Ebb and Flow

Hogwarts, Winter Fête, December 1977

***

"What will everyone think?" Lily asked nervously, as she turned from side to side in front of the mirror.

Althea rested her hand on Lily's shoulder. "I doubt they'll notice," she replied, staring at Lily's reflection in the mirror. Lily was beautiful in her dark blue gown--Althea felt homely next to her.

"I should cancel," she said, taking a deep breath. "James will understand, won't he?"

"No, he won't," she replied, frowning slightly. Althea applied another coat of lip-gloss and pursed her lips together. "Don't worry about what the other students think. I don't think they could get more shocked," she continued, handing Lily the vial of lip-gloss.

"Oh, I think they can," Lily said warily, turning toward Althea. "Anyway, Althea--is that mistletoe in your hair?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Why yes it is," she said proudly. She had partially pulled back her hair and inserted sprigs of mistletoe and holly. "I also have holly in my hair," she added, pointing to the small red berries.

"To match that red dress, of course," Lily smirked.

Althea rested her hands on her hips. "It's scarlet," she emphasized, playfully rolling her eyes. "It's festive and matches my dress," she added, pointing to the sprigs.

Lily chuckled to herself as she walked toward her bed. "McGonagall or some other professor will make you take the mistletoe out of your hair," Lily said as she grabbed her purse from her bed.

"Why, would they want to kiss me?" she asked, walking toward the door. "I'll wait for you in the common room."

"Right," she breathed, nodding. "We've kept them waiting for fifteen minutes now."

He's probably sitting there with his arms folded, she thought, hurriedly walking down the stairs. 'What do you do up there, Althea? You don't look any different,' is what he'll say. Of course, he doesn't know that James told me before our first date, Sirius spent ten minutes in front of the mirror adjusting his clothes and combing his hair. Althea slowed her pace as she entered the common room, and she frowned as she looked around the empty common room. Usually Sirius is the one waiting on me, she thought as her hand leisurely stroked the fireplace mantle.

Her last Winter Fête. Althea inhaled the fragrant scent of the pine branches that hung as boughs across the mantle. The common room was lavishly decorated for Christmas, and she smiled sadly--her last Christmas at Hogwarts. Where would she be next Christmas? St. Mungo's probably, an apprentice to some Healer--too busy to take time off for the holiday. She imagined herself next Christmas Eve or Christmas Day eating Chinese take-away with Sirius in his flat. Sirius's flat, she mused--her lips curving into a small smile. Messy, with very few pieces of furniture, and even fewer pots, pans, and dishes; however, he was proud of his little home. Sirius where are you, she thought impatiently, as she scraped chipping paint from the mantle with her fingernail.

The familiar, deliberate footsteps jarred her from her thoughts, and she turned to see a very handsomely dressed, beaming Sirius and a very nervous, very pale James. I've never seen him this nervous, come to think of it, I've never seen him nervous, she thought as Sirius walked toward her. James stayed behind, first shoving his hands in his pockets and then messing up his hair and smoothing it out again.

Sirius smiled as he took her hands in his. "You look amazing," he whispered and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks," she whispered into his ear. Althea noticed James continued to rise and to fall on the balls of his feet. "Is James all right?"

Sirius turned around and laughed, running his fingers through his hair. "He is in a sorry state," he replied, studying James. "However, he has been waiting for this moment for at least three years now."

Althea was about to reply, but stopped when Lily entered the common room. Sirius squeezed her hand as they watched James offer his hand to Lily as she stepped off the last step.

"You look beautiful--I mean," James said nervously and messed his hair.

Lily laughed nervously, and blushed. "Thank you," she replied and bit her bottom lip.

Is Lily blushing...she is, Althea thought, nudging Sirius's arm. Sirius turned to her, smiled, and kissed her cheek.

"Maybe, we should head to the Great Hall," Sirius said happily, motioning for Lily and James to lead.

