Collateral Damage

Thanks you to Bobby Dazzler for being my beta!

Remus spent the next several days withdrawn in his room, wanting to be as prepared as possible for his upcoming mission. He took several books out of the Hogwarts library about werewolves and the proper methods of interaction when approaching a werewolf pack. He did not want to offend the Alpha on his very first encounter with the pack. Since the pack's location was in mountainous Haut-Savoie, they did not have much interaction with outsiders and might be even more socially stringent as a result.

Most of the books detailed proper greetings, in both werewolf and human form, and the proper ways to address the Alpha and everyone else in the social order of the pack. The last section he read was on sparring. Apparently the wilder the pack, the greater the increase in sparring amongst males. Remus highly doubted that he would be required to spar with anyone; as a newcomer, he knew his place was at the lowest of the social standings in the pack.

Quietly, he closed the book and rubbed his eyes. It had been several intense days of research and planning. Remus was going to hike to the mountainous location and bring the pack a gift. He was to give two gifts actually, one being fresh meat and the other being a supply of the Wolfsbane potion for one of the members to take. Depending on their relationship with the Wizarding world, they may prefer one gift over the other, and he had to figure out which one would be the proper gift before ever presenting it to the Alpha.

He quietly stood and started to stack the books and papers on the small desk in his room. He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck as it had started to develop a slow ache from his hours reading. He wondered if Madame Pomfrey could give him anything for the pain, or maybe Claire could. He sighed and let his hand drop, knowing he was just looking for an excuse to see her. Ever since he realized that he adored her and nothing could be done to stop it, he had not been able to see her. His obligations to the Order superseded any obligations to his heart, at least for now.

Slowly, he walked over to his small armoire and pulled out his dark brown robe; it was the best one he owned. Tonight there was a dinner for the Order members that were present at Hogwarts. School had just ended, and they were the only ones left in the building. Some members, like Snape, were coming from their homes as well. It was a sort of informal sendoff for Remus, as he was due to leave less than thirty-six hours from now.

After he had adjusted his robes, he opened the door and found that the table in the middle of the room had been extended and an embroidered tablecloth was placed over it. There were long benches at the table, for once. Remus assumed that someone had conjured them for the dinner tonight. As he shut the door to his room he heard a loud "Look out!" He ducked just before a flying set of plates crashed into him on their way to the table to set themselves. He looked over at Tonks who just cringed and laughed. Chuckling, he mocked looking in both directions before making his way to the table.

Several people were already at the table, such as Dumbledore, Moody, Kingsley and Tonks. Snape had just entered the room via the passageway when Remus felt movement next to him. As he turned, he saw Claire smiling at him as she sat. He noticed that she wore her hair loose today, instead of in its usual plait. He smiled back at her and spied a blush rise in her cheeks. Just to tease, Remus lightly traced her fingers resting on the bench with his own, all while watching her with a smile; he noted that the blush rose up to her cheekbones and that her high-collared midnight blue robe failed at hiding it. She removed her hand from his tender touch and quietly cleared her throat. She looked over at him and smiled. Remus smiled back and then brought his attention to everyone else at the table.

He locked eyes with Dumbledore who just nodded at him. He gulped, knowing that Dumbledore had known his feelings for Claire all along. Next, he spied Snape glowering at everyone, as usual. He was surprised Snape was even present at the dinner as he normally avoided these types of things. Moody and Tonks were serving themselves and Kingsley was telling Claire a story, making her laugh in the process. As the food went around to everyone and the wine was poured, everyone started to enjoy themselves even more. There was an increase in laugher and joviality. Remus was toasted with "good luck" on his mission and was teased about "going wild" by some of the less formal members of the Order. Remus laughed good-naturedly, but deep down was afraid that he would become "wild" and never be able to rejoin the civilized world he has always been used to.

As the evening progressed, the mismatched candles burned low and the House-elves came to pick up the empty plates. Moody and Kingsley headed off with Dumbledore to his office; they had matters to discuss about security in Hogsmeade. Snape had disappeared as soon as dinner had finished, not that this had surprised Remus. Tonks was sitting by the main fireplace writing a letter which left Remus along with Claire at the table. She turned to face him.

"So, how are you really feeling about this mission? Are you nervous?"

"I think before any mission we all have our fears, but there isn't anything for me to fear that I haven't already done several times before," Remus replied. He did not want to tell Claire that he feared losing his control, his humanity, while in the pack. She may be alright with his werewolf status, but he did not want to press his luck.

"Hmm, that's true. I guess I never really thought about it that way. You know, I'm going to miss you while you are gone, there's no one else like you." She turned again, looking away from him towards the fireplace. Remus was stunned; he had not expected any sort of confession from Claire. He had figured his adoration was uneven against any affection she may have.

"I'm really going to miss you, too," he replied softly. He slowly leaned in towards her to whisper in her ear, "there's no one like you, either." Claire turned at this, speechless, and looked at Remus with wide eyes. He resisted the urge to kiss her; he did not want to completely destroy the resolve he was slowly chipping away at.

