Rating:
R
House:
Astronomy Tower
Characters:
Severus Snape
Genres:
Romance General
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 11/20/2004
Updated: 02/17/2005
Words: 81,021
Chapters: 12
Hits: 3,909

The Magic of Old

EllieK

Story Summary:
Severus Snape met his match when he was a student only to lose her shortly before graduation. When she returns after over a decade, things change. This story goes back and forth between present day and the past when Snape and the Marauders where in school.

Chapter 04

Chapter Summary:
The first half of this chapter is in the present and the second is in the past. Sweet and sour scenes will unfold.
Posted:
12/07/2004
Hits:
340


Chapter 4: Written in My Heart

I did not speak to Severus outside my lessons for weeks and did everything I could to avoid him. I never went to meals in the Great Hall. I had practically stopped eating all together. All the optimism I felt had left me, with the familiar hollowness to which I had grown accustomed. The big red book had been showing me things. I was beginning to understand that it was trying to tell me something. I was so spell-bound with that book that I spent nearly every minute of every day and night watching it, reducing sleep to about an hour or so each day.

I hadn’t even noticed that spring was in full bloom. It was about seven on, an early April evening, when I got a knock on my door. The books images ceased and I snapped out of my trance. I knew who was at the door, so I stood for a moment before opening it.

“You should be in your lesson now. Why did you not come?” Snape asked.

“I’m busy reading something important. I’ll make up the lesson another time,” I replied, eager to return to my book.

“Why are you wasting away in this room? You have obligations to fulfill, Miss Kinsington!”

You're not the boss of me, you overgrown bat!

I got in his face, my eyes wild and crazed, and pointed my finger at him. “You have no say in my life!” I sounded like a mad scientist on the verge of a breakthrough! “Leave me be! I am busy!”

He looked at me like I was crazy and remarked, “You’ve lost your mind, woman!” He stepped back a little. “Get out of your rooms and come with me. You need to see Madam Pomfrey.”

I let out a loud, mad giggle and said, “Step away from the door.” I was stepping closer to him. “I AM BUSY! VERY, VERY BUSY!” I roared to the air above.

“You are mad, Kinsington, really mad!” He apprehensively reached for my arm, like he was trying to catch a venomous snake. “Just take it easy…come on out,” he encouraged very cautiously.

I was beyond rational thought as I drew my arm out of his way, before he could grab me. “Do you want know what makes me mad, Severus? DO YOU?” I taunted, “I’LL NEVER TELL YOU! I’LL NEVER TELL YOU!”

I had really lost it and was feeling faint. When he refused to follow my orders, I went storming out of my rooms down the corridor. I whipped around at him and continued yelling, “I looked everywhere, you know! All the time, it was right here!”

I started to lose my balance and swayed where I stood. “You weren’t there…” I fell backward and all went black.

When I came to, he was walking quickly with me in his arms. “Shh. It’s all right now,” he soothed. I hugged my arms tightly around his neck, pressed my face into his neck, and blacked out again.

I knew I was in the hospital wing, but I did not open my eyes. My eyelids were too heavy. I heard them speak, but it was like a dream.

“She’ll recover I think, Headmaster, but she is in a very decrepit state. She is very dehydrated and exhausted. One would think she hadn’t eaten or had a drink in weeks.” Madam Pomfrey sounded very concerned as she spoke to Dumbledore, “If this continues, she will very certainly…well I dare not speak of it.”

“Thank you, Poppy. I understand and know you will take excellent care of her. You found her like this, Severus?” asked Dumbledore.

“She was still conscious when I found her, but she was behaving rather irrationally,” informed Severus.

“Do you know anything about this, Severus? Has she told you anything?” asked Dumbledore.

“No,” Snape said calmly, “She hasn’t spoken a word to me for six weeks. She refuses to leave her rooms.”

“I see.” After a long pause, Dumbledore spoke, “There was a time when the two of you were very good friends. She doesn’t have anyone, you know; not any family, all her school friends long since gone. Perhaps you could…listen to her now. I am afraid that we will lose Miss Kinsington again, this time forever. I would like you to stay with her while I have a word with Poppy in my office. Would you do that for me Severus?”

“Yes, Headmaster, I will wait with her.”

“Very good, Severus, very good…Poppy?” I heard their footsteps get softer as they left.

I felt him sit beside me on the bed and his hand brushed my forehead. “Are you awake?” Snape whispered softly. It was difficult but I opened my eyes. “You’ve given everyone quite a fright.”

I reached up and held his hand, that was still stroking my forehead, and he did not resist. “I have so many secrets,” I whispered sadly, “How can I tell you? Where do I begin?”

“Wherever you’d like. You do not have to tell me now, you really should rest.”

