Forever Yours

A/N- Here's chapter 5, early and everything. Much thanks to my awesome (not PI accredited) beta Elisabeth- you rock! :) Now go read!

FOREVER YOURS

Chapter 5

Draco returned to the common room after practice that evening. It had been a tiring evening and he felt exhausted. Who knew that second years could play Quidditch?

He sat down in his favourite chair by the fireplace, leaning back and closing his eyes.

The tryouts were a success. He had gotten the team he had wanted, the sure fire way to win the Quidditch cup that year and beat the Gryffindors.

The tryout had gone well, but there had been struggle in the beginning. The Gryffindors had complained that the pitch was theirs.

The youngest Weasley girl was now Captain, he was surprised to find out. She was no longer the young girl she had been when she had come to Hogwarts and had been bewitched by Tom Riddle's diary.

She was still short, but the steel in her words made it seem as if she was taller.

His grey eyes opened as he remembered the look in her brown eyes, so unlike his, when she looked at him.

He had never seen such fury and power in someone's eyes, except for Potter's. But in the end, Potter had forgiven him.

In Weasley's eyes there was much hatred. He knew that he had taunted her and her family for years, calling them Mudblood lovers and whatnot, but he had changed now.

No one knew it, but he wasn't the evil, malevolent person he used to be, but he wasn't all warm and loving either. That was just part of his personality and upbringing that he was cold and distant.

He was sorry for getting involved with the Dark Lord and wanting to become a Death Eater.

Draco rolled up his sleeves and looked at the tattoo that was on his forearm, into the snake's eyes.

He would never truly be able to forget what he had done nor would he be able to forgive himself.

He hated seeing the judgement in people's eyes as they looked at him. The look that showed him that in their eyes he was still the same Draco Malfoy, who would kill.

An image of Weasley and her look of hate drifted into his mind's eye.

He wondered how many more times he would be judged.

He sighed and his eyes fell onto the parchment on the table beside him. It was the letter he had received during class that he had already read, but was too tired to respond to. It read:

Sept. 4. 97

Dear Prince of Darkness,

Otherwise what? Ha ha, very funny. You would've cursed me that badly? Ouch. That makes me glad that we've stopped cursing one another. I would not have waned to snort when I said I.

Anyway, right now I am in class. It's evident, I am sure, to you, as the letter will probably appear in your class.

But I was bored, so sue me. The professor keeps droning on and on about something or other, but honestly, I can't even care.

I'm sure you're not like that, though. This is your N.E.W.T year, so I'm sure you're working away and studying.

Not me, though. I like school as much as the next person, or hate it, whatever your pick, but I can't really concentrate these days on classes. I feel as if it's too soon to be holding classes after the war has just ended.

It is a good distraction, that's for sure. If we were to stay at home, we would just brood around and mope, depressed. Being at Hogwarts gives us something to do and think about. It keeps our thoughts busy, you know?

I'm sorry about the death of your parents. Were you close to them?

I can't imagine what would happen to me if one or both of my parents died. They both survived the war, thankfully.

How do you find the beginning of the year? Dull and depressing or fun and lively? That was a joke, by the way. I have a weird sense of humour. No one seems to get my jokes. Everyone around me, though, tells dirty jokes, which I don't understand, which is ironic. My jokes are just dumb and silly, but no one likes them.

Sorry for the length of my letter and the utter nonsense contents. I am bored and I had some free class time.

Sincerely,

Chariot of Light

P.S- Don't feel obliged to write as much as I did. You'd be crazy if you wrote even half as much...ha ha. See, another one of my lame jokes. I'll stop now.

Draco couldn't help but smile as he finished reading the letter once again. His pen pal sure had a personality, that was for sure.

Yawning, Draco realized that he still had homework to finish up, so he opened his bag and began to work into the night like many of his fellow seventh years.

~*~*~

The next morning, Draco felt tired. His bones hurt and his body ached. It was because he had been out of shape for the whole summer, not training at all. And now to suddenly play Quidditch for two hours got him tired.

He got dressed and went downstairs, meeting Blaise on the way. They started discussing Quidditch when he announced that the next practice was on Tuesday.

They two boys made their way to the Great Hall and to breakfast.

"How's your pen pal thing going, by the way?" asked Blaise as they sat down.

Draco shrugged. "Fine."

