Unpredictable Life

~ Chapter 11: Breaking the Silence ~

He slowly rose from the spot where he had fallen and noticed for the first time that he had barely missed a patch of nettles. The faint glimmer of silver from above him made him look up. He had heard about werewolves but knew that he would be safe as the clouds parted and revealed the crescent moon. It was strangely tranquil to gaze at but his business was anything but peaceful in nature. He straightened his black cloak and used the faint moonlight to scan his surroundings. He moved back into the shadows instinctively.

His eyes narrowed in annoyance. His enemies weren't in the same place where they had toppled. His hand felt along his thighs and he cursed. He then remembered that the muscular wizard with dark brown hair had retrieved the stolen wand at the same moment that he had stabbed his shoulder with a stolen dagger.

Use your senses. The bastard's blood should have hit the earth. Find the blood trail. He transformed and began to prowl along the earth. He howled in triumph when he scented his enemy's blood but triumph quickly diminished into fury when he realized that his prey was still moving. The blood trail ended abruptly and he cursed silently.

A huge dark shadow slithered in between the trees and froze as soon as it spotted the small house. It sat on its haunches and planned its next move carefully. After several minutes, it was back on the hunt, running smoothly across the ground and heading straight for the hut. It did not bother the hunter that it was running into unknown territory. The only thing that concerned the hunter was that it got to its prey and killed them off.

~*~

Remus tossed in his bed, face twisted into an expression of agony. The feeling that something was not right in his home doubled. There was one small problem however. The werewolf could not wake up.

"Shhhh, stop fighting it, Remus," a silky voice instructed and the writhing man stopped moving.

That voice ... I know that voice.

"We should go, man. He'll come here," another male voice said urgently.

"No. It'll be amusing to watch him die," the first voice replied and Remus could almost imagine a sneer accompanying the words.

"You're raving mad," the second voice spat and the werewolf heard a loud crack.

"You just sleep, Remus. You really look like you need it."

Peter!!! He silently screamed and he tried to free himself from the bindings that had been placed on him. All right, Moony. Don't panic. You can still listen. There was a huge blast and it shook the entire foundation. Remus went very, very still. Beneath his eyelids, he was able to tell that Pettigrew had summoned light to illuminate the bedroom. Bloody hell.

~*~

"Lacerare!" the one-armed wizard named Peter Pettigrew screamed and scuttled along the bedroom wall.

The tall dark wizard, looking so much like a shadow, stopped in his tracks. Sirius Black looked down at his chest and watched impassively as the fabric revealed his pale skin. Slowly, faint red lines appeared and then they started to sting. Sticky red fluid began to ooze out and the sapphire-eyed Black was aware that Pettigrew was blabbering something.

"You should just forget this whole thing, Sirius. You're unarmed. Perhaps we can have a little talk," Pettigrew said shakily but the hand holding the birch wand was steady.

"Forget?" Sirius asked slowly and took a step forward. A thoughtful look crossed his face. "Do I know you?"

Pettigrew stared at him in shock. "What do you mean do you know me?" Sirius did not fail to catch the calculating gleam in his enemy's eyes. "You don't remember me. That's good." Pettigrew sighed and lowered his hand. Sirius watched him move to the other side of the bed and for the first time, he noticed that there was someone sleeping on it.

"We can start over, Sirius." Pettigrew planted himself near the sleeping man's head. "Listen to me, I am not your enemy and I haven't done anything to you or yours. But this one, he deserves death."

"What do you mean?" Sirius questioned him in a cold voice. He didn't dare to let the slightest feeling of confusion upset him.

"He betrayed you, Sirius. The four of us -- James, him, you and me -- we took oaths, never to leave each other. But he, he left you. Left you as Aurors shackled you and sent you to prison. He made your godson leave you as you fell through the Veil. I saw it all, Sirius. Through a scrying glass." Pettigrew rose to his feet and turned to face Black. "Remus -- he very nearly hid the truth, but the Master saw it in his eyes. Selfishness. He wanted Harry Potter for himself."

Sirius wasn't really paying attention to his quarry as a scene of him fighting a witch occupied his mind. He shook his head slightly and smiled faintly. "Say what you wish, wizard. Through your words, I know you that are lying. I do not know the man who is sleeping, nor the brotherhood you spoke of." Still, the blue-eyed man smiled and took several steps forward. Pettigrew scrambled quickly out of the way.

"Though I have lost my memories and the identity of my godson, if he really exists, my feelings are still true to me," Sirius Black said calmly but his voice chilled the Death Eater to the core. "Perhaps, if I had not met you on the pier the other night, you would have been safe."

