Bring it On

"I'm telling you Prongs! That girl has to have the biggest boobs in all of Hogwarts! I mean-"

James lay on his bed, staring at the canopy, desperately wishing that he had some other form of entertainment than Sirius's loud consistence details about his latest adventure with some Ravenclaw in a broom closet. Hah, he thought, Barely over a week into the school term and Chelsea L' Fay was already history.

Remus was off in the library, doing some research for Flitwick's class. Peter had tagged along in hopes of getting some extra help for his essay. If James had known that Sirius was going to tell him every last tiny fact about his love life, he would have gone as well. Should have gone in fact, while he succeeded in everything he tried, Charms alone seemed to be a small exception. Sure, he got grades that were above average, but he was still way behind the Charms Queen, Flitwick's favourite student -Lily Evans-. And if there was one thing James Potter hated, it was losing.

There I go again, he thought, feeling annoyed and rolling over and grabbing the snitch from his bedside drawer, just to fiddle with it. This had to be the hundredth time today that I've thought about her. He tried to listen to what Sirius was saying in order to distract himself.

"-That Claudia definitely knows how to use her tongue, she even-"

Alright... that he did not want to hear. He then focused on drowning out Sirius's voice again. Ever since he had played that prank on her, he couldn't stop feeling unbearably guilty and uncomfortable at odd moments of the day, especially when he saw her. Well, when that happened she just walked right past him, with her friends often shooting them dirty looks. Remus wasn't much better, but he had immediately apologized to Lily, practically crawling on his hands and knees in fact.

What pride that boy had.

The sad fact was that the method had worked. Instead of getting strangled and being hexed into oblivion like he himself certainly would have, he got a pat on the head and a small smile. Later, unknown to Lily, Remus had also been cornered in the common room by Taylor and Andrea, forced into a dark corner and threatened with a wand at his throat, that if he ever helped hurt Lily again, he would be thrown into the Forbidden Forest and try to live with the centaurs.

Yay, Moony, thought James sourly. She forgives him in a flash, while I'm stuck with the cold shoulder. Who knew she would take it so hard? His mind wandered back to that fateful day, how he saw her shocked face and her dashing out of the classroom. He remembered how her beautiful features contorted and the slight glisten in those vivid green eyes, hinting tears.

Damn it! I shouldn't feel so concerned. I mean it's not like I even care about her or anything! She got what she deserved! He argued to himself, frowning.

He suddenly became aware of the hand Sirius was waving frantically in front of his face while holding the Snitch that he had been catching and releasing in the other.

"Prongs? Prongsie? You're not listening are you?"

"Nope," he replied indifferently.

"You were thinking about a certain red head with a fiery temper who's been ignoring you while secretly plotting to kill you, weren't you?"

"Yep... I mean no! I mean ye- Hey! How did you know?"

"Any idiot can tell, Prongs," said Sirius with a smirk, tossing the Snitch back to him. "You've got that look on your face that says..." he trailed off after seeing James's poisonous glare, quickly recovering and saying, "I mean... um... what about her?"

"Dunno..." he answered, shrugging his shoulders and trying to appear casual. "Just wondering what she did from detention."

"Oh, I heard all about it," said Sirius, sitting on a chair and tilting it on its back legs. "It's not like I could help over hearing, anyway. She was screaming it so loud that half the school could hear her."

"What happened?" he couldn't help asking, feeling concerned.

"She's fuming, that's what! She had to clean and gouge out every single one of Revolski's flasks and cauldrons! Without magic! Can you imagine?"

"Actually, I can. I did do it in the 4th year, after all."

"You sure seem concerned," observed Sirius with a slight frown. "I wouldn't be that relaxed if I were you, Prongs m'boy. Seems that she knows it was you who planned it, so she's personally seeking revenge on you, not the rest of us."

"Please. I am James Potter, Evans can't do anything to harm me, prank me or anything else relating to that matter," he replied, trying to sound bored and get rid of the uncomfortable flutter when he thought about her cleaning all of Revolski's junk without magic because of his futile attempt to get her. "Besides, she won't want to do anything that'll risk her Head Girl badge."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," said Sirius to the ceiling. "You don't know Evans. When something makes her angry, she doesn't care about anything else. I found out about this when I went out with her, (here James managed to conceal a scowl.) and that she's very determined. And when she's determined, she can and will do anything."

