Ebb and Flow

Hogwarts, May 1976

***

What does he want? He's been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes, Althea thought, staring at Sirius. Sirius sat next to Althea on one of the couches in the Gryffindor common room. Usually, Sirius would have acknowledged her presence by now with some derisive remark.

"Is there something you need?" Althea asked, turning toward Sirius.

"No, no. Er--I just wanted to thank you properly for mending my hand," he said. "Do you care to see how it's healing?"

"I suppose so."

She had forgotten she told Sirius she would look at his wounded hand after a few days of healing. Sirius had received a detention from Professor Erlenmeyer, and afterwards had returned to the Gryffindor common room with a grotesquely bleeding hand. Embedded into his flesh was the word hubris--produced by the special quill Erlenmeyer used for the extreme cases of detention. James had pleaded for her help because Sirius refused to see Madam Pomfrey. Althea took his bandaged hand into hers. Carefully, she removed the bandages around his right hand and held it closer to her for inspection. She gently ran her fingers along side the wounds and looked for signs of infection. She felt Sirius' pulse quicken under her fingertips.

"I don't see any infection," she said, still holding his hand close to her face. She was surprised at how soft his hand felt in hers.

"That's good," Sirius replied, moving closer to Althea.

Althea caught her breath. "I--I don't think you need to wear the bandage anymore."

"I don't think so either," he said and took her hands in his.

Althea took a ragged breath--they were so close. Sirius caressed her cheek with his fingertips, and Althea closed her eyes as Sirius cupped his hands around her face. Her heart raced as he passionately kissed her lips and then her neck as he slowly slid his hands underneath her blouse....

Althea immediately sat up from her nap--panicked--and took deep labored breaths, hoping her heart would stop racing. She wildly scanned the dormitory room for others, but found that she was alone. She was in a hysterical state--how could she have dreamt about Sirius? She was tired of those dreams--why would her mind create such nightmares? Last night, it was a moonlit walk by the lake; the night before, it was on the Quidditch pitch; four nights ago, it was her home in Bermuda; and a week ago--most awful--at Madam Puddifoot's tearoom. The dream always ended the same way--Sirius telling her he loved her.

Althea took her hand and vigorously rubbed her forehead. "Black, get the hell out of my dreams," she mumbled, still groggy from her nap.

Althea stood from her bed and searched for her shoes. She had to find a place she could concentrate on something other than the dream about Sirius. After her father died, she needed a place to be alone without the threat of someone finding her--a place to remember her father. To her horror, her grandmother had started to dispose of her father's things, and despite her protests, did not stop. She needed to escape, to mourn, and to remember her father. After one such confrontation, as Althea walked the corridor--so distraught and desperate to remember her father--a room on the seventh floor appeared before her and contained everything she loved about her father. It looked exactly like her father's study in Bermuda where she liked to play when she was younger. The walls were a light moss, covered with artifacts collected from his travels and pictures of Althea and her mother. A large leather sofa rested underneath the window and a large piano sat in the corner of the room facing the wall of books.

Althea immersed herself in her piano playing, forgetting about her dream. It was the first time since her father died that she did not cry while playing the piano. He was the one who taught her to play, sitting her on his lap when she was three. Her father taught her first to play the 'Für Elise'--the quintessential piece in any young pianist's repertoire. She remembered how proud she was when she could play that song without one mistake for her father. When she had finished, she sighed, and stared back at the piano keys before her. All of a sudden, Althea heard clapping from behind her. Who had discovered her secret room? She sat rigid and prepared herself to face her audience.

"You've found the room, then?"

A very embarrassed Althea felt her neck and collar warm. Black, why did it have to be Black, she thought as the blush traveled down her chest. She turned in her seat to face him. He stood at her father's desk.

"I discovered it my second year--with James, of course," he explained, his fingers glided along the edge of the desktop. "Hiding from Filch...it never looked like this though."

Althea felt uneasy that he touched the memories of her father. "How did you find me?"