The two nodded and led the group toward the portrait entrance. Althea rested her head against Sirius' shoulder as they walked toward the Great Hall. Two years ago, she would never have imagined herself attending the Winter Fête with Sirius Black, and now, James and Lily walked arm in arm ahead of them. Amazing how things have changed for us, she thought as Sirius gently stroked her back. The four briefly stopped at the entrance of the Great Hall as Sirius and James met with Remus and Peter.

"I didn't know Peter came with Ursula Rigg?" Lily asked quietly, nudging Althea's arm.

For Althea, it was a shock to see the tall, slender Ursula Rigg with the shorter, slightly pudgy Peter. She had to admire him for taking the prettiest seventh-year girl to the Winter Fête.

"I'm as surprised as you are. I thought she exclusively dated Ravenclaws," Althea replied as Iphigenia walked over to her. Althea smiled as Iphigenia stopped before them. "Where did you find that dress?" she asked, admiring Iphigenia's gown--a dark purple that highlighted her gray eyes.

Iphigenia blushed. "Thank you," she said quietly, looking at her dress. "My mum's a seamstress, and she made it for me."

Althea was impressed, and so was Lily. "Your mum's a seamstress? That is a fantastic dress," Lily said admiringly. "Absolutely gorgeous," she added, still looking appreciatively at the dress.

"Come on," Sirius said, taking Althea's arm. "Time for fun."

Althea and Sirius followed James and Lily as they entered the Great Hall. The Great Hall was decorated just as beautifully as previous celebrations. Sirius released her arm, and slid his arm around her waist as they followed Lily and James among the dancing students.

"You are, by the far, the most beautiful girl here," he whispered, his eyes scanning the crowd.

Althea smiled, but she did not smile at Sirius's comment. She was smiling at something more remarkable happening before her. The eyes, the whispers, the open mouths were directed toward Lily and James. You're wrong Sirius, Althea thought happily, as they walked toward the table, Lily is by far the most beautiful girl here. Sirius pulled a chair out for Althea, she sat down, and Sirius quickly followed. James pulled a chair out for Lily, and he nervously sat next to Sirius. Sirius, smiling smugly, rested his arm on the back of Althea's chair as she gazed at the crowd of happy couples. One couple caught her eye in particular. They sat at the other side of the Great Hall--the girl animatedly chatting with the girl next to her, and the boy staring at Althea and Sirius. Althea shifted uncomfortably in her chair as the boy stared at them with the utmost longing--at least that it was what she thought it was.

Sirius leaned closer to her. "Are you all right?"

Althea did not take her gaze from the boy. "Your brother, he won't stop looking at us."

Sirius held her tighter to him and eyed his brother warily. "Don't pay attention to him," he whispered grimly. "He confronted me this morning."

Althea turned her gaze toward Sirius. "What did he confront you about?"

"It's not important," he replied, shaking his head. "We're here to have fun, right?" he added with forced cheerfulness. "I am with the most beautiful girl here."

Althea furrowed her eyebrows. "No, it's obviously bothering you," she said, placing her hand on top of his.

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oh, right, that's fine," she replied, stroking the top of his hand.

Sirius shook his head. "No, here, I mean. I don't want to talk about it here," he said quietly, resting his forehead against hers. "Let's go somewhere."

Althea stood and followed Sirius through the large crowd of dancing students out into the corridor. Why would Regulus confront Sirius? After Sirius had left home, he avoided his family--except for Andromeda, her Muggle-born husband, and their young daughter. Regulus had not spoken to Sirius for over two years, and Sirius avoided him--abandoning the close relationship they once shared as children. Regulus obediently believed in the poison his family touted as truth--a pure-blooded wizard was inherently superior in ability and station; those that believed differently were nothing more than weak and outcasts. Had Regulus finally realized the lies of his family? Althea doubted Regulus had realized as Sirius opened the door to an empty classroom. She sat on the desk, watching as Sirius closed the door and paced the floor before her.

"Sirius, please sit down," she said as Sirius had stopped pacing.

Sirius ignored her plea, and ran his fingers through his hair--shaking his head. "She just doesn't get it--he doesn't get it," he muttered, dropping his hand to his side.

