Rating:
R
House:
Astronomy Tower
Characters:
Harry Potter
Genres:
Romance Slash
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 03/23/2004
Updated: 07/17/2004
Words: 99,276
Chapters: 20
Hits: 23,317

Unpredictable Life

Firesword

Story Summary:
SLASH. Harry Potter is trying to deal with the loss of his godfather by busying himself with sketching and exploration. One wizard in particular dominates all the pages of one of his many sketchbooks. Will the wizard accept Harry’s attentions or will he deny himself the love of one sought by many, but attained by none? Will Harry succeed in his latest quest?

Chapter 10

Chapter Summary:
SLASH. Unpredictable Life – Chapter 10. While Harry is swept up by overwhelming passion for the Potions Master, Remus a.k.a. Moony is still grieving over the loss of his sapphire-eyed friend.
Posted:
05/02/2004
Hits:
1,202
Author's Note:
We’re finally halfway through Unpredictable Life. Enter now to Phase Two!

~ Chapter 10: The Gloom That Threatens ~

Saturday evening. Deep inside a forest.

Remus Lupin watched as Kingsley and Tonks helped reshuffle his cabinet contents. The burgers on the stove gave a loud sizzle and he turned his attention back to them, carefully flipping them over.

"Are those ready yet?" Tonks grumbled and Kingsley laughed, slapping her rear casually. The young Auror gave a yelp and nearly dropped a jar of coffee beans. She shot her colleague a furious look and Kingsley laughed heartily at her. Remus gave a small smile but shook his head slightly, wondering how the two had managed to fall in love when the world around them was in turmoil.

"Tonks, do you mind slicing the buns?" Remus asked lightly and heard her mutter something under her breath. When he looked over his shoulder, he found that Kingsley was rubbing his shoulder while Tonks stomped off to another corner of the kitchen. Several buns whizzed out of a container and she cast a spell on one of the knives and set it to slicing.

"Have you heard?" The female Auror looked at him and Kingsley as she cut some cheese.

"Heard what?" Remus summoned the sliced buns and carefully inserted the burger patties into each one.

"That Severus is the one taking care of Harry?" She came over and dropped slices of cheese over the sizzling hot meat.

Remus felt his mouth go slack at the news. "Are you sure?"

"That's what Hermione reported," she said. The three adults sat down to begin their dinner. "She confirmed it after they all met up at Diagon Alley several days ago."

"That's a surprise." Remus blinked and chewed on the burger thoughtfully. "What is he up to?"

"You mean Dumbledore?" Tonks hazarded and he nodded. "I'm not too sure. Sending us to keep an eye on the Ministry and pulling the rest from surveilling Privet Drive is a bit out of character."

"I wonder how he let himself get into this situation," Remus mused, though his heart felt a little pang of jealousy. His two friends shrugged.

"The Potions Master is still producing the Wolfsbane potion for you, isn't that right?" Kingsley inquired and Remus nodded.

"Don't worry. I've been his steady customer for years now. It's unlikely that he'd forget about my dilemma," the golden-eyed wizard responded with a faint smile. "Any news about him?"

"No, but there is some news about the one you call Wormtail," Kingsley said quietly. "We nearly got him as he tried to get to Azkaban."

"Have Malfoy and his people tried to break out of the prison? What about the Dementors?" Remus sipped on his tea carefully.

"There haven't been any such attempts, but the Dementors ... Dumbledore is worried about them. Azkaban is their territory," Kingsley said as he finished his dinner.

"It would be so easy to catch our people off guard with an ambush. I don't like it that Fudge has assigned the greenies to keep watch on the prison," Tonks said and Kingsley nodded his agreement at her assessment. "Shucks -- look at the time," she swore.

"We have to get back to the Ministry," Kingsley informed Remus and the werewolf nodded.

"We'll see you soon!" Tonks said cheerfully and hugged the weary-looking Lupin. "Meanwhile, you keep low, wolf-man!" she warned him.

"All right. You guys take care," Remus hugged her back and clasped Kingsley's shoulder.

"Sound out the alarm if anything happens," the male Auror said.

Remus watched his friends step out of his small hut and waved goodbye. The two Aurors Apparated out of the forest as the brown-eyed wizard scanned the dark environment around him languidly. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary and he went in. He bolted the door firmly and went to his teapot.

It's empty? He lifted the lid and looked inside. Did I drink that much? He stared at the teapot in his hand in surprise then put it down and went to the stove to get his kettle. The werewolf absently filled it with water and lit the stove. He returned to sit on one of the stools and brooded, so lost in thought that he didn't hear a sharp crack and a strangled yell coming from the depths of the woods. His kettle gave a loud whistle and Remus put the fire out immediately. He methodically began to make more tea, letting his mind wander as his hands did the work.

