Ebb and Flow

James and Lily's Wedding, July 1979

***

"Lily, you know you have your own room," Althea said as she sat at her dressing table.

Lily sat up from the bed. "I know, but this is the last time we'll be able to have a sleepover," she said, smoothing the bedclothes.

Althea smiled as she reminisced of past sleepovers. Their last official sleepover occurred in May of their seventh-year. Althea thought it would be great fun if the girls partook in some of Althea's family rum for Lily never had rum--or any other liquor--in her entire life. It soon led to--what Althea believed--to be one of the greatest moments in Hogwarts history of the late 1970s. The drunken Head Girl carried on the shoulders of the Head Boy as Althea distracted the rest of the boy's dormitory--and losing what little honor she had left--with a drunken, raunchy rendition of "Ziggy Stardust" dedicated to Sirius.

"Making love with Althea, Althea spanked his behind," Lily sang and laughed loudly.

"Bloody hell, I can't believe you remember the song," Althea replied, smiling as she shook her head.

"Oh, I don't," Lily replied and sighed loudly and happily. "Peter likes to hum the tune, and sometimes I catch Remus mouthing the words over Sirius' shoulder," she explained and winked. "James does his best not to smile.... We should ask the band to play it tomorrow."

Althea giggled as she turned to look in her mirror. She watched Lily from the mirror's reflection as Althea combed her hair.

"Actually, I might ask the band to play, 'Let's Spend the Night Together,'" she teased and smiled impishly as Lily's face flushed a pale shade of pink.

"Oh, I believe that drunken serenade was directed at you," she reminded and winked.

"With backup vocals by James," she reminded as well, smoothing her hair with her hands.

Around three o'clock in the morning, the morning after James's birthday their seventh-year, the two girls--and the rest of Gryffindor Tower--were awakened with an apologetic Sirius singing The Rolling Stones song as he and James hovered on their brooms outside Althea's dormitory window. Mortified, Althea lay awake in her bed while Sirius half-shouted and half-sang the words, and as Lily, giggling, lay in her bed. Lily's giggling was infectious, and Althea's mortification waned--she opening her window and smiling as Sirius continued to shout and to sing the words, his gaze locked with hers. In the end, Althea apologized (Sirius seemed to have the ability to make Althea apologize for arguments he started), and McGonagall threatened to have the boys spend their nights in two weeks of detentions instead of one if they did not quiet.

"Where did he learn about Muggle music?" Lily wondered, resting her hands atop the bedclothes.

Althea laughed quietly. "At fifteen, he chatted up some shop girl," she explained, scrutinizing her hair in the mirror, "or so I've been told. Anything to anger his family, right?"

"Do you reckon they'll do something like that tonight?" she asked, fumbling with the bedclothes.

"Chat up shop girls?"

"No, do something reckless."

Althea placed the brush on the dressing table and turned to face Lily. "It wasn't reckless, it was stupid," she replied, and frowned slightly as she thought of James bound to a streetlamp and deserted by his friends. "Don't worry, he'll be there for the ceremony tomorrow.... Of course, they might've forgotten where they left him--"

"Don't," Lily warned, pointing and index finger at Althea. "I'll remember this for your wedding, you know."

Althea laughed quietly. "I won't marry, then," she quipped and winked. "Anyway, tomorrow will be a fantastic day."

Tomorrow, she mused, smiling, my best friend, marrying James Potter...James Potter, how bloody unreal. Althea walked over to her bed, and pulled back the bedclothes. Until their last year at Hogwarts, Althea never thought Lily and James would date, but she knew how quickly feelings changed. Tomorrow, she would watch Lily exchange vows with James in the rose garden of her Northfield estate.

"Do you think we'll be safe tomorrow?" Lily asked, Althea noticing the slight air of nervousness in her voice.

"Of course," she replied, resting her head against the soft pillow. "Dumbledore has put up so many spells and barriers the Death Eaters won't be able to attend your wedding."

Lily rested her head on her pillow and turned her face toward Althea. "It's just," she began--her lip trembling, "I wish Petunia were here. I should be spending this night with you and Petunia. She's my older sister and all I have left."

Damn Petunia, she thought, snuggling close to Lily, it's not Lily's fault your mother is dead. The Evanses loved James, and so did Petunia, until the war fully broke out seven months ago. Lily's mother became very ill, and with Petunia closer to her mother, the burden of caring for her primarily fell to Petunia. Lily knew that Petunia resented her situation, and Lily attempted as best she could to take care of her mother. When the two young women would visit, Althea would notice Petunia eyeing her sister with contempt as their mother happily greeted Lily. Lily was not there when her mother died. At the funeral, Petunia would not recognize her sister, and clung to her new husband, Dursley. After the funeral, Petunia informed Lily that she wanted nothing more to do with Lily and her freak friends. Petunia would not let Lily destroy anymore of her life.

"I know," Althea whispered softly, smoothing the hair away from Lily's face.

Lily rolled onto her back and covered her face with her hands. "This stupid war!" she said, frustrated. "I shouldn't even be thinking of getting married--not now. I'm putting all those lives in danger tomorrow, just so I can live happily ever after with James?"