"What do you mean?" Pettigrew inquired, his eyes darting to his left and right, probably looking for a way to escape. He believed that as long as Sirius remained talking, he would have time to call on his Master for help.

"The moment I caught your scent, it felt as though every thing unholy flowed through me. The filthiest soul resides in you. And now, now I have a maddening urge to kill you."

Pettigrew acted too late as seconds later, Sirius's hand lashed out at him. They tumbled to the floor and the black-haired wizard fought hard to knock the wand from the grip of his enemy's fingers. Since Black had lost his memories so he couldn't explain why he reveled at the feeling of punching the weaker man under him. He heard several bones crack beneath him and he gave a feral grin. Brown eyes looked up at him in fear as Sirius withdrew the dagger from its confinement.

"Please, Sirius!" Pettigrew shrieked. "MASTER!!! Please, Master! Help me!"

"Why do you keep calling for someone to help you? You're a wizard; I sense magic in you. But you're helpless." Sirius threw back his head and laughed loudly. "Goodbye, my friend."

"No ... Sirius! Please! Dear God! No!" Pettigrew fought to free himself.

"Goodbye." Blue eyes gazed penetratingly into his victim and watched as the light died from Pettigrew's eyes. Sirius watched in fascination as blood spurted continuously from his victim's throat. He carefully wiped the blood off his blade on Pettigrew's cloak before standing up, and contemplated the best way to dispose of the body.

The easiest way would be to burn the house down.

He casually picked up the dead wizard's wand and was about to chant something when a groan broke the silence that had surrounded the hut since the outcome of the scuffle. He cursed -- he had forgotten that the owner of the hut was home and alive. He quietly approached the bed and stared into the saddened face. The murderer started to have second thoughts about killing the innocent man. Well, I'll leave him be. I should burn the body outside.

~*~

Sirius did not just drag the body outside, but sent it floating deeper into the forest before he released the spell to set it on fire from the inside. He watched the figure burn slowly, ethereal green flames flickering brightly in the middle of the dark clearing. As the wizard stood there, he thought about the words Pettigrew had said.

His face was unsmiling as he contemplated. If what he said was true, and the sleeping man was a friend, I should be able to remember a little about my past. It's odd that I know that I'm a wizard and can even remember the spells but I don't even know if I have friends or family. He shook his shaggy hair out of his face but pulled at a lock of his hair. Hmmmm ... is it my imagination or do I have more white hair? He smiled as a voice in his mind told him to look into a mirror if he wanted to know the truth. He glanced at the pyre before shoving his hands into his pockets and walking away calmly. It's time to do a little interrogation.

He frowned upon seeing the blasted door and wooden splinters littering the front steps. He hadn't paid much attention as he had blasted his way in or when he had been dragging Pettigrew's body outside. He had no idea why he felt compelled to rectify the mess he had created but that was what the tall, handsome wizard did -- he cleaned up the mess in the house. He was busy charming blood off the bedroom floor when a thought struck him. He lowered his wand and turned toward the bed.

There must be something wrong with him. How else can he still be asleep with all of the noise I've made? He quickly abandoned his task and went straight to the wizard who Pettigrew had called Remus. Sirius frowned at the way the man was breathing but what concerned him more was that the sleeping wizard seemed to be in pain. "Ennervate." Still, Remus struggled. Sirius went to the kitchen and grabbed a pot. He filled it with some water and made sure that it was icy cold. He went back to the bedroom and flung the cold contents at Remus. He was unsure why he grinned but he felt as though he had done it before, to the very same person.

~*~

Remus immediately sat up on the bed and quickly grabbed his wand to mutter a drying spell. He was just about to yell at Sirius for pulling such a dirty trick on him but fell silent. The golden-eyed werewolf sat on the bed for a long time while he studied the wizard standing before him, still holding on to the pot. Sirius looked quite different from when Remus had last seen him. His friend had lost quite a bit of weight but Remus noticed that the tall man seemed to have regained the sharp alertness of his younger years. However, there were a few other things about his supposedly dead friend that stood out.

Black had assumed an aloof quality and the pair of blue eyes no longer contained the fiery warmth of a Gryffindor but had been replaced with a cold, dispassionate gaze typical of a Slytherin. Remus shuddered at his observations. Then there were the wide streaks of silver in the mane of jet-black hair. The werewolf sniffed the air and cringed when the scent of fresh blood hit his nostrils. I was right. He really did kill Peter.

