Ebb and Flow

Hogwarts, O.W.L. Exams, June 1976

***

"You could've responded to my letter," Lily said, sitting down next to Althea. "Flitwick's so small he wouldn't have seen you over the desks."

"I know," Althea replied, resting the side of her face against her knees. "I didn't want it intercepted, though. But, I do think we should send Jane tonight--"

"Why me?" Jane interrupted, pouting.

"Because I'm a prefect and Althea's too suspicious. No one would suspect you were up to something. Plus, the House-elves love you," Lily answered, grinning and slipping on her left sock.

"Don't remind me," she murmured, looking over Althea's shoulder. "Oh, he's so gorgeous," she whispered dreamily as she tied her shoe.

Althea and Lily turned to see what Jane was looking at. James released the Snitch and caught it almost out of reach as Sirius haughtily looked around the lawn.

"Look at him, what's he looking round for?" Lily laughed, still looking at the four.

Althea frowned slightly. "He's allowed to look around," she replied as James made a fantastic catch of the Snitch.

Lily laughed once more. "Oh, don't you defend him, Althea," she teased, nudging Althea in the shoulder. Suddenly, Lily stopped laughing and raised an eyebrow at Althea. "I never thought I'd ever utter such a thing."

Althea became uncomfortable. "What? I wasn't defending him. He's allowed to look around," she explained and bit her bottom lip. Althea's eyes widened as James almost didn't catch the Snitch. "Bloody hell, Potter, you lose the Snitch and I'll take a bat to your head."

Lily sighed as she shook her head. "As if I'm supposed to be impressed."

Jane stood up on her knees. "Peter is," she replied, wrinkling her nose as Peter squealed with delight.

"Maybe we should put a red wig on Peter and parade him round as you," Althea remarked, resting on her elbows.

"You'd think it would work?" Lily asked, giggling.

"We could try...in the dark, he wouldn't know."

Lily groaned, flinging herself back onto the grass. "Why do we have the most obnoxious boys of any year in our House?"

"You have to admit, though, they are entertaining," Jane said, rubbing her hands together.

Lily sat up. "To a point, Jane. The point being they know they're entertaining."

Althea's uneasiness increased as they continued to discuss the four. "Let's forget about them and concentrate on this beautiful day," she replied, crossing her legs at her ankles. "Jane, can't you look away from Black for at least five minutes?"

Lily laughed once more. "She couldn't. She kept staring at him as he sat for Defense Against the Dark Arts," she teased as Jane blushed.

Althea laughed. "You're hopeless, you know that."

"I'm not hopeless. I'm hopeful," Jane replied brightly.

"Ugh," Lily huffed, as the three turned in the direction of the loud, laughing voices. "Why don't they leave him alone?"

Althea shielded her face from the sun so she could see. "Bloody hell, now there's a crowd."

"Why doesn't Lupin do something? He's a prefect," Jane said, her eyes obviously transfixed on Sirius.

"They're his friends," Althea answered, watching Sirius and James advance on the defenseless Snape. "Plus, you've never been on the receiving end of one of Black's curses."

"What's it like?" Jane breathed and covered her mouth, her eyes widening as she watched Sirius.

"Painful," Althea said matter-of-factly. She shook her head, watching Sirius laugh as he taunted Snape, and murmured, "I can't believe I--" but stopped before finishing what could have been a humiliating statement.

"Can't believe what?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I can't believe I'm in the same House as that awful Black," Althea answered, deliberately looking Lily in the eye.

Lily looked at Althea suspiciously, but as James laughed loudly, Lily quickly turned her head. "Honestly, can't there be one day without this? We're tied with Ravenclaw and if we lose anymore points, I'll hex him myself," Lily replied, shaking her head. "I'm putting an end to this right now."

"Lily, I wouldn't," Althea warned, "it could make the situation worse."

"Believe me, I'll do worse to him," she replied angrily and stood. "Aren't you coming with me?"

"Me?" she asked, placing a hand to her breast. "What do you want me to do? Distract Black so he forgets about Snape? No, thank you," she remarked, looking toward the commotion. "I haven't been hoisted into the air since February and I'd prefer no one seeing my knickers, right?"

"Charm your skirt, then--"

"It doesn't matter," she interrupted, shaking her head. "The Sticking Charm doesn't work and I don't want Black commenting on my knickers."

"Althea, you bend over and anyone can see anyway," Jane piped up and Althea glared at her. "Sorry, it's true."

"Right," Lily sighed with disappointment and frustration directed Althea.