"The curses finished?" he asked with a grin on his face.

Draco smiled. "Yeah, they're done with. She decided that we'd both get into trouble if we continued."

"She?" question Blaise, pouring himself some juice. "I can't get a bloody thing out of my pen pal; they're so secretive. How do you know it's a girl?"

Again, he shrugged. "Just from the temperamental way she writes. My father told me that is how all women are. Judgemental and quick to voice their opinions when being wronged."

Blaise shook his head. "You're father had so much experience before your mother, that's why he knew so much. I wish there were some good girls in our school, but they're all ugly."

Draco's eyes scanned the room. "Not all. I'm guessing you don't want Granger, otherwise I'd hook you up with her."

"No thanks." Blaise made a face. "No Gryffindors. Everyone else is fine."

Draco still continued to look around. "They're not that bad looking, the Gryffindor girls."

"Whoa!" teased Blaise. "That's coming from the Slytherin King himself."

He rolled his eyes at his friend. "You know it's not like that, Blaise...anymore."

Blaise nodded. "I know, Draco, I know. I was just teasing you. You're right, though. They're not that bad." He too looked across to the Gryffindor table.

"There's the Patil twins," he pointed out. "One of them grew tall over the summer. Then there's Lavender Brown, she did something to her hair. And then there's Ginny Weasley."

"What?" Draco snapped, actually paying attention to his friend now. "What did you say?"

Blaise shrugged, draining the last of his juice. "The Weasley girl. I know you hate her, and so do I, actually, but she has fire, man. That's hard to ignore in a girl."

Draco just laughed at Blaise. He knew Blaise wasn't actually serious and was joking.

"What about you, Draco?" he asked. "Pansy's been looking your way every five seconds for the past three days." He nodded off in her direction where the pug faced Slytherin sat talking to Millicent Bulstrode, casually glancing over Draco's way every few seconds, just like Blaise had said.

"No, no one for me," said Draco, getting to his feet. "I don't need anyone."

And with that, he picked up his bag and left for class. Since he had left early, most of the people were still in the Great Hall and the halls were empty.

He walked lazily to his class. He was turning a corner on the fifth floor when he banged into someone, sending them to the ground along with his books.

"Ow!" moaned the girl on the floor. It was Weasley, the youngest.

"It's your fault," growled Malfoy. "Can't you watch where you're going?"

She stood up and picked up her books. "I was watching where I was going. You're the one who's blind. Your ego's clouding up your vision."

Draco didn't say anything for a second. The old Draco would have had a snappy retort on the tip of his tongue and would have fired it, but the new Draco didn't want to get involved.

He just turned and walked away to class.

Ginny stared after him. What was that? Was that really Draco Malfoy? The same Malfoy who had mocked her for years on end? He just stood there and he hadn't said anything and then walked away. That was strange.

Malfoy had always relished any opportunity to annoy her and curse her. This would seem like the ideal moment, yet he had passed it up.

Ginny couldn't be bothered to think about it any longer, because the halls were crowding and class was about to start soon.

She walked quickly to her class and took her seat just as the bell rang.

The morning was a busy one, but during Charms, which was right before lunch, her response to her letter came.

September 4, 1997

Dear Chariot of Light,

I am sitting in one of the most boring classes at the moment. A subject which should be banned from the Hogwarts curriculum altogether. A History of Magic has been a tedious subject all these years, and I was a fool for having taken it again.

N.E.W.T.s are approaching this year, and I should be working hard for them, but I just can't.

Thoughts of the war and the summer that just passed fail to leave my thoughts and dreams. School isn't enough to keep me away from it all, yet I try to immerse myself into it.

My parents and I were never that close. I'd like to think we were when they were alive, but now that they are gone, I'd be a fool to think so.

My father kept me away from him while growing up, so I became distant with him and he with I. My mother was a busy woman, so she hardly had time for a child, and training me became a tedious job.

But the boring details of my life will just depress you, so I'll stop telling you about them.

A fun and lively start to the year? Hardly. Try: boring, dull, depressing and hard. I have had more homework in my first week this year than I have had in any two months at Hogwarts last year.

But I'd rather do something than nothing.

Prince of Darkness

Ginny finished reading the letter just when the had bell rang. She stuffed it into her bag and ran out of her class.