Althea stood and rested her hands on his upper arms. "Your brother?" she asked softly, gently massaging his upper arms.

Taking her hands in his, he led her over to the desk. "Regulus had a talk with me today," he began as he sat down. Althea sat next to him, holding his hands in her lap. "He gave me a letter my mother had written to me. She said all would be forgotten if I leave you, come back home, and take my rightful place."

"Rightful place?"

Sirius looked toward the ceiling and sighed. "As her son," he replied bitterly, his eyes returning to hers--his expression dark. "She said that things have changed and I'm needed," he explained and shook his head. "When have I ever been needed?" Althea remained silent as he continued, "I ripped up the letter, and he said that I was being unfair." He paused and chewed the inside of his cheek.

"Unfair--to whom?"

"Unfair to you," he sighed angrily, standing. Althea watched him as he stood and leaned his hands on the desk. "Somehow, I'm putting you in danger," he said, and shook his head as he laughed mirthlessly. Vigorously pushing himself off the desk, he stood with his fists clenched at his sides, frowning. "He said that if I loved you, and wanted you to live, I should stick to my own kind," he continued, his body tensing with rage. "My own kind!" he growled and punched the blackboard with his fist. Althea gasped and covered her mouth as the blackboard cracked around his fist--pieces falling to the floor and shattering at his feet.

Althea stood. "Sirius--your hand--it's bleeding," she said, reaching for his cut and bloodied hand.

"Don't worry about it, all right," he muttered, roughly removing his hand from hers.

Althea bit her lip as she gazed at Sirius; brooding, looking ahead of him, his injured hand at his side--the blood trickling and dripping off his hand and pooling onto the floor.

"Sirius," she said as she slid her arms around his waist, resting her face against his shoulder, "Sirius what did he mean by wanting me to live?"

Sirius rested his hands over hers. "According to them, we don't deserve to live because of our relationship."

"They want to kill me anyway," she replied and held him tighter.

Sirius released her hands, turned around, and brought his hands up to her face. "Althea, do you understand what we're up against?" he whispered, staring sadly into her eyes.

Of course, she knew what they were up against, but something about Sirius's expression frightened her. Why had Regulus spoken with Sirius, when he had not spoken with him in two years? Why now? Why would his mother send him a letter?

"What did he say to you?" she whispered, stroking the side of his face. "Did he say they were going to kill us?"

Sirius nodded and buried his face in her shoulder.

Inhaling a deep breath to steady herself, she asked, "When?"

"On Christmas Holiday," he replied, holding her tighter. "Your grandmother is safe, but we can't leave Hogwarts...not yet, at least."

Althea caught her breath and continued to hold him as he kept his face buried in her shoulder. He was not crying--she had never seen him cry, and she thought that maybe he was incapable of crying. Periodically, he would tighten and then loosen his embrace, as if he needed help squashing something. Maybe he wants to end this, she thought, closing her eyes.

"Sirius," she began, stroking her fingers through his hair. "Do you want to end this?" she asked quietly, the bitter tasting words lingering in her mouth.

Sirius pulled away from her and rested his uncut hand against her cheek. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know, maybe because you realize what it means," she said quietly, looking at the floor.

"I've always known what it means," he said, lifting her face. "It's just a bit unsettling to know how quickly my family would send us to the Death Eaters."

"I thought they weren't your family?" she reminded quietly.

Sirius smiled sadly. "Of course, they're not," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Anyway, Dumbledore assured me of our safety."

"How? He couldn't keep us safe last February," she replied, resting her fingertips against his chest. "We were almost killed."

"I wouldn't let that happen," he replied, resting his forehead against hers. "Dumbledore already knew of their plans this time...we have to trust him," he explained and kissed her lips.

Althea sighed as she pulled away from him. "Trust him," she murmured ruefully, sitting on the desk. Sirius sat next to her, mending his hand with his wand. "Honestly, let me do this," she said, taking hold of his hand. Althea pointed her wand at the gash--the blue light slowly closing the jagged skin. "You were never meant to be a Healer," she remarked and kissed his mended hand.