Sirius shrugged and leaned against the desk. "What is this place?"

"It's my father's study," she replied, sitting forward as Sirius picked up a picture frame, "in Bermuda."

He looked up from the picture frame. "Is this your mum?"

Althea nodded.

Sirius carefully set the picture frame on the desk. "That was amazing," he said, pointing to the piano.

"Amazing?" she repeated, smoothing a curl behind her ear.

"Yeah," he said, walking toward her. "I never had much patience for the piano. Did you write that?"

"Oh--oh no, I didn't write that. Um, Beethoven wrote that," she said and gently bit her bottom lip.

Sirius raised one eyebrow and gave a puzzled look.

"I forgot, you don't know who Beethoven is," she said aloud, looking to her skirt. "He's a famous Muggle composer."

"Well, do you know more by this Beethoven?" he asked, and took a chair from behind Althea and sat down next to her.

"I can play one more of Beethoven's by memory, but the rest I'd need sheet music for," she said, looking from her skirt, to the piano keys, to Sirius.

"Do you know any other songs from memory?" he asked, leaning closer to her, and Althea felt her neck growing even warmer.

"A few," she managed to say, taking in a shallow breath.

"Could you play them?"

"All of them?" she asked quietly, not taking her gaze from his grey eyes.

"All of them," he repeated, staring into her eyes. Althea felt her heart pound wildly against her breastbone.

"Right," she whispered and took a deep breath.

At first, Althea attempted to maintain devout concentration on the pieces. She tried concentrating on the music, her playing, the way her fingers glided along the keys, the keys themselves, and finally the name of the piano company. However, she could not concentrate anymore as she could feel Sirius to the immediate left of her. She slowly glanced out of the corner of her eye to look at him. Sirius sat close to her, very absorbed in her piano performance. His lips were slightly parted, as if in awe of what was before him, and Althea let a small smile escape. She was not as nervous anymore. She felt an enormous growing power.

"Do you find this fascinating?" she asked as she finished playing.

"Yeah," he quietly replied and turned toward her. He leaned close. "Do you know any Muggle rock n roll?"

"Perhaps," she said and started to play.

"No, no, no," he said, placing his hand atop hers.

Althea stopped playing and slipped her hand out from underneath his. "What? That's Muggle--"

"That's not rock n roll," he said with a look of condescension. "It's something some Muggle granny would listen to--"

"It's Elton John!" she said, sitting up straight.

"Exactly," he said, and before Althea could protest, he set sheet music before her. "This," he said, pointing to the sheet music, "is rock n roll."

Althea looked at the title and giggled. "You're joking, right?"

Sirius sighed, but that cutting remark she was so accustomed did not come--in fact, it had not come for some time. "You could try it, at least," he said and tapped a key with his finger.

"It's not meant for the piano--"

"It doesn't matter," he said, placing her hands on the keys. "I'd like to hear it."

"Right," she sighed and started to play. "I'm not singing it."

"Of course, not, Morrigan," he said, attempting to hide a smile.

"Reckon he prefers 'Tiny Dancer,'" she muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, Black, just enjoy the song."

Althea bit her lip to keep from snickering as she continued to play and Sirius hummed and sang the words. Of all the Muggle songs, he wanted me to play this one, she thought as she finished. Lily would never believe this.

"Brilliant," he said. "I reckon it's best left to a guitar, though."

"Indeed," she said and arched her back.

"You surprise me, Miss Morrigan. You repeatedly receive the highest marks in Transfiguration, you're a Seeker, and you're an Animagus. I can't find anything you are not good at--"

A rush of excitement surged through her body. "Oh?" she asked, in feigned innocence, and faced him.

She stared directly into his grey eyes and for the first time she saw the great and cool aura of Sirius Black splinter. It was exhilarating.

"Or maybe I have...or maybe Snape has."

The great, cool, and overly confident aura of Sirius returned. Althea frowned slightly.

