Hydra at Hogwarts

Chapter Three: Reflections & Potions

'Severus, could I ask you about Remus' Wolfsbane potion?' Lily asked one evening, as she translated Old English instructions from an old Potions text.

Snape lifted his head from the tiny phial he was turning over the flame. 'What about it?'

She hesitated, both at the sharpness in his voice and because she was trying to sort through her thoughts. Snape had a disturbing ability to cut through even carefully worded phrases to expose any inconsistency or flaw in a sentence and she now tried to think carefully about all her statements when she was with him. 'When I was in Europe, I met a werewolf who used a modified variant of the Wolfsbane potion. I obtained a sample of it but couldn't analyse the contents.'

'Perhaps you should have kept up with your Potions studies.'

'It's very hard to distil a potion in a shack in the middle of nowhere,' she flashed back. 'the werewolf eventually disappeared, impossible to track. He was fairly mentally unstable.'

'Not at all like our dear friend Lupin, then.'

'What exactly do you have against him still?'

He looked at her with detached interest, tapping his mouth with one long finger, then turned away to refill a jar from a storage cabinet. 'So what are your theories? I'm sure you have one or two.'

Ignoring his mocking tone of voice, she replied, 'Well, the potion was a different colour and texture to the fluid in that bottle you gave Remus. It was opaque, lighter in colour. It seemed to have something added to extend its life, as he only took it once a month, just before full moon.' Snape suddenly strode across the room to sort through jars on a shelf, his black robes swirling round his legs. She continued, 'I had also wondered if it had something to do with manipulating inhibitions.'

'What makes you say that?' he snapped over his shoulder, his fingers curled around three small brown glass octagonal jars of different sizes, which he put down on the bench in front of her.

'Only that the full moon change seemed to be much less of a problem for this werewolf. He had no shame or revulsion about his condition, something which seems to affect Remus quite a bit. He could also control his human responses totally, he had a complete awareness of his body. The potions also allowed him to change almost at will, which he accordingly did, even when it wasn't full moon. I think it might have been the frequency he spent as a non-human that affected his mental stability.'

'An anti-inhibitor.' Snape looked thoughtful, his goading expression giving way to a serious, introspective look. 'I will need to look in the Restricted section of the library. There may be something that has fallen from use that could be adapted. Meanwhile, these three jars contain essences which are used to extend other complex potions such as Veritaserum and the Draught of Fidelity.'

'What about tortoiseshell? Can't that be used in the Polyjuice potion to extend its life?'

'The usual extenders are ineffective in the more advanced potions. Wolfsbane is a particularly advanced potion and requires a great deal of skill to brew.' He was not boasting, simply stating a fact. 'I have very little of the most likely candidate, lichensis. If you wish to work on a potion which makes use of these ingredients then you will need to harvest some more. These are very small reserves from my private supply.'

'Where do you find it?'

He tapped his foot, not speaking. Eventually he replied, 'We will need to collect some from a particular rock formation near the sea shore. We will go this weekend and replenish my stores.'

-

'Turn left,' shouted Snape over the noise of the buffeting winds. Lily steered her broomstick with difficulty away from the line of the river and towards the headland. She followed his dark cloaked figure as it veered away, making for the craggy summit of the cliffs, far above the white water foaming where it passed over the rocks below. Lily swept down, battered by the gusts that threatened to dash her into splinters against the cliff face. They rounded the curve of a rocky outcrop and found Snape's destination, a clearing near the top of the cliffs where a landslide had exposed shallow caves, little more than semicircular scoops out of the brown rock layers. Snape made a satisfied noise under his breath as the stepped off his broomstick, striding toward the jagged and crumbling walls, scraping at the grey lichen clinging to the face. 'Bring the jars.'

Lily lifted a dark glass jar out of her pack, unscrewing the top and handing it over. She also passed him a trowel-shaped knife, which he accepted with a nod.

It didn't take long to fill the pots; in such an inaccessible place, the lichen had spread freely and it was easy to remove. 'We're done.' Snape announced, replacing the pots in the satchel. He reached for his still-hovering broomstick, but Lily waved him away.

'I'm not going back yet. This is the first bit of total quiet I've had since I came to Hogwarts. Don't tell me you're that anxious to get back?' She slung the bag over her shoulder and brought her broomstick to her side, pushing her windblown hair out of her eyes. 'Besides, there's the most wonderful view from here. What's that tower down there?'

She pointed, and Snape, walking over, answered 'Hawk Tower.'

'So that must be the old Parkinson place. I hadn't realised we were so far over the river.'

'It's deceptive.' They walked slowly along the cliffs on the short, tough grass.

'Do you like teaching at Hogwarts?' Lily asked, not sure if she would get a straight answer.

Snape looked thoughtfully up at the sky. 'Against the odds, I do. Some of the students are very good. It is easiest to do research here.'

