Ebb and Flow

Azkaban, November 1985

***

"What--what's going on? Where are you taking me! Let me go! Let me go!" Althea screamed as the dementors lifted her from her bed. "Let me go!"

Panicked, Althea struggled against the dementors to loosen their icy grips from her underarms. Oh God! Where are they taking me? Anywhere but that room, anywhere but that room, she thought, wiggling and kicking. Three months prior, the dementors forced the prisoners from their cells and led them down an eerie corridor to a large, decaying auditorium. Forced to sit, the prisoners watched as the dementors dragged onto the stage, a frightened, trembling man. Althea could remember his face--the tears flowing through the creases of his aged skin down into his grayed beard--as the dementors stopped him at the center of the stage. Herself shaking, she attempted to close her eyes, but somehow they were forced open and she watched--without blinking--the dementors surrounding him.

"You soulless bastards! Let me go!" she shouted as the dementors floated her toward the cell door.

The dementors tightened their icy grips as they glided her through the opened cell door. Don't think anything...don't think anything, she repeated, letting all thoughts drift from her mind. Thoughts made her weak, for the dementors fed on thoughts--all thoughts, not just happy thoughts. The happy thoughts were the first to leave--the easiest for the dementors to feast upon. The dark thoughts remained and were slowly nibbled upon, until no personal thoughts lingered, replaced by the evil, soulless urges of the dementors.

Althea numbly let the dementors guide her out of her cell and into the dark corridor. Another dementor, guarding Sirius's cell, unlatched the lock and opened the door. Immediately, Althea's body went rigid in an attempt to break free from the dementors; however, they tightened their grips as they drifted closer to his cell.

"Why are you taking me here?" she shouted and attempted to kick one of the dementors. "I have my own cell! Let me go!" she continued to protest as she grabbed onto the cell bars to stop the dementors from pushing her into his cell. "LET--ME--GO!" she shouted, attempting to hold onto the bars as the dementors continued to push her forward.

The slimy hand of the dementor touched her hand, which caused Althea to retract her arm in fear and disgust--allowing the dementors to push her into Sirius's cell. Althea flew forward--her arms and legs flailing about her--as she plummeted to the stone floor. With a loud thud, she landed against the cold stone floor, skidding slightly--her knees and forearms stinging from the impact. Breathing heavily, Althea attempted to sit up, but stopped as sharp pains radiated from her ribs--causing painful stings with each breath.

"Bitch," Sirius muttered from the darkened corner.

"Don't speak to me!" she blurted angrily as she pushed herself up with her shaky hands.

Sirius threw a pebble that hit Althea in the side of the head. "Oh, I have to hear you and your attempts to torture me," he said, and threw another pebble, which landed and rolled before her. "I don't want you in here--"

"I don't want to be in here with you!" she interrupted and forcefully threw the pebble into the darkness.

"You're pathetic--can't even throw a measly pebble at me," he replied, moving from the shadows. "Some murderess you are."

"I'll show you what sort of murderess I am!" she remarked and grunted as she leapt forward.

Sirius's eyes widened from shock as Althea leapt on top of him, knocking him back onto his mattress.

"I'll show you what sort of murderess!" she growled, tightening her hands around his thin neck.

Sirius opened his mouth and attempted to breath, but Althea increased the pressure on his throat.

"Just die already!" she shrieked.

Sirius's thin hands slid up Althea's arms to her own throat. No, just die, she thought as Sirius's hands tightened around her own throat. You die first. I won't let you win.... Just give me this--give me the satisfaction of killing you. Sirius lifted his leg and kneed her in the stomach, causing her to lose her grip and fall backward.

"NO!" she shouted as she rolled from the bed onto the floor. "No! No! No!" she repeated, slamming her palm against the stone floor. "You did it to me again...you always do it to me...you can't let me win!" she sobbed, collapsing to the floor.

"You're fucking mental," he murmured hoarsely.

"You murdered my best friend!" she shouted, quickly turning toward him.

"Why did they put you here?" he lamented, falling back onto his bed.

Althea wiped her eyes and sniffed loudly. "Do you think I want to be in here with you?" she remarked, pulling her knees to her chest. "I hate you!"

"Oh, poor ickle Kelly Derry having an ickle tantrum," he replied in a baby voice, turning on his side to face her. "Pout some more, Derry; you're not convincing enough that you're upset."

"Why did I ever love you?" she murmured to herself, deeply frowning.

"Love me? Oh, Derry, there's no love in Azkaban. Even if somehow you've managed it--which is very unlikely--your love is misplaced. I'm incapable of love--as you so like to point out when you're shrieking at me from your cell--and if I were, you can be assured I would never love you," he explained and scratched the side of his chin.

Althea studied Sirius as she rested her chin against her knees. He looked so calm, so bored with her and his surroundings. What would killing him accomplish? Nothing. She would strangle him and as she did so, he would stare at her with that smirk--that overconfident smirk that would judge her and mock her. "Really, Althea, is that the best you can do? Strangle me? You're not even doing it properly. You're useless as a witch, a lover, a mother, and a murderess. Honestly, is this your first kill?" the smirk would say, and as Althea would tighten her grip, his smirk would increase. No, if she wanted him dead, he would have to do it himself. Althea would only enhance his inevitable outcome.

***

"What do you want?" Sirius growled.

Althea laughed teasingly as she knelt in front of him. "Nothing, nothing," she said in a singsong voice. "Can't we just have this little chat?"

"No," he said and turned away from her.