“I haven’t rested in nearly fifteen years. I am so tired of running. Why can’t it just stop?” I sighed.

“Ellie,” he began very seriously, looking deep into my eyes, “they can’t hurt you anymore. Whatever they did to you, you can tell me. You must trust me on this.”

“You don’t know me anymore. I’m not the same as I was, and I can never be her again. I can’t even see her anymore,” I sobbed.

Snape sighed heavily and insisted, “You need to rest. I won’t leave you until you are sleeping, I promise.”

“Severus, I had no other choice. I had to do it.” I wanted to explain, but I could hardly keep my eyes open.

“Please, Ellie, stop talking. You are not well, so you must try to sleep now.”

“I’ll tell you everything. But you must swear to me that you will never speak of it to anyone,” I begged.

“All right, I’ll listen,” he snapped impatiently, “but now you have to sleep.”

I closed my eyes as tears ran slowly down my face. I couldn’t keep them open any longer. “Goodnight, Severus, I’ll tell you everything.” With that, I was asleep. They must have given me something. That night, I had no dreams at all.

***

The morning came and when I woke up, he was there. He helped me to sit and handed me a glass of water. My head was much clearer now. I realized what a show I had put on last night. “What time is it?”

“Early, it will be seven soon,” Snape informed.

“I haven’t slept that long in ages. Could you help me back to my room?”

“I am not sure that would be wise. Madam Pomfrey is quite insistent that you stay here at least another day.”

“I really hate hospitals, Severus. I have spent a good deal of time in them. I would be much more comfortable somewhere else,” I emphatically implored.

“Let me speak with her first. Don’t move from that bed until I return,” he said firmly.

“All right, but the minute you get back, I am out of here.”

“We’ll see.” He was gone for half an hour. He reentered the room with Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore.

“I must insist that she not be moved, Albus. She needs to be watched in her condition,” Poppy commanded.

“I don’t want to be here,” I whined impatiently. “I would be much more comfortable in my rooms, Madam Pomfrey.”

“I would prefer you not to go back to your rooms for a while, Ellie,” the Headmaster said. “You seem to have spent plenty of time there by yourself over the last several weeks. You really shouldn’t be alone right now because you are very fragile my dear. I hate to sound fatherly, but I agree with Poppy.”

I didn’t mind him being fatherly because I knew he truly cared for me. However, I would not stay here.

“Please, Professor, I don’t have to go back to my rooms, but I will be worse here, believe me. I will sit in the Great Hall all day if need be!” I pleaded with him.

He looked at Severus and then said, “If you had someone to look after you, I would most certainly agree.”

“Headmaster, if I might have a word with you in private,” requested Snape.

“Of course, Professor Snape. Excuse us for a moment ladies.”

They went behind a screen, at the other end of the large room, and came back a few minutes later.

“Poppy, I think it will be alright if we release Miss Kinsington to the capable hands of our Potions Master. He and I have an arrangement which I find acceptable. That is of course, if Ellie will agree to mind his instructions?” said Dumbledore looking at me.

“As long as I don’t have to stay here, I will do anything that he says,” I answered.

“Right then. Severus, I want you to keep me posted. Take care, Ellie. I do so enjoy it when you are up and about.” He smiled very warmly and then he left with a very agitated Madam Pomfrey.

“What exactly is this arrangement? I’m not going to have to grade all your papers for the rest of the term, am I?” I asked Severus.

He was actually considering it. “We’ll see about that. For now, let us focus on getting you out of here.”

“Thank gods! I can’t stand it another minute. Will you help me stand?” I sat on the edge of the bed. He and I grabbed arms, and he slowly lifted me to my feet. “That’s no good. Why don’t you use Mobilicorpus? I’ll never make it this way?”

“I have a better idea.” He bent down and gathered my legs, then he picked me up, cradle like in his arms.

“You can’t carry me all the way to the dungeons like this! You’ll hurt yourself!” I protested.

Snape grumbled and narrowed his eyes. “I am not saying this to anger you, but you have lost a significant amount of weight this term. Therefore, you weigh little more than one of my first year students. I will not harm myself, Kinsington, just hold on and don’t struggle.” We were already far down the hall by now, so I did as he said.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him carry me.

“What are you doing in the hall? You should be in class! Ten points from Hufflepuff, Mr. Davies!” he fired at a boy as we passed him.

After a long, brisk walk we had arrive at his office. He carried me to his usual armchair by the fire and placed me in it. “Accio,” he commanded, which sent a large green blanket flying through the air. He covered me with it and then moved the leather ottoman, lifted my feet onto it, and covered them with the blanket. “Is this acceptable?”

"Wonderful."

