Fate of Awakening Love

Fate of Awakening Love

Chapter 3 - Of Singing and Snogging

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose

Once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me light.

~Sarah McLachlan

It was well past midnight, judging by the position of the moon outside, but Hermione was still awake, as Draco slumbered in the four-poster. She'd gotten up and sat in the chair by the window to stare out over the grounds that were a thousand years younger than when she would normally stare out at them if she couldn't sleep. Even if she'd wanted to sleep, she wouldn't sleep in the same bed as Draco. Not only did she not trust him (he was in Slytherin, for Merlin's sake!--not to mention a Malfoy) but she wasn't about to sleep in the same bed as hers, Harry's and Ron's sworn enemy when she'd only been on decent speaking terms with him for a day.

Thunder rolled lazily across the sky from a distance, and as Hermione peered further out the window, she could see the approaching clouds heading from the mountains. She sighed heavily and sat back in the chair, crossing her arms over Rowena's chest, crossing her legs at the knee, glancing over at Draco's sleeping form--or, rather Farieni's. He was frowning--no surprise there--subconsciously, Farieni's brown hair falling over his face, the pale moonlight illuminating it. Hermione's expression deepened as she stared at Draco--It's Farieni, not Draco--wondering if Farieni was like him at all, or if Rowena's mannerisms and such were like hers. If she really was the reincarnated soul of Rowena, she would have to share some traits, right?

But what if you're wrong, and you're not the reincarnation of Rowena?

I'm never wrong, bragged a second voice in the back of Hermione's head, that made her squirm in the chair.

Oh, you've been wrong before.

"Shut up!" she hissed, mortified, (though she had no reason to be) and got up, grabbing a large dressing gown off the back of a chair and charging out of the room before she went and did something rash--she didn't know what, but she was bound to go crazy if she was stuck in the room with Draco Malfoy any longer--no matter whose body he was occupying. For some odd reason, she couldn't get the way he'd sounded after she'd more or less told him they were forced to be husband and wife for however long it took to go back in time to retrieve the sword.

"You mean I have to pretend to be your husband?"

Hermione suddenly grinned and started laughing. She didn't know exactly why, but knew part of it was because she could do what she wanted to Draco during this time...and she would have an excuse. She could just picture the look on his face (oddly not Farieni's face either) if she just--no, she could never do that to anyone. Besides, that seemed like the sort of thing Lavender and Parvati would do. She wouldn't pretend to be a rich, simpering wife drooling over him all the time--Rowena Ravenclaw wasn't that type of woman and neither was she.

Taking her seat on one of the rocks by the lake, she hummed the beginning of a song and softly started singing.

What ravages of spirit?

Conjure this temptuous rage

Created you a monster

Broken by the rule of love

And fate has led you through it

You do what you have to do

Oh, and fate has led you through it

You do what you have to do

She was singing, so she couldn't hear the light footsteps on the grass behind her or the rustling of the bushes by the lake.

I have the sense to recognize

That I don't know how to let you go

And she continued singing, growing louder in the appropriate spots but staying true to her quiet singing voice, which she had never let anyone hear--she wanted something that was hers, and only hers, something that no one else could take away.

Glowing ember burning hot, burning slow

Deep within I'm shaking by the violence

Of existing for only you

I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do--

She paused as Draco sat down next to her on the rock, and immediately stopped singing.

"What's that?" he asked quietly, and she shrugged, picked up a pebble and turned it over and over in Rowena's fingers.

"Just a song."

"It's not just a song. Otherwise you wouldn't be singing it. It's got to have a name."

"Well, since you're being difficult," Hermione sighed, "it's by Sarah McLachlan, and it's called 'Do What You Have to Do.' But I don't know why you care so much."

"Because you have a pretty voice," said Draco, "and it's not Rowena's. It's yours."

"You don't know that--"

"Face it, Hermione, we both know we sound like ourselves still, whether or not the people here have realized it or not." There was another quiver in the bushes by the lake, and both Hermione and Draco looked at them, and a squirrell came bounding out of the leaves, shooting across the grounds and disappearing into the dark night. More thunder rumbled and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. If anyone had heard their conversation they would probably have their heads.

Literally.

Suddenly Hermione felt two fingers brush against her cheek and tuck a lock of hair that had come loose from the messy braid she'd plaited down her back behind her ear, and she turned to look at Draco/Farieni. He was staring at her with a very odd look in Farieni's chocolate eyes. Not love--Merlin, no, nothing like that--but perhaps...respect. Yes, that seemed like it. Like he finally understood....

Hermione stood up suddenly, and started back to the castle.

"I get the bed this time," she called over her shoulder.

..::*::..

"Of course Aspasia was a witch. They didn't have too many educated women in ancient Greece--even in the Golden Age of Athens--but if a woman was that smart, chances are that she was a witch. It is known for a fact Aspasia was." Hermione looked around the classroom and smiled.