Althea frowned. "Lily, that's what Voldemort wants. He doesn't want you to marry James," she said emphatically, sitting up. "Your marriage is the ultimate rebellion against what Voldemort believes in."

Lily sat up as well. "No, I think your marriage to Sirius would be the ultimate rebellion."

Increasingly uncomfortable, Althea shifted her gaze to her lilac-colored, silk nightgown. "Lily, it's over between us--has been for over a year."

"No, it hasn't," she replied knowingly, tugging at Althea's nightgown. "I know he was in your bedroom three weeks ago for I caught him leaving it as I returned home that morning," she continued with a wry smile. "Love bites, messed hair, and a large grin until he spotted me."

Althea's cheeks and neck prickled with warmth.

"Then, James went to wish Sirius a happy birthday, and who did he see naked and asleep in Sirius's bed as Sirius attempted to block James's view of his bedroom?"

"Me," Althea murmured, rubbing her forehead. "Bloody hell, nothing's come of it," she added defensively, frowning. "We're not together, we--"

"Just enjoy the occasional shag," Lily teased, smoothing the hair away from Althea's face.

"What has become of me?" Althea sighed, bringing her knees to her chest. "Why can't I find a nice wizard?"

Lily leaned close to Althea. "Because secretly in the depths of your soul, you realize you cannot live without Sirius," she explained conspiratorially. "He's your soul mate."

"Ha!" Althea laughed. "Everyone knows my soul mate is James," she teased and laughed as Lily gave her a dirty look. "Don't look at me like that."

"Sirius is the reason you didn't join the Order, isn't?" she asked knowingly.

"Lily, please--that's ridiculous--I didn't join the Order because..." she began, but paused, straightening her legs.

Why had she not joined? It would have seemed the obvious choice. I don't want to actively search out my death, she thought, stroking the hem of her nightgown. I see so much of it at St. Mungo's--the broken bodies, the grieving families...I loathe it.

"No, you're right. I didn't join because of him. I don't know what he's trying to prove," she answered, folding her arms. "He always has to be the bloody hero."

"He's trying to prove he's a good man," she replied.

Althea laughed half-heartedly.

"Althea, he loves you very much...almost too much, I think."

Althea pushed the bedclothes from herself and stood from the bed. "Oh, I think he made his feelings known three weeks ago," she said, walking toward her window.

Althea gazed out of her window at the beautiful night sky and frowned. She did not like the prospect of standing across from Sirius as James and Lily professed their love.

"Anyway, he has a girlfriend--saw her with him in Diagon Alley," she added, stroking the windowpane.

"Oh, that's not his girlfriend," she replied, staring at Althea. "Althea, with the work he does, he hasn't been able to date or have a girlfriend. Plus, you didn't see him after you left Hogwarts. He stayed in his bed for the whole week."

"Good," she snorted. However, Althea had not fared any better. She too spent her week in bed, but with a large tub of chocolate ice cream.

Lily shook her head. "How can you say that?"

"Easy," she replied shortly, sitting on the window ledge. "You didn't have to hear what he said to me."

"But what about what you said to him? Making him believe he was the reason you lost your baby--when you know he was no where near that Bludger that hit you," she said, standing from the bed. "I remember," she added, walking toward Althea. "You cried when you lost the baby. I would have thought you would've been relieved, but you cried."

Althea pushed herself from the window ledge. "He wanted me dead, Lily."

"His pride was wounded," she replied, folding her arms.

"His pride was wounded, and he wanted me dead? Lily, I saw his true character. What would have happened if we married and had a fight? I might not be here," she said, walking toward the bed. "Lily, I don't want to have a relationship with Sirius again."

Lily sat next to Althea. "Why do you sleep with him, then?"

"It happened twice--"

"Be straight with me, it was more than twice," Lily interrupted, looking at her friend. "You haven't discussed anything with him, have you?"

"Right, three," she lied and sighed, resting the back of her head against the windowpane. "Christmas and his birthday we were too pissed to discuss anything...and the last time we were very much sober," she explained, and looked at Lily. "However, that evening--while you were out with James--he returned for a fourth time, and instead, I wanted to talk about the history between us," she continued to explain, lifting her head from the windowpane. "We had an awful row, didn't discuss anything, and he made it quite clear he thought me a slag."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "James and I want you both to get along. It's unbearable--the awkward silences," she said earnestly. "I know you love him, and I know he loves you. I see--when you both don't notice--sometimes he looks at you the way he did at Hogwarts, and sometimes you look at him the same way."

Althea sighed. "Lily, it won't happen," she replied, standing. "I think I'll take a walk--you need some sleep," she added, walking toward the door.

"Althea--"

"Goodnight, Lily."

"Goodnight," Lily sighed as Althea opened the door.

I hate this house at night, she thought as she walked the long corridors of Northfield. Althea continued to walk lonely, dark corridors in search of nothing. The only purpose of her walk was to remove herself from Lily. Lily did not understand what it was like--James was incapable of yelling at her. She never saw the repulsion in Sirius's eyes. God, that look of repulsion, she thought, walking down the staircase. I'll never forget it--he was disgusted by me. I should have never written him or told him, she thought, walking past one of the many rooms that housed portraits of past Morrigans. Althea stopped and ran her fingers through her hair. What am I thinking? It was good that I told him; otherwise, I could have been in a miserable marriage. Thank you, Sirius for being so--so--so...what was that?