“Drink this,” he insisted, handing me a teacup, but it wasn’t tea.

I didn’t know what it was. I tilted my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “It is a potion to help you regain your strength. Dumbledore asked me to make sure that you drink it several times a day. Don’t be silly, Kinsington, drink it!” he snapped impatiently.

“Is there anything foul in this?” I had to ask, “You know, any dried, powdered, or pickled animal parts?”

“Unfortunately no. It is composed primarily of fruits and herbs. You may add honey to it if you see fit.”

He was being very cross with me, but I realized he probably never went to sleep last night. I sipped it and thankfully it wasn’t bad. It tasted of cinnamon and mint mostly. “I can give you a sleeping draft if you’d like.” He eyed me suspiciously.

“No, I think I can manage. Don’t you have a class to teach?”

“Yes. I shall be next door in my classroom if you need me. I will be stopping in frequently during class to make sure you are behaving yourself. There are some sandwiches next to you on this table. I am off now.”

When he left, I ate one of the sandwiches as I sipped my potion. How interesting it was that I was stuck in the dungeons with Snape, unable to do a thing about it. I couldn’t have walked out of there on my own if the room were on fire. I fell asleep and when I woke up he had returned.

“Feeling better?” Snape hissed, “I see you have eaten something.”

“I am feeling better, but I could seriously do with a bath and a change of clothes. I feel nasty,” I cringed.

“Hm. Do you think you could manage it? I wouldn’t want you to drown on my watch?” His sarcasm had returned suddenly.

“I’ll have a go at it. I think it would be worth the risk. I am beginning to stink.”

“How lovely. Here, let me help you.” He helped me to stand and walked me into his private rooms that connected to his office.

“I’ve never been in here before. It is rather nice, Severus. You seem to have good taste.” I marveled over how nice and cozy it looked; very neatly kept.

“My taste is questionable at best.” I was sure he was referring to me. “I will draw you a bath, but then you are on your own. I do not think it would be suitable for me to…well you know what I mean!”

Is he blushing?

I couldn’t help but tease, “Aren’t you going to join me? Dumbledore did say for you to keep a close watch on me.” I tried very hard not to laugh or smile.

He looked at me like I had just called him a Gryffindor! “You find yourself rather amusing, don’t you? It is ready,” he snapped as he turned off the taps. “A change of attire has been brought from your rooms by Professor McGonagall. Don’t dawdle about in there. Get in, get out. If you encounter any problems, scream.” He was being short.

“No problem, I will be just a minute. Go on now, no peeking,” I teased.

He curled his lip at me and left me to it.

The water was warm and soothing, but I did as I had promised and did not soak for long, even though I could have. I carefully got out and dried off and changed into my fresh clothes. Exhaustion began to take over. That bath took a lot of effort.

***

I was now having trouble with my balance again as I walked toward the office doors. I had to stop and grabbed on to the post of his bed to for support. “Severus,” I called out.

He came bursting through the doors, as if expecting to find me bleeding to death.

“I’m all right, don’t look so worried. I just can’t walk any further alone.”

He seemed relieved. “Perhaps this is far enough for now. Get in the bed and lie down for a while.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to invade your personal space. Just help me back out to the chair. I was comfortable there,” I requested.

“You are being ridiculous, Kinsington! You invaded my personal space long ago. Now do as I say or I will drag you back to see Madam Pomfrey!” he threatened.

“Yes, sir.”

“That is more like it. Up you go.” He helped me climb into his bed. “It is time for another potion. I will be right back.”

Who knew that Snape would have such excellent taste in bed linens?

He came back in watched me finish my cup and then announced, “I am going to the Great Hall for dinner to report to Dumbledore. I expect you to sleep while I am gone. I will not be long.”

I fell asleep in no time. I was having a vivid nightmare that seemed all too real. Suddenly I woke up, screaming thrashing about madly. It was dark and I had no recollection of where I was. I continued to scream.

The Guardians! I’m in my room in the basement and they are coming for me!

“NO! NO!” I screamed. I felt someone on the bed sitting beside me. Someone was grabbing my arms. Sure it was The Guardians, I screamed, “PLEASE DON’T HURT ME. SIR, I PROMISE I WON’T TELL! SIR, PLEASE YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

“Ellie, stop! It’s me, Severus. What are you screaming about? Look…it’s only me.”

I started to snap out of it, realizing it had only been a nightmare. I was breathing as if I couldn’t catch my breath. I was still terrified.

“Ellie, there’s no one here but me.” I sobbed and he pulled me to him my head against his chest. “Shhhh,” he whispered as he stroked my hair. I held him tight. “I’m here, Ellie. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“Severus,” I sobbed, “I am so scared. It all seems so real to me. I thought I was home at The Guardians House, and they were coming for me. They won’t stop coming for me.” I was a mess. “I just can’t seem to run fast enough.”