On her way to the Great Hall, she couldn't help but feel sadness about the Prince of Darkness. Maybe it was why he had dubbed himself so. She had no idea.

As soon as she had sat down at the Gryffindor table, Ron came up to her and said, "Ginny, can I speak to you?"

Ginny looked up from her sandwich that she was about to eat.

"You're speaking to me now, Ron. What is it?" she asked.

He sat down next to her and said, "Hermione and Lavender aren't here yet, so I wanted to speak to you."

She waited for him to continue.

Ron pushed back his hair from his eyes and said, "Lavender keeps threatening me. It's horrible; she won't leave me alone. Her threats keep turning nastier and nastier."

"How nasty?" Ginny asked.

Ron shrugged. "She keeps saying that if I don't take her back she'll spread rumours about me, she'll sabotage my work, stupid things like that. She's driving me crazy."

"Hmm," said Ginny. "What are you doing about it?"

"Trying to ignore her, hoping she'll stop. I also tried to reason with her, but that doesn't work either. She's a stubborn cow," he swore. "And then there's Hermione..."

"What about her?" she asked, seeing where this was leading.

Ron put his hands up in the air. "She won't talk to me, won't look at me. Even during class she ignores me. All day long, she walks around me and purposely takes other routes so she doesn't have to walk with me."

Ginny thought about what she should say. This was a sticky situation.

"Well, maybe you should leave her alone," she suggested, biting her lower lip. "If she's ignoring you, then maybe you should ignore her too."

"Ignore her?"

She nodded. "Maybe she'll come back to you. If you chase her, she'll get more annoyed. Just leave her alone and she'll come back."

Ron mentally tried to picture what his little sister was saying. "Man, women are confusing. All this reverse-psychology drives me nuts."

Ginny shrugged and bit into her sandwich, while Ron slumped just as Lavender entered the hall.

Halfway through her sandwich, Hermione came and sat down in front of her.

"Hey!" said Ginny. "How's it going?"

Hermione smiled. "Good, actually. You know how much time I used to spend thinking about Ro...you know. It's so nice to have my thoughts to myself for a change."

Ginny grinned when Hermione stopped at the R word. "It's great, isn't it?"

She nodded fervently, picking up a book to read. "It's amazing, actually. I wasted so much time thinking about him before. Now it feels liberating to be away from him."

"That's really good, Hermione," said Ginny, taking out a quill and a piece of parchment. "I'm proud of you."

She dipped her quill into her inkpot and then began to write.

Sept. 4. 97

Dear Prince of Darkness,

Why do you call yourself that? Just a general question that I'm curious about.

Please, do tell me about your life. You are not depressing me at all. I actually find it all interesting. I like finding out about people and seeing what makes them the people that they actually are.

I'm sorry that you and your family could not have been close. Was it just you and your parents, or did you have any siblings?

I'm sure you had loads of time to yourself, though. My family's so large that sometimes I feel lost in it. I'm the youngest, so I feel that I often get ignored. It's like the things that I have to say aren't important enough.

But enough about that. After Hogwarts, what career do you want to pursue?

I find it so scary when our professors tell us that the careers we want to pursue are hardly ever what we end up in. It really makes you realize that your life is never in your hands. There are always circumstances and things beyond your control. If you have your mind made up about something that will happen, it's likely that fate will change it for you.

Thoughts of the war just depress me now. It seems as if the school just wants to forget it happened. No one wants to talk about it.

Me, on the other hand, want to talk to someone about it. Someone who will understand the pain of losing someone close to you, knowing that there were a thousand things you wanted to say to them, but now you can't.

Argh, I'm getting emotional again. I tend to do that a lot, but what can I do? Being the way that I am, I make decisions by my heart and my feelings. It gets me into a lot of trouble, because I sometimes forget all logic and the things my brain is telling me.

But enough about me. What about you?

Sincerely,

Chariot of Light

Outside in the courtyard, Draco Malfoy received the letter.

He was sitting with Blaise, as usual, while they tried to figure out a Potions essay. The weather was unusually warm and they wanted to enjoy the last of it before it disappeared to be replaced by the bitter cold.

While Blaise pored over a particular section in the textbook, Draco read over the letter.

He smiled when he got to the end. He tucked it into his trouser pocket to be replied to later.

He then focused his energies on the task at hand.

Over the next few days, not many letters were exchanged between the pair as the workload for both Ginny and Draco had increased heavily.