The sound of piano keys touched singly broke her from her thoughts. Althea opened the partially closed door and entered the portrait gallery. In the dark, Althea eyes determined the figure of a young man standing beside the piano, touching the keys. Stroking her hand up the wall, she found the light switch and turned it on; unfortunately, she wished she had not turned on the light. Bloody hell, it's Sirius, she thought, frowning. She wished she could escape, but she had to acknowledge his presence--she had turned on the light. He looked up from the piano keys and shoved his hands in his pockets. I thought they wouldn't come back until this morning, she thought, wishing she had worn a dressing gown. She had not liked the idea of Sirius and James spending the night in the house. Actually, she had not liked the idea of Sirius spending the night in the house; however, it had to be done--the less people arriving at once the better.

"I'm sorry, I heard the piano," she muttered and bit her lip.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll leave now," she replied, turning around.

"Wait," Sirius said, and Althea's stomach tightened and twisted.

"What?"

He took his hand from his pocket and pointed at the piano. "Do you still play this?"

"No, I haven't played in over a year," she said plainly, staring at the piano. "I thought you'd be with James tonight."

"I was, but someone has to stay somewhat sober to wake the groom," he replied, with a small smile.

"Right," Althea breathed, with a weak smile. "Well then, goodnight," she added and turned once more toward the door.

"Wait," Sirius called out again, and Althea frowned.

Just leave me alone, Sirius, she thought, turning around.

"What?"

Sirius began to walk toward her. "I was wondering, who those people are on the walls?" he asked, pointing to the rather large portraits that hung against the Turkish red walls.

"Oh," she muttered, walking toward the first portrait. "It's my family."

"Why aren't they moving or speaking?" he asked and sneered. "Boring lot, aren't they?"

"They're Muggle portraits," she explained as she stopped at the first portrait.

"You're not Muggle."

"They were and this house is frequented by Muggles."

"Well," he said, standing particularly close to her. Althea took a step to the side. "Who's that one?" he asked, pointing to the oldest of the portraits.

"That's the first Baron Northfield," she said, looking at the portrait of the man who seemed to sneer at the two.

"Oh," Sirius murmured. "How did he get that title?"

"Services to the Crown--or I should say the Queen," Althea replied, a small smile crept onto her face. "He was a Privateer and one of the Queen's lovers--she eventually had him beheaded."

"Beheaded?" Sirius remarked, frowning. "What did the poor bloke do?"

"He married," she replied amusingly. "He married and was happily married in fact."

Sirius turned and walked to the next portrait. "Who's this?"

"Grand," she sighed and smiled sadly.

It was a portrait of her grandfather as a young man, and she could not help but feel sadness as she looked at the portrait--he looked exactly like her own father.

Sirius walked to the next portrait and laughed. "Is this your Gran?" he asked laughingly and looked at Althea.

"Right, I know I got my tits from her," she remarked, rolling her eyes.

Sirius shivered. "Gran's tits."

"Let's move on."

"I'm surprised she let me in the house," he remarked, rustling the back of his hair.

"She had to," Althea replied, "you're the best man."

Sirius smiled. "This is your father?" he asked, pointing to a portrait of a man in RAF uniform.

"No, that's my Uncle George," she replied, gazing at the portrait.

Unlike her father, George resembled Gran--except for her blue eyes--Althea's father had Gran's blue eyes; no, George's eyes were grey--at least Althea thought so. Sirius quizzically looked from George, to Gran, and finally to Althea's grandfather's portrait. He turned to Althea and shook his head.

"What?" she asked, frowning slightly.

"Gran's favorite, right?" he asked and Althea nodded. "What's the uniform?"

Althea sighed--she hoped he did not want a detailed Morrigan family history in portraits.

"The Royal Air Force," she began, turning toward Sirius. "His airplane was shot down over Germany in 1943," she added, shuffling her foot across the rug.

"No wonder you were a Seeker," he muttered, turning to look at the portrait again. "You have his eyes," he said, pointing to the portrait next to her uncle.

"That's my father," she replied and bit her bottom lip.

Walking in front of her, he stopped at the portrait to her right. "This is your mother," he said, his eyes not wavering from the portrait. "You look exactly like her," he continued and smiled mischievously, "except for the tits, of course."

"Thanks," she muttered uncomfortably.

Sirius lingered at her mother's portrait for a moment, sighed, and stepped to Althea's portrait. "This, of course, is you," he said, and bit the inside of his cheek.

Althea inhaled a deep breath, waiting for a caustic remark and thinking of a cutting reply. She watched as Sirius sighed--was it sadness she witnessed? What was he sad about?

"You're beautiful," he remarked quietly, turning toward her.

Althea inhaled another breath as Sirius stared into her eyes. "Sirius, please," she said, folding her arms.

