Sapient Stars

Disclaimer: This fic is sort of a songfic, so the lyrics are from 'The Ghost of You' by My Chemical Romance. This fic is an AU.

Author's Notes: Just wanted to thank my awesome beta, Obstinate Mule. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Also, this fic is finished, so my updating should be pretty quick. Enjoy!

"This is it," Draco said to himself. It was a clear December night. The icy wind tore through his clothes, and constantly blew his silver-blonde hair across his face. As he tilted his head back to clear his view, he paused to look once more at the ill-fated stars. He had been looking at these same stars just one year before, cursing their twist of fate. They had given him the one thing that was never meant for him, and had taken it away too soon. Her.

I never said I'd lie and wait forever

"What did you expect?" Draco cried out to the stars. They gazed back at him, unresponsive as he looked back down at his feet. He could not bear his situation anymore. That was what brought him to the place where they had their wedding. Somehow, standing in front of the beautiful abbey made him feel closer to her.

Cistercian monks had named the church, Dulce Cor or Sweetheart Abbey, after Lady Devorgilla and her husband John Balliol. The Lady dedicated the abbey in memory of her late husband, and the unfading love that they shared.

Exquisite carvings were etched throughout the church, and grand arcades were elevated high above the ground. The abbey was made entirely of red sandstone, which despite Narcissa's protests, stayed that way and were not charmed green. His mum had wanted them to be married at the lavish Dundas castle, but Draco didn't care. He would marry her in the broom shed at the Burrow if she wanted.

They were married on Valentine's day at sunset just when the stars were about to come out. Draco thought it was a very unoriginal date to be married on, but she insisted relentlessly as she always did, and he gave in as he always did. She wanted to be married in the most romantic place in Scotland on the most romantic night of the year.

This thought pained him as he pressed his palms to his face. Nothing could be worse than this. He remembered every second he was with her, and that is why he decided to make it stop.

If I died, we'd be together

Draco walked through the doors of the abbey, and looked around thoughtfully. He walked down the aisle she had walked down, following her dusty footsteps. He remembered that she had been looking at him with not so much as a smile, but with complete, unwavering love. Draco suddenly stopped and leaned against one of the cold stone walls as the memory of his wedding took over his vision.

There she was, her scarlet hair clashing magnificently with her too white dress. Their friends and families had resorted from tearing each other apart for that one day, as per their request, and had stood along the sides of the aisle commenting on how beautiful she looked.
The entire abbey had been laced from top to bottom with Pink Nostalgia roses. She saw them while they were walking around London one night, and immediately fell in love with them. The outlying petals were red that faded to pink, and the heart of the rose was white. She said that the roses seemed to personify their relationship. Draco thought she was just being a sappy woman, but eventually, he grew to like them as much as she did.

Draco unknowingly, found himself walking to where he stood that day, waiting for her. He turned to look at the place that was once crowded with people, draped with roses, and overflowing with absolute happiness, only to find insufferable nothingness staring back at him.

"I can't take this anymore! How am I supposed to?" he yelled into the wind, then sank to the ground. He couldn't restrain his tears anymore. Draco longed for her, or anything that ever had anything to do with her. Hell, he would even welcome Ron's company right now.

I can't always just forget her

All he wanted to do was forget, but at the same time he cursed himself for thinking that he did. Draco could never erase her from his mind when he awoke each day with her face behind his tightly closed eyes. She was always smiling at him, and he would always try to reach her, but her face would fade just before he could touch her.

That sight that he sees every day always brings him back to the memory of the night he had lost his reason to be blind. To be with her he had to be incoherent to everyone else, and therefore thought himself to be blind.

They were from completely opposite worlds. Her family was involved in the Order, and his involved with the Death Eaters. Both of their families and their friends hated each other, so Draco did the only thing he could do, ignore them. He remembered the particular night that he had told her this. She had thought it was funny.

"Don't you care what they'll say?" she asked as they were lying on a velvet blanket under their sapient stars.

"No. I'm blind to everyone else. Besides, since when do I care about what other people think?" Draco said as he trailed his finger along her cheek.

"Since never. Except, I didn't think you were blind. Especially when I caught you looking down my shirt earlier," she teased sarcastically.

His sarcasm had worn off on her, and she knew it as she smirked up at him. They had been through so much, and had to sacrifice a lot to be with each other, but it didn't matter. He was purposely oblivious to everyone else except her. All that mattered was her. . . .

