Shown Like the Sun

Chapter 1

And I'll probably feel a whole lot better when you're gone...

--The Byrds

***

Althea sat across from Sirius in the entrance hall in her Bermuda home. His hopeful expression had faded. For almost thirteen years she had waited for this moment--to confront him about the circumstances of that Halloween night--but she sat before him a sobbing mess. Yes, I love you, she thought, wiping her eyes as Sirius stared at her strangely. I love you, but I can't say it. I shouldn't say it.

"Althea, I don't--"

"No," she said firmly and inhaled a deep breath. "No--just--don't--"

"I don't--"

"Don't touch me!" she shouted and covered her face with her hands--her tears collecting and trickling down the lines of her palms. "Just go," she murmured, refusing to remove her hands. "Just go!"

She could hear Sirius sigh and imagined him running his fingers through his hair, attempting to make sense of her answer. He probably thinks I'm mad, she thought, the tip of her nose wet from tears and the sweat of her hands. You've lost your nerve. You're just as Gran predicted--a sobbing idiot.

"I said go!" she shouted, quickly lowering her hands as she looked at him.

Disgusted with the situation and herself for remaining, Althea--determined--quickly walked the entrance hall, up the staircase, and to her bedroom--shutting the door with such force that the centuries old walls rattled, dropping a portrait of her parents onto the wooden floor. She cringed at the sharp cracking sound of the breaking glass as it struck the floor, and wiped her eyes of new tears.

"Oh, no," she whimpered, looking at the shattered picture frame--large and small pieces of glass strewn about the floor.

Look, look what he caused me to do, she thought as she stooped to pick up the broken picture frame. She caressed the broken picture frame of her parents on their wedding day as they continued to smile and to laugh in the photograph. I'll mend this later, she thought, realizing her wand was downstairs. Sighing, she looked up at her door, knowing that Sirius remained where she left him. She did not want to retrieve her wand while Sirius lingered.

"Ow!" she yelped--quickly, but awkwardly pulling her hand back from the picture frame. The cut on her thumb stung and dully throbbed with pain, her blood bright red. "Bugger all," she muttered, examining her wound for small shards of glass.

Pressing her other thumb to the wounded thumb, Althea held out her hand as she quickly walked to the bathroom. Wrapping her thumb in a few pieces of toilet paper, she hastily searched for Silver's Swift Styptic Powder in the sink cupboard. How could this day become worse, she thought as she glanced at the toilet paper soaked through with her blood. Where is it? As she was about to growl in frustration, she found the jar of yellow powder behind a half empty shampoo bottle. Opening the jar, she sprinkled the yellow powder onto her thumb and yelped as the wound hissed and stung--the blood drying and sloughing off--her wound healed. She tossed the blood-soaked toilet paper into the dustbin and frowned as she stood.

"Bloody hell," she murmured, looking at her sink counter.

Sirius had arranged his things just as he did almost thirteen years ago--his toothbrush not in its proper place (no matter how much she had tried to convince him to do so) and the toothpaste, squeezed from the middle and opened--a small, blue glob dried onto her counter. Instinctively, Althea rolled her eyes, placed the toothbrush in its proper place, and recapped the toothpaste.

"Honestly, Sirius, I know the house-elf didn't recap your toothpaste--" she remarked and gasped, refusing to finish her remark on Sirius's laziness.

God, I never thought I'd utter that remark again, she thought, rubbing her forehead. He'll never learn though--stop it! Stop reminiscing about Sirius! Look, he shows you no consideration even to this day! Frustrated, she grabbed the jar of shaving cream, retracted her arm to throw it, but thought better of it. I don't have my wand to clean that mess, she thought, and slowly placed the jar onto the counter.