Sirius brought his hand to her cheek and stroked the hair from her face. Althea unfolded her arms to push him away, but her arms went limp at her sides. He rested his forehead against hers, and she could smell the alcohol on his warm breath--it stinging her nostrils.

"I'm miserable without you. I need you," he whispered as his hand slid to the back of her neck.

"You're drunk," Althea whispered, attempting to step backward, but Sirius held her close.

"I don't care," he murmured, and placed his lips to hers.

For a moment, Althea submitted to the desire to kiss him, and enjoyed the way his lips and mouth felt against hers. What am I doing, she thought as she realized she was enjoying it too much.

"Sirius, stop," she said, pushing him away.

Sirius frowned, running his fingers through his hair.

"I--I have to go," she said quickly.

Her head bent, she hurriedly walked toward the door. Not stopping, she ran up the stairs, but quietly tiptoed to her room. Lily lay on her side of the bed--her eyes closed. Carefully, Althea slipped underneath the bedclothes and rested her head against the pillow. What have I done, she thought, staring at the moonlit ceiling. Sirius kissed me and I kissed him back. I'm such an idiot! Now--now I've given him a bloody invitation to bother me. I can't possibly, not after what happened. Sirius and I are no more--we can't be.... Damn it! Why does he do this to me, she thought, bringing her hands to her face. She licked her lips--she could still taste him and the alcohol on them. Outside her door, Althea heard Sirius pause and raise his hand to the door. Oh God, I don't need him knocking on my door with Lily here, she thought, holding her breath. If Lily were not in the bedroom, would she want him to knock? Her eyes widened as she entertained the fact she would let him in her bedroom. However, she heard Sirius sigh, and he continued walking to his bedroom. His bedroom.

Not knowing what had come over her, Althea quietly slipped out of bed and walked toward her door. Easing the door closed, she slowly walked toward Sirius's bedroom. What am I thinking, she thought as she stood in front of the door. I'll tell him that the kiss meant nothing, and I'm sorry if I've led him to believe otherwise. Althea sighed nervously and knocked on the door. Maybe I shouldn't have knocked, she thought, upon hearing Sirius's footsteps nearing the door. The doorknob turned, and the door squeaked open.

"Althea," he said with a touch of surprise. "Is something the matter?"

Althea's stomach convulsed and contorted as she nodded. "Yes," she said quietly and bit her bottom lip.

"Please, come in, then" he replied, opening the door so she could enter.

Althea nervously entered his bedroom, folding her arms as Sirius closed the door. Right, she thought, sitting on the bed. Sirius, I did not mean to kiss you earlier. I want nothing to do with you, so please, leave me alone, she rehearsed in her mind as Sirius sat next to her. Althea opened her mouth, but closed it--frowning.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked, resting his hand on her back. "Did something happen? Is Lily all right?"

Althea lurched forward, cringing that she enjoyed the way his hand felt against her skin and the silk of the nightgown. "I--I'm fine," she replied nervously, turning toward Sirius. "It's about before."

"Oh," he murmured, his fingers slowly stroking where his hand rested on her back.

Damn it, why must he look so bloody concerned, she thought, looking into Sirius's face. Tell me I'm an idiot or a bitch; just--just stop looking at me like that! Sirius removed his hand from her back and took her hands in his, causing Althea to wince slightly. Oh God, Sirius, please--please do not tell me that you love me.

"Althea, I was an idiot," he said, staring into her eyes. "I should never have let you go."

Althea swallowed a breath. "Sirius, don't," she said quietly, taking her hands from his. "The wedding is later this afternoon."

"I know," he said quietly, bringing his hand to the side of her face.

Althea closed her eyes as his warm hand tenderly caressed her cheek. She knew she should have removed his hand, but kept it there--allowing it to drift down her neck, onto her shoulder.

"This is very wrong," she whispered, as Sirius rested his forehead against hers.

"I know...I know...I know," he continued whispering as he kissed the tip of her nose, her forehead, her jaw.

She should stop him. She should tell him the speech she had rehearsed in her head. She should push him away, call him a swine, and slap him--or worse. However, she could not--she needed him just as much as he needed her.

"Oh bloody hell," she murmured into his ear, as he kissed her neck and collarbone.

***

Frankincense, she thought as she opened her eyes. I know that smell--Sirius's soap smells like frankincense. It was an odd observation she had made while they were a couple at Hogwarts. She missed that smell, and found herself at Mass every Sunday. Her grandmother was proud at her newly discovered piety, but Althea spent the entire service secretly thinking about him. Althea's eyes drifted from Sirius's chest, to his sleeping face, and back to his chest. She observed it slowly rise and fall beneath her, his strong heartbeat lulling her back to sleep. Sirius woke underneath her, his left hand stroking her hair and curling it between his fingers. Althea rolled onto her stomach, and rested her chin against her hand on his chest.

"Morning, lovely," he said, smiling softly, continuing to stroke her hair.

"Morning," she replied, smiling.

Sirius turned his head, and looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Only three hours until James and Lily marry," he said happily, turning to face her, but Althea noticed a small bit of sadness.

"But?" Althea asked, staring into his eyes.

Sirius laughed and casually ran his fingers through his hair. "You were always so bloody observant with me," he remarked, pinching her nose. "James married? Bloody hell," he sighed, raising his hands to his face.

