Veritaserum

They are going to shit their knickers when they hear. Potter and his little band of followers I mean. They'll probably think me turning in my own father was a big deal. I may get a few pats on the back. I may make a few friends, yeah right. More reasonably, I may be hunted down by Death Eaters or forced into the submission of the Dark Lord. But no one understands. No one really knows the truth.

I'd always hated my father, though it took me a while to realize it. After all, I was quite busy trying to impress him all through my years at Hogwarts. Nothing was ever good enough for him. I could've been smarter than that Mudblood Granger and he wouldn't have been happy. He never loved me; him nor my mother.

I just always thought, hoped that, maybe one day, he would look at me and say, "Nice job."

Instead of, "Do better, you pansy-assed git. You're a Malfoy. Now stop being a disgrace to your name and start honoring it."

Some part of me hates myself for betraying my father, but it was what he deserves. He deserves to be tortured. A Dementor's Kiss is nothing compared to the beatings and curses I've put up with since childhood, along with the stoic treatment my so-called great family has given me throughout my life.

I used to be proud to be a Malfoy. Now I'm just torn between hating myself for being everything a Malfoy isn't and feeling free because of it.

Malfoy is my identity. Malfoys are rich, they hate Potter and his followers, hate Mudbloods, serve the Dark Lord; they are generously handsome and are Slytherin to the bone. And, part of my Malfoy identity may indeed be me. But not everything. Not anymore. I'd never serve the Dark Lord, if only just because my slimy pathetic excuse for a Father did. And I don't hate Potter as much I let on. Don't hate the Mudbloods, either. I just pretended I did to impress Father. But looking back now, it seemed bloody stupid and pathetic. Probably was. But who out there can say that they don't strive for some little praise from their parents? It was stupid, I know. But I know a lot more now.

Charms Class starts in fifteen minutes so I skipped the end of breakfast to go early. I guess I wasn't ready yet for the staring. Already, my own house mates have banded against me. The evil glares from the sons of those who are just like who I was. It wasn't very Slytherin of me to not only hand evidence over to the Ministry but to also testify against my own blood. But I doubt any cunning plans would've helped the situation much. Still, I wasn't ready to face the reality of my reactions. I don't want the looks of suspicion, or the looks of approval from everyone else. I want to be left alone. The only wizard in the world I could use some support from is Mother, but she doesn't seem to care about anything at all.

I walked to Charms early; I didn't want to run into many people on the way. Professor Flitwick nods at me as I enter. I keep my head down. I couldn't be Draco Malfoy, pureblooded prat today. I was stuck being just Draco. And my witty comments would never be able to cover up my emotional state, so I just sit staring off in silence as the other students file in. I couldn't help but notice the glare from Weasley. You would think the git would be happy that I turned my own father in. Granger was shooting me odd looks, too. I didn't even want to see the looks Potter was probably giving me. This reflected my state of mind, not even harassing my arch nemesis would bring a smile to my face today. Instead I was afraid to look at him. I was becoming pathetic.

My Father's voice in my head screamed "You already were."

Weeks went by, and not much changed. Most of the Slytherins refused to recognize my presence. But it wasn't unbearable. Snape occasionally sent me looks of pity. I almost ripped his head off the first time. Granger and Weasley still kept gawking at me. Potter avoided me. That was well, for I avoided him, too. It worked out grand. But something was amiss in his follower's attentions in me, and it was beginning to bother me to the point of asking them. I was almost back to normal. Almost. A sneer was commonly back in my regular wardrobe. My ever-so witty comments still came, just not as often and not as cruel...disappointingly enough.

Imagine my luck (and surprise and disdain), that I'd walk into Weasley and Granger during a stroll through the halls.

"He's lying, I tell you! Something's very much wrong here. It's a cover. It's a scam. It's just not the truth! Remember who we're talking about here. It's Malfoy! Not some honorable person," Ron Weasley argued. Hermione Granger looked slightly convinced.

I just had to hear this. Something in me was very much bothered by the fact he didn't believe me. After all, I had done it. It pained me that I had done it. He should be happy that I did it, and even happier that it hurts me. The situation was disconcerting.

