Bimbo in the Limo

Bimbo in the Limo

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"Slow down, driver! I want everyone to be able to see me!"

Damn straight I do. It's not everyday that a bloke gets his own show on Wizard Digital. I can't wait until all those bastards see me in Hogsmeade. I'll have to hand it to those Muggles, these limousines are great! My entire bloody family could life in here. God, I don't want to think about that. I didn't just spend all those galleons at the Hogshead to think about them some more. Well, that was stuff for the old Percy Weasley to think about. The new Percy Weasley only worries about getting paid, getting bitches, and issuing stitches!

I bet they all had a good laugh when they heard I had been fired from my Ministry job, bunch of bloody tossers. And that absolute shitty article Fudge, promoting dad because he was so embarrassed about screwing the pooch on the whole Voldemort situation. I couldn't have worked under dad anyway; it would constantly remind me of all the things that have gone wrong for me in my life. And then he had the nerve to tell me that all was forgiven, and that I should come back home! As if! My future is so hot; I have to wear dragon hide gloves! I always did think that my obvious charismatic powers were being wasted at the Ministry. When they approached me about my own show, well, it was like I was finally getting what I deserved. Pretty soon, the whole world is going to know the name Percy Weasley!

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

I keep the mirrored windows down so everyone can see

I'm terminally wankered with a poodle on my knee

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

Cocaine crusted around my nostrils like a sad celebrity

I'm a worthless little nobody from Digital TV

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

Even my bone idle youngest brother is better known than I am. Just because he hangs around with that git with the silver spoon up his arse Potter. Ok, so you were telling the truth all along, get over yourself! Oh, but anything the famous trio wants, the trio gets. Well, fuck them. I'm going to go get mine now. I'm going to spend galleons like it was leprechaun gold. I've had it with having everything handed down to me; I'm going to have the best of everything now; the best drugs, the best booze, the best women, everything. I'm going to be the world's next Gilderoy Lockhart!

Hi everybody, I'm your friend

Have you seen my panel game?

"Guess My Arsehole," 4AM

"Take it easy, ladies. There's enough of big papa to go around."

Yeah, this is the life. I bet Penelope is eating her heart out now, skanky bitch. Well, that just makes things better for me. As long as I keep the fire whiskey flowing, these girls all look like perfect tens. I assume I paid the bill back at the Hogshead, I don't really even remember leaving. Oh well, no time to think, only time to drink! I always wonder how Muggles entertained themselves without magic. I had no idea that their knowledge of chemicals helped out so much. I haven't seen so many different colors since I made the mistake of goosing Hagrid back in seventh year. Man, I didn't wake up for three days after that one. Ah, good times.

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

I've been cruising around the block all day so all my

Friends can see

I've got seven hookers rammed in here fucked

Up on ecstasy

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

"Is it Norwich?"

Christ on a cracker, it's the famous trio themselves! They must be getting some stuff for the new school year. Let's see, it's Ron's sixth year this year. I wish I could go back to my sixth year. I'd do so many things differently. Wait, no, I'm not thinking about this! I'm famous now! I'll show them.

"Driver, stop the fucking car!" How do I get the sun roof open? "Excuse me, ladies."

"Hey! Ron! Harry! Hermione! Look at me! I'm famous too, you great pillocks! I bet you all wish you were me! Ha! Sit and Spin you bunch of fucking wankers!" And, with that, I give them both of my middle fingers and flop back down into the love nest.

"That'll teach them. I hope Ron goes and tells mum how well I'm doing." Maybe she'll finally stop sending me those god-awful sweaters. I'm still using last year's as a bath mat.

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

With my pants around my knees I'm hanging way

Out of my tree

And everybody's looking and I know they can't believe

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

Ha, they should have seen the looks on their faces! I haven't seen someone that shocked since I told Malfoy that I wasn't gay. I don't know where he got that idea from anyway. A lot of guys make their own pot pourri. And all those posters of Becks are purely because of my love of football. Yeah, I bet they'd give anything to be in here with me. Well, maybe not Hermione. Although, I might be willing to empty out the limo to give her a private ride, if you know what I mean...and I suppose I do, since I'm talking to myself.

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

I've got Sabbath on the stereo and smut on the TV

The fridge is full of lager and I'm pissing on the seats

There's a bimbo in he limo and the bimbo is me

Hi everybody, I'm your friend have you seen my

Panel game

"Guess My Arsehole", 4AM

"Driver, get us out of here. Take us back to my place. Let's stop by Knockturn Alley on the way, I think we're going to need more partying supplies."

Damn those three! I'm back to thinking about my family again. What a buzz kill. I didn't pay for eight hours with these girls to be all mopey around them.

"Hey, girls, let's see if we can build that pyramid again." Ah, that's the ticket. Who needs family when you've got friends like me?

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

Cocaine crusted around my nostrils like a sad celebrity

I'm a worthless little nobody from Digital TV

There's a bimbo in the limo and the bimbo is me

Bimbo

Limo

Bimbo

Me

"Is it King Kong?"