Althea shrugged and watched as Lily turned on her heel and walked toward the crowd.

Althea lay against the cool grass and closed her eyes. The warm sunlight massaged her skin and warmed her body. Why can't the O.W.L.'s take place outside, she thought as she stroked the soft grass with her right hand. However, Lily yelling at James Potter broke Althea's early afternoon reverie. Althea sighed and brought her hands to her face. Not again, she thought, and raised herself up onto her elbows to see the uproar. She watched as Lily turned on her heel and left James standing, dumbfounded.

"Potter, Potter, Potter," she said aloud as James ran his fingers through his messy hair. "You will never date Lily if you keep acting like a stupid git."

Not that I'd want you to win her.... I think she could do much better, she thought and closed her eyes and lay back on the grass. Of course, with my feelings for Black, anything's possible now.

Althea heard frantic, quick footsteps and she opened her eyes. Out of breath, Jane blurted, "Snape--Snape just called Lily a--a--you know!"

Althea immediately sat to attention. The blood vessels in her arms began to constrict and she clenched her jaw in anger. No one ever called Lily Evans such a hateful name--at least not to her face...especially not her good friend.

"He what?" she growled as she stood.

"He called her a--a--you know," Jane said, not wanting to repeat what Snape had said. "Lily tried to stop Potter and she did--"

"She did?" Althea interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I was just as surprised, but Snape didn't appreciate it," Jane continued to explain and turned her head to look toward the crowd. "Oh, now we'll really lose House points!" she said fretfully, twisting her clasped hands.

Althea angrily turned her head in the direction of Snape and James. James had Snape upside down and a larger crowd had gathered. The crowd was laughing as James threatened to remove Snape's underpants. Althea shook her head in disgust...but not at James and Sirius. No, her anger was focused on Snape. All these years, all those damn apologies! 'Be nice to him, Althea. He's my oldest and dearest friend. His father beats him! You don't understand!' Well, I bloody well do understand! Lily could no longer make excuses for her friendship with Snape. Althea felt vindicated. She no longer had to feign at best indifference.

"You have to do something before a professor sees," Jane implored--her eyes looking from the crowd to Althea. "We can't lose House points!"

Althea laughed at Jane's request. "Me? What should I do?" she asked and felt surge of delight as Sirius started to spin Snape. "I want to hex him myself!"

"Go over there and stop them, of course!"

"Oh come on, Jane," she scoffed, folding her arms. "As if I could go over there and stop Black and Potter. I'd be upside down as well!"

"Lily did...briefly. I'll help."

"Bloody hell," Althea sighed as she imagined Jane--with all good intentions--accidentally hexing the entire crowd. "No, I think you should go find Lily," she continued and Jane smiled. "She'll need someone right now. Her oldest and dearest friend is an absolute bastard."

"So, you'll do it?" she asked happily.

Althea reluctantly nodded, and Jane--excited--quickly walked off to find Lily. What the hell am I thinking, she thought, watching Jane walk toward the castle. They won't listen--I mean--Remus should be the one doing something, not me...and all I want to do is blast that Snivellus across this lawn! Althea walked toward the dwindling crowd and took a deep breath--she still did not have a plan. Did she need a plan? Yes, of course, she needed a plan. She could disarm them, but that would be almost impossible, and if she did, she would hate to return to Gryffindor Tower that night.

James and Sirius laughed and taunted Snape as he floated upside down. Althea stopped behind the pair as she felt pangs of guilt--how could she have those feelings for someone so cruel? Here was Sirius at his most cruel point--publicly humiliating another human being for fun. Moreover, how could she find delight in it? Serves him right, she thought as Snape, upside down, frantically waved his arms and spurted out expletives and hexes. Still, Althea felt a little sorry for Snape--he looked pathetic--and in a few moments, it might be her in that position.

Althea took a deep breath as she approached the pair. "Put him down, Potter," she said, with a forced calmness--her wand pointed at the back of James's head.

James and Sirius turned to look at her and Sirius's mouth dropped open. "Morrigan, didn't you hear what he said about Evans?" James pleaded, pointing toward Snape, who attempted to right himself in the air. "He disrespected your best friend. Where's your loyalty?"

"I heard what he said, and it was wrong. I'd hex him myself, but put him down," she said, steadily holding her wand at his face. "We can't lose anymore House points."

"Morrigan, honestly, you wouldn't hex James now, would you?" Sirius asked and rested his arm on James' shoulder. "Not your Quidditch Captain?"