"Do you know who I am?" Remus inquired politely, looking deeply into Sirius's face. The latter shook his head. The werewolf sighed and swung his feet off the bed. He felt a little surprised to see the mysterious-looking wizard jump and point Pettigrew's wand threateningly at him. He gave Sirius a steady look and kept staring until the wizard dropped his eyes and hand.

It seems that my 'Do-not-annoy-me' look still works on him. I bet he doesn't realize why though. Then, he sighed again and tucked his own wand back into his pocket. "Let's go to the living room and see what we can do about your memories. Tea?" His friend did not answer him verbally but gave a tight nod in response. "Make yourself at home and I'll be with you shortly."

As Remus brewed a fresh pot of tea, he glanced about his house and didn't fail to notice that almost everything was repaired. As he carried the tray to the living room, he paused to examine his display cabinet.

"Gods, Tonks is going to kill me," he moaned as his eyes rested on the jumbled mess. Well, at least he did try to clean up.

"Is that ... your wife?" Sirius asked hesitantly. Remus looked back over his shoulder. He was trying to rearrange the books in the order that Tonks might have arranged them.

"Merlin no! She is your cousin, once removed. She and Kingsley helped me to renovate some stuff," he answered and handed Sirius a cup of tea. He then took a seat not far from his friend. "If you don't mind my asking," Remus began after taking a drink, "what do you remember?"

"Why should I tell you?" Sirius asked, face guarded.

Remus set his cup on the table and leaned back in his armchair. He clasped his hands and stared at his friend. "Pick up that album on your left." The azure-eyed wizard looked dubiously at him for several seconds before reaching out for the black album labeled: At 12. The werewolf rested and watched Sirius's expression carefully as the man flipped the pages. Pure skepticism gave way to a troubled expression. The wizard did not close the album and his eyes remained fixed on the last photograph.

The hazel-eyed ex-professor knew what Sirius was looking at. It was a photograph in which Sirius sat next to Remus, with Ginny and Hermione kneeling ahead of them. Harry stood behind them, smiling shyly with his arms wrapped around his godfather's neck.

"Sirius," Remus broke the silence, "what happened to you?"

His friend raised his eyes and gave a helpless look. "I don't know. I don't remember you. And I don't remember him." Sirius jabbed a finger at Harry's figure. Remus stood up and began to pace, wondering if he should call Dumbledore for help. But it's two in the morning. McGonagall would cut off my head if he's resting.

"What do you remember then?" The tired-looking wizard forced himself to sit on the couch.

Sirius's brows furrowed in concentration. "I was pushed -- from a place. Then I was lying face down on a beach."

"What were you wearing?" Remus asked suddenly. He had just remembered that Sirius had not been wearing full sorcerer's robes when they had burst into the Department of Mysteries.

His friend looked surprised at his inquiry. "Tatters," Sirius replied slowly. Without prompting, he proceeded to tell the tawny-haired wizard how he had obtained his robes. Remus cringed again when his friend told him that he had killed a wizard and stolen his wand. The tall Black stood up and started to walk about the room as he gave a verbal account. Remus smiled; walking and talking to himself was Sirius's favorite method of studying.

When Sirius's account ended, Remus had to accept something else entirely. The Sirius Black that had returned to the wizarding world was truly different. He may not return to the Padfoot I remember. The werewolf's head pounded and he poured himself another cup of tea in the hopes of relieving the headache. The tawny-haired wizard contemplated the points that seemed to stick out in his mind. Due to unknown reasons, his friend seemed to have harnessed a new ability that made it possible for him to detect who was dangerous to him and who was not.

"Sirius, I think you ought to disrobe," Remus said and immediately went to his wardrobe. He started searching for the clothes Sirius had let him borrow the previous year. Well, what do you know? It seems like I have an entire set of clothing for him.

He returned to the living room, carrying an armload of sable-colored robes. Sirius looked at him with a puzzled expression. "The person whose clothes you're wearing might have been a Death Eater and Voldemort may trace them," he explained with a slightly apologetic look. Sirius looked at him dubiously but shed his robes without a trace of embarrassment. Oh damn... Remus swore silently since it had not occurred to him that his friend might be completely naked. Well, I don't think he's crude enough to steal another man's underwear.

"Padfoot, you're a bloody mess!" Remus exclaimed, finally noticing the lacerations on his friend's pale body. He went to the kitchen to gather some healing paste, clean bandages and a huge pail of water. Sirius began to scowl darkly at him when Remus pushed him back onto the couch and started to clean the caked blood away from his wound.