But she could try

"Give me a sign! Anything, please -" he screamed, and broke off into convulsive sobs. There would be no sign. Ever. He had accepted this and tried to live with it, but he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't live without her, without her smile, without her laughter. . . . Oh, her laughter. It was infectious, and was one of the best things about her. No matter how many times he angered her, which was often, he could always get her to laugh. She wouldn't forget that she was mad at him, but it reminded her of why she loved him, for being difficult.

Nothing about their relationship was easy. From the start to the finish it was hard on them and everyone else. After they got over their adamant dislike for each other, and their obstinance, which was no easy task, they were crazy about each other. Draco fell harder for her than he would have admitted then, but wouldn't ever deny if now.

She couldn't resist him, and being as compassionate as she was, made it her personal mission to change him for the better. Draco almost broke it off with her several times because of this, but she was very persistent and actually made him question what he believed. He hated the fact that everyone was always trying to control his life, but she said that she wasn't trying to do that. She only wanted to make him see that he didn't need anyone telling him what to do or to think. She quickly added that she definitely didn't want the job anyway.

Nothing could separate them after that. Even when she was still at Hogwarts and he had already graduated, they met whenever she was not in class. Draco would often stay in Hogsmeade, and she would stay with him into the early hours of the morning. This, nevertheless, affected her school work, so they decided to have their trysts less often.

Draco hated that they couldn't see each other, so they wrote each other almost every day. The letters were well worn and tear stained now, but he carried them with him wherever he went. He was barely able to deal with her not being with him then, and was at his wit's end about it now.

At the end of the world

He remembered that bittersweet day unfortunately better than most, and tried to put it in the farthest corner of his mind. Yet at the very mention of her name, or the color of her hair, or anything even closely related to her, his reality would collapse. In fact, anything remotely comparable to her would make that ruinous memory come flooding back to him.

Or the last thing I see

The last battle was at Hogwarts. The castle's aura seemed to deviate from its usual warmth and liveliness. Now the halls were mostly empty and quiet, and the only voices heard were always hushed and urgent. It seemed colder throughout the castle, and had since Dumbledore died despite the myriad of fireplaces. The students were long gone from the school, and it had served as the stronghold for their side.

The Ministry of Magic had been taken early after Draco's graduation, so every unwounded Auror stood at the school for the last battle. On that apocalyptic December night, Draco stood in front of the massive doors of Hogwarts surrounded by a throng of wizards. Aurors and friends flanked Harry, and Draco was one of them, not a friend exactly, but an ally. She stood next to Draco, gripping his hand tightly. Ron was next to her, doing the same thing. In fact, all of the Weasleys were there.

The remaining ones, that is.

You are
Never coming home

Bill had gone first. It had been on a full moon when Fleur received a letter from her husband, telling her to release him during a small battle. After a difficult argument with herself, she reluctantly agreed. He was in his werewolf form, and she deeply regretted not getting to kiss him one last time. That night he did not come back from the battle and the family was devastated.

However, Bill did do a great amount of damage before six Death Eaters took him down. A ceremony was held in his honor, and Cornelius Fudge awarded Fleur with Merlin's Medal of Valor for her husband's courageous sacrifice. Draco remembered that she had been very upset after Bill's death since he didn't disapprove of their relationship unlike the rest of her family. Bill said that if she was happy, he would be happy for her.

Fleur stood next to Molly on Draco's other side in front of Hogwarts, and she was livid with anger. If anger is what you would call frustration, regret, pain, anguish, torment, and vengeance rolled into one. Never anger a veela.

Never coming home

George had gone next. Being his foolhardy self, he thought he would help the Order by becoming a scout. He watched the Death Eaters and related their movements back to the Order. They knew about what he was doing, of course, and toyed with his presence for some time.
Draco was there when the Weasleys got the ill fortuned news. Lupin came by floo and announced that George had been killed in the battle at St. Mungo's Hospital. George was supposed to warn the Aurors inside the hospital when the Death Eaters had appeared, but he was taken by surprise. Upon hearing the news, Molly fell to the floor, Arthur looked thunderstruck, Ron punched through a window, Charlie tended to Molly, Fred started screaming at Lupin, Harry silently walked outside, and she broke into hysterical wails.

It was the most heart-rendering experience of Draco's life, and that was saying a lot since everyone thought that Draco Malfoy had no heart. For anyone who needed proof, they had it after that day. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her, trying to slow her trembling. She embraced him painfully, sinking her nails into his arms, while screaming "No," over and over through her sobs.