Sirius examined his hand as he flexed and extended his fingers. "No, that's why I have you," he replied and kissed her cheek. "Thanks."

Althea frowned and stared at her jeweled shoes. "Will it ever get better?" she asked and looked up to observe his reaction.

"I honestly don't know," he sighed as directed his wand to the broken blackboard and bloodied floor. "I believe they will be able to stop him, but when...I don't know."

Frustrated, Althea slammed her fist on the desk. "I'm tired of this," she said, staring at a crack in the floor before her. "Doesn't anyone see how absolutely ridiculous this is? They want to kill me because Grand was a Muggle? How can that bloody make you a better witch? Look at Jane, she was as pure-blood as they get and she could barely brew tea let alone a potion. She made the kettle explode and not to mention countless cauldrons. Do you remember the day McGonagall took her wand away for the entire class?"

Sirius threw his head back, laughing--the laughter echoed off the classroom walls. "I do remember and you're absolutely right," he laughed and kissed her cheek.

"I know I'm right," she replied, folding her arms. "That's why we're going back to the Great Hall. I won't let them rule my life."

Sirius smiled. "I was looking forward to dancing with you," he replied happily, taking her hand in his and he began twirling her around the classroom. "Do you remember last time?" he asked, waltzing her around the teacher's desk.

"I remember," she replied, smiling. "I told you I despised you."

Sirius frowned. "More like ardently despised," he corrected, "and how those words tore at my heart."

"More like your pride," she remarked as they rounded the corner of the classroom.

"I was madly in love with you," he replied as he quickly spun her.

"You were not," she said laughingly.

"Yes, I was. I fell in love with you the moment you gave me the Muggle sweets on the Hogwarts Express," he said, smiling.

"Liar," she teased and laughed.

"Anyway, I was madly in love with you--still am too." He noticed the mistletoe in her hair and began to laugh.

"What--you don't like my mistletoe?" she asked innocently.

"No, I love it," he replied and kissed her lips. "I want some though," he said, pulling a sprig from her hair and sticking it behind his ear.

Althea and Sirius returned to the Great Hall, and she was glad no one noticed their return. Weaving their way through the dancing couples, Althea and Sirius found James and Lily on the dance floor. Their eyes closed, Lily's head rested against James' shoulder--his head resting atop her head. Althea squeezed Sirius's arm and smiled.

"They're dancing so closely," Sirius whispered, smiling.

"I'm jealous," she sighed and winked.

Sirius slipped his arm around her waist and guided her to a spot next to James and Lily. "You never have to be jealous," he replied, holding her close to him.

Althea rested her head on Sirius' shoulder and closed her eyes. "Really," she murmured, inhaling Sirius's scent. "You smell lovely."

Althea could feel Sirius chuckle against her. "It's the soap I always use."

"I know, but you smell lovely," she murmured, holding him tighter.

"Please, part you two," Professor Vector warned and Althea opened her eyes.

Sirius laughed his bark-like laugh, which jolted Althea from her drowsy state. "Whatever you say, Professor," he replied, slightly pulling away from Althea.

Althea lifted her head and frowned. "Bloody chaperones always have to ruin our fun," she remarked, watching as Professor Vector tapped James on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, they'll move out to the courtyard soon," he replied, and smiled. "Oh, already they're going--catching some poor couple snogging, no doubt."

Althea turned her head in the direction of the courtyard and sighed wistfully. "I so wanted to go into the courtyard," she replied, turning toward Sirius. "Flitwick decorated it with fairies."

Sirius smiled. "Ah, but we won't be alone out there," he replied and winked. "Oh, don't frown. I know of a better place I want to take you tonight," he said, caressing her cheek.

"Tonight?" she repeated happily and Sirius nodded. "Where?"

"It's a surprise," he teased as he held her closer.

"A surprise," she repeated, resting her head against his shoulder. "Your surprises are always so odd."

"Odd? I hope it isn't odd," he laughed nervously, resting his head atop hers. "I pray it isn't odd...actually."