"Exactly, not your Quidditch Captain," James added, smiling.

"Black, you of all people should know what I'm capable of," Althea said, not lowering her wand. "Besides, we won the Quidditch Cup already. So, put him down."

Sirius threw his head back in disgust. "God, you really know how to ruin fun," he groaned and shoved his wand into his pocket. "Right, mate, it's lost its fun."

"No, it hasn't!" James laughed. "Who washes your underpants, Snivelly?"

Peter laughed shrilly.

"I'll tell Lily," she lied quickly and James' head abruptly turned to look at her. "I'll tell her that after she left, you let Snape go."

Snape stopped struggling. Althea fought a smile. She knew if there was one person Snape loathed more than anyone it was James Potter. Serves you right, you awful wanker, she thought as James eyed her.

"You would?"

Althea nodded.

She leaned close to James. "Let Lily deal with him later," she whispered. "You and I know that she's run off to the library to look up some particularly gruesome hex. It will be spectacular."

James shrugged and muttered the counter curse.

Snape fell to the ground and Althea bent down to help him collect his things.

"How dare you say that to Lily?" she whispered heatedly, handing him some pieces of parchment. "She has done nothing to you!"

"I don't need your charity!" he snapped, grabbing the parchment from her hands.

"Right," Althea said, tossing the parchment on the ground. "Lily doesn't need you either."

Snape mumbled something Althea did not hear, but Sirius charged forward with his wand ready to strike. "What did you call her?" he roared, pointing his wand at Snape.

Althea looked in the direction of Snape. A small, wicked smile spread across Snape's pallid face. "I called her a filthy, Muckblood tart," he said, shoving his papers into his bag. "Why should you care so much, Black?"

"You!" Sirius growled, but Althea raised her hand to his wand arm.

"No!" she yelled and forcefully lowered Sirius's arm.

Althea held onto Sirius's arm, which was still tightly holding his wand. She studied Sirius's reaction at this moment. She watched as he took in deep steady slow breaths, how his eyes flashed with rage, and how his teeth and jaw clenched in anger. Her heart skipped when she thought he was angry with Snape for her--maybe what Sirius had blurted out last month was true.

"Disgusting Muckblood!" Snape snarled. "Has to have Black come to her rescue."

"Stop!" Althea whispered to Sirius who was about to charge Snape. Her hand rested against his chest--his heart pounding powerfully against her hand. "He's not worth it."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Sirius snapped, pushing forward. "Let me go so I can curse this son of a bitch across the lake!"

"Struggled there a bit, Morrigan, in the Defense against the Dark Arts exam?" Snape taunted as she held Sirius back along with James--who held the back of his robe. "Realized, no doubt, that you can't receive an O by pouting or flirting?"

"Shut it!" Althea shouted and loosened her grip on a struggling Sirius. "I'll hex you myself!"

"Unlike the professors and the rest of this school, I can see through you. Oh, the perfect Morrigan, who can do no wrong. Oh, everyone feel sorry for the perfect Muckblood, whose dirty Mudblood father got himself blown up."

"ENOUGH!" Sirius roared and Althea let go of him.

Both raised their wands at Snape, but he was prepared and a beam of light spewed from the tip of Snape's wand. Althea felt herself falling to the ground--had she been hit? Stunned from the fall, she realized she was safe and she had not been hit with the curse. However, she felt enormous pressure on her chest and looked down. An unconscious Sirius was lying across her--he had pushed her out of the way and had taken the complete impact of the curse. Bloody hell, this isn't good, she thought as she rolled him off her and knelt at his side. Sirius lay sprawled across the lawn, unconscious, with a small amount of blood trickling from his nose. Panic escalated in her as other students began to crowd around the fallen Sirius and the kneeling Althea.

"Black!" Althea said, slapping his shoulder. "Black wake up!"

James knelt next to Sirius. "Is he all right?" he asked, frowning--worry developing in his eyes.

"I--I don't know," she answered, stroking the side of Sirius' face. "Black, wake up."

"Come on, mate, wake up," James said, shaking Sirius' shoulders.

"What sort of curse did he use on him?" she murmured, with her handkerchief wiping the blood from underneath Sirius' nose.

"I don't know," he replied, looking Sirius over. "Dark though--Snivelly will be in loads of trouble."

"Good," she muttered, "whatever it was, Snape deserves it right back. It's awful."

"Don't worry--wait, when did you start to care what happens to Sirius?" James asked with a smirk.

"What? I don't--wait, what?" she replied, feeling her face flush with warmth.