He kissed me on the forehead and whispered, “But you did run fast enough, you got away.” He kissed my forehead again, this time his lips lingering a little longer than the last. “Would you like me to stay here with you tonight?” he asked quietly, his lips inches from mine.

“Please,” I begged quietly, “I don’t want to be alone. I can’t bear to have that dream again.”

“All right, move over just a little.”

I did and he got into the bed beside me. I moved back into his arms and laid my head on his shoulder. “Is this alright? Can you sleep like this?” He asked and I nodded ‘yes.’

I finally felt safe again. “Yes, I think so. Can you?” I replied and tilted my head to look up at him.

He kissed me softly on the lips as I felt my heart skip a beat. I wished he’d never stop. “I will manage,” he whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

This time, I kissed him; our lips barely parting. He did not pull away from me. He returned my kisses sweetly, softly. He stopped and slid his hand across my cheek. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, and then he lowered his head to rest on mine. He spoke very quietly, “We can talk about this in the morning.”

I drifted off to the most peaceful sleep of my life. This time, I dreamed about the very first time he had kissed me, when I was just a girl…


After Dumbledore’s anniversary dance in my sixth year, Severus and I began to spend even more time together. We had come so close to kissing that night in the rose garden, but had never talked about it. He and I talked about nearly everything else, though. Often we would sneak around the school and its grounds, holding hands, hiding from the other students; particularly my Gryffindor friends and his Slytherin associates.

There had always been a malicious rivalry between our two houses. They simply hated each other! This was blatantly obvious with our separate entourages. Our relationship wasn’t a secret by any means, but we did not flaunt our feelings for each other in public. It was just a lot less dramatic that way.

We wanted to spend more time together, away from the library, where we could talk without too much trouble from prying eyes. Beginning in early November, all the 7th years were studying like mad for their N.E.W.T.s. Everyone knew that Severus and I were very serious students who had classes together, so no one thought twice about our constantly being in the library. It was rather hard to talk there about anything other than our classes, and we were finding it more and more difficult to be alone during the school week.

One night, buried deep in the stacks of books on Ancient Hexes and The Dark Arts, Severus came up with a covert method of communication.

“I have something for you, Kinsington,” Snape said quietly, handing me a box wrapped in slick black paper.

“Are you giving me a present?” I cracked a smile. This was most unexpected. “My birthday isn’t for months.”

“This isn’t a birthday present. Will you open it already?” he snapped impatiently.

“Simmer down, Snape,” I mocked in my best impersonation of him.

I was very curious and tore it open. It was a black leather notebook, very much like the one I had for taking notes in Potions. There was a singular, small capitol ‘E’ branded at the bottom on the spine. I opened it to reveal blank pages. After examination, it appeared quite…ordinary. I looked at him questioningly. “Thanks,” I said graciously.

He gave a devilish grin and asked, “Well what do you think?”

“I think this will come in rather handy in potions,” I replied sensibly. Were all his presents so very dull? The truth of the matter is, he could have wrapped up a rock in a bit of newspaper and I would have been pleased with it.

“Kinsington, you can be very daft for such a clever girl,” he quipped, shaking his head. “Here, take this quill and write something on one of the pages.”

“What do you want me to write?” I asked.

“I want you to write national anthem of Czechoslovakia!” he stated curtly, “It’s no matter what you write! Just put down your name or something.”

“All right!” I took the quill and wrote, ‘Ellie Charlotte Kinsington’, on the first page. After a moment, my name disappeared. “Where did it go?” I asked surprised.

“Charlotte? I never knew your middle name was Charlotte?” he said with a grin.

“Well you never asked, did you?” I replied, being rather short, “Severus, snap out of it and answer my question!”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he handed me a notebook that was identical to mine except, where the ‘E’ had been, there was an ‘S’. He nodded at me to open it. When I did, I saw to my amazement that there, on the first page, exactly in the same place and in my handwriting, was my name. “How did you so that?” I ran my hand across the page and the letters disappeared.

“I enchanted it with a bit of Dark Magic,” he silkily. I looked at him worried. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you. You won’t sprout red horns or anything. It is a way for us to communicate with each other without anyone finding out. If anyone other than you or I picks it up, it will read nonsense.” He was rather pleased with himself.

“Severus, this is ingenious! How did you…I mean, what made you…this is the best present ever!” I was so excited that I was jumping up and down a little.

He rolled his eyes at me. “Kinsington, could you please stop hopping about like a rabbit? People are beginning to stare!”

