The Journey From Oidhche Shamhna

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

The Journey From Oidhche Shamhna

Chapter 40

Patience.

Erwin sat on a chair he had pulled up next to the bed watching Rowena as she tossed and turned in her bid for sleep. Twice she had called out to him in the night and clung to him as he rocked her back to darkness. He had never seen her as this, not at the pond that morning he had found her, or on the long walk north. He leaned over and brushed the hair from her face, letting his hand linger on her cheek, and thought she had never looked more beautiful and hoped to never see her more fragile.

"Erwin?" Helga said softly as she crossed the floor to him on bare feet. "I have brought the potion you asked for."

He looked up at her and saw her eyes were swollen and red. "Thank you, Helga. You should have been in bed yourself hours ago."

"No, the baby has decided I should stay up tonight." She looked back to Rowena and bit her lip. "Hanson happened to be in town last evening. He said someone is making use of my brother's dwelling. Perhaps you could mention just that much."

"He just happened to be in town?" He leaned forward, rested his arms on his legs, and looked at the floor. "I am lost, Helga. What do I do? How do I fix this?"

"Some things cannot be fixed. If it were otherwise we would not have lost so much," she sighed and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Time will pass and the wound will heal. Eight months will fly."

"Is he in the kitchen already? Gryffin, is he awake?"

"No, he sits at the river south of town, watching over a dwelling built in the old way. He and Hanson took turns." She grinned at him. "Hanson will leave now to greet the family. It is soon sunrise. I will have him tell Gryffin that you wait."

"Helga, after waiting this long to greet Saul, leave the kitchen to the elves. Go."

"No." She smiled. "I will greet my own family today. My pains have started."

"Helga!" He stood and grabbed her elbow. "Here, sit."

"No, it is easy yet. Better to be walking." She turned to Rowena. "I had hoped to have her help me but Bretta and Karra are here."

"I will take you back." Erwin walked to the hook by the door and grabbed his robes.

"Thank you, I still do not like that staircase and am afraid of falling today of all days."

"Helga." He smiled and tipped up her chin. "No child will be loved more than the one you carry. No child is more welcomed and rejoiced." He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then tenderly placed his cape around her shoulders.

He turned to take her to the door to see Hanson looking at Helga with his eyes moist. "If I did not trust the two of you I would have my wand at your throat."

"If I wanted a witch I would make sure she was not quite so full of child, there is no room left for me." Erwin grinned as Helga swatted his arm.

"Helga, why is it you will come here and tell Erwin the pains have started but not me?" He folded his arms and tried to look cross at her.

"Because he will take me down the stairs and make sure I am comfortable."

"I would not do less."

"You?" She rolled her eyes at him. "No, you would do so much more. You would scream for the elves to find a Healer. You would send your Patronus for the witches, scaring them and waking the entire school. You would then fuss in the kitchen and ruin morning meal, spill the milk and make a mess. All that before I even went to my bed." She smiled at Erwin and jerked her head toward Hanson. "You watch, he will pace in the hallway and moan as if he is in pain himself."

"No," he said softly and walked to her. "What do you want me to do? Tell me and I shall do it."

Helga let her tears run down her face as she looked at him. "I want to go to my brother's dwelling and lay on the pallet. I want to smell the fire of peat and have you wait outside and come to me when he is born. I want to look up at the thatched roof and see the stars though the hole cut for smoke. I want my mother to hold him, and hand him to you for the naming and I want my father to be the first elder he sees. I want to feel for just once in my life to be a grown woman of my clan. I know our ways are gone, but I weep for them now."

He pulled her into his chest and closed his eyes knowing what she asked for was impossible. "I am sorry, so sorry, Helga."

"We could, you know." Rowena had woken and walked quietly up behind them. "Hanson, get an elf to do a side-along. They travel much safer they do we. With this travel, so much is now possible. Karra and Bretta can come by broom later if Marri and I need help, or if there are difficulties and we want their prayers closer."