James laughed loudly. "Morrigan does have a heart!" he replied and slapped Sirius on the shoulder. "Wake up!"

"Don't you dare say anything!" she replied quickly as James continued to laugh.

"Your secret is safe with me," he began and looked around him, "and this crowd surrounding us."

"Damn it," she murmured, and frowned as she looked at James's face. "Oh, Potter, you're bleeding onto your robes."

James shrugged. "You can add it to what you tell Lily."

Althea furrowed her eyebrows. "Why--why did he do this?" she asked, her fingertips touching Sirius's cheek--his skin was very soft. "It's not like him--Snape has never beaten Black--"

"Isn't it obvious?" James remarked, looking from Sirius to Althea. "You've made him stupid, Morrigan."

Slowly, Sirius began to show signs of consciousness. Thank God he's regaining consciousness, she thought, as she soothingly caressed the side of his face. Althea smiled as he opened his eyes, caught herself doing so, and quickly stopped. Carefully, he sat up and the crowd cheered.

"Are you all right?" Althea asked, and Sirius nodded his head.

"What's your name?" James asked, resting his hand on Sirius' back.

"I think I know my own name," he replied and rubbed his forehead. "Why am I on the ground though?"

"I think you should explain," she said to James. "I need to find Lily. Look after him."

Althea stood and started to walk toward the castle. In the confusion, the crowd had forgotten about Snape, who had finished collecting his things. It felt like lightening surging through her body as she watched Snape pick up his bag--everything negative anyone had ever said or did to her erupted inside her. The pain of abandonment, the hatred of her grandmother, and the confusion of her feelings for Sirius had found an outlet. How convenient Snape chose this day to insult Lily! She wanted to hurt Snape. Taking out her wand, Althea approached Snape.

"Snape," she said and waited for Snape to turn to face her.

Snape turned to face Althea, eyeing her with mild annoyance. "It's you."

"INFLIGO!" she roared as she thrust her wand in the direction of Snape's chest.

A flash of blue light erupted from the tip of her wand, making Althea take a step backward from the force. The large ball of blue light hit Snape in the chest and erupted all around him. The force of the eruption sent him flying backward in the air; he somersaulted and landed behind the bushes some fifteen-feet away. Althea's arm dropped to her side, and she tightly clutched her wand as she realized what she had done. She knew Snape lay motionless on the other side of the bushes. Althea turned around, disregarding the stares and open mouths of the smaller crowd, and walked away.

She kept walking, walking past her normal resting spot by the lake. She walked along the lakeshore on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Her body continued to buzz and to hum with adrenalin. It felt good. It felt really good. She had never cursed anyone with such force or desire before. At this moment, she did not care what Lily would think. Snape deserved it. Althea wondered how many times Lily stood by or made excuses for Snape as he derided Althea. He's never called me those things in her presence, she thought and closed her eyes. Althea smiled as she realized she actually enjoyed watching Snape somersault through the air. She continued to replay the event in her mind as she walked further and further along the lake.

"Potter and Black will never let me live this down," she murmured. She levitated a pebble and tossed it into the lake.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her and she hid behind some bushes.

"Morrigan! Morrigan, where are you?"

Althea's heart felt as if it dropped to the bottom of her stomach--it was Sirius. Althea did not dare come out of the bushes--she stayed behind them silently observing Sirius. He paced back and forth shouting for her. Althea thought it strange that he would have followed her, and would have thought Jane or Lily would be the first to find her.

"Morrigan! There you are, Morrigan," he said, looking up at the tree.

Althea covered her mouth to stifle her laughter--he thought she was the raven in the tree.

"Morrigan, come down here! That was bloody fantastic what you did back there! Snape just woke up! Morrigan, come down here," he said, staring at the raven in the tree. "Stop crowing at me."

Althea bit her lip to hide her laughter, but it was no use. She stood behind Sirius and laughed. Sirius quickly turned around to see a laughing Althea. He looked at her and then, back at the tree with the raven still perched on its branches. He ran his fingers through his thick black hair and laughed.

"So, you're all right?" Althea asked as she shoved her wand in her robe pocket.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm all right," he said, walking toward her.

"Er--thank you for--before," Althea said clumsily and bit her bottom lip.

"You're welcome," Sirius said, and paused for a moment--running his fingers through his hair. "Morrigan, that was bloody brilliant," he added, smiling.

Althea lips curved into a small smile. "Yeah, it was, wasn't it?"

Sirius let out a laugh of surprise. "It was nice to see someone else at the receiving end of one of your curses."