Althea sat on the edge of her bathtub and ran her fingers through her hair, sighing at her situation. Her eyes slowly scanned her bathroom as she tapped her fingers against the white, porcelain tub. Preparing himself for her? According to Remus, Sirius had spent the week preparing himself for her arrival. As if a hair cut, clean teeth, and new clothes would allow me to take you back, she thought, as she spotted his comb and brush on her sink counter. No, you can do whatever you need to do to hide the fact that you escaped from Azkaban, but it does not hide the fact that I let you rot there. She had done nothing. She should have forced her deposition on the Ministry instead of letting it remain in her dustbin; she should have fought for him. She knew him better than almost anyone--well, at least she thought she did; Remus had proved how much she did not know. She had failed him and she believed she could never forgive herself for it. Why did she ever believe he could do those horrible things? It made it easier to justify my hatred for myself, she thought, taking his soap in her hands--her fingertips rubbing against the smooth, slippery bar. His soap--the same brand of soap he used almost thirteen years ago. I didn't realize they still made this soap, she thought, and inhaled its spicy, warm scent. I haven't had to buy it since he left.

Althea frowned as she looked at the soap in her hand. "Stop it," she said firmly and tossed the bar of soap into the bathtub as she stood.

You've spent almost thirteen years forcing yourself to hate him, she thought as she stood in the doorway that led to her bedroom. Now it is okay to love him? Her eyes looked to her honey-colored, wooden dresser drawers open and full of his clothes--trousers, shirts, and robes. Those are my drawers, she thought, indignant that he would use her drawers. He thinks that I'd willingly welcome him back! As if nothing has happened, as if all will be happy now that I know he's innocent. Those are my drawers not our drawers. In a huff, she collected his clothes from the drawers and threw them to the floor--one of his shirtsleeves falling across her foot. She violently kicked it off her foot and threw herself back onto her bed...her unmade bed.

Althea covered her face with her hands and growled as she kicked her legs against the bed. It's my bed, he has no right to it, she thought, slamming her fists against the bed. What else has he used?

"He thinks he can come back and stay as if nothing ever happened," she said aloud as she looked toward her ceiling. "He uses my bath, my drawers, and sleeps in my bed.... Does he expect me to cook for him too?"

Althea caught her breath as she heard the deliberate footsteps of Sirius pass her bedroom door. Don't you dare think of knocking, she thought, lifting herself onto her elbows. Sirius walked by her door and she heard him loudly sigh.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius said guiltily. "Here, let me help you."

He's a thirty-four year old man, and you still call him Moony, she thought, frowning as she listened closely. He's not fifteen.

"Thanks, Padfoot," Remus replied.

Althea threw her head back. Padfoot? Nothing has changed between them, she thought, lifting her head. How can that be? Unlike you, Althea, Remus doesn't have many friends.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just a bit of a headache," Remus answered and laughed uncomfortably.

"Sorry, mate."

"No, no," Remus replied and Althea heard them walking toward her door. "I should have warned her before--"

"I know her, she would never have come."

Know me? You don't know me, she thought, narrowing her eyes at the door. "Oh, how this was planned!" she whispered heatedly and stuck out her tongue.

He's right though, she thought, frowning weakly. I wouldn't have come.

"God, she's beautiful," Sirius said and sighed. "I need her back. I love her."

Althea caught her breath as her stomach twisted upon itself. He still loves me? After all that has happened--that I didn't try to free him--he still loves me, she thought as she sat up and massaged her bare abdomen. Bloody hell, I still have the bikini on.

"My clothes are out there," she murmured and sneered.

"She's not married, then?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"No," Remus sighed as if Sirius had asked this question on multiple occasions.

"She isn't?"

"No," Remus laughed lightly.

"Does she...have a boyfriend?"

"What are we, thirteen?" she sighed.

"No," Remus sighed, "no boyfriend."

"Fiancé?"

"No, Sirius," Remus laughed and Althea imagined Remus shaking Sirius by the shoulders. "Honestly, there is no one."

"I can't believe it.... I mean, she such a beautiful woman--are you sure?"

"Very sure.... She's probably by the door listening to us."

"On my bed," she whispered.

"Let her," Sirius snorted. "She deserves a man to love her--"

"And you're the one," she sighed and frowned anxiously.

"--properly love her," Sirius continued--his voice facing the door.

"I'd stand away from the door, she might open it and hex you."

"She doesn't have her wand," Sirius explained and she imagined him grinning. "She left it downstairs when she couldn't tell me that she loved me."