Althea crawled behind him. "Don't you want to compare how we did it," she whispered in his ear as she slid her arm around his collarbone. "I preferred this method," she added and slid her other arm around his neck. "It was more intimate, you see.... Oh, you're tensing up just like they did," she finished and gestured slicing open his throat.

Sirius took hold of her arms and threw them off him. "You are sick," he said with disgust.

He stood and walked to the other side of the cell and sat down. Althea followed him and sat in front of him. This is too easy, she thought, kneeling in front of him.

"I've been called much worse," she began and paused, frowning with feigned thoughtfulness.

Sirius eyed her with the utmost suspicion.

"Tell me, how did you do it? How did you blow up all those Muggles?" she asked, slowly sliding her hands up his thighs--his muscles tightened underneath her palms.

Sirius shifted, pressing his back against the wall.

"You even killed a few children--not even I would do that," she whispered, leaning within inches of his face.

Sirius took is hand and placed it on her face--forcing her away from him. Althea fell backwards, catching herself with the backs of her arms as they hit the cold, damp stone floor.

"Why didn't they take your soul?" he muttered, frowning.

"Because I don't have one," she replied darkly. "It was taken from me a long time ago when Voldemort and his followers took everything away that I loved," she replied angrily as she sat up.

Sirius sneered. "Well, poor you--poor ickle Kelly Derry who lost everyone to Voldemort," he taunted. "You wouldn't be the first."

Althea leaned closer to him again. "No, I wouldn't, wouldn't I," she said, an evil grin forming across her face. "Harry Potter."

Her tongue caressed her front top teeth as she noticed Sirius's eyes water.

"What type of person would betray his own best friend? I wonder what he was thinking right before Voldemort killed him.... Do you wonder?" she asked and leaned closer toward him.

Althea glanced from his grim face down to his hands, clenched into tight fists--his knuckles white. Lifting his fists into her lap, with little effort she unclenched them, and slowly slid them up her torso to her neck.

"I know you want to," she said seductively as she placed his cold hands around her neck. "It won't take that long to kill me," she continued, staring into his dead eyes, "or aren't you man enough without your wand?"

For a moment, the two stared at one another, Sirius's hands twitching around her neck--tightening and loosening his grip.

"Come on, what are you going to do?" she asked as she lightly traced circles above his knee with the tip of her index finger. "Is strangling me a bit too Muggle?"

"Get away from me," he muttered and pushed her away from him.

Althea landed against the stone floor, laughing hideously. Sirius, ignoring her laughter, stood and walked to the cell bars. He stood with his back to her, his hands grasping the cell bars as he rested his forehead in between two of the iron bars.

Althea pushed herself off the ground and joined Sirius at the cell bars, resting her head against his bony shoulder. "And of course, the ultimate betrayal--handing your pregnant lover over to the Death Eaters," she said quietly, as she slid her arms around his waist.

She felt Sirius's abdomen tense underneath her arms.

You've forgotten what it was like for me to hold you, she thought and held him tighter, or did you never care.

"Would you like to know how they found her body?" she asked, and paused as Sirius caught his breath. "Wait, they never found her body...blown apart and all that was left was the baby," she continued as she felt his body shake as he cried softly.

Make him feel it, make him think I'm dead, she thought as he shook in her arms.

"I wonder what she thought.... Oh, I expect she was scared and confused. I suppose she wondered where you were and why you weren't protecting her," she continued wickedly, as Sirius shook violently against her--his sobbing continued, growing louder. "But of course, you always questioned the child's paternity...your lover had a certain affinity for werewolves," she finished as she slowly slid her hand to his groin. "Maybe you should have spent more time at home.... Look at how she repaid you--you, out saving the Wizarding world, and she, shagging some werewolf or God knows who, actually. Not surprising you had her killed."

Immediately, Sirius quickly turned to face her, held her by the upper arms, and threw her against the wall. Althea hit the wall with such force that it jolted her forward, causing her to lose her breath. Sirius held her against the wall, and Althea saw unbearable fury emerge across his gaunt face--his face tear-stained, his nose running, and the beautiful eyes that Althea once loved were red and swollen. Althea laughed maniacally.

"Don't you EVER speak of Althea like that!" he growled, holding her face in his thin hand.

Althea tried to move her head, but his grip on her face was too strong.

"SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE!" he shouted, and hurled Althea on the musty mattress.

Althea braced herself as she hit the mattress, and a large plum of dust and mold erupted from the mattress causing her to choke and to cough. Sirius threw himself on top of her and turned her over onto her back. Looking into his eyes full of hate, a frightened Althea believed he would kill her. Sirius raised her arms over her head and held her wrists down. He breathed heavily--his nostrils flared--as he painfully squeezed her wrists, her fingertips numbing.

"IS THIS--IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?" he yelled within inches of her face as she squirmed underneath him. "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?" he repeated, shaking her like a rag doll.

"No," she said shakily.

"Right," he replied and let go of her wrists.

He roughly pushed himself from her and sat at the edge of the mattress with his face buried in his hands. Lying for a moment, she observed Sirius as he shook violently and sobbed into his hands. Does he truly feel remorse for what he did, she thought, sitting up as he continued to pound the palms of his hands against his eyes. I think he actually feels sorry--awful even...maybe, maybe he didn't want me to die.... Oh God, he didn't, she thought and swallowed the bile that had risen in her throat. He must have.... He must have traded my life for theirs. Against her better judgment, Althea crawled next to Sirius and gently placed her trembling hand on his shoulder.

