Last Letter

Hey Gin,

Look, I know this must look kind of weird and if I ever come back I'll look a bit of an idiot for having written stuff like this, but the thing is I'm not too sure I'll come back and, just in case, there are things I'd like to tell you. I mean, in case I die. Right, now this sounds really melodramatic. Never mind. I'm going to try to get rid of Old Voldie right now and we've come up with a really great plan and all (well Hermione has, but you had probably guessed that) so all things considered I think I've got as good a chance to make it in one piece as could be hoped for, but well you know...

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to write you about, I don't give a damn about Voldemort, well, I do, but not nearly as much as I care about you. God, that sounded awful! I don't mean I'm comparing you with Voldemort or anything, you know how I'm not very good with words... ok, make that I'm completely hopeless with words and now stop laughing! Or rather don't, because I really love it when you laugh, you look so bright and strong and even a little crazy and you're so gorgeous and wonderful that just for ten minutes spent with you laughing, it's all worth it and never mind if I don't come back because at least I've been happy and incredibly lucky to spend some time with an amazing girl like you and that's more than a lot of people can say.

I really hope you'll get to be happy and laugh an awful lot in the future. That's mostly what keeps me going, because sometimes this whole hero thing seems so hopeless I think I should just stop trying, but then I think if there's just one chance I succeed and then Riddle can never hurt you again and we can be happy at last, then it's all worth it, right? And if we can't be happy together, well I hope that at least you will be happy.

And I really mean it you know; I'm not writing this to make you sad or guilty or whatever. I really hope if I'm gone that you'll meet someone who can make you happy, as long as it's not an idiot like Dean. All right, forget that. I didn't really mean that. It's just that I'm not dead yet, so I'm not too keen on imagining you with anybody else right now, but honest I hope you'll be happy, even if it's with Dean or that stupid Michael Corner. God, even Draco Malfoy provided he really makes you happy. Well, perhaps not Malfoy, but you wouldn't fall for him, right?

Ok, now I'm sure this letter is going to stay in the annals as evidence that the Boy Who Eventually Died was completely illiterate and I'm sorry about that and about writing this letter on the backs of Which Broomstick? ads because that's all the parchment I could find. I would have liked to write something really beautiful, tell you all you mean to me and also tell you how I'm sorry for being such a complete jerk to you after Dumbledore's funeral. You deserved better than that and you'd deserve a better letter than this, but you know I'm more of a kill-a-basilisk-with-a-big-sword kind of guy, I'm not too good at talking with girls (all right, that was the understatement of the century, now I know you must be laughing like mad, you heartless wench!).

So I guess what I'd like to say is I love you, I really do, and I hope you'll be happy,

xxxx

Harry