The Lily

The Lily

We were alone on the tower.

The scene was beautiful, one of those that you would see in the movies or the books. The evening was clear and warm. From our perch on the astronomy tower, we could see little golden fireflies lighting the lawn below. The moon was just beginning to appear, still vague in the darkening sky. A few stars twinkled, but most were too difficult to see. The sun was just setting, painting a rainbow in the sky. The red-orange sun blazed over the treetops of the Forbidden Forest, contrasting with the darkened green of the trees' leaves. The red-orange faded to an enchanting magenta colors, and magenta to hypnotizing violet. The violet melded into the dark, velvet blue. The few clouds were silhouetted lavender. The scene was breath taking.

And I was alone with him, atop the tallest tower with the greatest view anyone could have ever seen. Above us was the changing sky, and below us was the green lawn of Hogwarts and the dark lake, rippling in the wind. The Forbidden Forest stretched out before us, a sea of trees. Gray towers reached up towards us, but we were the tallest. We were in command of the expanse below.

I looked at him, fiddling with the book I held in my hands. He was lost in the setting around us, amazed and distracted and hypnotized. I watched him take it all in, watched him like I always had, for the last six years. I loved him.

But did he love me? I doubted it. At least now, he had recognized me as a friend, and not just Ron's little sister. That thought was comforting, but I wanted more, even though I knew I'd never get it. It was only a crush, a silly old crush. But why was part of me convinced that my feelings for him were so much more than silly crushes and infatuations?

He felt my gaze and stared back at me. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest, fluttering to break free. I could almost soar into the clouds above me with the feeling of his eyes watching only me. But instead of staring back, I did the only thing I could do, and looked away.

"It's the last day of Hogwarts," he whispered, turning to look back at the lake.

"For you, it is." Being a year younger than him, I'd always felt like an outsider. I didn't need any reminder of it to put a stopper in my content mood. "Let's not talk about that."

"Okay." He still seemed distant, like he was off in some other world and thinking about something else.

The silence continued, as we watched the brilliant vista below. It was finally starting to get uncomfortable. I opened up my book, convinced that Harry was in too much of a distracted mood to talk, and looked at the flower inside. It was extremely old, but through magic spells I'd managed to preserve it's beauty.

I fingered the soft white petals, traced their edges to the tips and back again. The petals were amazingly soft. I held up the flower, a Belladonna Lily, and held it to my nose. Its sweet scent was still fresh and beautiful, but only because of the spell. It's amazing what magic can do sometimes.

Harry was looking at me, and this time I blinked back.

"Yes?"

He seemed puzzled as he asked, "Where did you get that flower?"

I smiled sadly, disappointed he didn't remember. "From a friend. A very good friend."

"Oh." He was still confused, as though he were trying to remember something, something almost right in front of his nose...

"If you'd like, I can tell you the story."

"The story? The flower has a story?"

"Yes, it does. Would you like me to tell you?'

"Why not?"

"Okay." I beamed. I was somewhat nervous; I'd never told anyone this story before. I hadn't even written it down in a diary, but although it was so long ago I remembered every detail. "It began on a Saturday morning..."

})({ Flashback })({

I had been left behind again. Only this time, we were in London, and the streets were so much busier. I don't know why my dad always took us to muggle cities; why did we need to visit muggle shops when everything we needed was provided in regular wizarding shops? It didn't make any sense, not to a seven-year-old. I was confused and alone on the wet streets of London, for it was raining again. Tears strewed down my cheeks as I shivered in the icy mist.

"Daddy?" I cried, my little voice swallowed up in the hum of the Londoners around me. "Ron? George? Fred?" I cried louder each time, desperately hoping that someone would come find me and rescue me from the thick crowd. "Percy?" I whimpered. Where was everyone? Why did they leave me behind?

I found my way out of the crowd; at least I had open space now. As I surveyed the area before me, I was amazed at the beautiful park I found. Even though it was raining, it was still spring and the trees were in full bloom. I sat down on a slippery bench, put my legs up to my chin, feet resting on the bench, and shivered once more. My dress was soaked to my skin, my hair clinging to my neck, but the rain droplets weren't hurling down at me as quickly as they had been before. In fact, they were starting to stop altogether.

"Hello."

The voice on the bench startled me, causing me to jump off the bench and stumble onto the path. I sat back down, smoothed out my dripping skirt, and looked at the boy next to me. He had messy black hair, broken glasses fixed with white tape, and clothes much too big for him. His eyes shifted, as though he were anxious and almost hiding from something. He pushed his glasses up his nose, what must have been a nervous habit.

"Hi," I said, trying to sound how I didn't feel: confident and calm.

"Are you lost?"

I blinked water out of my eyes: what was really tears, but could have passed for rainwater. I didn't know whether I should say anything or not. Then I looked at him with sad, innocent eyes as I said meekly, "Yes, I was left behind again. I'm alone now."

He nodded, smiling sympathetically. "I know what you mean, to be alone. Except, you aren't alone now 'cause I'm sitting here."

I sniffled, trying to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't let a boy see I was crying... could I? Or was this one different? I didn't reply, just put my legs up again, hugging them close to my chest.

"Sorry you're lost, but I wish that I was."

"Why would you want to get lost?" I asked, staring at him questioningly. I always hated getting lost and feeling so alone.

"If you lived with the people I do, you would, too," he explained, "I'm pretending to be lost right now."

"Pretending?"

"Yeah, so they won't find me. But they're somewhere near here."

A person called out from the distance, yelling for someone to come back to them. He sighed wistfully.