"Bastard!" she whispered heatedly and looked for something on her bed to throw toward the door, but found nothing.

"You love me, Althea, I know you do," Sirius said, resting his hand against the doorknob--the doorknob turning slightly.

Althea took a quick breath and scrambled to cover herself with her pale blue duvet.

"I love you too."

Althea rushed to the door and opened it for him. "Go away," she said, looking into his eyes.

A small smirk developed across Sirius's face as he looked from her face to the overstuffed duvet around her.

"What?" she asked defensively, tightening the duvet around her.

Sirius picked a goose feather that jutted out from the duvet and twirled it in his fingers. "Why are you wearing this?"

"I'm not properly dressed," she replied, adjusting the duvet as it fell to expose her shoulder.

"There's no need," he replied casually and tossed the feather aside. "We've all seen your breasts."

Althea's frown deepened. "Some more recently than others," she replied coolly, her eyes flickering over Sirius' shoulder to Remus.

Remus frowned and Althea felt a small satisfaction.

Her eyes returned to Sirius' smug expression. "What do you want?" she asked shortly.

"My clothes," he answered and looked over her shoulder. "I see you've found them--oh, and the other items, in your bath, of course."

"Of course," she agreed and turned to fetch his things.

Althea collected his clothing into large heap in her arms and walked toward the bathroom. Careful not to drop an item, she collected his other things--the toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, brush, comb, shampoo, and--she almost forgot--his soap. I should save the soap to throw at his head, she thought darkly as she struggled to place it on the pile.

"I can manage," she snapped as she walked by Sirius and then Remus.

"Althea, really, let me help--"

"No need, Sirius," she said, stopping at the staircase.

She smiled as she heaved the large pile of clothes and other items down the staircase--the soap and heavier items tumbling to the bottom of the stairs.

"There," she said brightly as she turned toward the two. "Now, sod off."

It was Remus who spoke first, "You know we can't leave, Althea. This is the safest place for Sirius. The Ministry won't find him here."

Althea frowned, awkwardly folding her arms with duvet. "Fine, then," she replied, "I'll leave."

Althea started to prepare her body to Apparate, but Remus grabbed her arm. "I wouldn't do that," he replied, securely holding her forearm. "Dumbledore has cast a few charms to prevent you from Apparating."

"Dumbledore is in on this?" she asked bitterly--her jaw tightening. "Is Gran a part of this too?"

Sirius laughed a loud, bark-like laugh.

Remus frowned at Sirius. "She doesn't know he's here--"

"My broom!" she interrupted proudly and looked downstairs to where she thought she left it.

"I hid it," Sirius replied and winked.

Althea shook Remus's hand from her forearm. "I'll transform," she replied resolutely and smiled.

"I'll clip your wings," Remus warned and Althea screamed with frustration. "Althea--Althea, really," he continued harshly, frowning at her. "This is the safest place for Sirius, you know that. He needs us; we're his only friends."

Sirius smiled sweetly beside Remus and Althea fought to keep her cold expression. "Fine," she muttered and Sirius's grin widened. "You're not staying in my room," she continued and rubbed her forehead. "Which room are you in, Remus?"

"The Yellow Room," he answered, pointing the door that Althea had cursed him against, knocking him unconscious. "Sirius would have taken the Green Room, but it's under refurbishment."

"Right," she murmured, realizing only one room remained. "Follow me," she said, walking between them.

The two followed Althea as she walked to the door at the opposite end of the corridor. Two summers before, she reclaimed the guestroom for expansion of her bedroom. Sirius would have to live in her childhood bedroom. Unlocking the door, she stepped inside--uncomfortable that Sirius would live in her childhood bedroom; however, not as uncomfortable as if he stayed in her bedroom. She had kept the room exactly as it was the night she discovered she would be attending Hogwarts--its dark wood furniture in contrast with the soft pink walls and the crisp white of the curtains and canopy. She fought a smile as she thought of Sirius sleeping underneath a duvet of embroidered pink rosebuds.

"It's very pink," Sirius remarked upon entering.

"Of course, it is," she replied, looking at picture of Lily and herself that rested on the writing desk, "I was eleven."