"I've never used that on you," she replied, feeling the back of her neck warm.

"I'm very pleased about that, too," he said and winked.

Althea's smile faded--she thought about the lost House points. "Damn. I really shouldn't have done that--"

"Yes, you should've!"

"No, really, I shouldn't have. I'm no better than he is now...and I really don't want to be like Snape," she explained and wrinkled her nose.

Sirius made a face. "I don't even think Snape wants to be Snape," he replied and Althea frowned. "You heard what Snape said--all those horrible things he said about you and Evans!" Sirius placed his hands on Althea's shoulders. Althea's body briefly became rigid underneath his touch. "He deserved it."

"He did, but--"

"It was Dark Magic, Morrigan. Do you think he would have let you walk away? No, he would have used Dark Magic against you--Dark Magic. You have no idea how horrible it is! Did you see the gash across James' face? Look what he did to me; there was no way he would have left you there unharmed."

Althea refused to answer his questions and refused to look at Sirius. "Now he has a reason to," she said quietly.

"Look at me," he said, turning her face toward his. "If Snape ever--ever tries to hurt you--I'll kill him," he finished, staring into her eyes.

Althea was about to question his sincerity, but stopped when she saw the determination in his eyes. He leaned forward and quickly kissed her softly on the lips. Althea had no time to process what happened because he had taken her by the hand and was leading her back to the castle.

"I--I can't go back," she managed to say, stopping at her favorite spot by the lake.

"Yes, you will," he said and tried to pull her forward.

Althea was not about to move. "No, I can't. I can't face Lily."

"Oh, come on," he groaned, throwing his head back. Sighing, he took both of her hands and looked into her eyes. "You are coming back with me, right? You are going to take the Transfiguration O.W.L. and get an Outstanding on it," he demanded and gently squeezed her hands. "Don't worry. I told McGonagall it was me who did that to Snape."

"You did what? I can't let you do that," Althea said, blushing.

"Yes, you can. Now, let's get back," he said, taking her arm and the two walked forward. "We don't want any more rumors about us, do we?"

"No," she murmured as they walked toward the castle.

"You know, this last one was the worst," he explained and nodded with a smile as he saw James, standing by the beech tree.

"Madam Puddifoot's," she laughed, "like I'd ever go there."

"Right, how do you think I feel? I have a reputation to maintain. I take my girls to broom cupboards."

Althea frowned.

"It's a joke," he said and clapped James on the shoulder. "I don't."

James and Sirius shared a look, and Sirius winked, which caused Althea to frown. What the hell is going on, she thought as James smiled.

"Morrigan, you were amazing," James said, beaming. "Bloody brilliant," he added and patted her on the back.

"Come off it, Potter," she replied. "I sunk to your level. I intended to stop the both of you from us losing more House points."

James laughed and rolled his eyes. "We won't lose a House points for a thing like that," he replied, taking her arm and leaning close to her. "I had you all wrong, you know--can't be self-righteous all the time, can you?"

"Just leave me alone," Althea replied, breaking free from the both of them.

Sirius cast James a knowing look. "Anyway, Morrigan, this is cause for celebration," James continued, taking hold of Althea's arm. "You're coming out with us. What you did to Snape--I'm a little impressed," he whispered as he walked with her.

"You're easily impressed," Althea replied, frowning with a trace of amusement. "Wait, what are you talking about--'coming out with us'?"

James and Sirius smiled. "Tonight, we're going to have a little fun and you're invited," James said, winking.

Althea opened her mouth and turned her head from side to side to look at the two of them. "No, there is no way I am going with you two. No, no way," she said, shaking her head.

"Oh, come on, Morrigan," James said, playfully nudging her. "We won't get into too much trouble."

"Well, not anymore trouble than we usually do," Sirius added, jokingly nudging her other side.

"Oh great, just enough to get us expelled," Althea remarked as she attempted to hide a small smile emerging from her face.

"Right, you sneak out as much as us," James said with mock indignation.

Althea stopped walking. "No, I don't," she replied, "and how would you know?"

"Oh we know, Morrigan," James replied in a fake ominous voice.

"We have our ways," Sirius added, with a wink.

"Come of it, Black," Althea said teasingly.

"It's the truth," Sirius said emphatically, staring into her eyes. "Would I lie?"

"Probably," Althea quickly responded. Sirius's mouth fell open in surprise, and James--laughing loudly--heartily patted her on the back, which made her stagger forward. "Honestly, I don't want to spend my evening with you both," she explained, breaking away from them.