I put my hand on my chin, staring at him trying to figure something out.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I drawled flirtatiously, “It’s just that, you’re so very clever and handsome. Whatever will I do with you?”

He blushed a little and replied, “You’ll write to me…often.”

“Yes I will. I shall write in it so frequently that you shall be very tired of me in no time at all,” I assured him.

“I doubt that very much.” He was suddenly very serious. “Ellie…,” he began, taking my hands in his, sending a shiver through my back, “you won’t be using this idea to make a journal with anyone else, will you?” He looked a little sad.

“Of course not!” I said reassuringly. “I’m not interested in writing to anyone but you, Severus.” I was the one blushing now. “Come on. We only have a short time before the library closes. We need to finish up.” I released his hands, not wanting to at all.

“Yes, you’re right. We have a lot to go over for tomorrow. When was it again that mortification charms were made illegal?” he asked and then sat back down at our table.

“1427, after they were discovered to cause hysteria by Sir Elwick the-level-headed, during his stay in India on holiday,” I answered. We continued on as if nothing had transpired for the rest of the time in the library. We left upon its closing, and went our separate ways to our dorms.

In bed that night, I decided to give the journal a try. “Are you still awake?” I wrote.

“No,” he wrote.

“Are you writing in your sleep then?”

“Yes.”

“Having a good dream?” I wrote.

“An excellent one,” he replied.

“What is it about?”

“A very, very gorgeous girl.”

I blushed and wrote, “Oh, I see. Tell her I said hello, will you?”

“Hello,” he wrote.

“So, it’s me is it?”

“Always.”

I was so overwhelmed by this that I didn’t write for at least a minute.

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“Always,” I wrote.

“Promise?”

“I’m not going anywhere I promise.”

“If you go, I will follow you,” he replied.

“Promise?” I asked.

“I give you my word. You will never be alone.”

“Good, I hate being alone. I have always been alone.”

“I know,” he replied.

“Severus?”

“Yes?”

“Goodnight,” I wrote.

“Yes it is.”

“I mean I’m going to sleep now,” I replied.

“I know.”

“Enjoy that dream you’re having. I will see you tomorrow,” I wrote.

“Ellie?”

“Yes?”

“I will miss you.”

“I know. Goodnight, Severus.”

“Goodnight.”

I closed the journal and hugged it to my chest. “I am in love with Severus Snape,” I said very softly to myself. I closed my eyes and knew that tonight The Guardians would not bother me. As long as he was with me, they never would again.

***

We wrote back and forth in the journal almost all the time. Finally, we could really talk without anyone bothering us. I had never been so open with anyone and neither had he. I really trusted him. We were talking in the hallway after Charms one day when Sirius, Lupin and James came up behind us.

“Ellie, come on! We’re late for lunch!” yelled Sirius. “Hurry up before Snivellus jinxes us all.”

“Whatever, Black! You wouldn’t know a proper jinx if it bit you on the ass!” I fired at him. I hated it when they called him, ‘Snivellus’.

“Well, why don’t you show me then, Kinsington?” Black said flirtatiously, “I could do with a good ass-biting from a delicious thing like you.” He raised his eyebrows up and down.

Severus was turning red with anger.

“Oh, please,” I scolded, “You are such a git!”

“I know, but that’s why you love me so.” Black held out his arm, in an overly exaggerated way, and bowed deeply. “Shall we, my lady?”

I turned to Severus, knowing full well that he wanted to pull his wand on Black. “I’ll see you later,” I whispered, moving my eyes to the journal and then back to his. He knew what I meant. I walked away from him to join the boys, pushing Black out of my way.

“I love it when you play hard to get!” Sirius called out at me from behind. He then turned to Severus and walked backwards toward us. “She wants me, she just doesn’t know it yet,” he said tauntingly to Severus, and then caught up with us.

***

Later that night, I wrote in my journal but got no response. I thought for sure he was awake. We were both usually up and writing very late into the night.

I wonder if he took Black seriously today? Surely not! He knows better than that!

The next day, in Defense the Dark Arts, he wouldn’t even look at me. He left before I could catch him and He didn’t write in the journal that night either. I was beginning to get very worried that he might never talk to me again. It went on like that the entire week.

One night, in the Gryffindor common room, I overheard a disturbing conversation.

“James, what was that I heard you telling Lupin? Did you do something to Snape the other night?” I asked.

“Look, you know about, Lupin right?” James asked in a whisper.

Lupin told me he was a werewolf a few days after I discovered that I was a Sorceress.

I nodded and James continued, “Well, a few days ago, the one with the full moon, I heard Sirius tell Snape that you wanted to meet him somewhere.”

What!?! Oh no! what did they do?

"Meet him where, James?” I demanded angrily.

