Underneath This Smile...

Underneath this smile...

Underneath this smile, my world is falling apart. The cloud I have been floating on has transformed into an island and I'm sinking.

You're the one that loved me and now by stopping, you've condemned me. You gave me all this love and now you say you want it back. You used to hold me when I wanted to cry.

You're the hero, you save everyone. Why don't you save me? Why did you desert me? You're noble and that's why we're no more. Your goodness has spoiled us.

You say that we can't be together because you want to protect me. You don't want Him to take me too, the person you love the most. At least that's what you used to say.

I sit here at the dinner table, listening to the chatter of my family arguing and talking. But the peas on my plate keeping turning into your eyes, your beautiful, green eyes that would give me so much comfort.

"I can't be with you anymore..." the words keep replaying over and over into my head until they turn into something I don't understand. A foreign language, as foreign to me as your reasons for breaking up

Before paradise was spoiled, everything was wonderful. You cared for me and loved like no one had ever before. You saw the me that no one had ever seen and had never dared to look at. They never looked underneath my smile. They only looked on to surface.

But who are they? They don't matter to me. You mean the world to me.

For so long, I've kept many secrets from the world. I've been in the dark, but when were together, the stage of my life lit up. The lights turned on and I was no longer in the dark. All my secrets were exposed to you.

With you, I was a different person. The person I always wanted to be. You brought out the best in me, the me that no one could see. You pushed me to be my best.

You never let me run away from a problem. You always read between the lines. Seeing the sadness in my eyes, before I even spoke. You never let me twist and turn the truth. I felt as I was naked when you were in the room, staring at me in that way of yours. Saying so much, but not saying anything at all.

That time was the best time of my life and then fire erupted in my paradise. Our lives were wracked with havoc and I know what you have to do. I just hope you know what you have to do.

I'm with you one hundred and one percent and I'm willing to help you in every which way that I can. But a small part of me wonders...what if you don't come back?

What if I stand there waiting for you and you never come back and I grow old without you?

I'd rather be with you now, loving you, ruining your noble hero act, condemning you, because you never know about tomorrow.

This world is an evil and hard place, full of darkness and madness. The world seems so much brighter when you're by my side. I feel as if no one can hurt me or touch me. When I look at you there is hope... Everything seems possible.

So why? Why did you have to be so good? So noble? Wanting to love me fully so that I wouldn't get it hurt? I hate you for loving me so much.

I rather love you now, than live without you tomorrow.

"What's wrong Ginny?" asked Mum, seeing my crestfallen face.

I smiled and shook my head.

Underneath this smile...