"I will go on broom to your parents. I am sure Saul will come to collect them with me and show me the way," Erwin added.

"It is too much bother just for the birth of a child. He will have a lifetime to meet the others and to know his family." Helga looked from face to face. "Hanson? Will you really bring Liesel to me? Just her, it would be enough. The rest I can do without, but Liesel would make me feel at least at home. I am sure she would not object, that she would come for me."

"Helga, if you had told me sooner I would have her here now." He put his hand on her swollen stomach and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Don't you understand, witch? You are always willing to help others, they want to do this for you now."

"We have students, and lessons. Who will fix the meals and see to..."

"Enough, let the school have a holiday. I am sure that with the hundreds of gods that must live here by now, at least one has a special name to celebrate today." Rowena grinned.

"Can you go to Saul's?" Helga asked Rowena. "It will be hard on you."

Rowena studied Helga's face and then turned to see Erwin's head lowered to avoid her eyes.

"There is nothing there that will interfere with the day." Rowena and Erwin joined hands and looked at Helga. "I promised you I would attend your birthing, and I shall do it with joy."

"Hanson, take her now and as soon as we have informed Karra and Bretta we will follow." Erwin pulled Rowena to his side and held her tightly when he saw her begin to falter. "We must change into robes suitable for the dwelling. I am sure Saul would be more comfortable with them than as we are now."

"Look in the kitchen. I keep old robes there to wear in the winter. They are warmer than the fabric of the city."

Hanson shrugged. "She is scared of staining the bright fabrics everyone wears here and tries to make excuses for wearing the old ones."

"Go, now hurry," Rowena said, grinning. She had often put on her old robes before refilling the inkpots herself, too afraid of spilling.

They watched as Helga and Hanson slowly navigated the moving stairs before Erwin turned to Rowena. "This may be hard for you. If it is, I want you to leave. Promise me that before we go."

"I will be fine."

"Promise me, Rowena, even before this you have been tired, and quick to rest. This will only take more of your energy. I worry over your health."

"I promise to be a good little girl." She laughed at him and touched her fingers to him lips. "I want to be there. She deserves to have this as she wants. She gives so much and asks for nothing."

They arrived at the dwelling a short time later, Rowena barefoot and wearing the robes she remembered from her childhood and the traditional bridal cap and black cloth veil. She smiled at the feel on the dirt under her feet and the smell of the peat that rolled from the dwelling. Ducking down to enter the low-slung entry, she picked up a handful of herbs to throw in to the fire and worship the gods of the household. She lifted her chin and used her hands to pull the smoke toward her, breathing in the breath of the gods.

Turning, she saw Helga sitting on a reclining coach with her head on Marri's shoulder, her eyes bright and glistening.

"Come Rowena, hurry. This is Marri, Saul's wife. She is a Muggle, but you need not fear her. Really, she is my sister..."

"Helga." Rowena hurried to her and kneeled down in front of her. "It is fine. Marri? You are welcome here. As Saul's wife, I am sure you will be accepted by all."

Marri nodded nervously and looked to the entrance as Erwin walked in with Gryffin and picked up herbs to begin their prayers.

"I had my children in my mother's home. I do not know of your customs, what needs to done differently, or if indeed, there is anything. you need," Marri said as she put her arm around Helga's shoulder. "I will tell you that if anything goes amiss her brothers will descend on me like a swarm of locust and have my head."

"Marri." Saul frowned at her. "You will have them believing you."

"You know what I mean, Saul." She stood to tend the fire, walking away from the others to hide her worry.

"Saul? Talk to me. What was that about?"

Saul looked at his wife's back as she hunched over the fire, and then went to Helga, sitting next to her. "Some of your brothers are less than kind to her. Their wives are openly against her."

He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "When her time came they refused to help her, saying they had no time to birth a Muggle bitch. They will not enter our home. She is lonely, Helga - she has only us."

