My Last Breath

I can remember everything so well. I can remember our endless mischief and havoc we plagued Hogwarts with. But, now that we are through with out schooling days, we are on our own with no where to run. I sigh as I think of what you must have been thinking when you betrayed me, and betrayed our friends. Betrayed out son.

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Flashback

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Hold on to me love, You know I can't stay long

Life. What's in it? I have lost everything and not being able to do anything. Not being able to hear your silent screams for help before it was too late.

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

Lightly I kiss your pale forehead, strands of auburn red stuck to your head by sweat. Your eyes are closed. I can not look into them and soak in their beauty and radiance. Your emerald green eyes, always swimming with joy. How could I not see this coming? I knew you cried at night but I never asked why. I heard you cry out in anguish in the middle of the night when you thought I was sound asleep. Even when you were tightly wrapped in my arms, I knew and heard you cry, but never asked why.

Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms?

I never really loved you like I should have. I knew it was because of me you cried, but did you have to leave our child behind? He needs a mother more than a father but a mother he will know nothing of. He will never know of your beauty and endless love. I should have been able to tell the you would hold everything back from me. You would never cry in front of me and long sleeves were all you would wear, even in the heat of summer- I could never look at your wrists and see that they were scarred.

Holding my last breath, Safe inside myself, Are all my thoughts of you, Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight.

How could I have known that in a few short hours, when I returned from a hard day of work, that I would find you upstairs in a pile of blood and a knief in your hand? How could have I known?! The winter's are going to be cold and bleak without you here with your son and I? The little forest surrounding your house is where I use to find you, standing there in the cold staring at the setting sun behind the trees. You would always remark how beautiful the sky was and say that you'd never get to see one again--maybe I should have paid attention to you.

I'll miss the winter, A world of fragile things, Looking for me in the white forest, Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

When we would cuddle on the sofa, I could taste your tears when I bent down to kiss you. I should have realized then that something was out of place, but I didn't. I was too blind to see. I blocked my eyes from your tears and deafened myself to your endless cries for help.

I know you can hear me, I can taste it in your tears.

You must have dreamt of a place better than where you are now. You must have realized that you had nothing to leave for and no one to care about. Closing your eyes in prayer at night, you would pray that someone would help you kill the pain. 'Kill' should have been the clue. I should have known that you were talking about yourself. Eleven years of knowing you and I never really knew-never really understood. You would wake every morning, wishing someone was there beside you to wish you goodmorning, but there was no one. Not even me.

Closing your eyes to disappear, You pray your dreams will leave you here, But still you wake and know the truth, No one's there.

---------------------- End Flashback ---------------------- Harry still doesn't know how you died, but he knows now. He's old enough to know. He will be turning fifteen in about a month, it is time for him to know. Oh my dear Lily, where ever you are I hope you're happier there than you were with me and your son.

Say goodnight, Don't be afraid, Calling me calling me as you fade to black