"It is a bit scary," she replied, pulling his hands away from his face.

Sirius playfully frowned. "A bit scary? You have no idea," he replied laughingly, holding her tightly. "What we used to do..." he reminisced and sighed. "Now he's marrying."

"Well, some do mature faster than others."

Sirius produced his distinct bark-like laugh, and she hoped that no one heard other than herself. "Yeah, James--mature," he replied, smiling as his fingers massaged the back of her head. "I like this."

"Us, you mean?"

Sirius nodded.

"I like it, too," she murmured and kissed his chest. She felt Sirius laugh underneath her lips and she smiled. "However," she said, lifting her head, "I have to go."

Althea sat up, much to the displeasure of Sirius. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Sirius," she said, slipping the nightgown over head. "It's three hours until the wedding. Lily has to dress and I have to dress."

"Three hours?" he snorted, sitting up. "It won't take you three hours. Come on," he added happily, patting the bed.

Althea shook her head as she stood from the bed. "Oh no, no. I'm not going back there," she replied, pointing to the bed. "I know what you'll do," she began, walking across the bedroom. "Althea, it won't take you three hours to get ready. It won't take you two. It won't take you one," she continued, attempting her best impersonation of Sirius. "Then it'll end with me, with my hair all messy, hopping down the aisle attempting to put on my shoe. While the groom never showed because he was still passed out, and the best man forgot his trousers," she finished, reaching for the doorknob.

Sirius attempted to hide a smirk. "Althea, I wouldn't forget a thing like trousers," he remarked, playfully frowning.

"Go and wake James," Althea sighed, opening the door. "I'll see you at the ceremony," she added and smiled. The next time she would see him would be at James and Lily's wedding ceremony.

Althea entered her bedroom to discover Lily, with her hair up in a towel, smiling at her. No point in telling her, she thought, walking toward Lily. She already knows. She had hoped Lily was still asleep when she entered her bedroom. Althea sat on the bed and watched Lily as she combed her wet hair. In three hours, her best friend would marry. Marry, she thought, shaking her head. Lily, James's wife? I don't believe this.

"Althea, I'm getting married!"

"Are you nervous?" she asked, lying back on her bed.

"A little, but I'm more excited than anything," she answered, standing from the chair. She sat next to Althea and continued combing her hair. "I'm more interested in what transpired between you and a certain best man," she added, waving her comb at Althea.

Althea sighed. She was not sure what happened herself. "I suppose you could say we made up?"

"I suppose you could," she remarked, combing her hair. "It was just a matter of time. I win the bet."

Althea sat up and eyed her friend incredulously. "What do you mean by bet?" she asked, taking Lily's comb away.

Lily grabbed the comb and continued to comb her hair. "Oh, well, James, Remus, Peter, and I had a bet when the two of you will get back together. Of course, we wouldn't have thought it'd end up like that," she explained, smiling. "Peter picked never, Remus picked five years from now, James picked after our first child, and I picked the wedding," she said happily. "I get five galleons from each of them."

Althea stood and walked toward the bathroom. "Lucky you."

After she bathed, she slipped into her bridesmaid dress. Thank you, Lily for having wonderful taste, she thought, observing the lavender fabric float and sway as she walked over to Lily. Lily sat on the edge of the bed with her bridal gown beside her.

"Why don't you have your dress on?" Althea asked, resting her hands on her hips.

Lily brought her knees to her chest. "I'm too nervous to fumble with the buttons," she said, staring at her knees.

"Too nervous?" she replied, sitting next to her. "What happened?" she asked, resting her hand on Lily's shoulder.

Lily took a deep breath. "Althea, your first time, what was it like?" she asked quietly, resting her chin against her knees.

Althea took her hand off Lily's shoulder and fixed the purple iris in her hair. "With Remus or with Sirius?" she asked uneasily.

"Both," she replied, turning her face toward Althea.

Frowning, Althea thought for a moment. "Remus, well, it was overwhelming I guess," she answered slowly. "He wasn't in his right mind, and I...I don't know," she continued, looking into Lily's eyes. "It wasn't anything romantic, if that's what you're wondering. We just got carried away."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you regret it?" she asked, scratching her nose.

Althea sighed sadly. "I think we both do, but we're friends aren't we?" she replied, producing a weak smile.

"Much to Sirius's displeasure."

Althea frowned. "Sirius is an idiot," she replied and Lily gasped. "Anyway, with Sirius, I would be lying to say that I wasn't nervous," she explained and Lily's eyes widened. "I knew it was something I wanted to do, but he surprised me--so, I was a little nervous."

"Really?" she replied in amazement.

Althea nodded. "Our first time was finding out about each other," she said and Lily snickered. "There was a lot of that too," she added and winked. "He tried to be all romantic, but I ended up laughing. Then he started laughing...we couldn't stop laughing.... I enjoyed him very much."

Lily smiled. "So, you do regret it?"

"No, I don't regret it. I truly love him, Lily, you don't regret that sort of thing with the one you love," she replied, resting her hand on Lily's shoulder.

