Sleep Instead of Teardrops

Sleep Instead of Teardrops

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I knew you were different when I first met you on the train at the beginning of term. Of course, I already knew who you were, Cho mentioned you quite a bit last year. "Harry" this and "Harry" that. I think most of her friends got tired of hearing about you. They all talked freely around me, being thought of as a loony causes people to over look you. I get all my best information that way. Daddy says that's how he gets such good stories for The Quibbler. Hearing her talk about you didn't really do you justice though. Sure, she made you out to be brave and courageous and all that, but I never got the idea from her that she really knew anything about the real you. I never heard her mention what your favorite color was, what's your favorite food, or anything personal like that. I doubt she even knows what your owl's name is. I thought that was rather odd for someone who professed to care about you so much, so I guess I thought of you as a sort of one dimensional character. When I saw you interact with your friends though, I came to the realization that there was much more to you than that. I was fascinated really, I'd never met anyone so young and yet so...experienced, with life.

I think it was fate that threw us all together that day. How else could you explain the mixture of us all? Sure, the famous trio could be expected, and I know that Ginny is Ron's sister, but I could tell that Neville was rather out of his element, and you can't tell me you were thrilled with my being there. I knew I could help though, that's why I wanted to go with you all. When those Death Eaters confunded Ron and Ginny had a broken ankle, it was I that protected them, just as you were protecting Neville and Hermione. If only I wouldn't have gotten hit by that stunning hex while I was sealing the doors! I must admit I'd had visions of the two of us fighting against the odds, our backs to one another. It would have made an excellent story for daddy. Instead, I spent most of the battle out cold; slumped next to Hermione and Ginny. Just before I passed out, I saw you running out the door. I knew what you were doing, drawing away the attention of all those Death Eaters. It was very brave of you, and probably saved all our lives.

Cry

Cry out your eyes forever

It won't go away

I

I'm just a dumb observer

It's so stupid what I say

The next thing I knew, Professor Dumbledore had enervated me. It was such an odd scene to wake up to. Ginny had one arm around Professor Lupin, and the other around Neville, who looked as if he'd had his nose broken. A woman with pink hair, who I was later told went by the name of "Tonks", was levitating Hermione ahead of her. She seemed to be the worst hurt. Ron looked like he had gotten hurt as well, but he refused anyone's help. He seemed quite distracted about something and after a moment or two I realized what it was; you were gone. I don't know when Fudge got there. He seemed to want to talk to Professor Dumbledore about something, but Dumbledore said he had to make sure the rest of us were safe first. I assumed this meant that the battle was over, but I still didn't know if we had won or lost, or what had happened to you.

Professor Dumbledore went off with Fudge when we had all made it back to the main floor of the Ministry. No one had yet said what had happened to you, and when the lift doors opened, I thought I would pass out again. The fountain that had stood in the center of the floor was in shambles. Apparently it had been destroyed somehow and nobody had thought to cast Reparo yet. I couldn't imagine what could have been powerful enough to destroy such a large and heavy fountain, and what if it had something to do with your disappearance? I wasn't the only one who was disconcerted, Ron and Ginny demanded to know what had happened to you. Professor Lupin promised to explain it all to us when we were safely back at Hogwarts. He and Professor Moody came back with us. They said that Tonks needed to go to St. Mungo's, so I took over levitating Hermione. We used one of the Ministry floos and came back to Hogwarts hospital wing. It was quite late, but Madam Pomfrey seemed to have been expecting us. She forced Ron into one bed, while I put Hermione in another. The rest of us all collapsed into chairs. Professor Lupin then set about explaining what had happened after you left us. It was morning by the time he finished the story. Neville and Ginny fell asleep, leaning against each other for support. I stayed awake though. I couldn't sleep until I knew you were safe.

Like everyone else will do

I'm going to lie to you

Tell you that life is cruel but

Someday you're going to wake up

With sleep instead of teardrops in your eyes

Professor Dumbledore told us all not to bother you for information. He said that you had been through a terrible ordeal, and that you had lost someone very close to you. I knew at once how you felt. I didn't know who it was at the time; I only knew that Professor Lupin had told us that there had been a casualty in the battle. I must admit I didn't pay much attention at the time, we had already been told that you were safe, and that had been my primary concern. I knew it must be someone important though, Ron and Hermione seemed to take the news rather hard when Professor Lupin had told them in private. I could tell afterwards that they had all been crying. It was when Hermione said she was concerned at how you would take it that I first took notice. It was obviously someone you cared a great deal about, and for some unknown reason, I found that I cared as well.