“It’s bad, Ellie, really bad.” James looked very guilty. “Black said you wanted to meet him in…the Whomping Willow.”

“Oh, my gods! He didn’t go, did he?” I was panic-stricken!

I know what goes in that tree! Lupin goes there during the full moon to transform into the werewolf! Lupin is out of his mind when he's a werewolf!

“Yes, I am sorry to say that he did. But I found out what Black had planned, and I was able to stop Snape, right before Lupin…attacked. Ellie, I swear I didn’t know until then! Black could have gotten Snape Killed! I hate Severus but I would never wish him dead!”

“I can’t believe this! Why would Sirius do that? Oh, my gods! This explains everything! You three are the most horrible people I have ever met! How could you do this?” I screamed.

“I’m sorry. I had nothing to do with it, I swear!” James insisted.

“I hate you and I will never forgive you!” I ran crying to my room and threw myself on the bed.

He thinks I betrayed him. How could he have listened to Black?

I picked up the journal and scribbled madly, “Severus, please write to me. I have to explain. I only just found out. Potter told me everything. I had nothing to do with it. Severus, please, you have to believe me!” I waited for a long time. There was no response. I cried myself to sleep thinking, “I love you, Severus. I would never betray you. You have to believe me.”

***

I awoke that night with a bang, literally. The dorm shook with a loud explosion.

BANG!!!!

There was screaming and I heard people rushing about out of their beds, and into the common room. I ran to join them. Everyone was in hysterics. The room was full of black smoke and the staircase to the boys’ dorm looked charred. I saw that James and Sirius had small, bloody scrapes all over their faces.

“What’s going on?” I asked them.

Just then, Professor McGonagall came running in through the portrait. “What’s going on here? My gods, who did this?” she directed at the three of us.

“Someone got in our dorm somehow, Professor, while we were all asleep!” informed James.

He was head-boy, so McGonagall took his word for it.

James continued, “I don’t know how they did it but we found this.” He handed her a piece of cloth from a green and silver scarf.

Slytherin colors! Oh no, not this! Severus is extremely adept at making all sorts of potions! He is the only one who could have done it. It was far too powerful an explosion for it to have been anyone else!

“It was Malfoy and Snape, Professor! I saw them running out of the portrait when I heard the explosion,” piped a terrified seventh year.

No! Please don’t let this be happening! He will be expelled! I know he will. Severus is already in loads of trouble from quarreling with James, Lupin and Black all the time! Dumbldore warned all four of them that they would be expelled if they so much as looked at each other funny!

“Potter, Black, and you too Lupin. All of you, to the headmaster’s office…now!” yelled McGonagall. “The rest of you stay here until Mr. Filch has made certain that it’s safe for you to return to your beds. The three of you, out…now!” She led them out and the portrait closed.

This isn't right! What will I do without him? And the others too? They can’t get expelled! They simply can’t! Wait! I know what to do!

I ran from the room and to Dumbledore’s office. I didn’t know the password.

How can I get in?

Just then, the staircase opened and I went in. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I listened with my ear to the door.

“I want whoever is responsible for this to come forward, or I shall have to expel you all,” Dumbledore said very sternly.

“It wasn’t us, it was the Slytherins! They broke in some how! Just ask them!” Sirius shouted.

“Is this true? Mr. Malfoy? Mr. Snape? Did you manage to get in? I believe you, Mr. Snape, know how to make the necessary potion. You are also missing a piece from your scarf,” Dumbledore accused. “I’m afraid you will have to pack your things and leave at once, unless someone starts talking!”

I burst in the door. “I did it! I blew up the dorms!” I shouted running up to Dumbledore.

“WHAT?” yelled everyone in unison, as all six heads whipped to the left at me. They knew I was lying, and they were all flabbergasted, Severus especially.

“What’s this, Miss Kinsington?” began Dumbledore, “You say you are responsible?”

Here goes!

“I am the one who blew up the dorms! None of them had anything to do with it. I was angry at Snape and Malfoy for teasing me all the time, calling me names, and embarrassing me in front of the other students.” I continued to lie, “I was also furious with them,” pointing my finger at James, Lupin and Sirius, “for what they did the other night at the Whomping Willow.”

I took a breath and started again.

"I had enough of it! I brewed the potion and made it look like Snape and Malfoy did it. I took the piece of Snape’s scarf during Defense against the Dark arts the other day when we were practicing dueling. I-I planted them in the dorm after I had set the potion. I knew they would accuse the Slytherins because they are always having a go at each other. I thought it would be better if they all just left. Then I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore!”

They all stared at me in total disbelief. No one said a word. Severus looked very frightened for me and also very shocked at my lies.

“Are you quite sure that’s the way things happened, Ellie?” asked Dumbledore. I could tell he didn’t believe me.