"Whatever," snorted James, catching the Snitch. "It won't matter. She's just a girl. What can girls do?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't make comments like that in front of her or her friends either."

"May I ask why?"

"Let's just say that Amos Diggory almost became the Giant Squid's lunch."

"Padfoot, stop sounding so... not you," snickered James, throwing the Snitch to him. "Believe me. I'm not going to be taken revenge on by a bunch of girls."

"If you say so, but just remember. I told you so!"

"What was that for?"

"When they actually do do something, I want to make sure that you remember, how I, Sirius the Great, was as always, right."

"Yeah, right."

"Exactly!" Then his eyes lit up. "Oh! Did I tell you about Samantha? She has to have the fullest lips in the entire school! When she-"

"That's more like it," muttered James, once again tuning out Sirius's voice and forcing himself to stop thinking about the object of his affection.

......

(Meanwhile, in a certain girl's dorm...)

"Finally!" exclaimed Lily in relief, opening the window to let the owl in, "I thought that these would never arrive!"

"Hey, I think that we're lucky my house elf could even find these," said Andrea, grabbing the package from her peacock owl and bouncing on her bed, " I am, after all, the mistress when it comes to hiding stuff!"

"Whatever," said Taylor, rolling her eyes and grinning, "C'mon! It's been over a week since you told us about these! Let me see!"

"Alright," announced Andrea with flourish, sitting cross-legged on the bed, "Girls... Feast your eyes on James Potter's biggest mistake! Bringing someone like me when I was his girlfriend to meet his parents!"

"Oh my Lord..." gasped Lily, her eyes widening as they took in the sight before them, "Oh. My. Lord."

"Oh my Lord..." Taylor agreed.

Andrea on the other hand, snickered. "I almost forgot about these. I was planning on black mailing him one day."

Lily shuffled through the goods, smiling to herself before turning to her partners-in-crime, "Let's go over the plan once more... shall we?"

On that night, gales and gales of laughter could be heard from one of the seventh year girl's dormitories.

......

"Be quiet!" hissed Lily as they tiptoed across the empty common room. She jumped slightly as the dying embers of the fire crackled. It figured, at one o'clock in the morning, everything seemed scary.

"What's the point of this war paint?" grumbled Andrea, touching her face and grimacing when some green paint came off.

"Muggle tradition," she whispered, "Now hush!"

"I've read about it, and this is used when primitive enemies attack each other in the forest," argued Taylor, "Not when a bunch of girls are sneaking into a boy's dorm."

"Believe me, Tay," muttered Andrea; climbing up the stairs, "a forest will look much better compared to their dorm. I mean, look at Potter and Black! They are total slobs."

"Oh, like you're so neat yourself? Who was the one who dumped all the stuff in her entire trunk onto my bed?"

"Shh!" shushed Lily, "We're nearly there."

The three silent figures clad in various sorts of night wear made their way up the remainder of the stairs in peace. With Lily in the lead, they crept into their target's dorm. Taylor guarded the entrance, leaving him to Lily and Andrea's mercy. It was just like Andrea had said, school robes and boxers were scattered everywhere, hanging over lampshades, tables, chairs. Dungbombs and various other pranks were thrown around carelessly, making the girls take great care not to step on them lest they should set them off.

"Alright," she whispered, wrinkling her nose and kicking aside some underwear, "Find his bed."

Andrea nodded and the flitted around, examining the four snoring (loudly I might add.) boys.

"This one!" called Andrea quietly, gesturing to the one next to the window. Lily padded over softly to her friend.

"Look!" squealed Andrea happily, in a voice that would be far from soft just as Lily approached, holding up something on her hand. "More stuff to blackmail him with!"

"Shh!" hissed Lily, clamping her hand over her mouth, Andrea nodded but cheerfully stuffed a pair of boxers with moving teddy bears and hearts into the small bag that she was carrying.

