Death Whispers

Chapter Twenty - I Spy

Later that evening, August 1st 1980

Severus stood on the outskirts of the perimeter. He looked at the camp or what was left of it. He crouched hidden in the bushes looking onto the grounds; carefully placed away from where the Aurors and Mediwitches had set up camp. It was busy with activity, people looking for family members and patients being treated for starvation, and injuries occurred in testing. Severus knew he would be safe as he watched Rockwood lead the questioning. Rockwood was a fellow Death Eater and spy in charge of the Department of Mysteries. Severus snorted, there's irony for you.

"Severus," a whisper.

"Lallie!"

"Look at this," she grinned, "we are making huge progress, stopping this was the greatest thing, thank you."

"Don't thank me," Severus spat, pushing himself away from her and confused by his bitterness. "I don't deserve this or you."

"Of course you deserve this," she smiled, "you came back."

Severus smiled nervously, he wondered how much he should tell her. Severus had always been the "odd one" the one who was "dark" how could he handle being thrust into the side of light.

"Come on," Lallie coaxed, "are you ready?"

Severus felt naked but nodded.

"Well then, take this," and she held out an old shoe. Severus grabbed one side of it and Lallie held onto the other. Looking into her clear blue eyes Severus smiled and they both felt the familiar lurch.

The Order of Phoenix was an order established by Albus Dumbledore to fight against Lord Voldemort. Lallie was a member and had brought Severus to their headquarters. Heads turned as the dark man walked through the corridors of the house in Godric's Hollow. The house was small looking from the outside but far larger inside.

They came into a large circular room where six or seven people were rushing about talking and yelling orders. It was the hull, setup like an army intelligence room, flashing maps were strewn up over the dark walls and fires were lit with people talking. Papers were strewn across a huge desk where Albus Dumbledore himself sat. People were talking to the old wizard and owls fluttered to his table.

Upon Severus arrival there was an alarm, his ears rung painfully and suddenly Severus gasped and choked. He couldn't breath.

The noise caused everyone to stop what they were doing. They looked at him as he grew red faced and fell onto the floor. Lallie spun around and looked down at him her face etched in worry. The members present all drew their wands.

"Uncle," Lallie called the fear still resounding in her voice.

Albus stood and looked at the two, his eyes calculating and cautious, as he waved his wand. The old man was shocked. Severus collapsed on the ground gasping for air.

Dumbledore suddenly crossed the room with the speed of a younger man. Severus kept pulling ragged breaths trying to restore the oxygen to his brain. Dumbledore and Lallie were both crying and clutching each other. Severus still hunched on the floor could see only their feet as a wand was thrust into his adams apple.

"Choking Charm," said a familiar bossy voice, "only works on Death Eaters!"

Severus looked up and into the eyes of James Potter. He was overwhelmed with second thoughts.

"Severus," Dumbledore said, pushing down James wand and helping him to his feet. The old man was crying freely now, his familiar blue eyes twinkling happily from beyond a pool of tears, "You saved her."

"He's saved them all, he'll save us all," Lallie said proudly pushing James back, this made Severus happy.

"Come, come," said Dumbledore pulling him into a private room and closing the door after him. The room was darker with light streaming through a stain glass window. The dust was floating in the light gently and Dumbledore magiced three chairs for them to sit on. He was still holding Lallie tightly as if afraid she might disappear right from under his fingers.

They fussed with each other. Dumbledore's head bent affectionatly whispering in her ear and smiling wildly, then Dumbledore grew serious as Lallie told him about the camp, underplaying his role and overplaying his saving her. He looked from her to Severus, he old face in a tight grim mask. Severus sat uncomfortably beside them.

"You saved her," he stated matter of factly.

"She saved me," Severus replied and the old man chuckled.

"Lallie has that effect on everyone. So tell me Severus, are you prepared to join us."

Severus was shocked by the honesty of the question. There was no anger, no denial, no fear, no waiting. It put Severus on edge, his natural reflexes flaring with danger.

How far can I trust this man who takes my confessional? He had not expected to come straight into the lions den. The man before him was blindsighted by nobility. Severus closed his eyes in agony, but all he saw was her face, and the colours of those feelings. Feelings of happiness, freedom, love? Feelings he had never felt before, feelings he only experienced in dreams. Feelings he knew he would die for.

He opened his eyes and gazed into the deep piercing stare. Then he stood alone to make his confession, before judge, jury and his own soul. He stood like a lone tree on a hilltop ravaged by a storm.

"I am," he said and his breathing felt even easier.

After Dumbledore just gazed at him distantly for a minute. He suddenly jumped forward and grabbed Severus in his arms holding him tightly. Severus gasped at the gesture, gritted his teeth, but could not stop the sob that escaped from his mouth.

"Welcome back to us child," the old man whispered.

They stood in that awkward embrace as Severus wept on the older man's shoulder. He wept his painful confession. His position in the Death Eaters was higher than they had ever been able to reach. Severus' confession was mixed with gentle questions as Severus revealed everything he knew about Lord Voldemort.

They must have talked for hours, houseelves had come in and left food and gone. Lallie had drifted into an uneasy sleep but Severus just kept on talking. He was surprised at how much they didn't know, at how much was relevant. From the way they recruited to training and actions on raids. Dumbledore nodded and asked questions when he needed clarification all the time his eyes were gentle as if understanding Severus pain at turning from everything he knew.

As if he shouldn't feel guilty for having twinges of regret when he said the names of his friends and mentors as he exposed them as Death Eaters.

After coming to a close he took deep breaths to steady himself. While Severus hadn't gone into details of his actions he hadn't skimmed over them either. "I killed the McKinnion's" he had said midway through the speech, however he didn't pause for a response, he was not surrendering, not yet.

When he finished he looked up expecting to be dragged to Azkaban.

"We will get you to a safe house," Dumbledore said, "I'm sure Lallie won't let you go alone."

He paused confused looking at Dumbledore. The old man looked resigned. Was one life saved worth everything Severus had taken? His stomach was fluttering with apprehension. Hiding? It was simple and safe. It was cowardly and easy, it was everything he had done until now.

"I have a better alternative."

The old man looking up smiling as if expecting the question.

"I can spy."