"Would you rather spend your evening with one of us, then?" Sirius asked, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder. "James, perhaps?"

"No, I wouldn't," she replied, stooping to pick up her bag.

A smile slowly crept across Sirius's face. "Would you rather spend your evening with me, then?" he asked and the strap of her bag slipped from her shoulder, jerking her sideways.

Althea tightly clutched her bag and nervously bit her bottom lip--it had to be a joke. "I--I better go find Lily," she replied as Sirius' smile faded.

"When you find her, tell her my offer still stands," James said casually, winking.

Althea rolled her eyes and quickly walked off. The conversation had made her uncomfortable. Why would they want to spend the evening with her? When she dated Remus, they wanted nothing to do with her, and now she recognized that the pressures of his friends had doomed the relationship. As if I would say, 'Sirius, would you like to spend the evening with Lily and myself?' Ridiculous, she thought, walking into the castle. It's not normal and it just doesn't happen. I don't care what they said, they don't do that sort of thing.... Unless they wanted me to persuade Lily. I would never do something so underhanded to my best friend! Lily's not the Quidditch Cup...her affections can't be won.

Althea found Lily and Jane outside the Great Hall waiting for the next exam to begin. Lily did not say anything as Althea stopped and sat next to her on the floor. Althea rested her head against the cool wall and observed Lily as she intently studied for the Transfiguration exam. You don't need to study, Lily, she thought as her best friend turned the page. You don't have to prove yourself to them. You're smarter than those pure-bloods could ever be--you're smarter than I could ever be, by far, she thought as Lily looked something up in the index and turned back to the page she was reading. All around, you're a better person, and I so want to be like you, but I fail miserably. Sometimes, I think I'm the bad influence--that I shouldn't be your friend; that you wouldn't do half of the things we do if I weren't here.

"I'm sorry," Althea said quietly, peering over Lily's shoulder, "about what Snape said."

"Oh, never mind about that," she said, not looking up from her book. "I never want to talk of him again."

"Well then, what's bothering you, then? I've never seen you study Transfiguration with this concentration," she replied, and grabbed the book from Lily, and she made a half-hearted attempt to retrieve it.

Althea handed the book back to Lily. "It's Potter," she sighed, placing the book in her bag. "He asked me out again. He asked me out when he was taunting Snape." Althea nodded and Lily continued, "I just don't understand it. I asked him why he treated Snape that way, and would you like to know his reason?"

Althea nodded.

"He said because he existed. What type of reason is that?"

"Not a very good one," Althea responded, raising her knees to her chest.

"I just wish he'd leave me alone," Lily said angrily. "Almost everyday he asks me to go out with him. I thought by the second or third no he'd have stopped."

"He's a persistent berk, isn't he?" Althea remarked and winked.

"Althea!" Lily gasped.

For the first time Althea saw it. She had wondered for some time why Lily was slightly obsessed with James Potter's behavior. Lily watched James from the sidelines and commented to Althea on everything he did. At first, Althea thought this was Lily and her sometimes self-righteous attitude, but now Althea's thoughts had changed. Lily had a secret crush on James Potter. Althea let out a small laugh as she looked at Lily, and quickly covered her mouth. She should not laugh at her best friend--countless schoolgirls had fallen under Potter's charms.

"What is so funny?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Althea replied, shaking her head. "Nothing."

***

What steps are involved in inanimate to animate transformation? Althea stared at the last question--what are the steps, she thought, twirling her quill between her fingers. She quickly wrote down the steps and easily added a few extra explanations to each step. Finished, she reread her answers and satisfactorily placed her parchment on the desk before her. She looked around at the other students busily writing and noticed she was the first student done. She was always a fast test-taker, but it never meant that she new the material any better than the other students--she just worked quickly. Althea sank back in her chair and quietly amused herself by observing her friends. Jane was frantically writing and then scribbling out her answers. Lily, on the other hand, chewed the end of her quill--thoughtfully looking at each question and carefully constructing her answer. Of course, she'll get an Outstanding, she thought, twirling her quill on her desk. I never understand why she studies.

Althea shifted her gaze back to Jane, who had now dejectedly set aside her test and went back to what she did best--staring longingly at Sirius Black. Sirius, of course, was unaware of--or indifferent to--Jane's undying devotion to him. Of course, he had plenty of girls that stared longingly at him with the same devotion as Jane. Jane was just another blue-eyed blonde shuffled in the mix. Althea questioned why Sirius had asked Jane to the Winter Fête. She thought Sirius barely recognized Jane's existence, and would be the last person to ask Jane to the Winter Fête. Maybe he felt it out of some Gryffindor duty, Althea thought as Jane sighed behind Sirius. Jane was the only Gryffindor above fourth-year without a date--well, except for James and me. She had refused at least four boys, waiting for Sirius to ask her.