"It's better than a cave or the Forbidden Forest," he replied lightly and messed the back of his hair. "Softer too," he added, his hand patting the bed.

"Good. The bath is through that door," she explained, pointing toward a white door at the far end of the room.

"Thanks, I'll collect my things and bring them here," he replied and smiled. "Thank you," he added and held out his hand.

Althea did not take it. "Right," she replied and turned to leave.

"Althea," Sirius said, as she was about to walk through the doorway.

"Yes?" she asked, not turning to face him.

"Your wand, you left it downstairs," he replied as he walked toward her. "Here," he added, holding it over her shoulder.

"Thank you," she replied, taking her wand into her hand. "Goodbye."

Althea hastily walked the corridor--the majority of the overstuffed duvet trailing behind her. She heard Sirius slam his hand against the doorframe and mutter something to Remus about Althea being unreasonable. I'm not unreasonable, she thought as she levitated her trunk upstairs. I don't want him in my home, that's all. Althea followed her trunk into her bedroom, mended the broken picture frame, and decided that she did not want to swim anymore.

She wanted to spend a lonely evening in her room--no watching the first sunset from the widow's walk or taking a moonlit swim. I'm a prisoner in my home, she thought, entering her bathroom. Taking a jar of lavender-scented bubble bath from the sink cupboard, she generously poured the thick, purple liquid into the hot, running water and waited for the bathtub to fill. He's probably searching through my things, she thought, as she looked out the bathroom window onto the rose garden, listening to the sound of the water splashing into the bathtub. Tomorrow morning, she would pick a few of the roses and arrange them in a vase for her solarium. Damn, he'll find some of my old journals...Hogwarts journals. Althea cringed at what she might have written. If it is after fifth year, it is all about my undying, unyielding love for him, she thought as she turned off the water. Bugger all; he'll have a great laugh. Untying her bikini top and slipping off her bikini bottom, Althea gently slid into the hot, inviting bubble bath.

Althea blew bubbles off her hands and watched as they slowly floated down, merging with the other lavender bubbles. "Fantastic," she murmured--the hot water easing sore muscles.

It was a beautiful and mostly smooth broom flight to her Bermuda plantation home; however, she did encounter some trouble over northern Virginia--or at least Althea thought it was northern Virginia. A bit of turbulence jostled her trunk open, a few of her clothes falling to the ground below and landing on a Muggle streetlamp, a statue in the center of town, and the middle of a thirteen year old boy's birthday pool party. Althea decided not to retrieve the bra that fell into the birthday boy's lap, his mortified mother hastily snatching the bra from him. It was a new bra too, she thought, frowning slightly and she rested her head against the back of the bathtub. At least I enlivened a boring birthday party.

The warm Bermuda sun was slowly setting, creating various deep hues of yellow, orange, red, and purple over the silhouetted treetops. Althea imagined the stars and planets, glowing and twinkling with greater intensity as the evening passed. I should be out there watching it, not in here, she thought, looking out her bathroom window from her bathtub. I'm not in the proper part of the house to watch it. Althea closed her eyes and held her breath as she slid underneath the soapy water. He thinks I'm beautiful, she thought, as she could no longer hold her breath and surfaced. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed the wet hair away from her face. She looked at her knees, how they softly curved over the top of the bubbles, and to her hands, thin and with manicured nails, now resting on the sides of the bathtub. He thinks I'm beautiful...of course, he thinks I'm beautiful. He hasn't seen a woman in almost thirteen years, she thought and laughed to herself. He does ooze the charm still, doesn't he? I left Azkaban so angry, but he...I must mind myself. Althea lifted her feet out of the water and frowned--she did not like that nail polish at all.

"You've never had fat toes," Sirius said as he leaned against the bathroom doorframe.

Althea quickly dropped her feet into the water and attempted to modestly cover herself with her arms and hands. "Why are you here?" she asked shortly as Sirius continued to smirk.

"My soap," he answered, walking forward and Althea sank further into the back of the tub. "When you threw my items down the stairs, you forgot to throw my soap," he explained and sat on the edge of the tub, dipping his fingers into the bubbles.