“Yes sir, Professor. That is exactly what happened! I changed my mind as soon as soon as I had done it. I couldn’t let any of them take the blame for something that I had done. I am very sorry, but I had to tell the truth,” I lied. “I did it. None of them had any idea!”

Dumbledore was quiet for a long time as he looked sternly at each of the boys. “Well then, Miss Kinsington, you alone will suffer the consequences.”

“No, Professor, she’s covering for us!” I was dumbfounded when I heard Malfoy speak.

“And us as well, Professor,” spoke Lupin.

I looked at each one of them, whipping my head from side to side.

“Yes, Headmaster, she didn’t do it,” insisted Severus

“We did it!” claimed Black.

“Shut up, the lot of you!” I screamed. “None of you believe me because you are all my friends! I have had the last laugh here! I got you all!” I lied loudly, hoping they would stop and let me take the blame. I made them understand with the look on my face. They all went quiet.

Dumbledore said, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but all of you are dismissed, except you, Miss Kinsington. All of you back to bed. You are all very lucky that she admitted to what she did. There will be no expulsions this night. Go now, all of you. I need to speak with Ellie alone.”

They all hesitated, but filed out the door in a single line. Severus looked at me when he passed. His eyes said it all. He looked as if he might turn around and confess, but I looked him straight in the eyes and pleaded with him to go. He was the last to leave, walking slowly.

“Ellie, you will have to help Mr. Filch repair the damage that has been done. I have a feeling you will be very good at mending the gaps.” I knew that he knew the truth, but he didn’t say it. “Go back to your room and sleep. I no doubt believe you will want to record this in your journal.”

How does he know about that?

“Yes sir, Professor. I am very sorry.”

“Yes, well see to it that you apologize to all involved. They will no doubt like to hear it.”

“Yes sir!” With that, I left.

***

When I got back to the common room they were waiting for me.

“Ellie, are you ok?” asked Lupin.

“We are really sorry for that trick on Snape,” said Black.

“You really saved our asses back there,” commented James.

“We will do anything to make this up to you,” insisted Black.

“Anything?” I asked. They nodded so I said, “Then be my friends, and let me also be friends with whomever I choose.”

“Of course!” they chimed in unison, all looking very ashamed.

“I love you all very much, you know? You’ve all been like brothers to me, and I would do anything for the lot of you. Just understand that friends are there for each other, no matter what. No matter which house they come from,” I lectured them. “I am very tired so I am off to bed. Never mention this to anyone, okay?” They nodded and I went to bed to write in my journal.

***

I was feeling a bit angry at all the boys.

Why did they have to be such gits?

I held the journal a while before opening it.

“Are you there, Severus? Please answer me. I need to explain,” I wrote.

“I’m here.” I was relieved that he had written back.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“Definitely. Are you okay?”

“No. Are you?” I asked.

“No,” he replied.

“I swear I didn’t know what they had planned.”

“I know. I’m sorry for everything,” he wrote.

“I’m sorry too. Do you hate me?” I asked.

“I could never hate you. How could you ask me that?”

I wrote in response, “Well, it was just so awful and I missed you terribly.”

“I need to see you,” he wrote.

“I know. I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“I mean now,” he replied.

“Now? Where?” I asked.

Snape wrote, “Meet me outside the dungeons by the Potions classroom. Filch never goes down there this late. Wait ten minutes and bring your journal in case you run into trouble.”

“Are you sure? All right, I will be there. Severus?”

“Yes?” he asked.

“Please be careful! If you get caught, well, I don’t even want to think about it!”

“I know, I will be. Listen, I know Potter has an invisibility cloak. He owes you enough to let you wear it. Go and get it from him. I can get one as well.”

“Good idea. I am on my way,” I answered.

“Ellie?”

“Yes?”

“I…will see you soon. Go now.”

“Okay.” I closed the journal and took it with me.

***

I snuck up the charred boy’s stairs and went to see James. I got inside his bed curtains and gave him a nudge. “James, wake up”.

“What? Ellie…what’s going on? Is there some kind of trouble?” he asked half asleep.

“No. I need to use your invisibility cloak for a minute. Come on, hurry!” I said quickly.

“What are you going to do?”

“Never you mind. Will you get it? I really need It,” I said.

“Yeah, but be careful of Mr. Norris. I think she can smell you through it. Don’t get caught, whatever it is that you’re doing.” He reached into his trunk and handed it to me. “Here, be careful, Ellie, I mean it!”

“Thanks, I will. I will give it back to you in the morning, ok?” I asked.

“Sure. Be quick about it. I’ll never forgive myself if you get caught,” he warned.