He sat her down in a chair, and she pointed at Hermione who was facing a window, shaking. Draco went to her without a second thought, and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him in utter surprise as he squeezed her shoulder gently and gave a reassuring nod. Suddenly, Hermione broke down, crying so hard that she fainted. Draco caught her and carried her to the couch in the living room, where Molly rushed in and fawned over her.
Draco remembered the look on Mrs. Weasley's face. It was what the troubled couple had wanted for so long, acceptance, among other things. That look spoke volumes, and it meant that she finally understood that he wasn't going anywhere, and that he wasn't the person everyone thought he was.

Overall, the battle took less than twenty minutes. Suddenly, Draco saw countless green flashes tear through the air simultaneously. Many of his allies dropped to the ground, and he immediately looked up to scan the lawn for her, or rather, for her hair. It could have been any of the Weasleys that he could have spotted, but he knew how to distinguish between her and the others now.

He saw her on the other side of the lawn, fighting relentlessly with a masked man. The overwhelming impulse to protect her swept over him, and suddenly he was running to her. Ignoring the battle around him - leaping over body after body - throwing curses at any Death Eater in his way - struggling to find his breath - he finally reached her. He cast the Avada Kedavra at her attacker, and flung himself on her, pushing her toward the ground. Draco didn't know that there was an unforeseen flaw in his plan. A curse struck her in the back on the way to the ground.

Could I? Should I?

"Of course I could. I'm not afraid of death, not when it would bring me back to her." The voice in the back of his mind told him that she wouldn't want this, but he had listened to it long enough. He walked up the stairs of the central tower and thought about the first time she had brought him there.

It was seven months before their wedding when she had walked into the library at the Malfoy Manor where Draco was looking over invitations with his mother. She said that he had to come with her because she had a surprise for him. Narcissa shook her head and waved him off, muttering something about never getting the wedding planned in time if they didn't stop disappearing all the time.

We're practically newlyweds, what does she expect? Draco had thought, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

They had Apparated just outside the quaint village of New Abbey. The village was picturesque and absolutely dripped with charm. The shops scattered throughout the town had graceful decor, and the town seemed so untouched by modern society that Draco understood why she liked the place so much.

She said this wasn't the best part as they walked out of the cozy village. When they were out of eyeshot of the village they Apparated again. Draco found himself in the middle of a cemetery looking up at a magnificent abbey.

"What is this place?" he asked, stunned by the abbey's sheer size.
"Dulce Cor."

"Dulce who?"

"It means Sweetheart Abbey."

"Oh . . . and why have you brought me here?" Draco asked, and she silently took his arm and led him through the front doors.

Once inside, he didn't know what to think. It was very old, but absolutely stunning. The architecture was done in Early English, and it looked like it had seen a fire or two, but otherwise was still in good condition. The huge east window had impressive stonework, and the whole setting was overly warm and romantic.

"What do you think?" she asked, still holding on to his arm and looking up at him sweetly.

"It's all right," he lied.

"All right? All right? It's amazing! Oh, I can't believe you -" she said as he silenced her with an impassioned kiss, encircling her with his arms.

"It's beautiful," he whispered against her lips, and he felt her smile.

"Good, because it's where we're getting married," she said as she pulled away slightly with a playful smirk splayed across her face.

"But it's practically falling down. My mum will have a fit. You know she was set on Dundas Castle," he said as he stoked her hands gently.

"I know . . . but this is what I want," she said wistfully as she looked around the abbey. He couldn't say no.

"Okay."

"Really?" she said and her face lit up again.

"Of course. It doesn't matter what my mum wants. It's our wedding."

"Oh, Draco," she said as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

He paused on the stairwell and sighed again. Her memory would never escape him. Was he bound to walk this earth without her thinking endlessly of their time together? He came out onto the roof of the tower, and looked at the spectacular view around him. The abbey was set in the middle of a rich green valley with sizeable granite mountains lying along the outskirts. The stars appeared to shine brilliantly here, unlike from the manor where they seemed blurred.
"Do you want to know why it's called Sweetheart Abbey?" she asked as they sat on the tower over looking the valley.

"Of course," he said and she leaned against him.

"Well, they say that Lady Devorgilla signed a charter founding a new Cistercian abbey here in memory of her late husband. She loved him so much that after he died, she carried his embalmed heart in an ivory box around with her everywhere she went."

"Eww. And you want to marry me in a place that a mad woman founded - Ouch, what was that for?" Draco asked as he rubbed his arm.

"She was not a mad woman. She just loved him so much that she couldn't let him go."

"Still, it is a little strange. I mean, who would carry their lover's heart around with them?" Draco said, and he knew he was asking for it.