'And do you like Dumbledore?'

He looked down. 'Dumbledore vouched for me when the Dark Lord was alive. For that I am indebted.' They walked in silence for a few moments, until Lily asked,

'Severus...when did you turn from Voldemort?' He stopped walking, so that she had to turn back to face him.

'My father was a squib. Did you know that?' Mutely, she shook her head. Snape had never talked about his family - had never talked about anything personal. 'My mother was a witch, a good one. God knows what she saw in him, but she saw something. He always seemed to take her background as a personal insult, and he forbade her to use magic. When I was born, and I started to show signs of being a wizard, he decided that she had been teaching me, just to spite him. He - used to threaten her, and me. When the letter came from Hogwarts, evidently enough was enough, because he - gave me the most brutal beating. Mother tried to stop him, but he just flung her aside.' Snape spoke the words as if they were being dragged from him relentlessly. 'I left for Hogwarts immediately. School was better - although I was never popular like your beloved James or angelic Lupin with his dirty secret - but I only went home once more. In the Christmas holidays, I went back to see them. He told me to get out. I refused. He made me.' His face was hard, set, the sagging of middle age falling in dismal lines around his straight mouth.

'What about your mother?'

'I never saw her again. My father sent me a message to tell me that she was in St Mungo's, but by the time I got there, she was - gone. So I went back to school. By the time Newts came around, I had fallen into the Dark Arts. As I believe you suspected, though what you thought you could do to dissuade me, I do not know.' He practically spat the words.

She reached out her hand to his. Her fingers touched the knuckles, white where they gripped his wand, but he shook her off violently.

'I don't need your pity. I learned great things from the Dark Lord - terrible, but great - which I would never have known otherwise. I am one of the best potion-makers alive today.'

Lily's face must have shown a fleeting distaste for his vanity, because he barked a short laugh and started walking again. 'And why shouldn't I be proud of that knowledge? Believe me, it was hard-won.'

He clicked his fingers and his broomstick appeared at his heels. He mounted it and flew off in the direction of Hogwarts without a further word.

-

The low winter sun was dropping to the horizon. Lily and Lupin were sat on a fallen log, chatting about their students and the upcoming OWLs.

'Frankly, I'm not sure that Granville will make it through the tests. He's certainly capable enough, but he does have a tendency to forget everything he knows at the crucial point.'

'I'm sure he'll manage when the time comes.'

Lupin stretched out his legs in the last of the warm sunshine, abruptly sitting up straight again as the angle of the light showed the worn patches on his robes. 'What do you think about Barry?'

'Barry Trotter? Well, he's certainly very smart, but I don't know how he'll cope with the written tests. His practical is excellent.'

'His history isn't too bad, at least when his friends help him out. I gather he's thinking about trying for an Auror?'

'I think so. His Potions will be the problem if he does.'

'Well, do any of that year get good potions marks? Unless they're in Slytherin?'

Lily didn't answer him. Snape's well-known partiality for those of his House rankled in her, inexcusably partisan as it was.

'Are you still asking him for help with your potions studies?'

'Yes.' She sighed. 'He can be a bit - snappy - but it's just too useful to me to give up. He is very good at potions research.'

'So you enjoy your studies with him, then?'

Lupin's expression went unnoticed by Lily, who was looking at the whomping willow, whose long branches were flailing wildly at some birds who had been unwise enough to land amongst the leaves.

The birds rose in a flurry. 'Yes, it's really interesting. Some of the theories he has are quite brilliant.'

Lupin nodded morosely.

'I've got a couple of ideas about your potion that we're trying to work out.'

'Thanks.' Lupin said, with an irony unnoticed by Lily.

'It might make your change more bearable.'

'I'm glad you're so enthusiastic about spending time with him.'

Lily glanced at him and changed the subject. 'Have you noticed that all those birds avoid the lake now?' Lupin turned his head, surveying the great expanse of water and its small wooded islands.

'Perhaps it's to do with the season.'

'I'm not sure. I took a boatload of students out there a couple of weeks ago to look for grindylows. We didn't find any, but I did take a sample of bark from one of the trees on the large island. I found it the other day. I'd wrapped it in a leaf, but the leaf was full of holes, burned away like acid.'

'Odd.'

'Mmm.'

-

'A glass of pumpkin juice?'

'Yes, please.' Lily replied abstractedly, carefully measuring grains into beakers of wolfsbane potion at various strengths. Snape poured two glasses but held a small phial of blue liquid over one of the cups, allowing a few drops to swirl into the liquid. He gave the glass a couple of quick turns to mix it and offered it to Lily, who was oblivious to the addition.

'What are your conclusions?'

She looked up from her quick notations on the parchment next to her and accepted the glass. 'Thank you. You know, I think the smallest dose will be sufficient.' She drained her glass and circled a set of numbers with her quill pen. 'This is the most recent batch.'