"Get away from me!" he said between sobs.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly and kept her hand on his shoulder. "I shouldn't have said what I said."

Sirius placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it. Searing tears trickled down her face and her mind swam with confusion.

"How touching," Althea heard from the cell across from theirs.

Bellatrix stood with her hands stroking the cell bars, and Althea's grip tightened on Sirius' shoulder. To Althea, Bellatrix's voice was sickeningly sweet, much like the smell of rotting death that she had become accustomed to in Azkaban. Althea stood and walked to the center of the cell.

"Don't pay attention to her," Sirius said with his head still bent. "She's not worth it."

Althea stopped immediately and turned toward Sirius. The sound of Bellatrix's taunts and laughter faded--as did everything in the room. Althea's eyes opened wide as the room began to spin, a great grey sea outstretched around her--and she was alone. The words transported Althea to a time when she had spoken those same words to him--a time when all she had to worry about were exams, boys, and Quidditch. Confused, Althea rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. How had she gotten there? She did not belong there--she belonged at Hogwarts. Hogwarts? She did not belong at Hogwarts. She staggered backward and attempted to collect herself. Suddenly, she saw the faces of those she killed. She felt the warm blood as it dripped on her hands. She opened her eyes and held her hands in front of her, slowly turning them over and examining them. There was no blood. The grey sea transformed into the damp grey cell and Althea remembered her reason for imprisonment. Althea killed Death Eaters. Althea enjoyed killing Death Eaters. Bellatrix's laughter grew louder and louder in Althea's ears.

"You're wrong," Althea said coldly, turning toward the cell door. "She's worth it."

Althea rested her arms on the cell bars as she looked over Bellatrix with a slight disdain--she would not satisfy Bellatrix with a look of total repulsion. Bellatrix had been in Azkaban for four years and the effects of the prison were apparent. Her once luxuriously, long black hair was thinning and her full healthy face was reduced to skin held tightly around a skull. She was a hideous creature--much like the banshees Althea's grandmother had warned her about.

"Oh, the illustrious Kelly Derry favors us with her presence," Bellatrix remarked, curtseying. "Kelly Derry," she sighed teasingly, shaking her head with mock thoughtfulness. "What a terrible thing, getting caught and all. You're not much different then us I'm afraid," she said, a malicious grin encompassing her thin face.

"Yes, it is terrible," she sighed, feigning regret, "but, isn't it terrible that Lucius Malfoy isn't in here with you?"

Bellatrix moved closer to the cell bars, and Althea recognized the hatred seething from her face. Bloody bitch, it's so easy to get you angry, she thought, tapping her nails against the iron bars.

Althea sighed and stared directly into Bellatrix's cold, dead eyes. "Maybe Voldemort enjoyed the company of gentlemen best.... Oh, but maybe you fancied him. I'm sorry," she remarked and waited for Bellatrix to explode.

Bellatrix pulled at the bars and the others in the cell screamed with fury. "How dare you!" she roared as she furiously pulled at the bars. "HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME!" she bellowed and it echoed throughout Althea's cell.

Althea threw her head back and laughed mirthlessly. "What--Voldemort? If I wanted to be the greatest dark wizard the world had ever seen I would come up with a better name than Voldemort," she said plainly. "Imagine if a Muggle heard it...They'd probably laugh--a good laugh, indeed."

Bellatrix screamed and pulled at the bars. Althea heard bark-like laughter behind her. She turned around to notice Sirius still sat with his hands covering his face, but peeked out of the corner of his hands--he winked. Althea smiled wickedly.

"Really, Bellatrix," Althea scoffed and rolled her eyes. "If I was to follow a dark wizard, it certainly wouldn't be one that could be defeated by someone wearing nappies," she added and folded her arms. "Oh, ickle Harry Potter, time to change your nappies before you defeat the horrible Voldemort," she continued in a baby voice. "Come now, I wonder if he was still nursing, don't you? Harry, I mean, not Voldemort. I think we've established he didn't fancy breasts; otherwise you'd be out there and Malfoy...would be in here."

"I'll kill you!" she shrieked and thrust her hands through the bars.

"With what? A wand?" she asked mockingly. "Come on; take your best shot at me. Your work is legendary," she provoked and spread her body across the cell door.

Bellatrix picked up a large stone and threw it at Althea. The stone hit Althea in the abdomen with such force that it caused sharp pains to radiate throughout her body, but she would not give Bellatrix the satisfaction of a flinch. Casually, Althea reached into her boot and pulled out a spoon she had sharpened into a weapon. She held it in her hand for Bellatrix to see.

Bellatrix laughed. "A spoon? Will you gore me to death?" she cackled.

Althea retracted her arm and with great force threw the weapon. It whizzed past a shocked Bellatrix.

"You missed," she said and folded her arms.

"Did I?" Althea asked, with eyebrow raised. She moved her head to look past Bellatrix. "No, I didn't miss," she added.

Bellatrix turned around and screamed as she realized one of the imprisoned Death Eaters had the weapon imbedded in his skull. She ran to the dead Death Eater, pulled out the weapon, and hurled it back at Althea. Althea watched as it clinked against the bars and fell to her side.

"Thanks," Althea said nonchalantly as she picked up the bloodied weapon.

***

"Get her out of here!" Althea's mother shouted at Marie.