"I can do it myself," Sirius snarled and one hand came to grab the hand in which Remus held the towel. The blue-eyed wizard stiffened immediately and the werewolf was alarmed. Remus heard himself babbling something but his friend's clear voice silenced him. "He has Lily's eyes." Instantly, he let go of Remus, his hand trembling as though he had been burned.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" Remus leaned forward to touch his friend but came face to face with the silver blade. Bright golden eyes quickly turned into dark amber and the blade flew out of Sirius's hand. The dagger vibrated against the wall for several seconds before it stopped, embedded firmly in the wood. The werewolf took a deep breath and his earlier demeanor returned. "Padfoot?"

The azure-eyed Animagus gulped and tentatively touched his face. Remus held his breath, confusion radiating out of him at the contact. What on earth is going on here? his mind screamed. He stared at Sirius's face in alarm. He looks as though he's in pain!

"Lily's in labor," Sirius said in a strained voice. His fingers moved over to touch lightly at Remus's temple. "Harry -- James and Lily named him Harry. We're at the Hollow. Wormtail wasn't there." The handsome wizard crawled forward suddenly, surprising the werewolf. The tawny-haired wizard thought he might pass out when Sirius straddled him without a 'by your leave'.

Sirius's face was so close to his that Remus went a little cross-eyed trying to focus. He jumped when cool fingers slid underneath his collar and rested on the back of his neck. The face belonging to the man sitting on him was calm, his eyes closed. The werewolf breathed carefully and wondered what his friend was doing. Finally, he saw a small smile tugging on Sirius's lips.

"James accidentally cast a spell on you while you were sleeping. Lily was so mad because you had been shrieking and it woke Harry up. She silenced you with a spell but she couldn't wake you," Sirius said, opening his eyes. They looked a little hazy and unfocused. "She was extremely furious and went into lecture-James mode. She pulled him out of the bedroom and into the library. And I was standing at the foot of your bed and got the idea to splash water on your face."

Remus smiled and added his own observations. "But you mispronounced the spell and you flooded the entire bedroom."

Sirius slowly got up and sat at a respectable length from the werewolf. Remus was glad that he could breathe freely. It was rather hard for him to admit that he had actually felt vulnerable under his friend's gaze. The living room took on a more subdued atmosphere.

"The memories come when I touch you ... touch your skin," Sirius said quietly and gave Remus several minutes to digest his words.

What kind of twisted plan is this? The werewolf groaned and buried his face in his palms. His fingers were carefully pried out of his face and before Remus could even say a word, Sirius sucked gently on his thumb. Remus's eyes boggled and tried to pull away. His friend was having none of it and clutched tightly at his hand. Stupid, stupid black dog! Remus stifled the moan that escaped from him. When his finger was pulled out of Sirius's mouth, it was done so slowly that it was agonizingly erotic.

"You taste good," Sirius said in a way that was so much like his old self that Remus dared to glare at him. "If there's one thing I would rather not remember, she's it," the blue-eyed wizard said absently.

Remus couldn't help but feel curious. "Who's she?" he asked, tilting his head in inquiry.

"My mother. Horrible witch." Sirius grimaced, face screwed into an expression of distaste. "I think I have to taste you in order to regain my memories," he said bluntly.

"No way," Remus said flatly.

"I thought you enjoyed it," Sirius responded, eyes looking at his trousers and the werewolf snarled.

"So what if I did. You didn't," Remus shot back. His friend then gave him a desperate look.

"I want to know who I am," Sirius said harshly. "I've found bits and pieces of me in the last hour or so." The tall wizard stood up so he could look down on Remus. "Or had Pettigrew said the truth?" One of his eyebrows arched elegantly.

The werewolf saw red as the words left his friend's mouth. He took a deep breath and calmly walked away from Sirius, who stared at him in disbelief. Remus could hardly contain his anger but the voice inside his mind kept reminding him that it wouldn't do him any good if he let his emotions get to him. He snatched up his towel and went to the bathroom. He grabbed the small green cup, dumped the toothpaste and a spare toothbrush inside before heading back to Sirius.

His friend was in the middle of buttoning his trousers when Remus thrust the cup at him and promptly ignored the black-haired man -- minus the several streaks of silver -- as he reentered the bathroom to shower.

~*~

An hour later...

"Remus John Lupin," Sirius said through gritted teeth. "Will you please stop squirming?" One blue eye peeked out from behind the mass of black and silver hair, glaring intensely at the werewolf under him.

Remus turned his head to look out the window. It was dawn. He gulped and focused on his still glaring friend. "Sorry, Padfoot, but licking my armpit is damned unnatural," he growled.

