Coveting Thy Enemy

Chapter 25: Bibliotherapy

So far three days had passed since Harry and Draco had been banished to Godric Gryffindor's suite. Well, Harry liked to use the term "banished" because although he didn't mind his roommate one bit, it did feel as if they had been punished for something. So, here he was trying to write a letter to Cho and failing quite miserably. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to write or not, but Dumbledore did send him Hedwig; however, it was probably only so he could write to Sirius. Still, he knew Cho well enough to know she was no threat to him, and besides, he wasn't planning on telling her where he was anyway. So, there!

Harry crumpled up yet another piece of parchment and threw it to the floor, laughing when he saw Draco stand up from his armchair, sigh, pick the ball of paper up, and throw it into the trash can. He had been doing that all morning. Draco's fastidiousness was no surprise to Harry since the Slytherin had always kept up an immaculate appearance, so it really didn't bother him. Although, it would be nice if Draco would stop folding their worn clothing before placing them in the dirty clothes hamper. He could tell Draco was getting a little stir crazy. After all, he had always had free reign to do as he pleased, even at the Malfoy Manor. Harry, however, was used to isolation after spending so many years with the Dursleys, especially since quite a few of those years he had inhabited a cupboard beneath the stairs. He also knew that it wouldn't be long before Draco's calm exterior cracked. He knew him enough by now to know how hot and cold the silver-haired boy's moods ran. It was clear that Draco was trying to remain in control for Harry's sake, but Harry could sense the restlessness that was threatening to break the seams of the Slytherin's temper.

Draco was drumming his fingers now against the end table he was sitting by. Duh-DUM, Duh-DUM, Duh-DUM. It was a litany that was keeping Harry from writing any sort of coherent sentence. He decided to ignore it, but in his mind the drumming took on a voice: Bore-DOM, Bore-DOM, Bore-DOM. He crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trashcan this time. "Sit here," Harry said, patting the space beside him on the bed. He was sprawled out on his stomach, which was his usual writing stance. Draco got up and lay next to him, mimicking Harry's posture. Harry brushed a shock of silky silvery-blonde hair out of Draco's stormy eyes in order to see his expression. "What's wrong?"

Draco shrugged, "I'm bored. You've been writing all morning. Well, trying to write anyway. I hate to say it, but you're my sole means of amusement in this prison."

Harry looked hurt. "Is that bad?"

Draco laughed at Harry's naivety. "No, it's not bad, Harry. I wouldn't want another roommate, honestly. I'm just getting cabin fever, is all. I mean, we sleep here, eat here, take our lessons here . . ."

Harry nodded in understanding. "Hopefully it won't be too long, love. But until then, we'll just have to wait. Look at it in this light: when we leave here, you'll go back to your room, and I'll have to go back to my dorm."

"I guess it doesn't sound too bad, then," Draco said with a smile. He flopped over on his back and looked at the ceiling. So, talk to me."

"About what?"

"I don't care. Anything."

Harry scooted over so he could see the pale boy's face. "Alright then, I guess I could ask a question that's been on my mind. Perfect opportunity and all."

"Go ahead, shoot," Draco said, still seemingly fascinated with the swirling patterns of the ceiling.

Harry paused a second before asking, "Why was it so easy for you to make a truce with Ron? I know you, Draco, and I know you did it for me, but I didn't expect you to shake hands so easily."

The Slytherin rolled over on his side, facing Harry. "Tell all the Truth, but tell it Slant," he quoted.

"What?"

Draco sighed. "You're so uncultured, Harry. It's a line from a poem by Emily Dickinson."

"I know who Emily Dickinson is. She was the weirdo who locked herself up in her house for all those years." Harry said. "I just don't know why you're quoting a Muggle."

"You don't really believe she was a Muggle, do you, Harry? I mean, the widow of Amherst? Think about it, dressed in white, a recluse, choosing her own society. She had to have been a witch."

"Alright, maybe she was. Her life was very similar to Cedric the Strange, but explain what you mean."

"Well, Dickinson explained that the truth should always be told gradually, a little at a time. If it's told all at once, it's too shocking, too upsetting. Usually, if the truth comes out too quickly, it's not accepted. It's called denial. In extreme cases, the truth is even attacked."

"Okay, what does that have to do with anything?" Harry asked, puzzled.

"Well, Weasley was shocked with quite a bit of truth when he caught us that night. . ."

"So, he decided to attack it - us," Harry finished.

"Right. It was an almost admirable what he did, offering his hand that day, so I wasn't about to turn him down," Draco admitted.

"Hmmmm. Okay, that explains a lot. I do have to say, that you're acceptance of his hand was quite admirable as well, Draco. That was a lot of past prejudice you decided to let go," Harry said, rubbing Draco's shoulder when he blushed at the praise he received.