"I'm not surprised," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "What have I done this time?"

"It's your Potions work, Morrigan," he said and winked.

Althea looked away in an attempt to cover her smile. She knew she was unorthodox in her Potions work. Unlike the grim Snape, Althea believed there was room for laughter in the Potions classroom--even if it meant an occasional melted or exploded cauldron...like that morning. It was not her fault, really. She noticed the sign Sirius had stuck on the back of Snape's school robe--'The Fun Starts Here'--and had not realized how much ingredient she had added to her potion. She was smart enough to duck under the table--unlike Jane who spent the afternoon in the Infirmary with half of her face purple. Still, to think about it caused her snicker.

"I don't know what you are talking about," she said mischievously. "I get decent marks, and I think might've gotten a better mark than him once. Of course, I can't take all the credit--Lily is brilliant at Potions. I just follow her lead."

"You should hear him mutter those dreadful things about you during class, and in the library, and in the Great Hall, and in the hallways," Sirius said, counting the items off with his fingers.

"Oh, I do," she replied. "That I'm a worthless half-blood--or the more polite term Muckblood--that I don't deserve half the marks I get, and that I only get them because--well--I'm versed in various methods of extra credit."

"It's disgusting."

"Indeed?" Althea raised an eyebrow.

Sirius nodded. "His father's a Muggle and his good friend--as you said--is a Muggle-born," he explained and bit the inside of his cheek. "I don't understand it."

"I don't either."

"He can't be friends with one and then shout epithets and curses at the rest. What sort of friendship is that?"

"I've wondered that myself."

"It puts you in a position, doesn't it?"

"Yes, yes it does," she said distantly. "I wonder if Lily believes me. He never says them round her, of course. He bullies Jane as well...sees us as a threat, probably." She frowned slightly.

"I'd never be mates with someone who treated a mate of mine like that," he remarked and sneered. "Cowardly, I think."

Althea reached into her robe pocket for her wand. "Are you saying that I shouldn't be friends with Lily? Because if you are, I will hex you. I don't care about that stupid debt, I'll do it."

"No, no, I didn't mean that!" he replied, holding his hands up in front of him.

"What did you mean then?"

"I meant," he said, his hand gently coaxing her wand arm down, "she shouldn't be friends with him. Have you ever jinxed him?"

"No," she said, slipping her wand into her robe pocket.

"You should stand up to him, jinx him a bit," Sirius encouraged, nudging her.

"Why?"

"He deserves it!"

"He's pathetic and I have better things to do with my time than jinx him," she said and stood from the piano bench. "I like to forget he exists. I don't want to be like him: jinxing students because he feels they deserve it--just because they're not pure-blood and don't fancy a bit of the Dark Arts."

"You wouldn't be like him--"

"Yes, I would," she replied as she walked toward the leather sofa. "You're not much better, Black. What's your excuse?"

Sirius knocked over his chair as he leapt from it. He grabbed her arms and quickly spun her around. Stunned, Althea caught her breath.

He tightly held her arms as spoke to her, "How dare you insinuate that I have anything to do with Dark Magic! How dare you think I'd be a loathsome purity fanatic! Take back what you said, Morrigan. I know you don't believe that."

Althea did not take her gaze away from him. "How do you know what I believe? I see you jinxing other students in the hallway--did any fifth-year jinx you when you were a fourth- or third-year? No, they didn't," she explained, hoping something would register inside him. "Has Snape ever hurt you? Why do you torment him?"

"Because he torments you!"

Althea's eyes grew wide. Sirius developed a look of embarrassment and horror, as if he did not mean ever to say it, most of all to say it to her. He let go of her and massaged the back of his neck.

"And the others--you know--the non-pure-blood," he added, avoiding her eyes.

Althea blinked and slowly sat down on the edge of the sofa. "Right," she breathed, looking at the floor in front of her.

Sirius cleared his throat.

"I--I'm sorry," she said, looking up. Sirius stopped pacing. "I shouldn't have said that."