Althea's eyes leisurely wandered to Sirius, who was sitting in front of Jane. She studied him intently as he concentrated on his O.W.L exam. Everything about him was smooth--even the movements of his hand, as he created the gentle strokes with his quill. The hand that created those gentle strokes was long and supple, but strong. Althea glided her gaze up Sirius's muscular arm to his casually bent head. His black hair rested leisurely against the thick black lashes encircling his grey eyes; she followed the refined narrow lines of his nose down to his lips.

Slowly, Althea raised her hand to her own mouth. She had forgotten, absorbed in the commotion and the exam that Sirius had kissed her. The blood quickly drained from her face as she slowly sank in her chair. How did it feel? She couldn't remember--something as important as that and she couldn't remember. Althea threw her head back in humorous frustration. Had she kissed him back? She leaned her head forward again and paused for a moment in an attempt to remember--she could not remember kissing him back. Althea gazed in Sirius's direction--he had finished his test and leaned back on the two legs of his chair. Jane's hands nervously caressed her desk as she forlornly gazed at Sirius. Althea understood that more than anything Jane wanted to touch him. If Jane could just touch his hair or just touch his back, Althea knew Jane would be satisfied for the moment.

A small, self-satisfying smile crept across Althea's face as she attempted to remember her guilty pleasure. He had danced with her, had comforted her, had protected her, and had kissed her--Jane just had that one night at the Winter Fête. Althea's stomach retched with guilt--he had not even kissed Jane at the Winter Fête. Just after Althea had left, he had left, too. Afterward, Jane mercilessly taunted her--it was Jane's night and Althea had ruined it. Althea could not stand one moment out of the spotlight, so she had to reclaim her divine right by dancing with Sirius. She knew she deserved the criticism and did not fight back. No matter how much she wanted to, Althea could never have a relationship with Sirius. She did not know how Jane would react to such news and was afraid to know. It would certainly devastate Jane, and the turmoil would engulf Lily. Lily meant everything to Althea, and she needed Lily more than ever.

However, Althea wanted to confront Sirius about the kiss. She wanted to ask him why he had kissed her, but felt ridiculous for thinking the question. What if it had meant nothing? Sirius was flirtatious. What if it was just an innocent cheer up kiss? However, Althea had to remind herself that innocent was not the first word that came to one's mind when describing Sirius.

***

Althea prayed that Lily never discovered what happened after she left the lawn. Unfortunately, Jane casually had mentioned the day's earlier events as she heard it from their fellow Gryffindor fifth-years, Mary Macdonald and Martha Lennon, after dinner.

"You did WHAT?" Lily scolded and folded her arms.

Althea quickly glanced at Jane. Was she imagining it, or did Jane have a smile on her face? What is Jane up to, she thought, frowning in her direction. Jane positioned herself next to Lily and smiled back at her--Althea clenched her hands into tight fists. Althea knew Jane naturally would not blurt something like this to Lily. Unless...unless she wanted Lily to find out, Althea thought, that little backstabbing slag. She directed her attention back to Lily and her heart sank into her stomach--Lily's eyes glistened from tears and her bottom lip trembled.

Althea sighed and took Lily's arm. "Let's go somewhere private," Althea said sullenly. "Jane, you understand, don't you?"

"Of course, I'll be in the common room if you need me," she said, and Althea thought she saw a small sparkle in Jane's eye.

Althea and Lily found an empty abandoned classroom to talk. Althea closed the door as Lily sat in an empty desk chair. She sat across from Lily and nervously folded her hands in her lap.

"Right, where should I begin?" she said quietly, and stared into Lily's disappointed eyes. "After you left, Potter and Black continued to taunt Snape. Jane came over frantic at what Snape said to you. I was so angry, but I went over with every intention of stopping it--"

"But something went terribly wrong."

"Lily, Potter let Snape go. Snape insulted me and Black heard," she said, not able to face Lily--she looked at Lily's tie instead. "Called me a 'Muckblood tart.' Black was about to hex Snape, but I stopped him."

"You stopped him?" Lily asked and moved closer to Althea.