"You said love," Lily responded, raising her head and smiling.

Althea smiled. "I did, didn't I," she replied dreamily and sighed. "I suppose that sort of thing must be good luck on a wedding day--if the best man and maid of honor sleep together, the marriage will be successful."

Lily laughed.

"Anyway, don't worry about tonight. Chances are James will faint when he sees you naked."

"Althea--" Lily began, but Althea interrupted.

"Oh, you better get dressed!" she said happily, standing. "We only have a half hour before the ceremony begins!"

***

Althea carried Lily's train as the two walked toward the rose garden. What a beautiful day, she thought, spreading Lily's train across the grass. They couldn't have charmed a better day--if that was possible. Althea fixed Lily's hair and straightened her veil. She inspected her friend for the last time.

"Lily, you are so beautiful," she said, smiling.

Lily smiled nervously. "Thanks," she said, squeezing Althea's hands.

"Good luck," she whispered as she hugged Lily.

"What? Is something wrong? What do I need luck for?"

Althea laughed. "Lily, good luck that you don't trip over your wedding dress," she said, letting go of Lily. "Lily, everything's perfect."

This is slightly surreal, she thought as she walked down the aisle. As she walked down the aisle, she noticed the members from the Order, friends, and faculty at her sides. She turned to her left and waited for Lily's cue. Looking past a very pale James, Althea saw Sirius smile and wink at her. She smiled and winked back, causing his smile to widen. The music changed, and Althea's heart leapt forward. She turned and watched her best friend walk down the aisle and meet an extremely pale James. As the minister began the ceremony, she heard McGonagall sniffing in the third row. She thought of laughing at McGonagall, but soon found herself sniffing back tears as she watched the warm smiles exchanged between James and Lily.

I can't believe my best friend is marrying, she thought, looking as the two exchanged vows. Here she is, marrying the man she loves. Me, I'm watching her, unsure where I go from here, she thought, glancing at Sirius. Sirius too, was looking at her. Had he been staring at her the entire time? Althea turned her focus to Lily and James as they exchanged rings. Quickly, she let her eye flicker back to Sirius, who looked at the couple, and then at her with the faintest hint of sadness. Did he wish it were her standing there with him instead of James and Lily? Althea sighed as the minister presented the wedded couple to the audience. Sirius did not take his eyes off her as James and Lily kissed for the first time as a married couple. The happy couple walked down the aisle amid the cheers of the audience, and Althea and Sirius followed--Sirius slipping his arm around her waist.

Sirius, holding her closely to him, immediately guided her through the crowd of guests to James and Lily. The knot in her stomach had returned. Sirius was not looking at her. He was looking at the guests looking at them. Why do I feel like property, Althea thought as Sirius let go of her and hugged James. After his embrace with James, he immediately placed his arm around Althea's waist.

"I don't believe this," James said happily, looking at Sirius and Althea.

Althea smiled uneasily. "I don't believe it myself," she replied as Sirius squeezed her tightly.

Sirius laughed and leaned into James's ear. "Looks like you lost the bet, Prongs," he said jokingly and slapped James on the shoulder.

Althea's uneasy smile faded as James and Sirius continued to laugh. "I--I think I'll get something to drink," she muttered, prying Sirius's arm from her waist.

"Right," Sirius laughed and kissed her cheek.

Althea numbly took a sip of wine as she sat--watching the three laughing and having photographs taken. Nothing had changed. He had not matured and still treated her the same as he did at Hogwarts...as he did those twenty-three other nights when all he wanted was some girl to shag. He knew about the bet, she thought, taking another sip of wine. She watched Sirius throw his head back in drunken laughter as another photograph was taken of the three. How long had he known about the bet? Was it some sort of joke to him? Althea frowned and took another sip. I'm nothing more than a trophy to him...another possession, she thought as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Maybe this was a mistake. Althea turned and smiled as Remus placed his glass of wine next to hers.

"Remus," she said as she smiled and stood. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "You know, you really should write more," she added, pulling away.

Remus smiled a tired smile. "Now, you know I can't do that," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Special work for the Order," he added and winked.

"'Special work for the Order,'" she teased, grabbing his arm. "You just find me incredibly boring," she added, pouting.

Remus laughed quietly. "You--boring--never," he said as the two walked to the dance floor.

As the two danced, Althea continued to watch Sirius from over Remus' shoulder. Sirius continued to laugh along with James as Lily chatted with Dorcas Meadowes. Suddenly, he turned his head and spotted Althea dancing with Remus. The smile slowly faded from his face as he continued to converse with James; however, his eyes never left the couple as they continued to dance platonically to the song. Althea frowned as his accusatory eyes burrowed into her skin. Nothing has changed, she thought as he continued to stare at her.

Althea took her eyes from Sirius. "Did Sirius know about the bet?"

A small crease appeared between Remus's eyebrows. "What bet, Althea?"

"Five Galleons on the day Sirius and I would get back together," she explained as a slightly inebriated couple bumped into them.

"I believe he did," he said, frowning. "How did you know about the bet?"

"Lily told me this morning," she said and brought her gaze back to Sirius. "Was he in on the bet?" she asked, watching Sirius stare back at her.