"Get your hand out of my bath," she demanded coolly.

"I left it by the bathtub," he explained, shaking the excess bubbles from his hand. "I thought it might have dropped in."

Althea's foot felt something slippery and rectangular. She quickly reached underneath the water and produced his soap. How had she forgotten that she tossed it into the bathtub? I was so occupied, I probably forgot to look when I started my bath, she thought, lifting the soap out of the water.

"Here," she muttered, handing him his soap. "Now you can go."

"Right, thanks," he replied and winked.

"Goodnight," she replied and nodded for him to stand.

"Goodnight," he said and took one last look at her, sighed, and stood.

Hearing her bedroom door close, Althea covered her face with her wet hands. How had she forgotten his soap? She couldn't have...no, she did not forget his soap. She had taken his soap from the bath--it was the last thing, she almost forgot to retrieve it. She had that urge to keep it and throw it at him, but instead, threw it with the other items down the stairs. He brought the soap back. Althea quickly let her hands fall heavily into the bath--the soapy water splashing into her face. Wiping her face with her wet hands, she laughed uncomfortably at being fooled.

"I have to remember to lock my door."

***

Not another grey hair, she thought disappointingly as she stared at the top of her head in the mirror. Tapping the grey strand with her wand, it immediately returned to its raven color. Bloody hell, Sirius doesn't have grey hair, why should I?

"Because he's not like normal men, that's why," she murmured, combing her hair. "Normal men do not survive Azkaban for twelve years and normal men do not love ex-lovers that let them rot there," she explained, combing her hair with greater ferocity. "You're not in love with a normal man," she continued and slammed the comb against the table, "and that's not normal."

A gentle knock at the door triggered her to throw her head back in annoyance. Sirius or Remus, Althea, take your pick. He didn't walk straight in here; therefore, it must be Remus, she thought as she stood. Althea felt a small jolt of pride in her deduction as she opened the door. At least Remus is polite. The last face-to-face conversation the two had occurred as Remus was about the catch the train at Hogsmeade, and Althea expected the conversation to be just as awkward and heartbreaking.

"Hello," she said, attempting her best to sound unaffected.

Remus nodded and smiled slightly. "We've cooked supper," he replied, pointing in the direction of the stairs.

"I'll cook my own meals," she replied brusquely and added an awkward, "thank you."

"Right," he replied and smiled weakly. "It's there, though. Very good, actually."

Althea frowned. "How can you act as if this all doesn't affect you?" she asked, looking into his eyes.

His eyes flickered some emotion, but she could not determine what.

"You've betrayed me."

Remus sighed--a crease appearing between his eyebrows. "He needs you," he replied softly.

"And you don't?" she asked, folding her arms. "How many times a day do you repeat that Sirius needs Althea?"

"Don't, Althea," he replied in a hushed tone--his eyes looking from side to side.

"Stop denying yourself," she replied, moving closer.

Remus took a small step back. "I'm not."

Althea shook her head. "How can you change your emotions so easily? How can you easily suppress strong feelings?"

Remus took a deep breath before he spoke, "I've done it my entire life."

"It's wrong," she replied, feeling tears welling in the corners of her eyes. "You're willing to give up everything?" she asked, unfolding her arms and clasping her hands in front of her.

"I have."

"I don't understand," she murmured, looking at her clasped hands to Remus's face. "Doesn't it anger you or upset you that you could wake up in the middle of the night and hear Sirius and I make love? How could you roll over and sleep peacefully?" she asked, looking into his eyes. "I could never do so."

"Practice," he muttered quickly.

"What?"

Remus roughly ran his fingers through his hair. "What do you want me to say? 'I only made love to you because I wasn't in my right mind,' is that what you want me to say?" he asked, his voice slightly louder.

"If it makes you feel better," she answered and took a deep gulp of air as Remus frowned.

"Never mind," he replied and shook his head. "Supper is in the kitchen if you'd like it," he repeated and started to walk away.

"Goodbye, Remus," she replied and Remus was about to stop, but continued walking. "Unlike others, I always say goodbye," she added and knew Remus was frowning at her.