Marie grabbed the five-year-old Althea's arm and pulled the struggling girl away from her mother. 'No, I have to stay with Mummy,' she thought, wriggling, kicking, and dropping to the floor in an attempt to break free from Marie. However, Marie's grip was too strong, and in a last effort, Althea dragged her feet behind her, wrestling to break free from Marie's grip on her arm.

"Mummy! No! I won't go!" Althea screamed, arching her back, attempting to break from Marie.

She bit Marie's hand, and Marie loosened her grip, allowing Althea to break free and run to her mother. Sobbing, she threw her arms around her mother's legs and refused to let go. 'I won't let you take me away,' she thought as her mother rested her hand against Althea's head and stroked her hair. Althea was triumphant--her mother would let her stay.

"Althea, Sweetheart, let go for a moment," her mother said soothingly.

Althea listened to her mother and reluctantly let go of her mother's legs. Her mother knelt beside her, continuing to stroke Althea's hair away from her face, as she solemnly looked upon her daughter.

"Althea, you have to go with Marie," her mother said, staring into Althea's eyes.

Althea forgot what she was struggling against as she gazed into her mother's olive eyes.

"Please, go with her," her mother said softly and kissed Althea on the cheek.

"No, Mummy," she said, regaining her resolve. "I don't want to go. I want to stay with you."

Her mother frowned. "Sweetheart, I know, but you have to go with Marie.... Everything will be all right," she said and kissed Althea's forehead. "I love you very much."

"I love you too," she replied and bit her bottom lip.

"Now go," she insisted.

Althea quietly nodded and took Marie's hand.

"Come Althea! Hurry!" Marie demanded.

However, it was too late for Althea and Marie to leave the room.

"In here!" Marie commanded, pointing to the cupboard as Althea heard footsteps walking toward the room.

Althea looked one last time at her mother and her mother nodded for Althea to follow Marie. Marie quickly shoved Althea inside a cupboard and curled on top of her.

"Don't say a word," Marie whispered, covering Althea's mouth.

Althea tightly shut her mouth as she heard the muffled sounds of a chair falling and her mother yelling at two men. 'Mummy, Mummy needs me' she thought, attempting to wiggle free from Marie. Marie pressed herself on top of Althea to prevent her from moving and covered Althea's mouth with her other hand as well.

"Shut your eyes," Marie whispered into Althea's ear.

However, Althea refused to shut her eyes, and her eyes widened as a green flash illuminated the cupboard through the cracks at the bottom. 'What was that? Is Mummy all right,' she thought--a sob caught in her throat. The room outside the cupboard was silent; the men had left. Althea wiggled her way from underneath Marie and ran out of the cupboard.

"No, Althea!" Marie yelled, reaching to grab Althea's legs.

Althea leapt in the air to avoid Marie's grasp. "Mummy!" she shouted, running to her mother's body.

Breathing heavily, Althea stopped at the side of her mother, who lay sprawled across the floor--her eyes open wide and her mouth open as if she was about to scream. 'What is Mummy doing on the floor? Is she sleeping...no, people don't sleep with their eyes open,' she thought, kneeling next to her mother. Althea noticed in her mother's hand some sort of stick. 'What would Mummy need with a stick? She uses it for cleaning...what would she need to clean,' she thought, resting her hand on her mother's arm.

"Mummy, wake up!" Althea shouted as she shook her mother. "Mummy, wake up!"

Marie rested her hand on Althea's shoulder. "Little one, come with me," Marie said, wiping tears from her own eyes with her other hand.

"No!" she yelled, knocking Marie's hand from her shoulder. "Mummy!"

Althea continued to shake her mother hoping that one good shake would wake her. Her mother was sleeping--sleeping heavily--and if Althea continued to shake her, she would eventually wake. Marie grabbed Althea and held her close to her, keeping Althea's face from her mother.

"Let me go," she said as Marie rocked her in her arms.

"No," Marie whispered, resting the side of her face atop Althea's head.

Althea heard footsteps, which caught her breath. "Oh my God," she heard her father say behind her.

Althea pushed herself away from Marie and ran to her father. "Daddy, what's wrong with Mummy? Why won't she wake up?" Althea asked between sobs.

Althea's father took her in his arms. He held her close to his chest and rested his head against hers. "Sweetheart, she's not going to wake up," he said shakily and held her tighter, kissing the top of her head. "She's dead...."

Althea woke up screaming and sat straight up on her mattress. Her heart pounded wildly against her chest as she looked around the darkened cell. Panting, she wiped her sweat-drenched hair out of her face. She brought her knees up to her chest and slowly rocked back and forth. I hate this place. I hate this place, she repeated to herself as she shivered from the cooling sweat. It would be a blessing if I went mad. Unfortunately, I didn't enter here with happy thoughts. I didn't need a dementor to take that from me.... I'm going to be as sane as he is, she thought and looked in the direction of Sirius. Sirius sat with his knees to his chest and stared at her.

"What you remember here," she muttered, staring in front of her. "I've tried to forget my mother's death for years," she added and rested her cheek against her knees. "Amazing how this place forces you not to forget."

Sirius did not respond to her comments; instead, he sat on his mattress and studied her. Suddenly, the shrieking from the next cell began. It always began at the same time every night; however, at what time Althea did not know.

"You didn't sleep did you?" she asked, lifting her head.

Sirius shook his head. "I didn't sleep," he replied and sighed. "How did you--how did you...."

"Kill that Death Eater? It gets a little easier with each one," she began, straightening out her legs. "I just have to remind myself what they've done.... The last one--before I was captured--killed a family of five...the mother, the father, and the children. The youngest child was five months old," she explained and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"Why didn't you kill Bellatrix?" he asked and sat at the edge of the mattress.