"Liesel? Liesel said that to her?"

"Heavens no. She loves Marri and treats her more as a daughter than the rest. I think that is reason enough for the other wives to dislike her. Helga, she is my wife and if you cannot..."

"If you finish that thought, she will have no more children of yours because your will no longer have a ..."

"Helga!" Hanson stood, glaring at her. "This is his household. Be still, witch."

"Oh hush, this is my brother and I am having a baby, you fool. It hurts like bloody hell and I will say what I want."

"Marri?" Helga held out her hand bade her new sister join her. "I will require nothing more than any woman. Our customs are simple. Once the boy is here, my mother will clean him and say the first prayer. She will give him to his father, who must be the first to say his name and offer his live and soul to god. In our clan he would then hand him back to my father, who is the eldest in the family."

"Do you have a priest to offer the prayer? Someone who must talk between you and your god?"

Helga shook her head. "No, why would we want to put someone between us?"

Marri sighed. "I do not understand all your beliefs. I try for the children, but I cannot seem to remember all of them. My god will deny me an afterlife if I go against him, but yours only seems to pass you to another."

Helga laughed and shook her head. "It is the magic that changes, in little ways if the birthing is done differently."

Rowena rubbed circles on Helga's back as a pain came over her. "We have two kinds of magic, it is thought. The magic of the gods, the old magic, and the magic that we can put in the wands."

"Yes." Helga winced. "Without the naming and the offering, the old magic may not be passed. Whoever takes the child and utters the name first is the father to the child as well as its soul. It is the most important part."

"A wives' tale." Saul scowled. "The gods claim the child in the womb. My children were all named properly, and Liesel was there as well as her husband yet Fran was not touched by gods, only by Marri's."

Marri looked at him and pressed her lips together, then stood and hurried out of the dwelling.

"She saddens when it is mentioned. She thinks the blame is in her and not the gods, as Liesel says the youngest is void. He goes unwanted in many homes and the other children shun him. I think she holds him dearest because of it."

Rowena looked to the fireplace where three children sat eating their morning meal. Two had the red hair of their father, and the youngest the dark hair and good looks of Marri. He turned and looked up at his father, bright-eyed and happy as he drank the milk from Temin's goat.

She felt Erwin watching her and turned from him, wanting to run from the dwelling and hide. These were the children of an uncertain future, children of both worlds and accepted by neither. These were the children that would live as his Elan.

"Rowena?" Helga reached out for her hand. "If you leave I will understand."

"No, I promised you and this I will do." She looked up into Erwin's eyes and smiled feeling the calmness and embrace of the dwelling's gods wash over her. "Marri must know that we will not turn from her, or her children. She must know that all children with magic are welcomed here and that my husband will help protect them as he protects and loves his own. She must understand this is a world that has changed, ours as much as hers. She must help us find our way with the little one, for we have no knowledge of his needs."

.

.

.

Helena had watched her parents walk up the path to the dwelling and turned her back on them, preferring to sit outside than to be ignored in the dwelling. She saw Marri as she came out now, and watched her as she ran to the river to sit on the grassy bank and cry into her hands.

Helena stood watching her, eventually moving closer, finally sitting down.

"What did they say to make you cry?" she asked.

"Nothing, it was nothing they said."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Just leave me, child."

"Rowena is my mother, you know."

"She seems a good person."

"Many think her so." She shrugged as she reached down, pulling a shoot of grass and tasting the sweetness where it pulled out from the larger blades.

"I am told I may only talk to you if it is needed, for the work and such."

"It is my mother's way of punishment. Her feelings were hurt and she became vengeful."

"My husband says it is the banishment of a clan, a serious thing. He says it is only used when a stoning could be called."

"Do Muggles do this as well? I mean the banishments and the stoning. I cannot imagine their mothers hating them so."

"The shunning we call it, it is not as complete because the Muggle world is much larger to hide in. Stonings happens, mostly to the west. However, if you go against the word of my god any number of deaths will he handed out."