"Any more questions? Then I assume you know your assignment, on pages two forty-seven, and two forty-eight, questions twenty-three to thirty-eight. Good day." The bell (then on the highest tower, which the caretaker rung at the end of class) sounded and as the students filed out of the room, Draco struggled into the room and sat on top of the front row of desks (it was their lunch break).

"How are you doing in terms of teaching things they have no idea will happen in the next millenia? Or rather, not teaching those things?"

"It's really weird, I have to catch myself when I'm about to say something about McGonagall--or, about Voldemort." She sighed. "Lucky you don't have any classes."

"Yeah, well, you think walking around in these things are exactly comfortable?" he tugged at the white breeches he wore beneath his tunic.

"Well, welcome to the Middle Ages. Speaking of, I really despise chamber pots." He laughed then--a nice, deep laugh that Hermione would never have heard if they were still at Hogwarts--a laugh she would keep in her memory forever. She wondered if anyone had ever heard him laugh before.

"Have you found out anymore about the sword?" Draco burst out.

"HUSH! Keep your voice down! Just because we're Rowena and Farieni doesn't mean--"

"But I thought you were her reincarnation. Shouldn't this spark something in you that makes you remember?"

"Sure," she said unenthusiastically, crossing the room to the window, folding her arms over her chest. Draco hopped off the desk and walked over to her.

"I thought you were certain you were."

"Look," she whirled around to face him, "I didn't say I was sure--I thought and thought about it last night and I finally decided that I must've read something about her somewhere--I mean, even I can be wrong sometimes, as much as I despise to admit it." Draco sighed and raked a hand through Farieni's hair, which was down today.

"God, Hermione, I wish you'd have told me sooner."

"Yeah, well, the whole world doesn't revolve around you."

"Oh, you could've fooled me." Draco shot. Hermione made a sort of growling noise and pushed past him, rapidly gathering up stray sheafs of parchment, trying her best to ignore Draco, who was smirking at her from the corner--which didn't suit Farieni's face very well. Hermione found herself studying Farieni, chewing on her lower lip, not quite aware he was staring at her too. There was a deep look to his brown eyes, like he had a story to tell--one that had been woven through many years of hardships and obstacles, of great joys and great sorrows. Deep creases lined the sides of his mouth, though he was still young, reminding her of Remus Lupin.

She didn't realize Draco'd walked over to her until he was against her, his arm around her waist. She could feel his warm breath on her face, and she couldn't meet his eyes--not now, not while she couldn't think clearly--so she just settled on staring at his lips--and staring until she couldn't see them anymore because they'd covered hers, and suddenly nothing else in the world mattered--she didn't care that she'd just dropped the stack of separate sheets of parchment and they were now scattered all over the floor. She didn't care about the student that came back for an extra lesson and was now looking very uncomfortable in the doorway. She didn't care that this was supposedly forbidden--she, Harry Potter's best friend and a Muggle-born Gryffindor was kissing a notorious Slytherin whose father was currently a Death Eater and currently getting away with it.

Then, as if a heavy fog parted, her mind cleared and she did care about all of those things. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin her friendship with Harry and Ron (even as dense as Ron was most of the time) and especially by snogging Draco Malfoy. She pushed him away, tears shining hotly in her eyes, though she told herself that it wasn't like they were back in the present, where everybody knew their true selves and they weren't hiding behind their disguises, that no one would suspect anything, but...it still felt wrong. She got a sick feeling in her stomach, and quickly dropped to her knees on the floor to hide her emotions from Draco as she gathered up the papers while her mind flew with questions.

If I hated it so much, why did it feel so right? I was just lost in the moment, I think Farieni's cute, not Draco...not the way he's treated me for the past six years. But why would he have come onto me like that? Maybe he wasn't thinking...I mean, maybe he was just wanting to kiss Rowena and not me. Let's just hope that was the case.... But what if I don't want it to be the case?

"Professor?" she heard a timid voice behind her and stood, turning around to face a first year she had, whose name she didn't know. Hell, she hadn't even known a student was coming back during the lunch break.

"Yes, erm, yes?" she asked, clearing her throat and trying not to sniffle too much (she'd successfully blinked back her tears) because Draco was still standing behind her.

"I...am here for the lessons, but, er, if this is an unconvenient time, I can come back--"

"No, of course not, you're fine." Hermione swallowed. "J-just take a seat in the front row and I will come to help you in a little while. I just have to get this--er--rearranged." She turned and bumped into Draco, who was holding all of the papers in a neat pile in his hands.

"Oh, uh, thanks." she mumbled, not meeting his eyes. His hand beneath her chin lifted her face so she was staring up at him.

"Meet me by the lake at twelve." With that, he left, shoving the papers in her hand. She turned towards the student, feeling stunned.

"Uhm--let's get started, shall we?" she smiled.

***

A/N: If it's total crap, I'm sorry, but I was up until 2:00 this morning and started this in Biology class the other day, so forgive me, I was bored all the time when writing it. There'll be more action (both D/Hr and physical, fighting action) in later chappies. Please read and review. Thanks! ~Eowyn