He set the spoon aside and stood, wondering why he felt as if he had forgotten to do something. What is it? Something's missing. Remus frowned and looked around his small hut. His knees suddenly gave way and he sank to the floor. He hugged his own body and tried to stop shivering. Pain, anger, sorrow and bitterness filled his heart, effectively overwhelming him. He was angry with Harry, thinking that if the boy had heeded Dumbledore's warnings -- even the Potions Master's -- Sirius wouldn't have died. He was angry with Sirius because his friend was so stubborn that he had refused to remain at Headquarters even when Dumbledore had instructed him to. He felt indecisive because Remus Lupin was in love with both his friend and his friend's godson.

He took a huge breath and slowly rose to his feet. He was still shaking but steadied himself enough to carry the teapot and his mug to the living room. He quickly laid down on the couch when the room started spinning. I didn't get enough rest, he scolded himself. I should get more sleep. He closed his eyes and forced his muscles to relax. But I can't sleep... Remus opened his eyes and stared at the beams above him. A tear trickled down his left cheek as he recalled the dream he'd had the day before. The golden-eyed werewolf knew that his dreams had been triggered by the rush of memories as he had looked through Sirius's scant possessions.

~*~

The past. The Marauders' Seventh Year.

"Moony!" Sirius yelled and Remus looked up from the book he had been reading. His black-haired friend burst into the dormitory and immediately hauled the werewolf from his bed.

"What's going on?" Remus asked as his book dropped onto his bed and he let himself be pulled unceremoniously out of their dormitory and down to the common room. They saw James tapping his foot impatiently by the portrait hole. "Where's Peter?"

"Didn't you know?" Sirius still held his hand and followed James out. "He's not here. An emergency at home."

"Emergency?" Remus asked, curious.

"From what I heard from McGonagall, his mother had a miscarriage. Nasty thing to happen," Potter grimaced. "But that's not the point for bringing you out." The seventh-year Gryffindor who had a huge crush on a certain fiery-tempered female grinned widely.

"Nor was it to put you into a state of depression," Sirius said. Remus was aware that Sirius's thumb was caressing his palm lightly. Sapphire eyes widened innocently as their messy-haired friend suddenly wore a disapproving look.

The blue-eyed boy quickly added, "You know, I'm not saying anything bad about Peter , but it really is no fun when the Slytherins literally treat him like a practice subject. The next thing you know, we absolutely have to get into the melee

--and at the most inopportune times," Sirius said, pouting a little as he recalled one such incident which had occurred exactly thirty minutes before their History exam.

Remus too was remembering the confrontation and grimaced as he thought about his performance during the test. He had been so angry at Crabbe that he had unconsciously written profanities in a very small hand around the edges of the answer parchment. Luckily, Professor Binns hadn't seen it. He'd probably have earned a month's long detention if it had been Professor McGonagall's paper. The Slytherins' sudden interest in pranking as much as the Marauders did always caused his temper to fly. Luckily, he was able to control his emotions better than his friends could. However, having detention meant that he'd have less time to revise

-- although his best friends weren't too bothered by that.

"It still escapes me why the Greenies chose Peter, who is a member of the greatest pranksters Hogwarts has ever known. With all the stuff we've pulled on them, wouldn't it be better for them if they stayed out of our hair?" Sirius asked sourly and James shrugged his incomprehension. "I'm sure getting detentions and failing their tests surely was not what they had planned." The tall handsome boy-wizard smiled cruelly as he recalled the expression on Snape's face when he had received a bold 'D' for Charms.

"We're getting sidetracked. Listen, this is the plan

-- we're going into that classroom that Sirius spotted earlier last night -- the one near Charms," James told the two of them in a serious tone. "I'm going to take the shortest route there which is by sneaking past Filch. He'll be cleaning the floor at this hour. You two take the other way. Try not to run into anyone, including fellow students."

"Are we pulling another prank?" Remus whispered automatically.

"Seriously, Remus. It's rather hard to imagine that a boy like you can spend thirty minutes thinking up twelve different pranks," Sirius said, eyes lit with mischief. "No, we're not doing another prank." They separated and Remus watched James disappear under his Invisibility Cloak.

"Come on. Let's hope that we don't bump into anyone," Sirius said quietly. Later during the night, Remus would wonder why he had not asked his friend to release his hand. At that particular moment though, both of them were running, pausing every time they reached a turn before sprinting off again, hand in hand.

