Viva, Las Vegas!

Viva, Las Vegas!

By fbline

Sunday, May 23rd, 2004. 10:45 A.M.

Dear Molly- Well, we've arrived. I'm glad the Ministry decided to have us all travel like Muggles. With security being so tight, I think this was the right thing to do. And it means that I get to fly on one of these aero planes! Americans seem to be an awful greedy bunch. Not only do you have to pay for your seat, but your food costs extra, as does the little hearing appliances they use to hear the movie. There always seems to be a hand out. Mundungus ended up spending half of his money on drinks before I could stop him. That Methadone spell doesn't seem to have worked very well. The flight was nothing compared to the airport, though. Molly, you should see all the fascinating machines they have here. When I first stepped off the aero plane, a thousand little noises assaulted my ears. The only thing I could compare it to would be if someone tried to break into Gringotts. I immediately went for my wand, but Perkins pointed out that the noises weren't any kind of alarm system at all, but the sound of all these machines dispensing money. From what I observed, Muggles put their currency into the machines, pull a little handle, little wheels spin on the machines, and they either receive money in return, or not. Sometimes, when they don't receive anything, the person uses profanity. I'm not sure if this has any bearing on the outcome or not, but people seem to do it a lot. Perkins had to finally drag me away to get our luggage. We are now waiting on something the Muggles call a "shuttle" to take us to our hotel. It's a place called "Caesars Palace," so I expect it will be some kind of old castle. I'll send another owl when I get there.

Love,

Arthur

Sunday, May 23rd, 2004. 1 P.M.

Dear Molly- Wow! This town is more fascinating than anything we have in the magical world. Muggles may be more advanced than we all thought. I would swear some of the things here are magical; they even have a lot of ads for magicians. They also have a lot of ads for places called "gentleman's clubs." They must be some kind of etiquette school. Mundungus seems keen on going to one. Perhaps he's turning his life around at last. Our driver dropped us off at our hotel and I was flabbergasted. It's not an old castle at all; it's a huge complex that makes the Ministry look like a hovel. And the people, my lord, I've never seen so many in my life. Inside, there were thousands more of the little machines, along with a bunch of long tables with more people playing cards and spinning wheels. A lot of them use a currency I'm unfamiliar with. Little red circles, green ones, black ones, and even purple ones. It all makes our galleons and sickles look quite normal. The room Perkins and I have is amazing. We're staying in a part of the complex called the "Palace Tower." From the room, I can see the multitude of flashing signs along "the strip," as they call it. In the distance, I can see the huge mountains and the desert. I wish you were here with me. They have something here called the "Forum Shops," with all sorts of stores in it. Our first seminar isn't until tomorrow, so a group of us are going out exploring. I'll write more soon.

Love,

Arthur

Sunday, May 23rd, 2004. 8:35 P.M.

Dear Molly- You won't believe what's happened! We've spotted Bagman! A group of us went downtown to watch something called the "World Series of Poker," and there he was. We would have caught him, but the moment we made our move somebody yelled something about someone named Tobey Maguire, and he managed to escape. It was bedlam after that. I don't know who this Tobey person is, but people seemed to treat him like a superhero. Kingsley and Tonks are out looking for Bagman, but it doesn't look good. There are just too many places for him to hide. Also, people here must not like it when you tell them you're tired. I was standing over by one of the tables they had set up when I told Perkins that I was all in. This seemed to cause a commotion and I was asked to get away from the tables. I'm currently back here in the room trying to figure out how to work something in the bathroom called a "Jacuzzi." It looks like a regular tub, but it has little holes in it. No wonder they have a water shortage out here, this thing is huge. I'll write more in the morning. Goodnight, dear.

Love,

Arthur

Monday, May 24th, 2004. 6:55 A.M.

Dear Molly- Good morning! I finally found out how to work the Jacuzzi! It's lovely, makes the water go all swishy. It was a great help for my lumbago. We must see if we can get one for the Burrow. One thing of note, my lips seem to be falling off. Perkins tells me it's because it's so dry out here. I saw on the Muggle news that the humidity was only eight percent. Imagine that! For breakfast, we are all going to something here called a "buffet." It sounds quite interesting. Well, Molly, you wouldn't believe it! The feasts at Hogwarts have nothing on the buffet. Smoked salmon, steak, ice cream, it's all here! I didn't see any house elves, but I can't imagine how else they could do it all. I think I may have eaten too much, but I've been told that occurs a lot out here. I'll write again later.

Love,

Arthur

Monday, May 24th, 2004. 10 P.M.

Dear Molly- Well, the seminar was very boring, but that was to be expected. Neil Gaiman, headmaster of the Salem school here in America, did give an interesting speech on the need to improve relations with The Sleep Realm, but everything after that was a real snooze. I couldn't even get myself to pay attention to Percy trying to get the Americans to import our cauldrons. They just don't seem to care about the thickness like he does. After the meetings, a group of us went back downtown to a place called "Magnolia's" and had Prime Rib for less than seven dollars! I don't know how these places stay open with such low prices. Mundungus assured me that they have ways of making the money back, though. So, I'm off to bed. I'll write again in the morning. Sweet dreams, dear.

Love,

Arthur

Tuesday, May 25th, 2004. 9:45 A.M.

Dear Molly- I'm going to need bigger robes if I stay out here much longer. We decided to go next door to a place called the "Bellagio" for breakfast this morning. I could have never imagined anything as grand as the buffet here at Caesars, but the one there was even greater! I've eaten so much that I'm not sure I can make today's seminar. Perkins has suggested something the Muggles call "Elka Seltzer." I'll write more later.

Love,

Arthur

Friday, May 26th, 2004. 11A.M.

Dear Molly- I am so sorry that I haven't written in so long. I have to ask you something very important. PLEASE SEND MONEY!!! I've sold my aero plane ticket after some bad luck I had at the machines. I know, I know, I've always said not to trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain, but I couldn't help myself. There are so many different kinds of them! Some have three little wheels, some have four, and some even let you interact with them when certain things come up on the screen. I've been a fool, but I couldn't stop myself. There are more problems too. Tonks and Kingsley finally turned up. They didn't catch Bagman, but they did end up getting married! There's a picture of them posing with someone calling himself Reverend Elvis. They don't remember even doing it! I've got another confession to make; I have had impure thoughts about another woman...well...several women, to be exact. It wasn't my fault, though! After our last meeting yesterday, Mundungus asked me if I fancied going to a place called a "chicken ranch." You know my fondness for Muggle things, so I agreed. I asked him if he thought they would let me pluck one, and he said that if I had the money, I could pluck as many as I wanted. It wasn't long after we got there that I realized this wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be. There were no chickens at all! Instead, it was a small little place full of women in various states of undress! Mundungus went off with one of them and was gone for several hours. I would have immediately left, but I didn't want to appear rude. After a few hours, I finally made it out of there. I was absolutely disgusted, it was shortly after that I sold my ticket. Molly, I am never coming here again. They have a saying here, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." I certainly hope they are right. I'll be home soon.

Love,

Arthur