Althea nodded. "Snape continued to insult me and then he insulted my father. He called my father a 'dirty Mudblood' and taunted my father's murder! I let go of Black--I wanted to hex him. Snape raised his wand too...but this time, Snape was faster and Black--Black pushed me out of the way so I wouldn't get hit," she said, and took in a deep breath. "Then--then I was so angry I blasted Snape across the lawn."

"You--you did that to Snape?"

"I'm so sorry. He's your friend and...well...damn it, Lily!" Althea stood and clenched her fists at her sides. "Friends don't say those things! Do you believe me now? Do you? If Black hadn't pushed me out of the way, I would've been hit with that curse! It was Dark Magic! There was blood! If Black hadn't protected me, it could've been me bloodied and unconscious! How would you have excused that?"

"I couldn't--"

"Were you friends with Snape out of pity? 'Be nice to him, Althea, his home is awful.' It's what you'd say to me!"

Lily remained quiet.

"Do you tell Jane a similar story about me? 'Be nice to her, Jane, she hasn't got a mother'? Do you make excuses for me too? Are we friends because you pity me?"

"No!" Lily stood with her hands clenched at her sides. "How dare you even think--he's made his choice and I've made mine! I won't make anymore excuses for him." Small tears rolled down Lily's cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

Althea pulled Lily close to her. "I'm so sorry, too," she said as Lily shook against her.

Lily let go of Althea and wiped her eyes. "Thank you, for defending me," she said quietly. "I heard the curse was a sight to see."

"Yeah, well, Black is taking all the credit for it," she said ruefully as the two girls sat. "It's the best kept worst kept secret in Hogwarts history."

Lily took Althea's hands. "This isn't good, Althea. Now you're in Black's debt, and I don't want to know what he'd want in return," she said and frowned. "You have to stay away from him. You have to tell McGonagall it was you."

"Don't worry, I will tell her. I can't let him take the blame for what I did," Althea said and looked down at her shoes.

"You're not telling me everything that happened, are you?" Lily asked and craned her neck to be face to face with Althea.

Althea's stomach somersaulted. "Lily...Black...kissed me," she said and winced.

Lily sat up and covered her mouth in shock. "Did you slap him?"

Althea shook her head.

"Did you kiss him back?" Lily face paled.

Althea shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I--I don't remember. Maybe...maybe not...it happened so quickly."

Lily gasped and waved her finger at Althea. "You--you fancy him, don't you?"

"What--what are you talking about? I don't--"

"Don't you dare lie! You do fancy him!" Lily said ardently. "I remember you telling me that you could handle him and if you did fancy him he'd cursed you," she said, resting her hands on Althea's arms. "Maybe he has cursed you?"

Althea shook her head. "No, he hasn't cursed me."

"So, you fancy him?" Lily replied, frowning, and took her hands off Althea. She folded her arms and studied her friend.

Althea felt awkward. "Do you think I like this? I didn't want to fancy him, but it happened--slowly--but it happened," she explained and stood. She leaned against the teacher's desk and kicked the ground with her shoe. "He's different, Lily. I don't know how to explain it. Something did happen this year.... Do you--do you think he fancies me?"

Althea looked up at Lily, who seemed to struggle with her answer. "I reckon after today, his feelings for you are very clear," she said and stood. "He couldn't control how he felt.... Oh, but you know the rumors, Althea. Remember behind the greenhouse? Remember in the broom cupboard next to the Great Hall? Remember in one of the abandoned classrooms? He'd use you like those other girls," she added as she leaned against the teacher's desk. "You deserve better."

"Don't you think I know that?" she replied, rubbing her forehead. "Lily, nothing will ever become of my feelings. I know how much Jane fancies him, and I know what would happen if Black and I were ever to date. I couldn't do that to Jane."

Lily rested her hand on Althea's back. "Very true," she said, "but Jane is just as infatuated with his brother. She'd take either, actually."

"Do you think he wrote those letters to me?" she asked and rested her head on Lily's shoulder.

Lily rested the side of her face atop Althea's head. "I don't believe so," she said. "His actions are very direct and the letter writer has gone to great lengths for you not to discover him--to go as far as making the letters untraceable. It's very advanced magic. Black is intelligent, but not that intelligent for that sort of magic."

He is an Animagus, Althea thought.

"I do wish I knew who was writing them," she said and sighed.

"He'll make himself known by the end of term."

"You think so?" Althea asked and lifted her head from Lily's shoulder.

Lily nodded. "You'll have to make a decision, then: Black or the letter writer."

Althea smiled faintly. "I have to choose the letter writer, haven't I?"