"Here." He thrusted a flower at me; I couldn't tell where it came from. "It's a lily. That was my mom's name. She's gone, though. I live with my aunt and uncle, they're really mean."

"Oh..." I took the lily, examining it and twirling it in my hands. Raindrops dripped from its petals, decorating them like diamonds.

"Now, you won't be so alone. Even if you get lost."

I sent him a confused look. How could a flower keep my company?

"You'll see what I mean."

A shrill voice yelled sharply again, and he cringed.

"If I stay any longer, they'll yell at me louder. Maybe I'll see you again someday. Bye!"

He ran off down the path, turned around the corner, and was gone. I held the flower up to my face. The drops on the petals made little rainbows on the pure white petal. Its fragrant was sweet. I brushed one petal, drops splattering on my face.

"Ginny! There you are!" I glanced up, surprised at the sudden outburst. "You had us worried."

"Ron said we'd find you here."

George and Fred stood before me, my older twin brothers.

"Surprising, he actually knew something for once."

"That was mean," Fred chided, a bit sarcastically.

"I was only joking. Trying to lighten the mood up a bit." He whispered something to his twin, eyeing me.

"We should get you back with Dad, now."

"Yep. We're leaving as soon as we're all back together."

I sighed with relief, wanting so much to be able to get back to my bed and sleep. I stood, and we continued down the path. I wasn't alone anymore, Fred and George had found me.

})({ End Flashback })({

He was staring at me, but I couldn't read his gaze. I blushed, turned away, and put the flower in the book. The sun was almost gone now, only a thin line of golden-red light spread across the horizon.

Shifting uneasily, I stepped towards the door. "It's getting late, I'd better go." Then, before he could stop me, I opened the door and raced down the steps, running through the empty stone corridors. I wasn't sure what it was I was escaping from, but now... now I wanted to be alone. It was strange, how, when I was little, I'd wanted so much to not be alone. I supposed I'd grown used to the solitude after all the years.

I stopped to pause and catch my breath behind a corner. I opened the book and took out the flower. The white lily seemed frail and delicate, but that was because of a spell. Life couldn't be like that: you couldn't just change your life with some magical phrase. If it was lonely, it would always be lonely. Maybe when I had realized that, I had been able to cope with the silence and the loneliness. Maybe that fact was what made it easier to just watch him from a far. Maybe that comprehension had made me frightened of company, and nervous to go near him.

I sighed, and decided to walk the rest of the way to my dormitories. It wasn't that far anyway, nor was it too late for some students to still be going back to their common rooms: a teacher couldn't yell at me.

I opened my mouth to say the password, but the words came from behind me. Harry had caught up with me. I winced, ready for some kind of berating or lecture or criticism. That's what I always received whenever I shared my innermost thoughts and dreams. And my crush on Harry was always something that embarrassed him, ever since I'd decided to send him that valentine in my first year.

He allowed me into the common room first, and stepped in behind me. I started once more at a rushed pace towards the dormitories, but this time his hand caught my own first. A tingling rushed through my hand, electrifying and yet at the same time soothing. Was this the first time our hands had touched? It may have been; at the moment I couldn't remember any other times.

He led me towards a table in the corner, the rest of the students oblivious to us. I sat down across from him, nervously fidgeting with my book. It was a book of poems I'd written and collected over the years, and at the very beginning I put my lily.

"I'm sorry."

I watched him, eyes looking up while my face was staring down at my book. "Sorry?" Why was he apologizing? I shouldn't have shared such a secret though to him. Although... he should have remembered it himself. And suddenly, I felt angry that he couldn't even recall the thought I'd cherished all these years.

"Yes," he nodded, affirming his answer. "I didn't even remember that until now. And..."

"And...?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry for ignoring you, I guess."

"Yeah, well... It's okay. I'm used to it."

He stared at me twirling the book in my hands over and over again. "Stop fidgeting," he told me suddenly. "There's no reason to be nervous."

I set my book down on the table and rested my arms by it. The flower's petals and the end of its stem hung out the end of the book.

"May I see it?"

Surprised, I opened the book and handed him the flower.

He examined it. "This flower is ten years-old..." he murmured. I nodded. His mind seemed lost in another dimension, his thoughts kept hidden by the mask on his face. He set it down on the table. "This flower doesn't suit you."

"It doesn't?"

"No. However..." He took out his wand and mumbled something.

The lily floated above the table, streams and sparkles of light swirling around it in rainbows of color. Some people glanced over to see what was happening, and gawked at the amazing site. It was spectacular and brilliant and dazzling. And in a sudden burst of color, the lily transformed. Floating above the table was still a white flower, but it was different.

The flower was a Christmas Rose, with white petals and surrounding the yellow tendrils in the center were green rings. They were like green eyes. Thinking back, I remembered something I'd read in a book once. "Christmas Rose: Helleborus niger 'Potter's Wheel'" I felt suddenly extremely nervous and anxious.

"It's... It's beautiful. Wow..." I felt tears welding up in my eyes. I took the flower in my hand hands. It smelled better than the lily had; it smelled sweeter.

"Do you like it?" he asked, apprehensive.

"I love it." I love you...

He grinned, a genuine smile. I smiled back, heart thumping in my chest.

"Good. I'm happy."

"Me, too. I'm happy, too."

* } )( { *

Ginny Weasley's Poetry Diary: Page 241

[Last Page of Diary]

Genuine

My life began so lonely, waiting for a day

Waiting for a friend who'd never hesitate to play

After all these years of waiting, I'd finally found the one

All my lonely years of waiting were finally all gone

So many words have yet to be said

But I think I know what you mean

When I see you grinning back

And I know your smile's genuine