The Diary of a Witch, Volume I

The Diary of a Witch: Volume I

PROLOGUE: AUGUST

Sunday, August 10, 1991, Manor, Great Britain,

 Magic.

 That explains a lot.

 It explains how I survived that car crash that killed my parents instantly. I thought I had just fallen through the door like the witnesses said I did. That I imagined disappearing right through the door.

 It also explains all the weird stuff that keeps happening around me. Like when Alyssa Sloan grew that wart out of no where after she made fun of the weird flower shaped beauty mark on the side of my neck. The one I really hate and try to hide whenever I can. That was kind of weird.

 

Funny. But weird.

 I figured it was one of those things. But now I know it’s because I’m a witch. A witch who’s just been accepted to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I hope the food will be decent at least.

 Not that it matters. I’ll be going regardless of what the food is like or whether I want to (which I do, sort of). It’s Grandfather’s big chance to get rid of me. All the English boarding schools didn’t have any openings. He was starting to look into schools in Switzerland. SWITZERLAND! I’m a California girl. I so do NOT do snow. It’s bad enough being in England where it rains ALL THE FREAKING TIME! It’s even worse here at the manor because we’re in the moor area of Great Britain. Wherever Hogwarts is, I hope it doesn’t rain.

 At least I’ll be able to get away from the manor. Two years, I’ve been living here and the place still gives me the creeps. Though it’s not haunted like all the locals say it is because I’ve never seen any ghosts. Unless you count our butler Jacob. He’s got to be in his hundreds. He hardly ever talks and he keeps mixing up me with my grandmother. Though Lorelai is a better name than Jubilee. Sort of.

 I don’t know how he can mix the two of us up. I’ve seen pictures of her and we hardly look alike. True, we both have black hair but she had blue eyes while I have brown eyes. Her hair was really long and I keep mine to my chin so I don’t have to mess with it. She has that English decent look about her while I am clearly Chinese-American (my Mom was Chinese). She’s always looking ladylike and wore dresses while I can’t stand to dress up and wear combat boots all the time with jeans that often have doodles on them that I’ve drawn when I’m bored.

I can only hope that Hogwarts isn’t strict with their dress codes.

Tuesday, August 20, Room at Manor,

 Well. So much for a tearful good-bye. Not that I was expecting one. I mean this is Grandfather we’re talking about. He’s made it clear from day one that he hates kids and that I’m a complete burden to him and that I should be grateful he is charitable enough to take me in at all. Grateful in his book means staying out of his way. So it’s very rare when I’m called into his office. Something I’m very thankful for because his office makes me nervous and when I’m nervous I tend to fidget, ramble, and be more klutzy then usual. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

 The fact that Grandfather’s really intimidating in his black suits and dull ties does not help. Neither does his seven feet of height as opposed to my four foot...something. I’m very short, let me put it that way. All in all, not a good combination.

 The ‘chat’ we had wasn’t much fun either. I put quotation marks around the word chat because really our conversations are me sitting in a really big uncomfortable leather chair listening to him either a) complain about my behavior, b) telling me everything that is wrong with me even though I pretty much already know what is wrong with me, thank you very much or c) telling me he is going on yet another business trip. He’s always going on business trips all over Europe. I’m not even entirely sure what it is that he does. I think it has something to do with insurance because I overheard him and a few of his coworkers who he always invites over for that dull Christmas party every year talk about some dudes account. If he’s not a insurance guy then he might be a banker. But bankers don’t travel much from what I know.

 Anyway, today the conversation was C. He’s going to be in Paris for the next two weeks. So I won’t be seeing him when I leave for Diagon Alley in London on Sunday.. Guess hoping he would actually care enough to say good-bye to me was too much. I’m not even really going to miss him to tell you the truth. Even after two years he’s a complete stranger to me. I never had any contact with him before Mom and Dad died. In fact, I didn’t even know he EXISTED until the car crash. Mom and Dad never mentioned him before.

 I’m actually closer to the staff then I am to him.. Pretty sad when you think about it. Even if they are a great people. There are four people on the staff. Angela is the head housekeeper and the person who is mainly in charge of me. Luckily she has six daughters who are all grown up so she has a little more parenting experience then Grandfather, even though hypothetically he raised my Dad. She pretty much runs the whole manor. She’s in charge of hiring the maids who come and go. The longest any has lasted has been a month. Between Grandfather who tends to yell when he’s interrupted at work and Angela who is pretty intimidating when she’s mad the maids usually all get scared off.