She looked away, down and then back up at him, just as she told him that she had to go to bed. She was feeling tired from her busy day. Not wanting to keep her, Remus slid out from the bench, allowing her to exit. She took his hand as she stood and had him start to walk with her to her room. When they reached the heavy oak door she let go of his hand, looked at him thoughtfully, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Instinctively, Remus wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him. As she reached up to kiss him, he leaned in towards her. They kissed, and Remus could feel a surge of excitement and energy pulse through him with every moment. He pulled her tighter to himself, deepening the kiss while doing so. Claire responded in kind, playing her tongue against his and running her hand up into his hair.

Breathlessly, they parted, both surprised at their actions. Remus knew that whatever decision he had made in the past was completely out the window after that kiss. He could see that Claire felt the same, as she smiled and backed towards her door. When it opened, she disappeared inside and closed the door quietly. Remus turned and walked towards his room, his head spinning with emotion. He wanted to go back there, knock on her door and see what Claire would do, but the other part of him did not want to muddle things up with emotion right before he left.

The next day Remus spent in Dumbledore's office and all of the final details for the mission were put into place. Remus would portkey to London, then to Calais, and finally to Chamonix near Mont Blanc. The reason for so many transitions was due to the great distance between Hogwarts and the last city before the trek into the wilderness. The pack was located in the mountainous area near Mont Blanc and all Remus was equipped with was his supply of Wolfsbane potion, a portkey back to Calais, as well as a medium-sized bag of floo powder. Dumbledore made it clear that Remus was to use it to contact the Order for updates, but could use it for assistance or recreation as well. Remus stiffened at this; he was not expecting to make any sort of frivolous communications while away. He did not want to risk the Hogwarts floo being compromised. He voiced his concern to Dumbledore, who just chuckled and reassured him that there was nothing to fear, and that the floo would not be compromised.

Remus missed dinner that evening as he was packing in his room. He packed a few changes of clothes as well as some books that he planned on shrinking upon his arrival in Haute-Savoie; heavy packs were not easy to carry in the rough terrain. He packed up a lot of the remaining clothes and books in the shelves and armoire in the room. He did not want to leave a mess in case someone had to clear out his belongings. Remus left his room and made his way to the kitchens for something to eat; it was quite late at the time, nearly ten o'clock at night. After a small sandwich, he made his way back to his room.

He looked over at Claire's door as he quietly opened his. Something stirred inside him; he realized that he had not seen or spoken to her all day. He was about to enter his room, not wanting to disturb her at this hour, when he was suddenly struck with the thought that this could be the last time he saw her, ever. He did not want any regrets, so he made his way to her door and knocked softly. After a moment the door opened a few inches. Claire looked at Remus, puzzled for a moment, and then opened the door more. Seeing her in her lilac night gown, he instantly felt horrible for disturbing her when she was clearly in bed. He decided to make this short and sweet.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you; I see you were in bed. I... I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave. I'm not exactly sure when I'll be back, and... and I didn't want to go without seeing you one last time. One last time before I go, that is," Remus stammered his explanation at her.

Claire softly smiled and said, "you're not disturbing me at all, I was just reading in bed. I had hoped I would see you before you go." She opened the door more and gestured for Remus to enter. He entered her room and felt the breeze of the door shut behind him. He felt awkward being in her private quarters, but at the same time he did not want to ever leave.

Shifting on his feet, he looked at Claire who was gazing back at him expectantly and when his eyes met hers he knew he had to blurt out his feelings or else be tormented until he saw her again, if he did.

"I want you to know that you are very special to me, and I am going to miss you immensely. I fear that I won't see you anymore after this moment, and I adore you to the point where I think I'm in love with you." Remus sighed after he finished his speech, expecting to be turned out of her room at any moment. Cautiously he looked up at Claire, who had a stunned expression on her face.

"I think I love you, too," she softly whispered.

Remus moved towards her as she moved towards him, where they met and kissed sweetly. He held her against him, wanting to be as close to her as possible. Claire clung on to him just as fervently. As their kiss broke apart, he looked into her eyes and saw the same love and the same need and desire that he had. He kissed her again, deeper this time, and she responded just as eagerly. She pushed him back against the door, which he reached behind himself and locked. There was no part of him that planned on leaving her at this moment, no part of him that wanted to leave her, ever. As he backed them towards her bed, their kiss broke apart and she started to unfasten his robes and slid them off of his shoulders. He had one hand on her back, which pressed her against him as he continued to move her towards the bed. The other hand was moved from her neck to her shoulder, as he tried to kiss her again. His fingers played lightly over the soft fabric of her nightgown.

He let his robes fall to the floor and removed the rest of his clothing, Claire followed suit, and backed up onto the bed as Remus quickly joined her. They continued their caresses and physical expressions without a care, except for one moment where Remus saw the bright pink scars on her abdomen from her injuries. Softly he kissed them, and he resolved himself to give her as much pleasure as he could; he wanted to make up for the pain of the injuries. Eventually, they slept, Claire pressed against him by his loving arms. Remus hoped and dreamed that the night never ended and that morning never came.

It did, however, come far too soon.