"I did not slight a god. I only spoke of my mother's whoredom and the lax morals of the others. She is, you know, she..."

"Enough. You will not speak of your mother thus. It is one of my god's commandments, child, and I am sure one that your own gods hold high. Do not think I am a fool because the sign of Muggle has been hung around my neck."

"I would never think you a fool. I find much more intelligence in those raised in the cities," Helena said sweetly.

"I know you sitting with me is a young child's idea of gaining favour. While you are in this home, you will respect my husband's ways, and that of his god. I noticed this morning you did not offer prayer upon rising and twice left by the front entrance. You must ask forgiveness three times before the sun sets, for each offence." She stood slowly, brushing off her robes and looking off across the river. "This is a good place. Green and fertile. I wish to stay here, in this place. Do not think to set yourself between us, girl. Many witches have thought to get rid of this Muggle, and I can tell you, I am your match."

"I will soon be gone from here." Helena got up quickly and set her hands on her hips. "I have no intention of cleaning the floors of this...this hovel after those dirty...."

"I am proud to clean my husband's floors," Marri snapped at her loudly. "I am proud of what he has given up for his children and his pride of them. If you dare to speak that word aloud, I will banish you from even here. If he hears it, I fear for you."

"I am not scared of a wizard with no learning, I am not..."

"How dare you?" Saul thundered as he strode to the river. "I can hear you from the dwelling. My sister honours our home with the birth of her son and this is what I find?"

Marri lowered her head as she felt fresh tears come to her eyes. She began to walk past him on her way back to tend to Helga when he grabbed her arm and held her still, looking angrily at Helena.

"Girl, decide now. You will honour my wife and her children as the owners of this place or you leave at once."

"Saul, she is but a child. She cannot..."

"Stop, woman, this is her choice and she makes it now. She thinks she is above you? Let her learn where she fits."

Helena looked at him, unsure if he meant what he said. She looked around for Erwin, suddenly alone, and knew at that moment what banning would mean to her. She bit her lip and looked up at Saul, feeling tears run down her cheeks.

"Saul, please, she is..."

"No, she has done this to herself. She will abide by the laws. Answer me, child, before I make the decision for you."

"I will pay honour to your home, and family," she whispered and looked to the ground.

"How many times have you offended the gods already?"

"Three, twice I..."

"I did not ask you what only my wife saw, what have the gods seen?"

"Seven," she spat.

"That is the eighth, and add three each in forgiveness to my wife and her sons." He smirked at her. "Eleven at three each, and one more if you just had a thought of hate."

"Twelve," she muttered, and turned to stomp to the river to say her payers on her knees by the flowing waters.

"At least she was honest," Marri sniggered. "I would not have admitted to more than five and never to the hate."

"Our son will be allowed to stay, but they say many will be fearful of you. They are fearful that the wars could come here."

They both looked up to see the brooms return as Rowena's call came to Marri, bidding her to hurry. She turned back to Saul and frowned at the sadness she saw.

"It should have been this way for you as well, Marri. I did not know my own family would treat you as they did."

"Well," she laughed and placed his hand on her stomach. "Perhaps this time it will be different."

"How do you know, for sure I mean?" He brought his brows together in worry. He had watched her as she lost two before, and worried to see her so hopeful before she had seen a Healer.

"Ah, Saul, let me have this, for now, on this day, let me just have this and be happy for us." She put her hand on his cheek and shook her head. "Perhaps I will have my daughter this time."

He nodded and put his arm around her waist as they walked back to the dwelling. "Marri, promise me something. Promise me that if you have a child such as this Helena we can leave her on a doorstep or perhaps we can foist her on Helga."

"Saul!" She slapped his arm. "How can you... Saul, the baby is here... I hear him..."

She lifted her robes in her hands and ran up the path, laughing as she went and feeling happy at last. She passed Hanson, who nervously paced outside the entry, stooping down to peek into the darkness.