I asked Ginny about it when we were leaving the hospital wing. She told me all about how, two years ago, Sirius had escaped from Azkaban and was considered a mass murderer that was out to kill you. She told me that, in truth, he was innocent and had been searching for the real killer of your parents. Sirius had been unsuccessful and had to escape from the Ministry, thanks to the help of Harry and Hermione. Sirius told you that night that he was your godfather, and from that day on you looked to him as a sort of surrogate father. Now you had lost your parents and him both. I couldn't help but think of what it would be like to lose my father as well. I couldn't bear the thought of it. No boggart could conjure up a greater fear in me. It was at that moment that I gained an even greater admiration for you. How could you bear all these things, and yet remain so compassionate for others? And how could Cho, or anyone else, not want you in their hearts? I was happy to know that you were now in mine.

And so

Nobody lives forever

The crassest of clichés

Like time

Time is the greatest healer

But it's a murderer today

It was hard concentrating on the end of the year exams after all that. It wasn't that I needed more time to study, I could have passed all the O.W.L.S. during my first year, but I kept finding my mind wandering back to that night, and about you. You were acting so distant now. I had been told that this was how you handled your anger that you bottled everything up and withdrew into your own world. Ginny told me not to bother you, and that you would come around in your own time. Yet another thing we have in common. When my mother died, my father was so worried about me. He tried to buy me things, I didn't want them. He tried to get me to talk to someone, I had nothing to say. Eventually, he left me be and I was able to heal in my own time. I knew that this was what you were doing too. A caterpillar must spend it's time in the cocoon before it can emerge as a butterfly. My mother used to tell me that. I guess I know now what she meant.

I've gotten used to the end of term pranks by now. I didn't expect this year to be any different. All the other girls think they're so clever, hiding my stuff from me. And they wonder why I don't have anything nice to wear? I bet if someone knicked all Cho's push-up bras she's think twice about bringing them. I don't know who she's trying to fool anyway; you have to have something to push up for those to work. They'd never taken everything from me before though. I expect Cho's angry with me for spending so much time with you. Well, hard cheese for them. It's not my fault that she has intimacy issues.

Like everyone else will do

I'm going to lie to you

Tell you that life is cruel but

Someday you're going to wake up

With sleep instead of teardrops in your eyes

I certainly never expected to meet up with you at the bulletin board that day. I had wanted to talk to you though. I knew that you were having a hard time since that night at the Ministry, but I also knew that you needed some time to work things out for yourself. In that regard, I think I know you better than anyone, maybe even better than you know yourself. I could tell you didn't really want to talk to anyone, but I knew I could help you out. You were so sweet to me. I told you about the girls taking my stuff, and you even volunteered to help me look for it all. I could tell you weren't just saying it either; you really did want to help me. Even after everything that you've been through, you still felt the need to help me. Ginny had told me that you still wouldn't talk about what had happened. I understood how you felt; I hadn't talked about my mother with anyone else either. We both opened up to each other at that moment. I knew that you had heard the voices beyond the veil, the ones that the others couldn't; except me. I know you don't realize what that means, but you will, and I'll be there when you do.

I did manage to get my possessions back. You'd be happy to hear that. The only thing I never got back was a balaclava. Ginny told me she had seen Marietta wearing one very similar to it on the train back from Hogwarts. I should really be mad that she stole it, but possessions don't matter that much to me. And it probably came in handy for her, since Hermione's hex won't have worn off yet. Yes, it's a shame that Cho couldn't have been the one to have snitched on us. She could do with keeping her mouth shut for a while.

You know my holding you won't change

Anything

I can't stop this whole charade

Continuing

As each consoling kiss remains

On your face

Like a stain

I wish you could be here in Sweden with me. Daddy spends most of his time out hunting the Crumple Horned Snorkack and getting stories for The Quibbler. I'm having a good time, but it would be nice to have someone me own age around for a change. I never really had that until last year, and I think I grew to rather enjoy it. I always had a hard time associating with people my own age; they always focused on immature things. The three of you were different. I didn't always see eye to eye with Hermione, but her intelligence was refreshing none the less. Ron was a bit of a goof, but very sweet, and very loyal to you. The best part of last year though, was getting to know you. I've never met anyone like you before, and I've certainly never felt this way about someone before. It breaks my heart to know that there's such a great sadness in your life. I don't know how you manage to life through it all. I wish I could be the one to help you with it, and I would if you'd let me.

Sixth year will be starting up soon. I've decided to take some better clothes with me this year, in the off chance that I get to spend some more time with you. I've put a charm on some of the nicer dresses. If any of the other girls try to steal on of them, their butt will swell to ten times its normal size. Not that Cho would be affected; zero times ten is still zero. Her friend Marietta wouldn't be able to get through the Great Hall though. I hope you've had a good summer. I can't wait to see you again. I hope we can pick up where we left off that night at the bulletin board. I know that we could help each other to put our troubled pasts behind us. Once our pasts have been sorted, I know that we could start to build a beautiful future together.

So cry

Cry out those tears and let them

Succumb to gravity

And try

Try as I might I'll never

Fill that vacancy

Like everyone else will do

I'm going to lie to you

Tell you that life is cruel but

Someday you're going to wake up

With sleep instead of teardrops in your eyes

Someday you're going to wake up

With sleep instead of teardrops in your eyes