'Time will tell.'

She laid down the pen. 'You know, we have been working very hard on this.'

'It is an interesting piece of research.' His voice was expressionless.

'Let's leave the potion for tonight, shall we?' Lily stretched slowly, sensuously. She took a step closer to him as he stood with studied nonchalance by the work bench. 'Poor Severus...you look so pale. Perhaps you're working too hard.'

She loosened the laces fastening her robes at the neck, and pulled the black folds over her head, dropping them on a nearby chair. 'Very hard, in fact. Don't you think you're due a night off?' She reached out and touched his shoulders, pressing the tight muscles there with slow, insistent movements. 'You feel tense,' she said in an undertone, pushing him gently in the direction of his bed. She stood opposite him, eyes half-closed, her hands on her hips. She came closer.

'Don't you ever get...lonely, Severus?' she whispered lazily, unbuttoning the front of her shirt with slow, measured movements. He noiselessly sat back on his bed with a half-smile, his hands behind his head. His eyes never left her face, his body strongly aware of the tiny movements of her hands, the widening gap in the front of her shirt.

'What do you get up to, hiding away in this dungeon?' She dropped her shirt. Snape was motionless. Her hands moved to the ties of her skirt. 'What is it you're looking for, Severus?' the dark fabric of the skirt was now a ripple on the floor at her feet. She walked towards him, her hands unwinding her hair from its clips. She knelt fluidly on the bed, very close to him, her hands on his chest, at the stiff collar of his jacket.

'I know what I'm looking for.'

She saw triumph in his eyes as she reached up to put her fingers to his set lips, just before she passed out.

He disentangled himself from her arms and looked down at her sprawled, sleeping form. With an amused expression, he idly drew the bed sheet over her and stretched out on the sofa with a smirk. As he pulled a blanket over him and closed his eyes, he heard Lily start to snore.

Lily was woken in the morning by the sound of Snape making coffee, clanging the long handled spoon mercilessly around the tiny cauldron. She jerked up in the bed as though lifted by strings, looking quickly around her, wrapping herself up in the bed sheet.

'What the hell am I doing here?' she demanded eventually. Her eyes bored into his back and he turned slowly, smirking, offering her a full cup. She groped for her wand, wanting to splatter the burning liquid all over him, but couldn't find it.

'You don't remember anything of your - ah - performance last night, then?'

'I-' Lily started heatedly, then stopped as memory oozed itself back into her brain. A vague image of herself - and Snape, sitting back with a smile - then falling onto the bed... She stood up, her jaw set. 'What the hell is going on?'

He looked at her, still with that sardonic half-smile, then turned back to the cauldron. 'I was simply experimenting with inhibition removers, as we discussed.'

Lily was silent for half a second as she realised what he was saying. Then she sprang at him, wand forgotten, balling up her fist and landing it on his jaw before he had time to react. The pain of it made her fall back, nursing her hand, whilst he pressed his own hand to his cheek, experimentally moving the jaw bone.

'So you don't approve of my testing methods?'

'That was not a nice thing you did.' She snapped back.

'You should listen to your friend Tonks more. I never claimed to be nice.'

'I also don't recall you stopping me.'

He raised his eyebrows. 'Why would I? We were testing a hypothesis. My potion appeared to be working.'

'And how much did you see?'

He said nothing but his smirk widened. She recalled his moment of weakness on the cliffs. He was punishing her for witnessing a break in his armour!

'You're despicable.'

'You want to help your friend Lupin, don't you? I don't suppose darling Lupin would have done that.'

'Of course I want to help him. He's my friend. We've always been friends.'

'Yes, you've always been...friendly.' His expressive voice slurred the words, mocking her.

'What does that mean?' she was now as hostile as she had ever been to him, on the defensive, the knuckles of the hand holding the sheet tight white with rage. 'Turn around. Now!' He did so, and she dropped the sheet, quickly dragging her robe over her head and lacing the front tight with short, angry movements.

'Nothing happened, if that's what you're thinking. Tell me, does it worry you that he turns into a wolf at night?' Snape's poisonous, lazy drawl was no less threatening without his piercing eye contact.

'What's it to you, anyway?' she lashed back. 'What do you care whether he and I are friendly or not? You can't bear him, can you?'

He turned slowly. 'Unfortunately, he has something I want.' His eyes burned into her, black and direct. He took a step towards her, hooking his fingers through the lacing at her neck. She looked at him levelly and pulled his fingers out of the ribbon loops one by one.

'I don't belong to anyone.' She turned on her heel, picked up her wand from the desk, and left, the door closing silently behind her.

After a minute, Snape strode over to the table with the new wolfsbane potion, picked up the little blue phial and emptied the lot into the beaker.