The second person is Jacob the butler who I’ve mentioned before. He’s been here at the manor longer then anybody. He was here when my DAD was my age. I know this because he’s told me several stories about him when he was a kid. Let’s just say I get my klutziness from him.

Though it’s pretty hard to get him to talk at first, once he gets started he can tell you the whole history of the Johanson family if you let him.

The third person is Giselle the cook. And boy do I mean cook. She makes some great stuff. Even if it is all vegetarian food. See, she’s a vegetarian and won’t cook meat. The only time she will is Christmas when she makes turkey. Other then that we’re stuck with salads and tofu. Though she does make a good vegetarian lasagne. She also has a thing about junk food. She won’t stand for any of it. This is bad news for me because I’m a bit of a junk food addict. How I manage to stay skinny and not get pimples or zits with all the candy I smuggle into the house and eat I’ll never know. I wonder if it’s a magic thing? Giselle is in her late twenties and is from Spain believe it or not. Actually a lot of the staff are from different countries. Jacob is the only one from Great Britain. Angela is Irish. She’s got the red hair, the accent and man, is she stubborn.

Our various maids have come from various places around the world. The current one is from Sweden. Then there is our gardener Gerard who is from France. He’s about Giselle’s age and unless I’m mistaken he’s got a massive crush on her. He’s actually pretty cool for an adult. He lets me help out in the garden like I used to with Mom. He’s also been teaching me french and I can now insult people in the language very fluently.

 So that’s all the people who live here. Weird bunch, I know. But they’re great people and they actually care, which is nice. In fact Angela’s the one who got me this journal. She gave it to me the day after I got my Hogwarts letter saying I needed a way to get my feelings out since it seemed I didn’t feel like sharing them with anyone. I told her I was fine but she gave me that ‘yeah right, Jubilee’ look.

I hate that look.

Sunday, August 25, London, The Leaky Cauldron Inn, Room 213,

I hate long car rides. Why does Grandfather have to live so far out in the country anyway? What, does he have something against civilization? Wouldn’t surprise me if he did. I’m beginning to think he has some serious issues with people. But then he IS a business guy.. Dad always said that corporations make you paranoid. Now I know why he said that. He had to live with Grandfather.

 Today Angela and I drove out to London to get my school supplies. There were directions to Diagon Alley in my acceptance letter. We’re supposed to meet this guy named Remus Lupin tomorrow morning who will show us around and answer any questions we have about Hogwarts. He apparently is a graduate from the place so he’ll know what I need.

 Saying good-bye to the staff was sad. I’m really going to miss everyone. They made me promise to write them letters though so at least I’ll be able to keep in touch. The car ride took FIVE LONG HOURS. I slept most of the way, it helped that Angela was playing classical music. That always puts me to sleep. I would have preferred something like ACDC or U2 but Angela rules the car radio with a iron fist and it’s really just not worth it sometimes to argue.

 We got into London about five P.M. Then we hit a hour long traffic jam. Man, I’ve missed the city life. Though London is pretty different from L. A. For one thing, no beaches. I’ve really missed living near a beach. Plus, less movie stars.

We finally got out of the traffic jam and had to park the car overnight. Boy is that expensive. The place we were staying at was the Leaky Cauldron which for some reason was in the middle of a record store (who listens to THOSE anymore) and a bookstore. The entrance was just this plain black door with the sign over it. I think Angela and I were the only ones who could see it because a lot of people barely glanced at it.

 The innkeeper’s name was Tom and he was okay. Really cheerful but then nobody likes a grumpy innkeeper so I guess he has to be cheerful. The Leaky Cauldron is your basic London pub with rooms attached. The rooms are okay, though I could do without the talking mirror. It said I need to grow a few inches, my posture was horrible, and that I had paint on my shoes. Uh, I already have plenty of people to lecture me thank you very much.

 Now it’s telling me to quit writing, it’s too late for me to be up. 10:30 P.M. is not late. But I will stop writing only to shut it up.

Monday, August 26, Diagon Alley, Fortescues Ice Cream Parlor,

 This whole day has been great!

 Except for the whole waking up early part. That I didn’t really appreciate. But the cheese omelette made up for it. Mr. Lupin met Angela and I like he said. He’s a pretty nice guy who’s in his late thirties, though he looks older because he’s going gray already. It was weird, but I kind of got the feeling he was kind of sad. Every so often he’d look like he was remembering something. Weird, huh?

Anyway, after breakfast Mr. Lupin took us to the back of the Leaky Cauldron which had this courtyard with a brick wall which he tapped with his wand. When he did this the wall opened up like those doors you see on Star Trek and revealed Diagon Alley which is basically a long line of stores.