James turned over, grunting slightly at Andrea's outburst. They stared at him, Andrea dived under the bed immediately, but Lily froze, too scared to move. He shifted again, and thrust him arm out at Lily. Being the natural Quidditch player he was, he managed to grab Lily's forearm before she could dodge even though he was still asleep. She turned pale, afraid that if she so much as twitched, he would wake up and jinx her into next week.

She used her foot and kicked Andrea, who came crawling out from under the bed. Gesturing and pointing at James who now lay on his side and had both hands clutching Lily's arm possessively, muttering something about 'Mr. Schnuggles'. She ignored her, but looked extremely disgusted as she took the sock off her head and brushed the great clumps of dust off her bathrobe. After receiving another kick in the shins, Andrea nodded, lifted a hard cover book from the bedside table and crashed it onto James's head before Lily could stop her, rendering him unconscious. Lily winced, it reminded her of the crash when a fast moving train hit another train, echoing throughout the dorm.

"Huh?" mumbled Remus sleepily from the bed beside him, awoken by the sound of the noise. Lily frantically cast Sleeping Charms on him before turning to glare accusingly at Andrea.

"I couldn't resist," she mumbled sheepishly, but not looking too regretful. Lily let it go, not feeling too concerned for James's well being anyway.

"Honestly," she said, shaking her head when she saw that Sirius and Peter were still sleeping, their mouths wide open and sounding like an open drain. She cast the same charm on them, just in case, by some miracle, they should wake up.

Finally, she turned to their primary victim's sleeping form, the dim light from their wands showed the evil grin she had on her face as she examined him.

"Let's start with his clothes, shall we?" she whispered menacingly, flicking her wand and suspending his blanket in mid-air.

***

Half an hour later, the three figures could be seen creeping into the Great Hall, their wands raised and a rather small shape suspended above them. They floated him right over the four house tables, before returning the victim and his bed back to normal size. They put their wands down and stared at their handiwork, Andrea doubling over with laughter.

"Good job, girls," said Lily, patting Taylor on the back. "Part one of the operation is complete. Time for Part Two. The goods please, Agent A."

"Of course, Agent L," replied Andrea, digging into her bag and producing the package that they had received earlier that night.

"You have a question, Agent T?" asked Lily when Taylor raised her hand in the air.

"Yeah. Why are we not calling each other by our normal names?" she asked, giggling slightly.

"I dunno," Lily answered, shrugging her shoulders, "Doesn't it seem cooler to call each other by code names? Like real spies!"

"Spice?"

"No! Not flavoring! You know... like those women who go around it tight jumpsuits and pretending that they belong when actually their working for the enemy?"

"Oo- kay..." said Taylor uncertainly, looking at Andrea who looked just as confused.

"Fine," huffed Lily, seeing her obvious lack of enthusiasm, then she brightened up again, "I know! We can have more mysterious names! You can be Pineapple One! And you'll be Pineapple Two!"

"Erm... actually, Agent T sounds good, thanks anyway..."

"Alright, enough discussing," cut in Andrea before Lily could think of anymore weird ideas, "Part 3 of Get Revenge On The Bloody Idiot James Potter By Embarrassing Him In Front Of The Whole School will commence! Also known as Project GROTBIJPBEHIFOTWS!"

"Um... Andy - I mean, Agent A?" said Lily, "Why don't we think of a better name for this? Preferably one that we can pronounce without choking."

"Hmm... good idea, how about 'The Idiot Has-"

At last, Taylor's patience ran out, she whacked both of them on the head and dragged them towards the center of the hall, "No more chat! Girls, we've got a long night ahead of us."

***

"Get up!" squealed Lily, shoving both of her friends out of bed, seeming bright and perky despite the fact that they only got back to the Gryffindor Tower at 4 in the morning. "Time to see the fruits of our labor!"

For once, Andrea and Taylor willingly managed to force themselves out of bed and trudge along to the Great Hall. As they walked down the corridors, they saw students gasping and laughing at the photos that they had pasted up, multiplied and enlarged the night before.