The chaperones returned, and throughout the rest of the night, McGonagall or another professor would tap Sirius's shoulder to have them separate. The notion that a professor would tell Sirius what to do caused Sirius to laugh and Althea would hold him even tighter. McGonagall threatened to give Althea and Sirius detentions for the mistletoe, but Dumbledore intervened. He thought it amusing and even asked for a sprig for himself. Althea sighed disappointedly as the band announced the last song.

"What's the matter?" Sirius whispered, stroking her back.

"It's the last song.... I was having so much fun," she murmured, as her fingertips massaged the back of his head.

Sirius kissed her lips. "Our fun hasn't ended. There is still the surprise."

"Oh, the surprise," she replied and giggled.

"Don't laugh, it's a wonderful surprise...or at least I think so," he whispered, ticking her side. "Let's follow James and Lily," he added as the song ended.

"Why?" she asked, pulling away from him. "I don't want to see them kiss."

"That's precisely why we're going to follow them--to make sure they kiss," he replied and winked.

"You and James--"

"No, not James and me," he interrupted, taking her hand as they exited the Great Hall. "You gave me the idea," he added, smiling, and pointed to the mistletoe in his hair.

The two quietly followed James and Lily as they walked down a lonely corridor. Althea and Sirius, kneeling, hid behind a rather large statue of two wizards. In one hand, Sirius held his wand and in the other, the mistletoe, ready to float it above James and Lily as they talked.

"I had a lovely time tonight," Lily said quietly, shyly looking at James.

"Yeah," James muttered, ruffling the back of his hair.

Lily smiled sweetly, removed his hand from the back of his hair, and with her hand, attempted to flatten it. She laughed as the part she had just flattened jumped up again, and James laughed as well.

"Yeah, it sort of does that," he said, screwing up his eyes at his hair.

"I like it," Lily replied, moving closer.

"You do?" James asked, a smile emerging across his face.

Lily nodded.

Althea grabbed Sirius's arm as James and Lily kissed. Sighing contentedly, she rested her head against his shoulder, and continued to watch Lily and James.

"See, we didn't need the mistletoe," she whispered as Sirius put his arm around her.

"No, we didn't," he whispered and kissed the top of her head. "Come on, I want to take you somewhere," he added, standing.

"Where?" Althea asked as Sirius helped her stand.

"Somewhere," he answered, smiling.

"I hope it's not too far," she remarked as they quietly left the corridor.

"It's not," he said, stopping in front of the portrait of Agnes Dunwen. With his wand, Sirius tapped on the portrait. "It's just a little farther."

Just a little farther, Althea thought as she climbed the circular staircase. Where in Hogwarts is he leading me? At the top of the staircase was another corridor that ran perpendicular to the staircase. Sirius turned left and Althea followed. A small distance from the staircase, Sirius stopped and tapped his wand three times against the wall. Suddenly, the wall moved to the right, revealing another passageway or room--she could not tell. Sirius held her hand as they entered the dark abandoned room.

Sirius cleared his throat, and with his wand illuminated the cobweb-covered candles. Althea's eyes attempted to adjust to the warm colors of the room, and soon, she gazed around the room, realizing it was an abandoned professor's quarters.

"Althea?" Sirius said softly, standing a few feet from Althea.

"Yes?" she said quietly, eyeing the old four poster bed.

For a moment, Althea studied the flickering movements of the shadows cast in the candlelight. So, she thought and bit her bottom lip, this is the surprise. At the thought of what was to come, adrenaline jolted through her abdomen, causing her torso to prickle and radiate with warmth. Taking a deep gulp of air, she turned toward Sirius, who smiled weakly.

Sirius took a step forward. "I thought--well--well, I thought--"

"Okay," she breathed, looking into Sirius's eyes.

Sirius's eyes widened slightly. "Okay?" he repeated and took a deep gulp of air. "You mean, you want to?"

Althea nodded slowly, clasping her trembling hands behind her. Don't let him see that you're nervous, she thought as her heart thumped wildly against her chest.