"Marri," he called out to her.

"Not now," she told him as she ducked down and ran to Helga.

"So soon? So lucky." She beamed and fell on her knees in front of Helga, who lay crying on the reclining coach. "Helga?"

"It means she is happy," Rowena laughed and wiped away her own tears. "You have to get used to it. She started when she found there are two."

Liesel held Helga's hand and leaned down to whisper in her ear. Helga nodded and rose up on her elbows ready to push again, only to have Liesel gently push her back and shake her head.

"This one is still too high, he will make you wait," Liesel said. "He is already like his grandfather, stubborn and late to everything. The man is never on time."

"Hanson will be anxious," Helga said as she tried to lay back, only to struggle to her elbows again. "Mother, take him his son before he sneaks in the back entrance and disgraces us both."

"This is what you get for making him wait so long to have his son," Liesel laughed.

"Blame it on him, I asked him to keep trying." She lay back with a grimace, hearing Marri's giggles, and closed her eyes tightly. "My mother heard that."

Alya had arrived, but stood back from the wizards, unsure of how to approach Hanson. She carried the traditional gown for the mother and her children, which she held clutched to her chest. Her eyes swept the area, looking for some sign of Gryffin. Sighing, she lowered her head and approached Hanson.

"Ayla?" he said, seeing her approach. "I do not know if this is a good time."

"Please, Hanson." She held out the birthing gowns. "I know I am not welcomed here. I was not told she laboured today. I wanted to bring these for Helga. I have only a moment, I must return before Salazar knows I have gone."

Hanson took them from her slowly, as if considering if he should. "They have lost their daughter. I am sorry, but I will not ask you to stay."

She nodded and lowered her head again. "He lost both his sons, Hanson. Perhaps when you hold your own you will be able to know what that loss must feel like."

"I don't think I will ever feel his hatred."

"The illness is a Muggle illness. He does not understand that anyone from the city, or anyone that had been in the city, magical or not, could have brought it. He only sees his dead son. He does not understand why Erwin treated him so cruelly, and why we buried our child alone."

"I am sorry for your loss, Alya, I cannot..."

"Do you know how we hurt when there was not one of you to help bury Jonas? Do you not understand how that cut him?" She wiped her hand across her face to remove her tears, then lifted her head and tried to smile. "This is a time of great joy. As one leaves, another is born. Tell her the entire student body stood as one and offered her their prayers at morning meal."

"I am sorry, Al..."

"No, not on this day. You will find two gowns for infants." She indicated the pile of gowns. "Tell Laulen if he was correct. He said three months ago that you would be doubly blessed today." She stepped back from him, then turned and ran down the path toward town, hearing Helena's voice and not turning toward it.

Hanson stood and frowned after her, fingering the fine cloths of the fabric, not knowing if Helga would want to use them, or if Saul would feel insulted, not being able to provide such gowns. He turned back to the dwelling as Liesel walked towards him.

"Hanson." She smiled and settled his son in the crook on his arm. "How do you name this one? Keep in mind he is one of a pair."

His head snapped up as he grinned at her, and then quickly looked up the path. "Liesel, someone brought gowns, two for the babes."

"Two? Not even she or Rowena knew of the second, so close was the beating of their hearts."

He frowned and looked back at the path. Then, smiling, he carried the tiny baby closer to the dwelling. Unsure of Helga's reaction, he lifted the baby high over his head and introduced his Sal to the gods. Sal was followed later that day, as the first star of the night appeared, by his tiny but full-throated sister.

Hanson held her to his face, laughing at her loud cry and flaying fists and whispered her name into her ear. He grinned and lifted her high, looking to the entry where Marri stood supporting Helga before he announced the name. The second child, his daughter, who he thought looked so much like the mother, became his Patience.

"Good gods." Helga frowned. "This is a foolish tradition, Marri. Next time I do this as a Muggle and name my own."