“Right then, I’m off.” I wrapped the cloak around me and ran down the doors, through the common room, and out the portrait hole. I looked carefully for Filch and, when I decided it was clear, I scurried down the hall. It was a long walk to the dungeons from Gryffindor tower but I made it in no time.

***

I realized we were both invisible so I wrote in the journal, “I’m here, where are you?”

“In the corner behind the screen,” he wrote. I turned around and saw the screen. I waived my arm behind it and an invisible arm grabbed me and pulled me in. “Shh, it’s me,” he whispered.

We both took the cloaks off at the same time. “Severus,” I whispered and then gave him a huge hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be because I believe you,” he whispered in return. “Why did you lie to Dumbledore when you know that I did it?” he asked, seeming very worried.

“I couldn’t let you get expelled. I don’t want to be at Hogwarts without you! I thought for a moment that you would confess and I got really scared!” I said as I clung to him.

“You could have gotten yourself expelled. I’m not worth it,” he said sadly while stroking my hair.

“First of all, this was my first offense. I knew I wouldn’t be expelled like the rest of you. I don’t think Dumbledore believes me anyway. He seems to know everything but he let me take the blame. It’s not that bad,” I assured him. “Further more, you are very worth it. I can’t bear the thought of being without you. Please don’t be angry with me.” I pulled back just a little and looked up at him.

“Ellie,” he whispered, “I’m not angry with you, not even a little. I can’t believe you did that for me! And Malfoy, he can’t believe it either. I’ve never seen him admit to anything ever!”

“I was really surprised that he spoke up when he did. I thought for sure he’d be relieved and let me take the blame,” I said. “What’s gotten into him?”

“You,” he replied with a tiny grin, “You have a way with people. You’re just so very…good.” He was looking at me deeply now and continued, “You are too good for Potter, Lupin and Black and…me.”

“I’m not too good for anyone. Potter and especially Black can be real jerks, but they have also been very good friends to me when I have needed them. Lupin is much more mild mannered than them. They mean a lot to me. I hate that you lot are always at each other’s throats.”

He looked a little sad by what I had said. “Oh, I see.” He looked jealous and sad all at once.

“Severus, it’s not like that!” I assured, knowing what he was thinking. “They are like brothers to me. Very protective and idiotic brothers, but nothing more. Look at me, Severus,” I requested gently, “I feel very differently about you.”

“Oh? How is it that you feel for me?” he asked very shyly.

I leaned forward and kissed him once, very slowly on his lips. I pulled back a little to see his reaction. Then he pulled me back and kissed me. I felt my breath slip away. He was so very passionate and gentle. It had been so long since that night at the dance, when we had almost kissed, and we hadn’t the nerve to try since. Our embrace tightened and our kisses become hungrier. I thought my heart would explode! We both needed to stop and catch our breath, so we pulled away a little and looked at each other.

I smiled bashfully and whispered, “Do you understand now?”

He pulled me close and kissed my forehead tenderly. “Yes, I see now. I will never doubt you again, I promise,” he said seriously, barely above a whisper. “I will never ignore you or leave you alone again. I’m really sorry.”

“I know, Severus. I don’t want to pretend anymore. I don’t care if the whole world sees us,” I said. “I am tired of having so many secrets.”

“No more secrets,” he promised. “I only care what you think and no one else matters.” He tilted my chin up to his and we kissed again. “Don’t ever leave me. I couldn’t bear it,” he pleaded.

“I’ll never leave you, Severus, not ever,” I whispered gently as he held me close. We held on to each other for a long time.

“We should go back to our dorms. Filch will be making his rounds soon,” he advised.

I looked at him and frowned. He could read my mind and whispered, “I don’t want to either, but we have both been in a lot of trouble tonight.” I agreed with a nod. He kissed me once more and then put the cloak around me leaving my head out. “We can go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, it’s Saturday. Meet me around 10 okay, just outside the entrance to the castle.”

I smiled happily. “That’s only five hours, but it seems like forever.” I kissed his cheek. “I’ll be there, Goodnight.”

“See you soon. I miss you already,” he said as he kissed my hand. “Hurry now, I think he’s coming.” He pulled the cloak over my head and then put his on. We both rushed back to our dorms.

When I got back to bed, I tucked James’s cloak under my pillow and looked at my journal.

Should I open it?

I opened it to find he had already written, “You should be sleeping.”

I giggled and replied, “I am.”

“Having a good dream?”

“The best ever,” I wrote

“Really, tell me quickly what it’s about.”

“You Severus, it will always be you.”

“Promise?”

“With all my heart…” I closed the diary and dreamed of him…


Author notes: I hope that wasn't too sappy, but it makes me smile. The next few chapters are itching to be posted.

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