Sirius let out a small laugh of surprise. "Right," he said hoarsely.

Fighting her nervousness, Althea smiled, and Sirius caressed her cheek--her warm skin tingling underneath his fingertips.

***

Sunlight reflected off the newly fallen snow, cascading through the stained glass window, woke Althea from her sleep. For a few brief moments, she refused to move, fondly remembering everything that happened the past night. Slowly, she opened her eyes to see, within inches of her face, Sirius smiling at her.

Sleepily, Althea smiled. "Good morning," she whispered, brushing the hair from his eyes.

Sirius kissed the tip of her nose. "Morning."

"How long have you been awake?"

"I just woke up," he said, scratching the side of his face.

Sirius sat up and stretched--arching his back as his hands reached for the ceiling. Althea noticed a crescent moon tattoo upon his shoulder blade. She raised her hand and traced its outline with her fingertip.

"Is that what you chose?"

"What?" he asked, turning to face her.

"Your tattoo."

"Oh," he said, reaching to touch his shoulder blade.

"I saw it this summer, but I never asked you--"

"Oh. Didn't I tell you?"

Althea shook her head.

"James nicked the books from McGonagall's quarters," he said, attempting to look over his shoulder at his tattoo. "I was never much for Potions."

"So, you didn't use my father's journal?" she asked, sitting up.

Sirius grinned as he looked upon her. "No," he murmured.

Althea sighed happily, flinging herself upon the bed. Sirius collected those ingredients for her and her alone. You're so good to me, she thought, staring dreamily at the ceiling. Suddenly, Sirius with an eager grin pounced atop her. Althea giggled as he fiercely kissed her neck.

Propping himself up, he looked down upon Althea, and said, "I want to spend more mornings like this."

Althea smiled. "I'd like that."

"You would?"

Althea nodded.

"Marry me."

Althea's face paled. "Marry?" she repeated breathlessly and wide-eyed.

"Yes, marry me," he replied laughingly and kissed her cheek.

Althea closed her eyes and swallowed a breath. "But--but I thought you wanted to become an Auror?" she asked shakily, opening her eyes.

"Not anymore--there are other ways of battling dark wizards," he answered, smiling to himself. "And what does an Auror have anything to do with you marrying me?"

Althea took another deep breath. "But--but what about what I want?" she asked, looking into his eyes. "I--I don't know what you expect of a wife, but--but I won't be around much. The first year at St. Mungo's is exceptionally difficult, don't you remember?"

"Of course, I remember," he replied dismissively. "There's no change--you're still going into that program."

Althea sat up. "But we--we're so young," she added, furrowing her eyebrows. "You said at least thirty."

Sirius laughed. "I didn't mean get married today," he replied, continuing to laugh. "If you want to say no, just say so."

"No--no--wait," she said, grabbing Sirius's forearms as he shook from laughter. "What I mean--oh, never mind," she said and sighed, shaking her head. "I suppose you can tell our grandchildren of how I made a complete idiot of myself when you asked me to marry you."

Sirius stopped laughing and his mouth slowly contorted into a smile. "Grandchildren? Are you accepting my proposal?"

Althea nodded.

"A nod is not an acceptable answer," he teased and winked.

Althea sighed. What am I doing, she thought as she stared at a grinning Sirius. He looks so happy and I do love him. And last night...I have no regrets. He's obviously spent no time thinking about this, or has he? This probably was on a whim anyway--you know how he is. Look at him, he looks so sincere. You love him, and that is all that matters, she thought, and inhaled deeply.

"Yes."

Sirius let out a small noise of triumph as he pulled Althea closer to him. "We don't have to marry straight away," he said excitedly. "It would be too difficult, I think. No, we could wait until after the war."

"After?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "It would give us something to look forward to--"

"To fight for?"

Sirius nodded.

"You've thought this through, haven't you?"

Sirius shook his head. "I love you, you love me, what is there to think about?"

"Nothing--"

"Right," he said and tenderly kissed her lips. "Nothing else matters."