His expression softened. "Thank you," he said. He righted the fallen chair, but instead of sitting in it, he walked toward her and sat next to her.

"You loathe those things just as much as I do," she said and bit her bottom lip. She refused to look at him as she continued, "You're nothing like him. How Lily could remain friends with him after what he did after my father died...."

Sirius' hand gently stroked her back as she fought back tears.

"I don't understand it either."

Althea sniffed and looked toward Sirius. "Why did you confiscate those Daily Prophets?" she asked and Sirius stopped stroking her back.

"You didn't need to read it," he said and rested his arm to the back of the sofa behind her. "No one did."

"It's a horrible paper," she said and leaned back on the sofa.

Sirius hastily retracted his arm. "It is," he said. "The love advertisements and Quidditch scores are the only reasons to read it."

Althea laughed quietly. "Love advertisements?"

"Haven't you read those? They're a great laugh."

"Are they?"

"Yeah," he answered, smiling to himself. "James and I want to send one in on Snivelly's behalf, but the damn paper has age restrictions."

"Seventeen and older, right?"

"Bloody Age Charms," he muttered, scratching the side of his face. He let his arm fall to his side--his hand within millimeters of hers.

Althea startled as Sirius' hand brushed against her hand. What seemed to be a thousand little electrical sparks pleasantly traveled throughout her body as his little finger gradually wrapped around her little finger. She felt her neck and chest flush once more.

"Why are you here?" she asked and wished her body would cool.

Sirius did not answer.

"Is it about the Quidditch match? I know about the different time--Potter told me earlier."

"No, no," he said, taking her hand in his. "There's something I really need to tell you."

"Oh?" Her entire body grew increasingly hot. She looked ahead at the door--she did not blink.

He was silent for a few moments before he said, "I'm glad that you didn't have to leave Hogwarts." He gently pressed her hand. She had a feeling that was not what he wanted to say at all.

There was an awkward silence. Althea did not know if she should remove her hand from his. She rather liked it where it was now, and Sirius did not seem to mind either. She felt him stroking the back of her hand with his thumb and she bit her lip trying to hide her nervousness. She heard Sirius quietly clear his throat and she felt him shift his body closer to her. Her heart began to pound wildly and she realized she had stopped breathing for a few moments.

"Padfoot...."

She disregarded the strange whispering noise and turned her face to meet his....

"Padfoot.... Padfoot...."

Althea opened her eyes and quickly moved away from Sirius.

"Bloody hell," Sirius muttered darkly and shoved his hand into his robe pocket. He pulled out a small mirror and narrowed his eyes as he looked into it. "What do you want?"

"When you see Morrigan, tell her about the change in time." Althea recognized it as James' voice.

"She knows already," Sirius said through gritted teeth. "You told her."

"I did?"

"Yes, you did--earlier today. You could ask her yourself as she's here with me."

"Oh--oh, right. I did. Sorry."

"Never mind. I'll talk to you later," Sirius said and shoved the mirror back into his robe pocket. "He's such a berk," he muttered, shaking his head.

"I--I should go," Althea said quickly, standing up. "It's very late. I'll see you at the match tomorrow."

"Wait," Sirius said somewhat awkwardly and stood. "I'll walk with you."

The walk to Gryffindor Tower was silent and very uncomfortable. Bloody hell, I can't believe I almost, she thought and could not finish her train of thought. She glanced to her left at Sirius. He looks just as embarrassed--that was not supposed to happen. Glad that I didn't leave Hogwarts? He found me just to tell me that? Althea's eyes widened as she entertained the idea of what he really wanted to say. No, she thought as they approached the Fat Lady's portrait. No, he isn't the one.

Sirius stopped with is back to the portrait. "I should apologize for interrupting you."

"It's all right, really," she said and frowned as Sirius blocked her exit from him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, stepping closer to her. "I interrupted your piano playing."