"Oh, eventually it will happen. I just want to torture her first," Althea quipped and attempted run her fingers through her messy, matted hair. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you--not yet at least."

"That's a relief," he mumbled darkly. "I think that's what they wanted anyway--that we'd end up killing each other."

"The Ministry can't have everything now, can they," she replied with feigned regret.

Althea studied Sirius for a moment. I think I'll try something, she thought, continuing to stare at Sirius.

"Voldemort," she said and waited for Sirius's reaction.

Sirius did not flinch or wince at the sound of Voldemort's name, nor did he stand and berate her for using his name. Althea remained silent and covered her mouth with her trembling hands as her body began to convulse. She finally knew what Sirius had done. She knew Sirius could not possibly be a follower of Voldemort--he despised him just as much as she did. No, he had done something far worse than be a follower of Voldemort--he had traded Althea's life for the life of their best friends. They would have killed me anyway...anyone would have known that, she thought as she looked at Sirius with overwhelming disgust, it didn't matter you betrayed James...they were already at the cottage. I had gotten away, Sirius, you didn't have to betray them.

Althea shook her head, tightly closing her eyes, as she realized she had killed her own best friend. What have I done, she thought, opening her eyes. She should not have gone back to Sirius--her grandmother had warned her. Her grandmother knew his family and knew what they were capable of, but Althea did not listen. She thought Sirius was different, and went about to prove he was different. She thought he believed in the greater good; however, she was sadly mistaken. I would have died for her, Sirius, just as you should have done--just as James had done. He did not forsake Lily in the end and hand her to Voldemort to protect himself. No, he stood by her, defending his wife and his son...you cut a bloody deal.... In the end, you truly are the family you left--cutting deals to suit you and to save yourself.

Althea swallowed a breath, as Sirius seemed to wait for her reply. "You didn't flinch," she responded quietly, lowering her hand from her face.

Sirius nodded.

"You--you're--you're not a follower of Voldemort," she said knowingly. Sirius nodded again.

"And you're a terrible liar," he said and raised an eyebrow, "always have been."

Sirius stood from his mattress, walked over to her mattress, and sat down. Althea moved away from him as he attempted to sit closely next to her.

"What are you getting at?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I think you know," he said menacingly and crawled toward her.

Althea--in an attempt to escape--moved back, but--to her chagrin--her back encountered the cold, damp wall. "Get away from me, or I will kill you," she replied nervously and attempted to crawl away.

Sirius casually placed his hands on the wall behind her--flanking the sides of her face. He leaned close to Althea's face and his close proximity caused Althea to turn her face away from his. However, with his right hand, he turned her face back to meet his, and once again rested his hand on the wall.

"Oh, I don't think you'd want to kill your lover now, do you?" he whispered and pinched her nose.

Althea took a deep gulp of air as Sirius waited for her response. "I don't know what you're talking about," she replied, flustered, and attempted to stand from the mattress.

Sirius took her by her arms and returned her to the wall. "Really?" he began and Althea endeavored to stand once more. Sirius again grabbed her and placed her against the wall. "I've been watching you since you came, and after our conversations, I'm almost convinced," he whispered, returning his hands to the wall behind her. "You don't fool me.... Now, there're two methods of proving I'm right."

Althea shook her head as her breathing became shallower. "Please, I'm not--you've--you've gone mad," she said nervously and ducked underneath his arm to crawl away.

Sirius moved his arm to stop her. "The first way, well, we can't do. I don't want Bellatrix watching," he said and shuddered.

Sirius raised his boney fingers to her face, and Althea pressed herself as far as she could into the wall as he caressed her face and neck with his fingertips. As his fingertips glided over her jaw, Althea turned her head--a pathetic protest of his advances.

"The second way is much simpler, but not as fun," he remarked and slowly moved his hands down her breasts and abdomen.

Althea, flustered, removed his hands and placed them on his knee.

"I've memorized every millimeter of my Althea's body--every curve and every freckle. She has this tiny mole on her thigh," he whispered as he glided his hands up her inner thighs.

Althea quickly removed his hands and with great force pushed him away from her. She stood, indignant, and spoke, "Really! I don't have a mole on my thigh." She lifted her skirt and showed him her thigh. "See, no mole," she said proudly, pointing to her thigh.

Sirius shook his head. "No, the other one," he responded and pointed to her other thigh.

Althea huffed and showed him her other thigh. "Look, no mole," she said, pointing to her thigh. "I'm not Althea."

Sirius frowned. "You're not showing the right place. Come here," he replied, motioning for her to come closer to him.

Althea shook her head and stepped back.

"Come here, unless you've got something to hide."

Althea sighed and walked toward him. "I don't have a mole," she explained, folding her arms as she stood next to Sirius.

"Yes you do. Now, lie down," he said and patted the mattress.

"It's not necessary," Althea said and lifted her skirt. "You could look from here."

"Nope, sorry can't. I only know where it is when your lying down," he explained and patted the mattress once more.

Althea rolled her eyes. "Are you trying to sleep with me?" she asked, annoyed.

"Althea, it takes a lot less than this to get you into bed."

"I'm not Althea," she said, sitting next him.

"Of course, you're not, Althea," he replied and nodded toward the mattress. "Lie down."