Remus did not respond.

"Remus, was he in on the bet?" she asked, her voice slightly agitated.

"Yes, I believe he was."

Althea's jaw tightened as the anger seethed into the rest of her body. "What day?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

Remus was silent.

"What day, Remus?"

"Today, Althea, today," he said quietly. "Please, don't do anything rash," he pleaded as the song ended. "What he feels for you...it's genuine. I wouldn't lie to you. He was driving James mad this morning because he wouldn't keep quiet about you."

Althea blushed. "I won't," she whispered as Sirius walked toward her.

"Thanks for keeping my Althea company, Moony," Sirius said, slipping his arm around Althea's waist.

"Certainly," Remus replied calmly and walked away.

Sirius steered her away from the crowd and the dance floor, and walked her over to a large, ivy-covered arbor in the adjacent garden. Maybe the bet meant nothing to him, she thought, as Sirius brought his hand to her cheek. Althea noticed he had a long scar running the length of his hand.

Sirius gently stroked the side of her face. "I never would have thought James and Lily would have married," he said softly, resting his other hand on the small of her back. Althea could smell the enormous amount of alcohol on his breath--he was very drunk.

Althea rested her hand on top of his upper arm. "I know, but anything can happen," she answered, stroking his upper arm.

"Yes, anything can happen," he whispered, smiling.

Althea's stomach jolted forward. Please, Sirius, not now, she thought, smiling nervously.

Sirius slid his hand from her face to the back of her neck. "I couldn't help but think it should've been us with the minister today."

Althea's smile faded and she bit her lip.

Sirius rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I've changed, Althea. I realized what an idiot I was letting you go. I'm a good man, Althea. I love you," he whispered earnestly.

"I don't doubt that," she whispered, stroking the side of his face.

A smile emerged across Sirius's face. "There's a minister here," he said softly, opening his eyes. "We could bribe him to do another ceremony."

"Sirius, it's James and Lily's day," she said, pulling away from him.

"You're right. Maybe later tonight," he said hopefully and kissed her lips.

Althea brought her hands to his chest and pushed him away from her. "Sirius, no," she said, resting her hands on his shoulders. "You're very drunk."

"So? I'm thinking clearly."

Althea laughed humorlessly. "We just got back together, and now you want to get married? Slow down."

Sirius frowned. "Althea, we don't have forever. Not anymore," he replied, stroking the side of her face. "The work I do for the Order has shown me that."

"What do you see in the Order?"

"Too much," he sighed sadly. "I just know I can't spend another morning without you. I realized that this morning," he explained softly, and kissed the tip of her nose. "Marry me, if not today then someday," he said sincerely, staring into her eyes.

"You're drunk."

"I don't care."

Althea shook her head. "Last time, you thought of it five minutes before...and now you're drunk," she replied, stroking his warm cheek. "This isn't good."

"Someday, Althea," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

Althea sighed and kicked her foot against the soft ground. "Someday," she whispered uneasily.

Sirius laughed, hoisted her into the air, and twirled her around.

"Sirius! Sirius put me down!" she laughed, growing dizzy.

Sirius put her down and nuzzled her neck. "I have to tell James," he murmured happily, holding her tightly.

Althea rolled her eyes. "I said someday, Sirius, not next week."

"Yeah, but someday means yes," he said, pulling away from her.

Althea sighed. "Someday means someday, Sirius," she replied. "Someday five years from now or ten or twenty--"

"Or tomorrow," he interrupted and grinned.

Althea opened her mouth to protest, but frowned instead.

"Ah, but someday doesn't mean no either," he answered and pinched her nose. "Come on, let's go," he added, slipping his arm around her waist. "I'm starving."

Althea frowned as Sirius directed her toward the cake cutting ceremony. What had she done? Sirius stayed by Althea's side the entire afternoon--the resentment of his overprotective, obsessive, arrogant behavior bubbled inside her. She was his trophy. The thought that he, indeed, had chosen that day to make his move and win the bet, seethed inside her--partially consuming her from enjoying the wedding festivities. However, she maintained her smiles whenever in the presences of Lily, and assured her friend the melancholy tones to her mood were due to her marriage and the loss of childhood. On all accounts, the wedding ceremony and reception were tremendous successes, and all who attended were content. The audience cheered as Lily and James flew off into the early summer evening to their honeymoon in Morocco.

Exhausted from the day's events, Althea walked into the library and sat on the couch. Picking up one of her father's travel diaries, she began to read; however, her mind was jolted out of reading as Sirius had entered the room. He leapt over the couch and sat next to her--his arm immediately sliding around her shoulders. Althea placed the book on the table next to her and turned her attention toward Sirius.

"I couldn't help but think about us," he whispered, between kisses on her neck. "I'm back with my love and she's all mine," he whispered, sliding his other arm around her waist.

"Sirius," Althea said, pushing him away, "not now, right."

"Right," Sirius replied, running his fingers through his hair. "We'll take it upstairs then," he added and winked, "or to your cottage?"

"No, Sirius," she sighed and Sirius frowned--Sirius despised the word no.

"Right then," he said, biting the inside of his cheek. "What do you have in mind?"