"Yea well, what can I say? I guess you're a good influence on me."

"So, when did you get to be such a philosopher, Draco? First the bible, now Dickinson. What's next?"

Draco let out a silvery laugh. "Well, Harry. I could go on and on about Shakespeare if you'd like. Have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?"

Dear Cho,

First of all, I want you to know that I'm all right. You've probably heard through the grapevine that I've run away. Actually, Dumbledore has hidden me somewhere, somewhere safe. Unfortunately, I can't tell you where. You've probably also heard a lot of rumors about me. I really haven't heard any of these rumors myself, so I'm not sure what you've heard that is true and what isn't. I know I haven't written to you for a while, but a lot has happened. I've been writing you letter after letter, only to throw them away when I realize the words don't express the situation I'm in. You were right when you told me in one of your past letters that I was holding something back from you. I know you've been worried about me, but there's really nothing to worry about. I just had to run some things through my mind in order to piece them together.

I just finished a conversation with Draco Malfoy. Yes, DRACO MALFOY. The truth is, we've been talking a lot. He seems to think that the truth should be told slowly, but I've never been one to beat around the bush, have I? Besides, I really don't know how to go slow about telling you about this. Actually, I'm being quite selfish because I'm telling you this in desperate hope that you will give me some advice. The truth is (insert scary foreshadowing music here) I've been in a romantic relationship with Draco since Christmas. Yes, the big crush I had, the person I wouldn't name, was Draco Malfoy. I'm asking you to put any past prejudices you have about him aside because he's not the same person you remember. I don't think he ever really was that person, to be honest.

Unfortunately, recently someone at Hogwart's found out about us and not only blabbed to the whole school, but to Lucius Malfoy as well. That's why Draco and I are in hiding. If his father were to get ahold of him, I shudder to think what would happen to either or both of us. All I know is that I DO NOT want to give up Draco, and I will die to hold onto him if I have to.

The thing I need advice about is love. How do you know when you're in love with someone, Cho? Draco recently admitted he was in love with me, and I had no answer for that. I have never had someone love me before, so I'm pretty inexperienced about the whole issue. I mean, my parents loved me, I'm sure, but I really don't remember them much. I know Ron, Hermione, you, and Sirius love me, but that's a different sort of love. How do you know? I've been sorting through my feelings these past few days a lot. Believe me, I've had ample time to do so. There are a few truths I've come up with:

I could add a few more things here, but I think you get the picture. Tell me, Cho, is it love? Because if it is, I'd like to be able to answer the question that I see in his eyes with an affirmative.

I'm sorry about the seriousness of this letter, but I really don't know whom else to turn to. Hermione and Ron visit daily, but if I asked them, Ron would ignore the question (he is still having a little bit of a problem with the situation, even though he is trying to accept it), and Hermione would want to treat the question like an essay prompt. If the situation bothers you, you really don't have to reply; although, I think you will anyway.

Love,

A Very Confused Harry

Dearest Harry,

I'm really glad you decided to write to me after all this time. Considering what you wrote, I understand why it took you so long. I was getting worried, and I'm glad to hear you're okay. I have to say, Harry, that was one of the most eloquent letters you've ever written. I think I'm going to keep it just in case you become famous someday. This way it will be worth a lot of money (my attempt at humor).

As for your question, I really don't know how to answer. I wasn't surprised to hear who your object of affection is. I kind of had an inkling after the way you both acted at the Yule Ball. As far as the WHO, it really doesn't bother me. There's always more to someone than what meets the eye, so why should Draco Malfoy be any different? You've always had great taste in companions and good judgment of character, so I'm not going to second guess your choice of partners.

I've written to you a lot about Ian Cameron, have I not? I also told you that we started dating after the Yule Ball. The jealousy thing really did work after all. All I know is that I am hopelessly and completely in love. I don't know if it happened gradually or suddenly, to be honest. All I know is that one day I woke up and the realization was there. The amount of time it was lurking in my subconscious, I don't know. I guess it showed itself to me when I felt I was ready to accept it. I don't know if your situation is similar or not; after all, I'm not you. I know you well, yes, but only you know yourself better than anyone else. All I can tell you is that I have the same symptoms you listed. The list was cute by the way, only you would make some type of logical, orderly list about a thing like that.

Anyway, if you are in love with him, you will realize it. It may not be today or tomorrow, but when you are ready. The only advice I can give you is to not use the "L-word" until that realization comes. It will save not only you, but also Draco a lot of hurt later on. I'm sorry I can't give you a "yes or no" answer. It's not as simple as that.

Love always,

Cho