"But you like it," Sirius said casually and resumed his task. The werewolf closed his eyes and repeated to himself that he would just go down to the shack and lock himself in there once the ordeal was over. He squirmed again when the amnesia-suffering wizard licked his side. Remus yelped loudly when fingernails dug into his arm.

Padfoot raised his head and stared at him. "You're a werewolf," he stated. Remus rolled his eyes sarcastically and tried not to fume.

The session went on for hours. Remus wasn't surprised that he had fallen asleep through most of it. However, he woke up because Sirius was doing the unthinkable. A loud groan escaped from his throat.

Still panting harshly, he managed to croak out, "What in the name of Merlin are you doing?"

"Shut up, Moony. The theory's simple enough; I have to touch and taste every inch of you to get my memories back. And I'm so close to remembering everything," Sirius grumbled.

Remus's eyes widened, not because of what his friend -- no, lover, since you can't be a friend if you're doing something so intimate -- was doing, but because Sirius sounded very much like Sirius. "You're back," the tawny-haired wizard whispered.

Sirius stopped for just a moment. He gave a superior look at the reclining man. "Of course I'm back, you git. Now, will you please be kind enough to be silent for at least another hour?" he requested sternly, but his eyes gleamed brightly with happiness.

"Bloody hell, Padfoot. You're really back ..." Remus's head fell back against the pillow, crying silently. His heart felt like it was bursting with sheer joy -- and pleasure.

"I'm going back to kill Bellatrix you know," Sirius said lightly. "Since I killed Wormtail, might as well pay all my debts."

"Sirius, could you please not talk about murdering someone now?" Remus pleaded.

Fifteen minutes later, Sirius sat on his heels and frowned. Remus too had sat up, looking at his friend in concern.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Remus asked.

"Bloody hell," Sirius swore and began uttering more blasphemies under his breath. He started to pace and some blood circulated upwards to Remus's cheeks as he watched the blue-eyed Animagus walked around the room with an erection. To spare himself from the eye candy, he went back to bed and covered his face with a pillow while pulling the covers up. "Hey! Don't sleep yet, Moony! I'm not done yet! I feel like there's still something missing!" his friend shouted.

Remus gave another groan. "Maybe you have to lick someone else to get the whole of it," he joked, his voice slightly muffled by the blanket.

"I don't think so," Sirius responded and flung the covers off. "And why in hell are you huddling up under blankets in this kind of weather?"

"Shut up and let me sleep," Remus shot a reply.

"You're not making use of your time, Moony. I came back, alive, and I had expected you to be glad about it." Black pouted.

Remus slowly removed the pillow and looked wearily at his friend. "Sirius, I am glad you're back, alive and well. And as yourself. But I'm feeling a little odd right now. I don't know if it is because of the sleepless nights I have been suffering since the night in the Ministry or if it is because of the cycle."

"No matter what, I'm not going to let you sleep," Sirius said firmly.

"Now, look here, Padfo --" His air was immediately cut off as Sirius sealed his mouth with his own.

The kiss was slow, tender and almost loving. When it came to a point that was almost unbearable, Remus stopped his lover. "Are you sure? Sirius? I mean -- I don't mind but --" the werewolf blabbered.

Sirius smiled faintly. "Surely you didn't think that I had prepared you for nothing?" he asked slyly.

~*~

It was near dusk before the couple managed to disentangle themselves. Remus buried his face in Sirius's neck and sighed contentedly. He planted a soft kiss on his lover's neck before inquiring if he had regained all of his memories.

"Yeah ... yeah, I have," Sirius replied, almost drowsily.

"What was it?" Remus questioned, feeling sleepy himself.

"I've always wanted to tell you that I love you, but for some reason, things didn't work out my way."

Remus pulled slightly away so that he could look at his lover's face. "What?"

His lover's eyelids opened slightly. "You didn't think I noticed?"

"What?" Remus repeated his question dumbly.

"You can be so thick sometimes," Sirius said, tousling Remus's hair affectionately. "Unless you really think you're in love with my godson."

Remus's eyes narrowed. "Are you picking a fight with me?" the werewolf asked sweetly.

"Nooooo ... but say that you love me," Sirius said impishly.

Remus sighed. "Of course, I love you, nitwit." He kissed his lover's lips tenderly. Sirius purred softly. "And Padfoot," he hesitated.

"Hmmmm?" Sirius made a noise and slid down the bed.

"I just want to remind you that I don't share my mate with anyone."

"Roger that."

~*~