"It's all right," she said, clasping her hands behind her back. "You sounded a bit like Paul Rodgers."

Oh, that was such a stupid thing to say, she thought as her neck grew warm.

"Yeah?" he laughed nervously. "You like Bad Company, then?"

Althea nodded. "One of my favorites," she said and crossed her right leg behind her.

"Right."

The two went silent. Althea wondered why Sirius had not said the password.

"You haven't coaxed her to change the password again, have you?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't have to say that I fancy you or something like that?"

He chuckled quietly. "No," he said and winked.

"Althea?" Lily asked from behind her.

Sirius and Althea looked at one another mortified. Damn, she thought as she slowly turned to face Lily. Lily did not say anything to Sirius but took Althea's hand, said the password, and dragged her toward the girls' dormitory. Althea turned her head to look back at Sirius in the common room, but he was not there.

Lily flung her onto Althea's bed. "Althea, what were you doing?" she whispered, but to no avail, Jane was awake, ready to interrogate Althea as well.

"You didn't sneak out again?" Jane asked, sitting on Althea's bed.

"Yes, I did," Althea answered, rubbing her tired face with her hand.

"But with Black," Lily added, shaking her head.

"You were alone with Black?" Jane squealed and Althea and Lily both shushed her to be quiet. "I'm enormously jealous," she added in a whisper.

Althea had to think fast. "There is nothing to be jealous about, Jane. I was helping him with Muggle Studies," she said, hoping they would believe her. "He had an essay on Muggle music."

Lily narrowed her eyes and Althea took in a nervous gulp of air. "Where were his books?"

"I don't remember an essay on Muggle music," Jane said and her eyes grew wide. "You liar! You were with Black!" she whispered heatedly.

Althea's mouth dropped open in shock with Jane's accusation, and she threw her pillow at Jane's head. "No, Jane!" she said in an exasperated voice. "He's not my type anyway," she added, and blushed at the awkwardness of her words. "You're the one that wants to snog him, not me."

"Well, what were you two doing?" Lily asked, folding her arms. "It's almost midnight."

"I could say the same for you," Althea said and Lily scowled at her. Althea took in a deep breath and prayed this excuse would work. "Revising Quidditch plays," she said and was proud of herself for thinking such a good excuse. "Now, if you two don't mind, I have a game tomorrow and I need to prepare for bed."

She left the two girls on her bed and went to her cupboard to collect her things. After she prepared for bed, she returned to the fifth-year girls' dormitory room. She was the only one awake at this time of night and quietly crept over to her bed. Jane was asleep, softly snoring in the bed left of Althea's bed; however, Lily was still awake and greeted Althea as she reached her bed. She sat next to Lily, who was blocking Althea from her pillow and precious sleep.

"Althea, I still want to talk to you," Lily whispered and Althea winced slightly. "I know you weren't talking about Quidditch. You are a dreadful liar."

"It's nothing, Lily," she said and sighed longingly at her pillow. "Really."

"I'm worried about you."

"Why? I can take care of myself," she replied, pulling her knees to her chest.

"That's what I'm talking about. Althea, I think Black might try to take advantage of you."

"Advantage of me? You can't be serious. What would he want with me, Lily? I'm just Morrigan," she said. "You see the girls he goes for--petite, pretty, and blonde. I'm nothing like them," she added, smoothing a curl behind her ear. "Honestly, I'm the last girl he wants."

"Althea, you obviously don't see what I see--"

"Obviously," she interrupted and rolled her eyes.

"Listen, this year it seems like he's going out of his way to talk to you--to be near you--"

"Lily, he's a Beater. I talk with the other members of the team all the time, and he's no different," she interrupted again, talking a little louder due to annoyance.

"I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"You," Lily said and rested her hand on Althea's arm. "In the time I've known you, you've hated Sirius--"

"And? What are you getting at?"

Lily looked into Althea's eyes, and shook her head. "When was the last time you told him to 'sod off'?"

Althea did not say a word.