 Before we did any shopping we had to get the money Grandfather gave me converted into wizard money (Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts). Considering he gave me something like 5,000 pounds I had more than enough. I put the rest into a vault that I opened when we were at Gringotts.

Gringotts is actually run by real live GOBLINS! Creepy looking little guys who are even shorter then I am. Depositing money in my new account was fun because we had to get there by riding in these mining carts that went along tracks under London. It was like being under a underground roller coaster. It was a blast! Though Angela looked a little green afterward.

 After Gringotts we went into dozens of stores getting my school supplies. This included things like a cauldron, a collapsible telescope, and even quills and ink. I was able to get these cute quills that were bright neon colors and ink that changes color when you write. My favorite store was Flourish and Blotts which was the bookstore. The KING of bookstores. Angela had to drag me away from the fiction section. Along with my course books I got Quidditch Through the Ages which is about a wizard sport played on broomsticks. Sounds wicked.

 The last thing we bought was my wand which we got at Ollivanders, ‘fine makers of wands since 382 B.C.’. That’s a long time to be making wands. Mr. Ollivander was...well kind of like those eccentric scientists you see on TV who sometimes try to take over the world. I bet if Einstein had been a wizard, he would have been exactly like Mr. Ollivander. He stared at me just a little too long for my taste. I felt like I was being x-rayed. Then he called me a ‘unusual one’, whatever that means.

 After freaking me out with his staring he started to measure me. In weird places too. I mean, does he really need to know the width of my nose? Then I had to wave wands for about thirty minutes until I finally got one that created blue and green sparks without causing damage. My wand is rosewood, with a unicorn tail hair, and is ten and half inches long.. It’s supposedly excellent for charms

 After that Angela and I said good-bye to Mr. Lupin and we went to Fortescues Ice Cream Parlor. They have some cool flavors here. I got ‘rainbow’ flavor which tastes kind of like a weird mixture of fruit juice and cotton candy. Angela got chocolate and caramel. Like me she has a thing about chocolate.

 I won’t have to go to Hogwarts until September 1 so we have the rest of the week to sightsee. Believe it or not I haven’t been to London since I first came to England two years ago. Then I was too depressed to care what I was seeing outside the car window. Oh, Angela just came back from the bathroom. Bye.

Saturday, August 31, the Leaky Cauldron Inn, Room 213,

 It’s been a busy week. I’ve seen most of London by now. We’ve gone to the Big Ben, the Tower of London, the London Zoo, Buckingham Palace, Piccadillies (not sure if I’m spelling that right) Circus, and way too many museums to count. At Buckingham Palace I tried to make one of the guards laugh or at least crack a smile. No luck, those guys are like statues. Brings whole new meaning to the British ‘stiff upper lip’ saying when you think about it.

 It just really hit me that I won’t be going back to my old school. Ever. Not that I’m heart broken. On the contrary, I’m ecstatic, I’ve done the moonwalk like five times. I stopped when I crashed into a nearby table though. See, I was a bit of a outcast in my old school. I don’t know why, I’m a okay person. I don’t smoke (like I know some ten year olds in L. A did, how they got the cigarettes is beyond me) and I’m generally nice to people if they’re nice to me and others. The only people I don’t really get along with are bullies, bigots, and snobs. But really, who would WANT to get along with them?

 Unfortunately for me bullies and snobs were pretty much the ones who ran the school. The most popular girl in school was the headmistress’s daughter, Alyssa Sloan and she and I got off to a bad start when I punched her for making fun of me on my first day for being a orphan. Normally I would have just told her off but I had a few ‘issues’ back then. For instance anger management, at least that’s what the school counselor said was my main problem. I’ve gotten a lot better though, counting to ten really helps I’ve discovered. So does avoiding people who I know would make me mad. Meaning the popular crowd who were a whole group of snobs and in some cases bigots.

 However you can’t really avoid bullies. They tend to come in groups or in twos. So every so often I’d get into a fight with some who were picking on a little kid who couldn’t defend him/herself. This got me dubbed as a troublemaker and people generally don’t like troublemakers, so I was avoided at all costs. Even the kids I helped avoided me. There’s gratitude for you.

Excuse me for thinking I shouldn’t have to deal with being picked on. Now I know how those gypsies in the Hunchback of Notre Dame felt. I hope people at Hogwarts are more open-minded.

Oh, gotta go. Angela’s telling me to go to bed. She’s giving me the ‘look’. Never argue with her when she gives you the ‘look’.