In actuality, the hazel-eyed Gryffindor liked the body contact so he did not say anything about it. After James had accepted Peter into the group several years earlier, Remus had found that he rarely had the opportunity to talk with the blue-eyed boy. He scolded himself for resenting Peter but the opportunity to spend time with Black was too good to be easily dismissed.

They slowed and Sirius carefully pushed Remus against the wall and put his finger against his lips, indicating that they should be silent. It was rather difficult to calm his breathing when Sirius was hugging him. Seconds later, they heard voices belonging to Madam Hooch, the flying instructor, and Professor Flitwick, the Charms professor.

"I hope the Marauders won't jinx the first-years' brooms," Hooch moaned and Flitwick calmed her down by telling her that the boys were old enough not to consider the younger students fair game. The two staff members turned into another hallway and Sirius slowly pulled himself off his flattened friend.

"Remus? Remus!" Sirius shook his friend's shoulder lightly, alarm clear on his face.

"I'm okay." He smiled. "Just a little out of breath."

"Let's go then!" Sapphire eyes twinkled brightly and the boy absently took hold of his friend's hand again. "Finally!" The corridor was dark and the two boys tiptoed as they approached the targeted door. "Inside. Quick."

Remus entered the pitch-black classroom and remained close to the wall. Sirius followed, quietly closing the door before announcing their arrival.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" Several girls and boys exclaimed and Remus froze. The room slowly brightened and then he saw James, a couple of their housemates, George Walter, a Ravenclaw, and Lily and her group of friends. At Sirius's command, a birthday song filled the entire classroom and a remote part of the werewolf's mind yelled that they were all going to get detention for sneaking around the castle and arranging an illegal gathering.

"Make a wish and blow out the candles," Lily Evans said with a smile. The rest of the party proceeded in a blurry haze. Remus managed to pull James from Lily

-- he noticed that the girl was having a friendly chat with his friend -- and asked the excellent Seeker just how they had learned that it was his birthday.

"Sirius, of course," James answered flippantly.

"But how?" Remus pestered.

"By observing you for nearly six years, I reckon," his friend answered and looked at him oddly. It felt as though as the boy knew something he didn't.

"Remus! What are you doing over there?" Sirius bounded up to him and started pulling at him again. "You've got presents!"

"Sirius, calm down!" Remus said and grabbed the slender wrist. "I'm not going to open them now."

"But

--" Blue eyes looked at him with disappointment.

"It's rude. Moreover, who knows what you guys have gotten for me? Can't let the girls find out that you happen to have a perverted mind, right?" Remus spoke, looking slyly at his tall friend. Sirius's cheeks turned slightly pink at his words.

Getting back to their dormitories later that night was chaotic. James was the first to leave and again, Sirius and Remus were the last to go. Lily had helped Remus charm his gifts into very minute parcels and promised that she would lift the spell the next morning. Knowing that she would be true to her word, he let her take all of his presents back.

The two Marauders were already near their tower when Remus's alert senses picked something up. Suddenly and instinctively, he slammed Sirius into an alcove. He was breathing hard on Sirius's shoulder with his arms wrapped about his friend's waist. A maddening shriek vibrated throughout the castle as the notorious poltergeist swept into the corridor. More shrieks and curses followed. The two did not know what Peeves had done or who was in the crowd that was chasing the poltergeist.

"God that was so close," Remus breathed. He took a step back and the Marauders looked at each other uncertainly.

"Happy birthday, Moony," Sirius finally said softly.

"Thanks." Acting on impulse, the golden-eyed prefect slowly pulled the handsomest troublemaker Hogwarts had ever seen close to him and kissed him. Sirius had stared at him as if he had gone mad and it cut through his heart. That was the last time he was ever alone with the good-looking Black.

~*~

The present.

Remus trembled and tried to forget his memories. It didn't help when on those rare nights that he did sleep, he usually ended up dreaming of things he wished he had dared to do when his friend was still alive. Now I have so many regrets that it's hard for me to breathe. Sorrow gnawed at his heart and his mood spiraled even further downward.

I should be dead, he thought sadly. He sat up and slowly drank the tea he had poured into the cup. He looked around for something to do. Another wave of dizziness hit him and he decided that he ought to get some sleep. That's funny. I want to die, but at the same time, I want to continue living. The lights in his house dimmed before plunging him into complete darkness. By that time, he had undressed and was crawling into his bed. Like all the other nights, he prayed for a dreamless sleep. He closed his eyes but did not fall asleep. I don't like being alone. I don't like being left with nothing to do. Sirius could cope with it, but I can't. I get depressed too easily. That made him guilty all over again. However, he finally dozed off, even if it took him an hour to do so.

~*~


Author notes: No teasers for the next chapter. Wouldn’t want to give away anything … Wormtail will die …