A bunch of girls were squealing over a photo of a fat baby James bawling his eyes out.

A photo of him when he was seven, crying because he had just wet his bed.

Another of when he was ten, wearing his mother's heels, her best dress robes, her hat with a stuffed vulture and mascara and lipstick smeared all over his face.

More recent pictures came to view, for example, James yelling as he hung awkwardly by one foot on a large tree right next to a bee hive.

Him sniffling over a sappy romance novel, his picture-self could clearly be seen rubbing his eyes.

Him sleeping while clutching a rather worn and tattered teddy bear tightly, which Lily now guessed to be Mr. Schnuggles.

And one that made the girls coo over the most, many trying to copy it onto their own books or pieces of parchment, was James Potter in a bathtub wearing a rather flowery looking showering cap, playing with a bunch of yellow duckies and a toy ship, with lot of bubbles floating around him. He laughed happily as a one of the rubber ducks squirted soapy water at him.

"I'm glad my family doesn't give a damn about me," commented Andrea when she finally stopped laughing and caught enough breath to speak. "Do you know that they were actually proud of those? I mean, they were like, 'C'mon dear, let me show you that darling picture of Jamesie poo when he was seven!'"

"I don't know how you managed to get away with copying them off the albums," sighed Lily wonderingly, bursting out into giggles when she passed several boys staring at a small James running away and howling from a beetle.

"I have my ways," she said with a satisfied smile. Then, she glanced up when they entered the hall. "Look up, look down, look look around!" she laughed waving her finger and letting it point up to the bed hovering above the house tables.

Lily and Taylor joined the crowd in their laughter, but Andrea leapt up onto the Gryffindor table. She pointed to her own throat and whispered 'Sonorus'.

"Laydiiiieeeesss and Germs!" she yelled, her voice booming out throughout the hall like a cheesy commentator, but she paused to smile flirtatiously at the boys who let out wolf whistles, "If you would be so kind to turn your attention to ten feet above the ground, smack in the middle of this hall, you will have the opportunity to see the one... the only... JAAAAMMESS POTTER!"

As if they were reading each other's minds, Lily lowered him slightly to ensure that their audience had a clear view of him. Not that they hadn't already noticed him as the there were large sparkling red and gold words floating around the bed in Lily's cursive hand writing the went "Here lies our ickle Jamesie Wamesie, awww... isn't he cute?"

Most likely due to the roar of snickering, howling and chuckling of the crowd, James finally arose from his state of unconsciousness with difficulty, probably because of the fact that Andrea had knocked him out with his extremely thick Potions book the night before. He opened his eyes blearily, gingerly touching the lump on his head where the blow had landed. It took him a while to gain his senses, after all, who wouldn't be slightly surprised to find themselves suspended on their beds in mid-air, floating above a large crowd of students who were howling with laughter?

"Holy crap!" he yelled when he realized that he wasn't dreaming.

He struggled to get up, instead ending up slipping and clutching one of his bed poles to hang on. The noise of the audience rose when they saw what he was wearing.

Instead of the boxers that he had fallen asleep in, he had a large white diaper on, the cloth kind that came in all sizes, held up by a big pin with a blue bunny on it. He also wore a rather small pink shirt that toddlers usually had, on it were the words, "I'm my mommy's Pride and Joy.", with a matching lurid pink bonnet and large ribbon on his head. In one hand, the girls had glued a huge rattle, which chose at that precise moment to yell out, "Mummy! Baby had a little accident!"

Lily, like most of the others, rested her head on the table and pounded her fist on it, nearly crying with laughter. Taylor wasn't much better, though her knees were weak and her stomach ached, she still found the strength to shoot up fireworks around him.

Andrea on the other hand, grabbed her instant camera and began to snap pictures, either to sell to his rabid fans or to blackmail him with.

Typical.

A few girls who were very loyal to James tried to slowly float him to the ground. Fortunately for him, Sirius, Remus and Peter burst into the Great Hall, their clothes rumpled and hair in a mess, obviously, they had run towards the source of commotion the moment they had discovered James missing. After several long moments of gawking and their jaws scraping the ground, they got over their astonishment and helped James to the ground, sending his bed floating back to the dormitory.