Althea frowned and lay down on the moldy mattress. She did not understand why she was submitting herself to such a frivolous inspection. Of course, Sirius always had that affect on her...to cause her to do ridiculous things. Althea kept her hands at her sides and with her fingers tapped the mattress out of nervousness. I don't have a mole on my thigh--what is he thinking, she thought as she kept her legs tightly closed. Idiot...he's probably remembering some other girl...ugh, disgusting.

"Could you...open your legs a bit?" he asked as he gently lifted her skirt to her hips.

"Could I WHAT?" she yelled as she lifted her head.

"Oh come on," he said, exasperated, throwing his head back.

"I will not!"

"How will you prove that you're not Althea, then? It's necessary," he explained, tugging at her skirt.

"Fine then," she sighed, resting her head against the mattress. "If it means that much to you, but you won't find anything," she said as she intently stared at the mold-covered ceiling.

Althea's body tensed as he glided his cool fingertips along her inner thigh. Suddenly, his fingertips stopped. "There," he said proudly, keeping his finger on the spot. "A tiny mole."

Althea sat up and looked at the spot. "I'll be damned," she murmured, frowning. "But that doesn't prove anything--I mean--loads of people have moles."

"I don't have one on my inner thigh," he replied and tapped his finger against the mole.

"It's so small though--a freckle, really. How would you remember something so small?" she asked, looking at the tiny mole.

"Because it does this," he replied and passionately kissed the spot on her inner thigh.

Althea arched her back and giggled, but quickly stopped as a large gust of cold air enveloped the cell. No, no, it's happening, she thought, the cold seeping through her skin, her muscles, and into her bones--causing her increasing pain. Althea grabbed the sides of the mattress in an attempt to steady herself as the dizziness crept into her mind. Stop...stop...go away from me...I promise I won't be happy anymore--I didn't mean to....

"Althea, let's go."

"No, not yet. Let's stay a bit longer. I hardly ever see Lily anymore."

"It's not safe for you--for us to be all together like this anymore."

"You're being ridiculous, Sirius. I'm not going to break--I managed it on the motorbike--and who knows, maybe if we are confronted by Death Eaters, this Misfiring Magic would blow them away. I'll just pretend they're a Wizard Wireless and Orpheus is playing."

"This isn't a joke. You're a target now."

"Not you too, James."

"What? I can't care about your safety? Voldemort and his followers are specifically attacking pregnant witches. The less time you spend in public the better."

"I'm not in public. I'm in Godric's Hollow. It's not like I'm in Diagon Alley, parading my bloated abdomen for all to see.... Peter, I'll have another piece of cake too."

"No, she won't have another piece of cake. Don't look at me like that, you've already had three pieces."

"What? The baby wants another piece. Peter, I will have that piece, thank you."

"No, she won't."

"I can't believe you would starve your own daughter and deny her another piece of cake.... Oh, larger, please."

"I'm not denying her anything. On the way home, we'll stop at a bakery and I'll buy you a cake."

"Oh, doesn't that sound lovely! A large chocolate cake with gobs of frosting and pretty, pink roses! A cake today and a new baby rattle tomorrow, or perhaps a piece of jewelry?"

"What are you getting at?"

"You leave home for three days, or four, or a week. You write these cryptic messages that let me know you're all right, and when I complain or mention of your absences you buy me or our baby a gift. We don't have enough room for all of the toys and I only have so many ears and fingers."

"So? She deserves the best. You deserve the best."

"What she deserves is her father."

"Althea, not now, right."

"Right, we'll forget all about this conversation, and I'll eat my cake with a smile.... Peter, I'll have my piece of cake now, please."

"No, forget about that piece of cake.... Come on, Althea we're--"

"I want my piece of cake!"

"I'll buy you a cake on the way home."

"But I want this cake. I want Lily's cake."

"Would someone take this damn piece of cake!"

"I'll take it."

"Thanks."

"Lily, but that's my piece of cake."

"I'll wrap it for you to take home."

"But--but--oh, when did you start to conspire with James and Sirius?"

"When my best friend and my goddaughter's safeties are at stake."

"Why is everyone treating me like a child? 'No, Althea, you can't have another piece of cake.' 'No, Althea, you can't go to Diagon Alley anymore.' 'No, Althea, you can't work anymore.' Soon you'll tell me I can't leave the cottage.... What? What is that look?"

"Althea, we've decided it'll be best if you didn't leave the cottage anymore."

"Oh, you've decided. I don't have a bloody say in my life anymore!"

"Don't get upset."

"Don't get upset? How can I not? What if I told you, you couldn't leave the cottage? You'd laugh in my face!"

"Althea, my love, please calm down."

"I will not calm down! I come here to have a wonderful time at Harry's first birthday, and I discover this is my last night as a free woman! Don't touch me and stroke my arm!"

"My love--"

"No, you are rarely home and the only thing I have is traveling. What will I have now that I have to stay home?"

"You'll have your gardening, your painting...please, for our daughter."

"Oh, how lovely! Gardening and painting! What will happen when it grows cold? Hmm? I'm tired of everyone conspiring against me--making decisions for me."

"We're not conspiring against you. We want what is best for you and your daughter."

"What is best...I see.... I bloody can't make decisions in my life anymore! I'm pregnant, not stupid! You know, if you leave me in the cottage, sometime they will find me. Now, wouldn't that be lovely for you to come home to--me blown up, my insides strewn about the cottage."

"Althea--"

"It doesn't matter. I'll be a target wherever I go. Why can't anyone see that?"

"Mate, come on, let's leave Lily and Althea alone."

"Of course, walk out, do what you do best."