Althea sighed. "You took part in the bet," she said, staring into his eyes.

"Oh," he replied quietly, frowning. "Who told you?" he asked as he stood.

"It doesn't matter," she said, standing. "I just wanted to tell you it hurt me. It makes me question whether you wanted to get back with me or just win a bet."

Althea realized Sirius had not listened to her when he replied, "Remus--wasn't it? Remus told you."

"I asked him, Sirius. He didn't want to tell, but I wouldn't let him lie."

"I shouldn't have let him dance with you," he muttered angrily, pacing back and forth.

Althea's eyes widened. "Dance with me? Sirius, no one needs your permission to dance with me," she replied in amazement.

Sirius's jaw tightened. "You're my Althea," he said through gritted teeth.

Althea shook her head. "I am not your property, Sirius," she said, in disbelief of Sirius's possessive nature.

Sirius frowned. "You are my fiancée, does that mean anything to you?" he asked the anger in his voice apparent.

"Sirius, I am not your fiancée," she replied, folding her arms. "I didn't say yes, I said someday; however, the way you're acting it's a no."

"You're so selfish--you can't change your mind!" he said furiously and slammed his hand on the table. "I won't let you!"

Althea's body jolted from the shock of his words. "Let me? Let me?" she replied angrily, staring into his eyes. "You know, you haven't changed. You're the same pompous, twisted, jealous, obsessive individual I broke up with! You never let me go. I was never yours to let go. You don't own me. You can't own people, Sirius," she said fiercely, unfolding her arms.

Sirius laughed. "Well your family did," he scoffed--a self-serving grin across his face.

"A long time ago, Sirius, a long time ago, and it was wrong," she said, clenching her fists at her sides.

Sirius growled as he ran his fingers through his hair--tugging at it briefly. "Can't you see that I love you!" he shouted, frustrated, and kicked the table.

"You are touched in the head."

Sirius gave her a murderous stare.

"One minute you want to smother me with affection and the next you want to smother me to death. Which is it, Sirius? You don't know the first thing about love. You don't know the first thing about relationships. You are a lonely, insecure little boy who refuses to grow up. Well, I'm not going to feel sorry for you anymore. Oh, poor little Sirius Black who left his evil mummy and his evil family," she finished heatedly, as Sirius shook with rage.

"FEEL SORRY FOR ME?" Sirius growled, picking up a vase and throwing it against the fireplace.

Althea did not have time to watch it shatter and fall to the ground as Sirius had picked up a nearby antique chair and threw it across the room--it breaking apart as it hit a shelf of books. The force of the collision caused the shelf books to fall to the ground.

"Breaking my furniture now, are you? Go ahead."

"You're a coward!" he shouted, pointing his finger at her. "A bloody coward. If anyone should have joined the Order it should have been you, but you're afraid."

Althea laughed mirthlessly. "Me? A coward? Well, I have nothing to prove, do I?" she remarked, a wicked smile emerging across her face. "Always have to prove you're not like your family. Always have to prove that you're not your brother, or your cousin, or your cousin's husband, or your other cousin's husband, well, you get the point," she said, turning her attention to the book on the table next to Sirius.

Sirius noticed her newly directed attention. "What's this?" Sirius asked, pointing to a book on the table.

"Nothing."

"Oh, I think it is something," he said, picking up the book. "Oh, one of your father's diaries," he said, flipping through the pages.

"Put that down, Sirius," she demanded, the tone of her voice turning anxious.

Sirius laughed and loudly closed the diary. "I wonder what your father would have thought of you shagging a werewolf?" he asked, folding his arms. "He did write about them--didn't he? I bet he would have thought you a right little daughter--"

"Don't speak of my father!"

"Really now, you dragged my family into it. It's only fair," he said, unfolding his arms. "I wonder what he would have thought of us, what do you think? If a Death Eater hadn't killed him the news of his pregnant daughter would have."

"Don't you dare--"

"Lily told me the story about our baby."

The blood drained from Althea's furious face.

"She told me you discovered in January. She found you crying in the bathroom--the patch was blue, wasn't it? Blue for a boy?"

Althea's body shuddered.

"Of course you were frightened, waiting for the right moment to tell me. You saw me playing with Nymphadora, saw what a good father I'd be, and decided to tell me. Only, you didn't tell me," he continued and mockingly rubbed his chin. "That's right, you didn't tell me because a Bludger hit by a Slytherin caused you to lose the baby," he said, walking closer to her.

"And I'm glad too. I wouldn't want anything half yours growing inside me."

"You didn't feel that way at the time, did you? You were devastated," he said scathingly and laughed. "Of course, I have to wonder if that was my child in the first place."

Althea grabbed her father's diary from him. "Leave now, Sirius," she said coldly. "There will be no more bets because I never want to see you again."

Sirius frowned. "Because of you I'm out of getting ten Galleons."

Althea fought every urge of plunging the fire poker into his heart. "On my father's grave, Sirius, I wish you were dead because if a Death Eater doesn't kill you, be assured I will. Now leave."

"Fine," Sirius sighed. With a deafening crack, he was gone.

Althea sighed and sank to the floor.