"Good lord... Prongs..." That was all Sirius uttered before he collapsed on the ground and joined Peter in rolling around with laughter.

"Don't - say - a - word," hissed James poisonously, wrapping a blanket around his form, not realizing that the girls had somewhat changed it's appearance as well, from it's original deep red colour to a childish baby blue with lot's of dancing red hearts as a pattern.

"Nice diaper," commented Remus, his face twitching uncontrollably while unsuccessfully trying to hide his smile.

"I can see that you're going to laugh," snarled James, seeing him looking like he was going to burst, "so laugh already!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" howled Remus, turning around and hammering his fist against the wall.

James glared at him before glancing behind him and seeing a certain red head smirking at him and waving her wand triumphantly, he then saw a larger than life image of himself still hanging in that embarrassing situation floating across the ceiling. Beneath it were the words in the same cursive handwriting just below the original words, "Courtesy of the flower and her girls.".

***

"This - is - a - serious - situation!" growled James through gritted teeth at his audience who currently rolling on the beds, clutching their stomachs from laughter. "Don't you people get it?! They've forever damaged the Marauder image! WE'VE BEEN PRANKED! EMBARRASSED FOR THE FIRST TIME!"

"Correction, Prongs," squeaked Peter, trying to catch his breath, "You've been pranked."

He had stomped up to the dormitory (on his way seething as he saw the pictures.), changed into his regular school robes and burned the blanket. Now, he was trying to rally up his fellow Marauders into getting revenge on Evans and her friends, sadly, they didn't seem too interested.

"W-why d-didn't you ... you ever show us those... those pictures, Prongs?" laughed Remus, getting up and leaning against the desk for support.

"I told you so! I told you so! Didn't I? Didn't I Jamesie-Wamesie?" chortled Sirius, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Stop laughing, you lot!" he snapped, his face still a brilliant shade of red from embarrassment. He pulled three of them out the door by the collar of their robes. "You're going to help me tear down those pictures! And I'll make those girls pay! They'll regret the day they crossed James Potter!" he swore angrily.

***

"Awww... having a little trouble iddle Jamesie poo?" asked a very familiar, falsely sweet voice.

"Evans," snarled James, stopping trying to rip off his baby photo and turning to face her. She was carrying another stack of photos in her hands, with Andrea and Taylor behind her, "You have a lot of nerve! What the hell... I mean... get this - how- what? Crap!"

"Awww... is ickle Jamie James having trouble speaking? Seems like me when you slipped that Babbling Bile into my juice doesn't it?" cooed Lily, nudging him aside and charming several more pictures that Andrea had taken that morning onto the notice board.

"Evans," greeted Sirius, in a tone far different from James, seeming admiring and cautious at the same time, while trying to tear off a photo of James hugging and drooling over a cuddly bunny, "I'm surprised that you're not seeing Dumbledore."

"Should I, Black? There's no evidence saying that I did it," she replied evenly, ignoring James who was still spluttering from anger, apparently trying to control himself. "And if you must know, we charmed those so no one above the age of seventeen can see them, meaning that to the teachers and such, these merely look like harmless notices."

"Oh yeah?" challenged Peter shrilly, "Prove it."

At that perfect moment, Professor McGonagall walked, turning around and glancing at Sirius, who had one foot on the wall, trying to rip the picture, "5 points from Gryffindor, Black," she snapped, "For trying to tear off the Hogsmeade notice."

"Told you so, said Andrea triumphantly, the second she was ear shot. "And it's useless, Black. You can't tear those out."

"What do you mean?" he grunted, still trying to use his body weight to pry the stubborn piece of paper off.

"She's right, Padfoot," agreed Remus, who was examining the edges, "Looks like a slightly altered Permanent Sticking Charm to me."

"That's right," chipped in Taylor smugly, "Those'll only come off when we want them to. No one can force us."

"You girls," he spat out that word like it was dirty, "have some nerve. You ought to be begging for my pardon and becoming my personal slaves if you had any brains! Take these off and start apologizing before I decide to make you sorry!"

