Until This Day

Darling, I'm killed.

I'm on a puddle on the floor.

Waiting for you to return.

Tears stream down my cheeks. I'm numb to the world. I only want to see you, be held by you, feel your pain, as you realize I will not return. Blood streams from my robes, and I lay as limp as a rag doll. The sunlight streams in from the window and illuminates my hair to life. Wishing me to live. But I only grip to life to see your face.

Oh, what a thrill...

Vacillations good lord...

How you tease, how you leave me to burn...

I look back, remembering how forbidden you were. How much I wanted to touch you because I knew my brothers would never forgive me. I loved the thrill, the danger, and by God, why were you so alluring? My mind wavers a moment, the room spinning. I renew my grip. I will see your face; I will see your pain, as you know you should have held me more close and not have joked so much against me.

It's so deadly, my dear...

The power of wanting you near...

You were always so damn alluring. You knew that and that is your comfort; your mystery draws women into your death like embrace, like I have been pulled in, and die now. But I love you. It is very poisoned, after wanting you so badly, but you always leaving me, to calm your wife's fears and only to comfort me when I threatened to reveal our secret. Our very special secret, the night I found you in your hotel room. Why was the desire so strong? I fought it then failed... Oh let me see your face so I can die and be rid of these horrid memories.

Darling, you won...

It's no fun...

I want to know why you led me on. Why you chose to break me, when you know I would not. I could only shatter with my delicate soul, especially after what Tom did to me. You know what Tom did; you spent a night calming my nightmare... and more. But it'd be absurd to say you loved me, you never knew how to love...

Martinis, girls, and guns...

It's murder on our love affair...

You can't deny you were married to someone. But you can't say you were happy with her... or any of the others, either. You've been with so many other women, you can't keep track, and wouldn't want to. You would bury them under those damned drinks that always were around you and gave you such a wonderful taste; like the fruit that I see and want so badly, but am not allowed to taste. But you loved me and you can't deny it. I was more forbidden then any other woman you had been with. My family made me forbidden. He made me forbidden. You were always finding forbidden things, and you loved the thrill yourself. You can't deny that either. Not with those nights of passion, mind being blissfully blank, just falling into the temptation. But I do not want to be remembered as the forbidden fling. I want to feel your anguish.

You bet your life...

Every night...

While you chase every morning light...

Why did you have to risk everything? I would not mind you losing your wife, but risking your life every night frightened me in only ways I never knew. I never expected you to come back to my home again and again, and I never expected waking up to see you gone... Not knowing if you'd ever come back, come back to calm me, to calm my fears, to harness my love.

You're not the only spy out there...

It's so deadly, my dear...

The power of wanting you near...

Why did you have to turn spy? I wish I saw you right now so I could kill you, kill you for doing this to me and my life. My life would not be fading away if it were not for you. You never loved you wife and He knew it well. I want to know why you didn't push me away. You knew it would happen. I suppose you expected me to come for comfort then leave. But I stirred your soul. Especially when I was crying about my nightmare like a schoolgirl... then the passion. The cryptic, tempting passion that is always so overwhelming. The kind you ask questions about, but never get a reply. You did not expect the change so quickly, or from me. And I knew it. I called your bluff. And so did He.

Until the day...

What I would do to you if I had the strength... and if you were here. Please come. I know you. You know something is wrong. But how long will you stay away, trying to hide from the truth? You know it is today. You have known it was coming... just as I did, or will.

Until the world falls away...

I close my eyes to keep the world from moving. I do not know how long I will last if you do not appear soon. The world behind my eyes is blinking slightly and I am losing the invisible grip on my strength. It will fade so quickly when I let go, just as I will.

Until you say there will no more goodbyes...

My chin is lifted; I feel a hand at my neck to check my pulse. My heart is beating very, very slowly. My eyes open. You're here. God, you look so sad, so pained, so... anguished. I smile weakly, I could let go now, and my life would be gone. But I want to hear your words, your fear... You pick up my limp form gently and almost as if you're terrified you'll lose me. Your voice breaks. "Ginny..."

I see it in your eyes...

The flame in my eyes is fading and I am dying. I see your eyes; you are anguished because you know the sad truth as well. I curse myself. Why did I ever wish you pain? I love you too much to want to hurt you... But you brought this upon yourself, you should have pushed me away, hurt me a little then hurt me more now. Hurt me so much to my death... or maybe that was Him... I don't remember who caused the cuts on my arms, the blade in my chest just near enough my heart to make me shudder with pain every time I took a breath, but far enough to let it beat. I would be hurting myself if I could move, because of these bloody thoughts. I know it's not your fault and I should not blame you. I vaguely feel new tears gliding down my cheek. You never meant for me to be murdered... or for me to go to you. I see now why it was forbidden.

Tomorrow never dies...

I mumble. It's not your fault, you did not mean for this to happen. Do not blame yourself. You can barely hear my words that slur out of my mouth, with the blood that spills between of my lips and leak down my chin. You seem beyond tears, your breathing strained as if you could not bear to lose me. I wanted this so bad and now I wish I hadn't. I love you so, Draco, I did not want you to be so pained...

Until the day...

Today is that day. I know there is no way you could have protected me. I knew He would have come, unusually choosing a knife to inflict the most pain. I suppose he wanted my body to be as battered as possible to break your heart. He knew you were a spy, love you should have not gone. You shared something with me, something so dear... you knew as well as I did this would be my last day. I have known my whole life I would not live past my age of 23, past the 21^st hour of the day, past this very moment. And you knew too.

Until the day...

Don't be so sad, my dear Draco. I love you with all my being. I wish we had a child you could see, because I see her so easily. She's standing here with us... don't you see her? She has your dark gray eyes that always were mysterious and my light and airy red hair. Tears slip down her face silently. Actually, she looks slightly happy. As if I'm going to come home... Oh, Draco... Draco...! Was I pregnant? Was she killed when He ran his blade up my stomach, then stabbing and poking into my abdomen? Is this child I see her? I wish I were stronger. I have trouble thinking, and my garbled words mean nothing to you. Oh please, Draco, be strong, strong for me and for my family and for you. You are the most important. I fade slowly away; I can hear your cries for me to stay still, to stay with you, to hold on. I struggle to bring up an arm to touch your lips. Blood smears on them. I whisper two audible words. "'Bye... love..." The sun finally dipped into the dark horizon. In that sunset, I died. Because I saw all I needed. I saw your face.

Until this day.