"Don't believe me, eh?" I asked, venturing out of the shadows and into the corridor where they stood.

Granger at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed. Weasley, however, just nodded antagonistically.

"The only way I'd ever believe you, Malfoy, is with Veritaserum." Weasley charged.

So that's what it took. I tried convincing myself I didn't care what the Weasel thought of me. But I did.

"Fine. Then let's do this." I challenged.

Weasley's face flickered from confusion to surprise to victory. Still, I felt somewhat on top. After all, if the situation were turned he certainly wouldn't drink Veritaserum, brave stupid Gryffindor or not.

"Hermione, go get the potion." Weasley ordered. She started to walk off.

"What the bloody hell are you doing with Veritaserum already made? You been planning on using it on me, haven't you? And aren't you afraid the Ministry of Magic is going to bust you. That shouldn't sit too well with Daddy." I found his lack of trust annoying and my tone made my mood very evident.

"I wasn't lying when I said I didn't trust you. I need to know if you're still a danger to Harry. Dad'll understand." Weasley defended.

"Oh, bollocks. You actually think you're helping Potter? You think you're father won't be upset? You're stupider than I thought." I was still annoyed at the fact that he didn't trust me, but his reasoning was highly amusing.

Weasley glared.

"So you just told Granger to make you some Veritaserum, then? And she broke a rule to do it?" I wondered aloud.

"I bet that she couldn't. So she did. If Hermione hates anything, it's being told she is unable to do something, even if it is against the rules. She just didn't realize why I wanted it."

"Cunning, really. You could've been in Slytherin. Of course, we have much better things to do than this, but I'm sure your Gryffindor mates would be appalled at you anyhow." I baited.

He looked even angrier. I was feeling much more myself all of sudden. Arguing with Weasley was extremely entertaining.

"And what would Potter think of all this?"

Weasley looked guilt stricken. Potter didn't know. I don't know why that made me feel relieved at all.

Granger returned with the potion before I could make Weasley any more upset. "Let's get out of the hallways." She said firmly.

I followed them both to the first floor girl's lavatory.

"Why are we in the lavatory?"

"Because we won't get caught here." Granger admitted and pointed at the ghost who was crying loudly in one of the stalls. I rolled my eyes.

"Just drink the potion, Malfoy." Weasley ordered.

I complied. I just wanted to get this over with. Especially before I got to thinking about why I exactly wanted him to believe me.

The taste was almost unbearable. It was like getting every gross flavored Bertie Bott bean ever created stuck in the back of your throat. But I didn't vomit. I was not about to show weakness in front of the Mudblood and the Weasel. After finally swallowing, I looked up at them in anticipation with a slight grimace.

"Is it really that bad?" Granger wondered. I nodded.

"So let's get this out then. Did you really set up your father?" Ron inquired rudely.

"YES."

"With no ulterior motives?" Ron asked looking quite bewildered at finding out that I wasn't lying.

"No hidden agenda. I wanted my father to die."

Ron seemed pleased with that answer.

I still wanted to puke.

Granger seemed like she was holding something back.

"Come on now. Out with it, Granger. Might as well interrogate me while you can. No second chances."

"Why do you hate us?" She mumbled.

Hate them? I didn't hate them. Well, not since I stopped being my father's little pawn.

"I don't hate you." I admitted.

Ron looked quite surprised at that.

"Then why are you so mean?" She questioned, also shocked.

"I'm jealous." Oh Merlin, I said that aloud. Damn Veritaserum.

"Of what?" Ron asked suddenly interested.

Cat's already out of the bag. Might as well at least get the pleasure of shocking them some more. Not that I had much control over spilling the beans.

"Your friendship. Your bloody honorable good intentions. Granger's intellect. Potter's bravery. And yes Weasley, even you. For your family and loyalty." I hung my head in shame. Telling myself to say it, and then actually saying it without being able to lie were two different things. They now knew I had nothing like they did.

And I didn't. All I had left was my father's filthy fortune. I never even had that much to begin with. The mansion, the money, and the name were all that belonged to me now. That just wasn't enough anymore.