Can\'t Live a Lie

Ginny stared at the candle on her bedside table. The flame flickered with the wind, making strange shadows on the walls and the empty bed next to her. Hermione had always been there, Ron in his room and Harry with him. But all three beds were empty. They left Ginny all alone, just her, her candle, and her prayers that they would make it home safe.

The silence of the house was eerie without them there, laughing, whispering secretively. The house was cold and lonely. Ginny's memories didn't make the loneliness any easier. She had pushed herself away from him. It was her fault now, not Harry's.

It was her last chance to talk to Harry before he left, her last chance to change his mind. How had it gone so terribly wrong?

'Harry, wait,' she said as the three of them headed down he drive.

They stopped and looked back. Harry looked at Ron and Hermione, muttering something to them. They nodded and continued down the drive. Harry, however, came back to Ginny.

He stopped in front of her. 'Why do you have to leave?' she asked desperately.

'I can't tell you that, Ginny,' he said, just as he had told her so many times.

'Harry, you don't have to go,' she said. 'Leave it for the Order.'

'Ginny, I'm part of the Order. They all seem to understand what I have to do. Why can't you?'

'Because I don't think I know how to live without you,' she said sadly.

'You don't have to live without me,' Harry said, taking her hand. 'Wait for me. If I come back from the war, tell me you'll be here waiting for me.'

Something came over Ginny with that proposal, something that Ginny hated herself for.

'I can't wait for you,' she snapped. 'It's now or never, Harry.'

'Why can't you understand?' Harry pleaded. 'This is something I have to do.'

'No, you don't,' she said forcefully. 'You don't owe this to anyone. This isn't your war. Just because you've been lucky enough to make it past him so many times--'

'Don't you see, Ginny?' Harry bellowed. 'I'm the Boy-Who-Lived. I'm The Chosen One. I'm the one who's supposed to save the world.'

'No, everyone expects you to save the world,' Ginny told him, 'because you always work your way into trouble. You act the hero! You give everyone a reason to rely on you to save them.'

'You're wrong. This really is something I must do, Ginny. Can you just trust me?'

'Fine,' Ginny said finally. 'Fine. Go after him. Go after the greatest wizard in--'

'Dumbledore's the greatest wizard--'

'Dumbledore's dead, Harry!' Ginny roared, mustering up all of her anger and bravery. 'So, go after Voldemort. Go after him and get yourself killed! Maybe then you'll realise that I'm right!'

Harry stared at her before shaking his head and turning away. He headed down the drive again and Ginny was left alone.

Silence rung in Ginny's ears. The sound of absolutely nothing scared her. It brought her back to her first year at Hogwarts, being possessed, hearing nothing as she did terrible things...

Answering her prayers, a crash came from the kitchen. She was sure no one else had heard it. It hadn't been that loud, only loud to someone who was listening for something, anything.

Ginny crept downstairs, her wand at the ready. If there was one thing she had learned from the real Mad-Eye Moody, it was that you should always be prepared for the worst.

It turned out that there really wasn't anything to worry about. There was, however, something to be rather excited about. Ron was repairing the teacup he had broken upon Apparating. He spotted her immediately and in an attempted apology and to prove he wasn't an impostor, he said, 'Fred and George were right. Apparating is harder in the dark.'

Ginny smiled and hugged him. He was very dirty, and smelt rather bad, but she didn't care. It had been so long... too long.

'What are you doing here?' she whispered, pulling away to survey him. It was only then that she realised that there was a rip in his pants leg and he was bleeding badly.

'Listen, Ginny, Harry left something here before we left,' Ron explained quickly, but Ginny was still staring at his leg. 'It's nothing,' he reassured her. 'He left a locket here. Do you know where it is?'

Ginny nodded and led Ron upstairs to her room. She opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out a gold locket. 'I read the note,' Ginny said honestly. 'I don't really understand, but I thought I should let you know that I have a theory.'

'Regulus Black,' the two of them said in unison.

'Hermione figured it out,' Ron said in a hurry. 'She just needs to see the note and see if there's any hint to where it could be.'

'She hasn't already figured it out?' Ginny said amusedly. 'It's at headquarters--or, at least, it was when we were cleaning out the drawing room.'

'The locket that no one could open...' Ron muttered. 'You're brilliant, Gin.'

Ginny grinned. 'Someone has to be.' She walked Ron downstairs and to the door.

'Tell Mum and Dad that we're all doing great,' Ron said. 'And we send our love, Hermione especially.'

'Tell Hermione that it's not the same without her here,' Ginny said in return. 'And tell Harry...' Her mind went numb just thinking about him. She wasn't sure what to say anymore. 'Tell him that I miss him, and I didn't mean what I said.'

Ron smiled slightly. 'He'll be glad to hear it.'

Ginny hugged Ron again and kissed him on the cheek.

'We'll be home soon,' Ron said, opening the door. 'I promise.'

Ginny watched as he headed down the drive again, knowing that he would Disapparate at any moment.

Ginny slipped her hands inside the pockets of her bathrobe and felt a piece of parchment. She gasped and pulled it out. Her heart beat terribly in her chest. This was her last chance.

Ginny yanked the door open. 'Ron!' she called.

He stopped and turned to face her. Ginny dashed over to him, holding out the parchment. 'Give this to Harry,' she said, gasping for breath.

Ron took the parchment, staring at it, folded up in his hand. He nodded at last and, with a wink of his eye, Disapparated.

Ginny remained outside for a few moments, unsure of what to do. For a few precious minutes, she had had her brother back. And then he was ripped from her grasp again.

She wondered where the three of them were now. On their way to Grimmauld Place, no doubt, a little voice in the back of her head said.

Ginny smiled, thinking of Harry's face as he read the piece of parchment. He would smile; he would know that everything would be OK.

I can't learn to live without

And I can't give up on us now

I know I could say we're through

And tell myself I'm over you

But even if I made a vow:

I promise not to miss you now

And try to hide the truth inside

I'd fail 'cause I just can't live a lie

* * * * *