"Someone in love, that's who, you prat!"

"Would you carry my heart around with you if I died - Ow! Hey, stop hitting me."

"Don't say that. You're not going to die anytime soon. But no, I don't think I would. It is a bit strange."

"That's understating it a bit."

"Anyway, in tribute to them, the Cistercian monks named it the Sweetheart Abbey to honor their love and devotion to each other," she paused to looked at Draco, who seemed less enthusiastic than she. "Well, I thought it was romantic."

"It is. This place is breathtaking, and if you love it, so do I," he said as he pulled her close, and kissed her lightly on her forehead. She leaned against his shoulder as they looked out at the peaceful scenery around them feeling more than content.

They had many more serene nights like this before the battle, but he wished desperately they had more.

And all the things that you never ever told me

As they fell to the ground, Draco pointed his wand at the Death Eater and screamed the Killing Curse. He looked back at her as he heard the thud of the Death Eater hitting the ground. Tears were silently falling from her eyes, and she was grasping onto his robes tightly.

"Are you okay?"

"I . . . I think so," she said with a reassuring smile.
"Did you hear what spell he cast at you?"
"No, I didn't. I'm sure I'll be all right though," she said. He tried to pick her up, but she let out a painful moan, and he lowered her back to the ground.

"You're not okay! Merlin, now I wish that I knew some healing magic. Can you heal yourself?" Draco said with worry washing over his mercurial eyes.

"No. I think I'm too weak, and I don't know where my wand got to," she said.

"Okay, stay right here and I'll go get help."

"No! Don't leave me, Draco. I . . . I -" she started to say when she broke off into quiet weeping.

"Shh. You'll be fine, love, but I need to find someone to heal you. It'll be okay, I promise," he said as he stroked her hair lightly.

"Okay, hurry back," she said and he started to get up, but she pulled him back to her, "Draco?"

"Yes, love?"

"I love you . . . so much," she said as she started to cry again.

He kissed her forehead and trailed kisses down to her lips. With the thought that he could be losing her filling his mind, he kissed her more deeply than he ever had, then pulled back to look at her.

"I love you too. Always will. I'll be right back."

Draco looked around as he got to his feet and tried to spot anyone whom he though knew about healing magic. He saw Hermione fighting not too far away and decided she was his best bet. Draco looked back down at his wife and smiled. After she managed to smile back, he took off toward Hermione.

Running as fast as he possibly could, and dodging a few spells that came his way, he quickly reached her. He came up behind the Death Eater with whom she was fighting and killed him.

"Draco! What is it?" Hermione yelled loud enough for him to hear her. Over the shrieks of pain and general chaos from the battle, everyone had to scream to talk to each other.

"It's . . . it's. . . . She was hit with a spell of some sort. We don't know which one. Please come help!" Draco said, and without waiting for her reply grabbed her arm, and pulled her toward his injured wife.

She was breathing unevenly when they reached her. Hermione got down on her knees to try to help her, and Draco went and sat down, taking his wife's hand. After several spells Hermione was dumbfounded. She looked at Draco and shook her head slightly.

"What? What do you mean? You're supposed to have one of the most brilliant minds in Britain, and you're telling me that you can't heal her?" Draco screamed, letting his frustration and anger show.

"I . . . I just don't know what to do. I have no idea what she was hit with. It wasn't an ordinary spell. I'm sorry, Draco. They hit quite a few people with something like this, and no one seems to know what to do. I'm so sorry," Hermione said as she took her hand and squeezed it gently.

Hermione lowered her head to hers, and kissed her forehead. Then muttered something to her that Draco couldn't hear. Crying tremulously, she suddenly got up, and stood a little way away, standing guard for them.

"It's okay, Draco," she said, trying to calm him down. Yet he couldn't be calmed down, not when his world was dying in front of him. He tried for her sake, though.

"I know it is, love. I know it is. We'll just have to wait for the battle to be over and I'll find the best healer here to help you," Draco said, and lifted her softly into his arms.

She rested her head against his chest, and he pulled his arm out from under her to hold her better. He glanced at his arm just as he was about to put it over her waist when he saw that it was covered in blood. Her blood.

He sat on the tower and hung his head. If only he had known some healing magic. She had tried to teach him too, but being his bloody arrogant self, he had refused. He said that he wouldn't need it, especially when he knew enough dark magic to protect them both in the first place.

"If only I would have known sooner, then I would have learned . . . for both of their sakes," Draco said to himself as he covered his face with his hands. This thought pained him more than anything else.