Lily simply raised an eyebrow at him before getting both of them to help her stick up more pictures faster.

"I mean it, Evans!" he whispered dangerously, bearing down on them. His arms were shaking from anger, surprising Lily, who didn't know that he would take it so badly. She guessed that it must've been a huge blow to his pride to be a victim of a prank that actually succeeded. "Get on your knees and beg for my pardon!"

"Not a chance, Potter," she said coldly, stopping her work to turn around and glare at him, "There is no way I'm ever apologizing to an idiot like you! And they'll stay right on those boards until you come apologizing to me! Being embarrassed will do you some good you... you arrogant prat! 'Cause now you know how you're victims feel every time you pull those stupid pranks!"

"I'm telling you TO TAKE THESE OFF!" he roared, obviously not used to people not listening to him. She flinched inwardly at his harsh tone, but remained cool on the outside. Students were pausing to turn and stare. After all, a good conflict between was always interesting to watch.

"And I'm telling you no," she repeated, letting a hard edge creep into her voice and forcing herself not to back away.

"You have no idea what a gigantic mistake you've made, Evans," he growled threateningly, stepping closer. "If I were you, I'd be crawling and sobbing for me not to start a full out prank war with you! You're just a girl, and you definitely don't want to risk this battle, because you can't possibly compete with the Marauders in this field."

"Well, then it's a good thing you're not me," she said disinterestedly before the sheer underestimation of his words registered in her head. She flared up and drew herself to her unimpressive full height of 5'5. "Oh yeah? Well we can beat you bullying toerags any day, at anything and at anytime!"

"Don't make me laugh," he countered, matching her glare. "You can't even match our skills in this!"

"Lily, I think that you'd better just take the pictures off," suggested Remus wearily, also worried for Lily's safety.

"No!" she replied determinedly, refusing to glance at him. Already, Taylor and Andrea had drawn out their wands, preparing themselves to duel.

"You will pay for humiliating me, Evans!" he shouted. "Nobody has ever humiliated me before!"

"Well, there's a first time for everything," she replied sweetly, turning her back to him like she was going to leave, "I've told you before, Potter. You are not the King of Hogwarts. You're just an imbecile whose ego is the size of England!"

Apparently, she had pushed her luck too far; he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. Taylor and Andrea were held back by the other three, but Sirius asked quietly, "James, you're not going to hit her, are you? We don't hit girls."

James ignored him, so Lily closed her eyes and cringed, preparing to take the blow, but none came.

"Nobody ever pranks the Marauders, Evans," he snarled, looking so angry that even Lily felt scared for a moment, "I just might forgive you if you grovel. Now. If not... this - means -war!"

Lily narrowed her eyes dangerously, about half the school was now gathered and silently watching the drama before them. She'd rather die than beg pardon, let alone grovel to that jerk! She used all her strength and shoved him out her way. She simply looked at him coolly and said, very coldly, "Bring it on."

She then stalked off, leaving a silenced awe in and a James Potter who was literally quivering with rage in her wake.

The decisions were made in both their minds. May the battle begin.

Review Replies:

KittyKate2356: Thank you! Yeah, I read your fic, and I'm pretty sure I reviewed, d'you know any more good fics on this net? I will, so, SO appreciate it if you do. Oh, and do you know if it's possible for me to re-upload my first and second chapter? Because I've been doing major reconstruction of my fic.

Lunny4urwritings: Ok, sure. Yeah, she was. And, well, James isn't going to be the nicest person in the world in the next few chapters, and there may be bits where you'll fall madly in love with Remus. So, keep in mind that James is a good person, k?

Aryell: Thank you! Well, I belong to another website called fanfiction.net. What they do is they have different sections and a really good search engine. If you want to read only about L/J, you just type their names into the 2 main character boxes, and voila! It's a really good site! You have my story on bookmark? Cool! How d'you do that?

X deadonariival24: Don't worry! I haven't stopped my fanfiction story yet! It's just that I've been supremely busy lately and I've got writer's block! I'll update it as soon as I can!