Another Rung on the Ladder

Chapter Five

Et tu, Brute.

Severus was reading. Peter had lent him a good book to understand Bowtruckles - Care of Magical Creatures was another area Severus was not at home in. He could deal with animals well enough once they were dead and you were allowed to cut them up and have a poke around inside, but he'd never understood all of this taking care business. He would ditch they subject if he didn't need it to make a full education, but unfortunately he disliked all the other subjects on offer even more. He didn't want to study Divination, he had no interest in Muggle Studies and Arithmancy bored him to the death. So he had no other choice than to keep traipsing down into the school grounds to have lessons with Professor Kettleburn, a very enthusiastic teacher who'd begun teaching just as Severus started at Hogwarts. He had heard rumours about the last Care of Magical Creatures teacher having been sent off in a box (a very small box), and Professor Kettleburn being accepted as his replacement only because he'd been known to illegally duel with Chimaeras. These stories did nothing to increase Severus's love for the subject.

Oh well. He and Peter had set a date for their Hogsmeade visit now, at least - they would go to the second Flying for Beginners lesson together, and try to actually learn something. (Their flying was still far from good, or even acceptable. Nowadays they at least got off the ground at - practically - every try, but they were no birds no matter how much Whizzie tried to tell them the opposite.) Not many people hung out at the Three Broomsticks, the old and very cranky waitress scaring most of the younger generation away, so hopefully they wouldn't be seen by anyone from the school. Friendships between Gryffindors and Slytherins were not impossible, but they were rare and Peter would be mercilessly teased, not to say terrorized, by his so-called friends. Would he think it was worth it though, Severus wondered? He would have, if he was in the same position. He hadn't ever had a friend like Peter before.

Right then, right there, everything was perfect. Severus was happy with his life. Happy, until a hated shadow fell over his book and Potter leaned forward across the library table.

"Hello," he said, smirking. "What are you reading? How to Become a Likeable Person, five easy steps? I hope there's a sequel, 'cause one book isn't going to get you far, I'm afraid."

Severus jerked, but did not say anything. He would not let Potter goad him into yet another argument. He would not let himself be pushed over the edge once again. He would remain calm, practising that self control he admired in Lupin, radiating that contempt he felt in Potter, aloof with that arrogance he saw in Black.

You could learn by watching your enemies, as well.

"What's the matter?" Potter's smirk grew wider, gloating. "Cat got your tongue, Snivellus?"

For a moment Severus didn't react, but then his ears told him what had just happened. Betrayal.

He looked down at the book in front of him - the book with P.Pettigrew written on the inside of the cover in a painstakingly neat hand - and snatched his hands away from it as if it had burned him. He sat for a second in silence... and then the rage filled him, not hot but icy cold, and he gripped the book in both hands and threw it as hard as he could into the nearest wall, watching the back break with what would have been satisfaction if he hadn't been sick with anger.

"Oops," said Potter.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" said Black casually, emerging from behind a bookcase. "Being so cruelly betrayed by your dear, dear friend. Tell me, Snivellus..." His eyes narrowed. "Were you always such a twisted bastard or is Peter your first love? Well of course, it does explain a few things, doesn't it? Always wondered why you help out with the Quidditch team, for example... Peter was just too small and cute to keep your hands off, is that it? Heard you asked him out to a little date in Hogsmeade, isn't that sweet..."

Severus never remembered what curse or hex he hit Black with, but exactly six seconds later the Gryffindor boy was lying on the floor. Later Severus learned that he had sustained a heavy concussion and had to stay in sickbay for several days. The thought gave him no guilt, but no pleasure either.

"Just because you don't know the meaning of being simply friends," he said quietly, looking down at Black's still form, "it doesn't mean the rest are of are just as ignorant." The accusation had made him even angrier - was friendship something so strange? Did they have to read into it, see lust or love? Couldn't they understand that two people could just enjoy being together, without wanting more than to know that there was someone who would listen when they spoke?

He heard the gasp and saw Potter's movement in the corner of his eye, and had just enough time to draw a deep breath before he was slammed up against the wall with a Choker Spell. The Gryffindor boy had his wand up against him, shaking with fury.

"I knew you were a sad fuck," he spat, "but I didn't think even you would attack without the slightest warning. He didn't even have his wand! Curses are too bloody good for you, you bastard!"

Severus did not even have the energy to reflect over this wonderful sentiment from the boy who had thrown hexes at his back countless times. And besides, he didn't care anymore. He struggled to keep air in his lungs for as long as possible, but could at last not withstand the Choker any longer. And just before he blacked out, he heard Potter's last words,

"And I don't ever want to see you near Peter again, you disgusting fucking snake."

Funny, thought Severus vaguely, finally something me and Potter agree on.

Then all was darkness.

.........................................................

"I had to," said Peter. His face was calm, and his smile was not the half nervous, half delighted one Severus had come to know over the weeks. It was a distant smile, as if the real Peter was not there at all. Severus could fool himself and say that it was so, but that would be a lie. This was the real Peter. The one he had gotten to know was the false one.

"I have to get out of my life as it is now," Peter continued. "No matter what it takes."

"You are a fool." Severus shook his head. "If you can't see that your using me only gives you glory for a short while, then you are really much less intelligent than I gave you credit for."

"Makes you the fool, doesn't it?" Peter shrugged. "Such a bad judge of character... If you want to know, glory for a short while is all I ask for. It gives me time to rise a little higher, climb one laborious step. It's a short time now, when they listen to what I have to tell them, but that's all I need. Then I find something new."

"I wouldn't have figured you as the planning mastermind." Severus looked at the boy he had thought of as a friend. His face was still, like a mask, his features handsome without their usual nervous tension. But the detached manner was unreal - so calm, it was as if he was an empty, beautifully made doll. And there was something else. Something in those calculating eyes was screaming.

"Something inside you is saying help me. Are you going to listen before it's too late?"

"Can I tell James you said that?" Peter smiled, mocking the melodrama. "No - best to save it up. By the way, Sev," Severus stiffened at the nickname he had so fondly been given, "I'm a bit surprised you didn't catch on faster. There were many times the clever James or ever funny Sirius said things to you they could not possibly have found out by themselves. Things they could only have heard of from me. And you never suspected?"

"You may not know the word, but if you look in the T section of the dictionary you'll find something called "trust"," said Severus bitterly. "Now I'm going to follow the advice of your friend," he spat the word out as if it tasted bad, "James Potter. He told me to stay the hell away from you, and for once I have nothing against listening to him." He threw his hands out in a surprised gesture. "Well, I guess he does care a little bit about you - you must be so glad. How about that? As if it wasn't enough to have what I thought was finally a friend stab me in the back and then twist the knife around several times, I now find out that Potter is actually human, as well. This is not my week." He turned, and Peter laughed softly behind him.

"We had fun times. Thanks for everything."

"Shut up, fucking rat."

"That was not very witty. You can do better."

"I save my wit for those who deserve it," said Severus, and walked away.