"Althea--"

"No, mate, come on...."

"You regret this pregnancy, don't you?"

"No, I don't understand what you mean--"

"You do. I can feel it."

"I'm upset, Lily.... I'm a burden to him. I know it. He'd rather fight and spend a night with his friends than come home to me. It's always been that way.... Why would I have ever thought it would be different?"

"Then you lied when you said this baby was planned."

"Oh, no, she was planned, or at least the act was planned. I don't think either of us really knew what pregnancy would mean.... He has this way of convincing you--you've noticed it. He's so bloody charismatic. After the battle last January, I was so worried he was one of the members killed--he had gone missing for two days after the battle. He came home so broken, and I would have done anything for him. "

"So you did."

"So I did. I thought stupidly that it would change things, but it hasn't.... It's so difficult. I know he tries to heal his wounds before he comes home. I can't heal him properly now that I'm pregnant. The other night, I noticed a horrible burn mark on his back, but I didn't say anything. I carried on as if I never saw it.... I don't want to think about him not coming home."

"Do you think you should have terminated the pregnancy?"

"No, no, she's been the only constant company I've had.... I know I can't keep him from fighting. There are things more important than our baby and myself, but I had him promise. I had him promise he would spend more time at home. He's failed miserably. I don't want it to end up like--"

"James and me."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's all right. James is hardly home anymore as well.... Sometimes I feel as though I'm raising Harry by myself."

"But James does come home.... Damn it, Lily, this is very unfair--keeping us apart like this. You need me and I need you. All we'll have now are letters, and those might get intercepted."

"I agree, but we must do all that we can to protect our children.... I would do anything for Harry...."

Althea gasped as she opened her eyes. She pulled the threadbare blanket Sirius had placed over her tighter around her chin.

"What--what happened?" she whispered, shivering.

With his long, boney fingers, Sirius gently caressed her cheek--his expression transforming from despair to dark. "You didn't die," he growled, sliding his other hand around her neck. "You were supposed to die."

Althea attempted to sit up and struggled underneath him as he squeezed her throat. Her vision blurring, she saw the shadow of Bellatrix standing at the bars of her own cell--taunting Althea and encouraging Sirius.

"Sometimes, Bella," Sirius began as Althea slapped him across the face in a last attempt to save her life, "you have to kill them yourself...."

***

After a large yawn, Althea sat up, rubbed her eyes, and sleepily looked around her cell. It was cold, dirty, damp, and inhumane. Over her shoulder, she heard the trickle of rainwater as it cascaded down the wall to pool in the corner of her cell. She was alone, as she was every morning or afternoon when she awoke. She never knew what time it was--the sky never seemed to clear over Azkaban. The sky was always grey or black--and on lucky days, they were both. Althea sat up and attempted to run her fingers through her matted hair. That dream of sharing a cell with Sirius is becoming more elaborate, she thought as she tugged her fingers through her matted hair. More dementors this time and Bellatrix making an appearance...ugh, I never want to see her face. Keep her in the depths of this hell where she belongs--the Harpy.

"I'm so bloody glad I don't have to hear her shrieking," she murmured and shivered as a dementor glided past her cell door. "Ugh, would you stop crying about your lost puppy!" she groaned, throwing herself back onto the bed. "Your puppy left you because he hated you."

"Althea...."

Althea's mind shifted from the woman crying about her lost puppy to Sirius. He's dreaming and talking in his sleep again, she thought a maniacal grin spreading across her face.

"Althea...Althea...."

Althea rested her head against the cell wall to listen. "You know, I thought this would bore me after awhile, but it hasn't," she said aloud as Sirius continued to mumble her name.

"Althea...Althea...I'm so sorry.... I--I never meant to hurt you.... Please, you have to forgive me...."

"Oh, forgive you. Is that what I have to do?" she muttered, tightly clutching her blanket.

"You weren't supposed to die...."

"Really? What was I supposed to do?"

"I'm so sorry...I'm so--" Sirius said, but stopped as she heard him shift on his bed--he must have awoke.

"Now it's my turn," she whispered as she heard Sirius sniff. "Sirius...Sirius...."

"Al--Althea? Oh, God! This place!"

"Sirius...Sirius, why did you do this to me?"

"Oh God, Althea, I'm so sorry...so sorry," Sirius lamented, weeping softly.

"Sirius...Sirius, how could you hurt me?"

Sirius coughed and replied, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. You have to understand.... This place, oh God, this place! Why must you let me live this?"

"What is there to understand? You killed me. You betrayed me.... I loved you, why? Why Sirius?" she taunted and laughed hideously as she heard Sirius slam against the wall.

"Stop! Stop! Please, please stop!" he shouted breathlessly as Althea continued to taunt him with her laughter. "DERRY!" he roared and threw something very heavy against the wall--causing dust and debris to fall from the ceiling.

"What, Black? I was asleep," she replied and feigned a loud yawn. "Maybe Azkaban is finally consuming you...or it could really be the ghost of your dead Althea."

"Mark my words, Derry, I will find what torments you."

"You are what torments me," she explained, lying back on her bed. "Your existence really."

"Yes, still trying to discover a way to enter my cell and kill me?"

"Of course," she replied quickly. "Now, I have things to do, Black, and I can't be bothered."

"Braiding your noose, perhaps?"

"It's already braided," she replied, slipping her hand underneath her pillow.

"Then use it!"

"I will!" she shouted back--her hand tightening around the makeshift noose.

