Hairshirt

Percy sneezed suddenly, a strand of her hair tickling his nose. He reached over gently - very gently so not to wake her - and smoothed the strand of hair back, off of his face.

Penelope's hair...he loved Penelope's hair from the very beginning. He was assigned a seat next to her in Defense Against the Dark Arts back in their first year at Hogwarts. And he was enthralled by her hair. He had wanted to touch it to see if it felt as whisper- silken-soft as it looked...dark, shining, curling. And then, one day, he did - just reached out and touched one of the curls, running it through his fingers when he thought she wasn't paying attention. She had jumped at the touch, turned her head...and softened when she saw that it was Percy, smiled sweetly at him.

All of the other boys had noticed; because they were first year students and young enough that girls were considered 'icky', he'd spent the rest of the year attempting to convince the others that he did not like Penelope Clearwater.

Ironically, he'd been trying to convince himself of the opposite ever since.

Percy frowned suddenly, upset at the direction his thoughts were turning. He loved Penny, he did - she was lovely, she was wonderful. She was his girlfriend, who was currently asleep in his lap, in his arms. She was his perfectly proper girlfriend. Perhaps they would grow older and get married and have children, lovely children with red curly hair, and...

He took a deep breath, aware that he had started shivering, could feel his heart beating faster in his chest. He was afraid, stricken with a cold nameless fear.

Penelope sighed in her sleep, and Percy froze, afraid that she had awakened. But her breathing was steady and her eyes were closed, and after a moment, Percy relaxed.

He had to stop thinking about things like that. About Penny, about...about loving her but not being in love with her, no matter how much he desperately tried to be. It was thoughts like that that made him afraid...afraid that that would never change. Or was he afraid that that would change?

Someone stepped into the dark Gryffindor common room, closing the door behind them. Percy jumped at the sudden noise and turned to see who was there.

The Gryffindor Quidditch Captain grinned, then pressed his finger against his lips, motioning to Percy to stay quiet.

Oliver Wood. Percy felt himself blushing, an odd sudden warmth spreading across his face, through his body. Oliver Wood.

Oliver took a step closer to the chair where Percy and Penelope were sitting. He grinned again, winking at Percy. "Goodnight." He whispered, in almost inaudible tones.

"Goodnight." Percy returned, breathlessly, and he smiled up at Oliver, lost in eye-contact with Oliver for a moment, an eternity... and then he looked away. He just looked away...he always just looked away.

Percy sat there, listening to the sound of Oliver's footsteps fading away, trying not to think about...what he was thinking about. He should wake up Penelope, he thought. He should wake her and send her back to her own room and go to his own bed. To his own bed in the dormitory he shared with Oliver...with Oliver...be with Oliver...

He should have done something. But he didn't have the courage. He knew that it wasn't right...none of it was right...but he just sat there, with Penelope, sat awake all night.