"I remember you telling him to 'sod off' or to 'bugger off' at least three times a day, but now, I don't think I've heard you tell him in over a month or so."

"So?" she replied defensively and folded her arms.

"So, I'm worried. Althea, he views girls as conquests, and you'd be his greatest so far."

Althea stifled her laughter--her the greatest conquest?

"Please, me his greatest conquest? Lily, you know those are just rumors--just like the rumors about me. People just say them because we're--we're different," she explained, unfolding her arms.

"Exactly. You are different. You are the most exotic girl here. No one has traveled or lived in as many places as you. No one else has a tattoo or has the clothes and jewelry you have," Lily began, placing her hands on Althea's shoulders. "You are beautiful--don't argue, Althea."

Althea looked down and avoided Lily's gaze. "Lily you don't have to worry--I won't be his conquest," she said and added, "and if I do fall to his charms, he's probably using a Love Potion or an Unforgivable Curse."

She looked at Lily to see her reaction and gave a wry smile. Lily still looked concerned for Althea's welfare--on the verge of tears.

"I just couldn't stand it if he hurt you! You've been through so much," said Lily, sniffing back tears.

Althea rested her forehead against Lily's forehead. "Listen," she whispered, "I know you're worried, but there is nothing to worry about. It'll be all right--believe me--I can handle him." She gave Lily a hug. "I thought you would be happy we're civil."

"I am--"

"Now, I need to go to sleep"

"All right, goodnight," she said and went back to her bed next to Althea. "Just throw something at him tomorrow, at least?"

"Right, I'll throw Jane's copy of Witch Weekly at him," said Althea, as she crawled under her covers and waited for welcomed sleep. "Goodnight."

Althea lay awake in bed and watched the moonlight shimmer across her duvet. She looked over in the direction of Lily's bed and watched her for a few moments as she slept. Was Lily right, did Sirius think of her as a conquest? It could have been possible. It was widely known that Althea thought of Sirius with the utmost hatred. Therefore, it would be a remarkable feat to win over the affections of Althea. She despised Sirius' pride. Sirius came from a life of privilege. He never went without and always received what he wanted. It did not matter the price--whatever he wanted was automatically granted to him. Althea's outward repulsion of him must somehow attract him. She did not want to be his trophy. Sirius had told her that his family despised anyone less than pure-blood, and Sirius was at odds with his family over their beliefs. What better way to rebel and to irritate his family than date Althea? She did not want be his method of revenge.

Althea gazed out the window at the stars flickering in the sky. She recounted everything she and Sirius had said that night. He had been so candid and exposed with her. Was she really the reason he tormented Snape? Althea remembered the mortified expression on his face when he mentioned the initial reason he hassled Snape--her. Her stomach leapt at the possibility that he did so in an attempt to protect her. Did he have feelings for her? Moreover, did she have feelings for him? The thought that she felt anything other than hate or indifference toward Sirius caused Althea to shudder. For a while now she had felt different around him--especially after the night on the school grounds. Some small compassionate part overtook her while she was around him. She felt ridiculous and awkward at times. She was more conscious of her Quidditch playing as well--something she never thought of before. She always wanted to be at her best, and sometimes caught herself looking out of the corner of her eye checking to see if he was looking at her. She used to rationalize the glances as necessary against his teasing; however, the thin veil of her rationalizations unraveled as she caught herself looking at him for pure enjoyment.

Althea wondered what would have happened if James had not contacted Sirius. Would they have kissed? They were so close and his breath smelled of peppermint. Althea closed her eyes and imagined what it would have been like to kiss Sirius. She wondered if it would have been as sensual as the rumors described or as intoxicating as her dreams. A small part of her anticipated her sleep.

A terrified Althea abruptly sat up in bed and gasped in horror. "Oh my God, I'm falling in love with Sirius Black!" she frantically whispered.

She lay awake the rest of the night covering her mouth with her hands, hoping those words would never escape her mouth again.