Indeed, for the past month, Althea had braided a noose with strips of her robe, her blanket, any sort of fabric she could find that she could discreetly tear pieces from--there was always that chance of detection. The Ministry much preferred the incarcerated witch or wizard to slowly wither away and not take the initiative to take her or his own life. What is the difference? In suicide and withering away, one both loses the will to live, she thought, slipping her hand underneath her pillow once more. This time, her hand contacted the cool, smooth glass of the vial Dumbledore had provided her. Two days ago, Dumbledore had inspected the prison and stopped at her cell. Upon speaking to her, he slipped her the vial with the comment that she had truly witnessed a fate worse than death. Who knew Dumbledore could be so merciful, she thought, swirling the black liquid inside the vial. Hanging and a poison...I'll accomplish something Sirius couldn't--killing me.... I do so wish I could have killed him before I killed myself, but poisons are so fickle and deteriorate quickly.

"The poison will kill me before the hanging does," she murmured, flinging the braided fabric over the rusted pipe that ran across her ceiling.

She tied a tight knot near the pipe and placed the noose around her neck. The noose was surprisingly soft and oddly comfortable as she tightened it so it fit snuggly around her neck. Uncorking the vial, she looked from the liquid, to the message on the wall, and outside her window as the waves crashed against the rocky shore. I'll be buried on that shore, she thought, looking upon the gravestones that marked past inmates.

"God forgive me," she murmured and she downed the caustic, revolting poison and jumped off her bed....

***

"Althea Rosemary, what have you done?" Gran chided as Althea opened her eyes.

Enraged, Althea attempted to sit up, but found she was restrained to her bed. I'm supposed to be dead! What is going on? I would have taken death over this old woman, she thought, violently convulsing to break free of the restraints.

"Fuck!" she shouted, slamming her head against the pillow.

Gran slapped Althea across the face--the sting and the shock, causing Althea to stop writhing. "You will not speak such awful language!" she warned, raising her hand to Althea.

Althea eyed her grandmother's hand and smiled. "Fuck," she replied and immediately felt Gran's hand against her cheek. "Do it again, old woman."

Instead, Gran grabbed Althea's face as Althea laughed mirthlessly. "A murderess, a common whore, what have you become?" she whispered heatedly, squeezing Althea's face.

"I'm supposed to be dead!" she shouted and spat in Gran's face.

Gran released her grip and wiped her face with a handkerchief. "Far from it, Althea Rosemary. You did exactly what Dumbledore and I were hoping," she explained, placing the handkerchief back into her pocket.

"You--you both had this planned?" she asked, sitting up as far as the restraints would let her.

"Of course, upon your incarceration, Dumbledore alerted me and set about to return you to me," she explained, sitting next to Althea. "You've returned to me and you'll recover here in Alexandria."

"Alexandria?" Althea snorted, looking out the window.

Sunlight. For the first time in over a year, Althea saw sunlight.

"Yes, at the Convent of St. Mary Magdalene, under the direction of a dear friend, Sister Margaret Cortona, Althea Rosemary," Gran explained and Althea heard the footsteps of another in the room.

She turned in the direction of the footsteps and saw a small, elderly woman dressed in navy robes approaching her bed.

"Hello, Althea," Sister Cortona said soothingly, holding a mug and a plate of chocolate. "Here, drink this," she offered, holding the mug to Althea's lips.

Althea greedily drank the chocolate milk and coughed when she finished. "A convent," she murmured, shaking her head. "Only you'd think of sending me to a convent.... Surprised you didn't do this when I was fifteen," she continued, looking at the nun who continued to smile at her. "What are you so bloody happy about?"

"Althea!" Gran admonished and forced Althea to eat some chocolate.

Althea chewed on her chocolate as she spoke, "What if I don't want to recover, hmm?"

"You will recover, you're a mother," Gran answered, forcing another piece of chocolate into Althea's mouth.

Althea chewed the chocolate and swallowed. "I'm not a mother," she laughed and Gran forced another piece of chocolate into her mouth.

"You are a mother, Althea Rosemary. One day Prudence will know about you," Gran replied and ate a piece of chocolate herself.

"No, she won't--"

"Children always know," she interrupted--her expression turned grim and she refused to look at Althea. "They always know that something is wrong--that it is not what it seems.... Anyway, eat," she continued and placed more chocolate in Althea's mouth. "You must regain your strength for your job."

Althea quickly swallowed the chocolate. "Job? What job?" she asked, searching Gran's face for some sort of answer.

"Upon your recovery, you will teach at Hogwarts," she answered, frowning at the empty plate. "Sister Margaret, may we have more chocolate please?"

"Hogwarts? I can't teach there! Who would let me? Oh, Gran, what a laugh," she replied, laughing for the first time with humor. The sound of her happy laughter startled her and Althea quickly stopped.

"You will," she replied with determination, "or you'll be chucked back into Azkaban. It was part of the deal I agreed to with Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore agreed to this?" she asked and Gran nodded. "Only doing this to keep a bloody eye on me," she murmured, lowering her head and frowning. Refusing to look away from her tattered prison robes, Althea asked, "Why did you save me anyway?"

"Because I had to," she answered, resting her hand on Althea's arm.

The shock of Gran tenderly placing her hand on Althea startled her--Althea instinctively knocking Gran's touch away from her.

"Why?" she asked quietly, looking up at Gran.

Gran sighed and frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not ready to tell you why, Althea Rosemary," she began, placing her hand on Althea's arm once more. "Just know I don't want them to win."