Draco wrote his responses during classes, during break, at lunch, and after class when he had a spare minute to spare.

Ginny also was very busy and wrote her responses when she had time, quickly scribbling down a response and then watching it disappear as it was delivered.

September 6, 1997

Dear Chariot of Light,

I agree with you about the war. People behave as if the war never happened and try to forget it.

It was such a large event that impacted people's lives in so many ways, that sometimes it's easier to forget, to just erase that part from your mind and keep going on in the present.

Me, I'm tied between the two. My present and past are linked, and I can't seem to pull the two apart. I would like to forget about the past and start over, but a part of me clings on to that past, because in this unknown future, it's the only familiar thing I have to hold on to.

When you need to discuss the war, feel free to do so with me. I feel like I will be able to understand.

I have no idea what career I want to pursue. I'll just wait until the end of this year and then decide where I want to go.

Fate? You believe in it? I don't. For most of my life, the things I've wanted done have happened the way I've wanted. It has been no one else's choice or decision, except mine.

My mind rules my body, not my heart. I've thrown my heart into the back somewhere, locked it up and thrown away the key. If I were to let it come back, I think that I wouldn't be able to handle the pain that I would feel. Logic and calculations dominate my mind, not my feelings.

It's only the weak that wear their hearts on their sleeves. If you let the whole world see your pain, they'll be able to see your weakness and know where to strike you.

It's better to leave that part of you unattached from the rest of you, so that you have no relation to it.

I have called myself Prince of Darkness because the world around me is filled with darkness and evil. It is a cold, dark place. But I'd rather stay on top of it than get lost in the misery inside. I'd rather be the prince of this world than wallow in my own thoughts and despairs.

It's either eat or be eaten, and I'd rather eat.

Prince of Darkness

Ginny read this response in Divination class and responded at lunch, in the library, while working on her homework with Hermione.

Sept. 6. 97

Dear Prince of Darkness,

I'd rather be eaten if it were a matter of my conscience. I can't trample people just to get to the top, that's just wrong.

But you're right. This is a cold, dark world, and it is better to be at the top than at the bottom, wallowing.

But me, I have the biggest conscience ever. The smallest thing I do wrong beeps out a radar in my brain and makes me feel so guilty. I think it's my mother's fault.

Of course you're tied between your past and present. You have to be. There is no person in this world that can just forget his or her past and live in the future. It's those events in the past that make us who we are. Nothing else.

And yes, I believe in fate. How can you not? Don't you realize that things happen for a reason? There is something behind these small things that happen to us daily.

Are you calling me weak, then, for wearing my heart on my sleeve? It's not weakness to confront yourself and your feelings, Prince, but it is cowardice to bury it deep down, thinking that you can forget it all.

Maybe I do wear my heart on my sleeve, and maybe I am stupid for doing that. You're right, but telling people how I feel is like handing them the weapons for destroying me.

Maybe I am torn between the two emotions, but that's just how I am. An emotional person.

How can you go through the world not caring? Not feeling? How are you even living, then?

Sure, I might feel sometime that I wish I could just pick up my heart and throw it away. Then I wouldn't have to go through all this pain. But how is that living life? Going through the world like that, unattached, is like closing your eyes, plugging your nose, putting your hands in your pockets, leaving your mouth closed and plugging your ears while you're in a field of snow.

Yes, you know where you are, but can you actually feel any of it? You can see it, but that's all. You've stopped doing everything else.

What if you see something horrible? Unplug your nose, what if you smell something foul? What if you touch something coarse? What if you taste something sour and bitter? What if you hear something wrong?

It'll be painful, yes, but what about all those times you tasted something sweet, saw something wonderful, touched something soft, heard something nice, smelled something fragrant?

Do you see the picture? Sure, life sucks and all that the world is a dark and evil place, but you can't just cut yourself off from feeling it all. Later on, all those feelings will come back to you. The moments where you can feel give you perception of the world. Nothing more than that.

Those feelings you feel might be painful, difficult, hard, worrisome, saddening, or they might be wonderful, joyful, sweet and pleasant.

You'll never know until you try.

Sincerely,

Chariot of Light

A/n- How was it? Was Ginny's letter deep or just preachy? Anyways the next chap should be up soon and then I'll have some explaining to do! :p Till than my loyal fans! :)