Harry Potter Meets Dora the Explorer

Harry Potter and Dora the Explorer:

Setting: Hogsmeade in the middle of the night. You see Harry, Ron and Hermione sitting in the middle of the street, holding up a mysterious looking purple backpack.

Ron: What is it?

Harry: I think it's a backpack.

Hermione: Of course it's a backpack, what else would it be?

Ron: It could be a torture device.

Hermione: Honestly Ron, how would a backpack torture you?

Ron: Hey, hey, hey...it looks pretty dangerous to me!

Hermione: (snorts)

Harry: (points down the road towards a shadow of a really short person in the distance) Hey! What's that you guys?

Hermione: It looks like a person.

Ron: Oh No! It's going to attack us! Run for your lives! (Runs around screaming like a girl, eventually tripping on his robes and falling face first into a pile of dirt.)

Hermione: (snorts again)

Harry: You know Hermione, snorting isn't very attractive.

Hermione: (ignoring Harry) Ron are you all right?

Ron: (can't answer because his mouth is full of dirt)

Hermione: (shakes her head)

Harry: You guy's it's coming closer.

Hermione: What should we do?

Harry: Maybe it wants its backpack.

(The shadow comes nearer, and out of the darkness comes...Dora the Explorer!)

Hermione: Who are you?

Dora: Hola mis amigos! Soy Dora el explorador!

Harry: What did she just say?

Ron: I think she said something about potatoes.

Hermione: (snorts again) No, she said: "Hello my friends, I am Dora the Explorer."

Harry: How do you know Spanish?

Ron: How come she gets a name that rhymes?

Dora: Nice to meet all of you. I see you've found my backpack!

Harry: Maybe.

Ron: Why does your name rhyme?

Hermione: (snorting again) yes, we found your backpack.

Harry: Hermione, I think your nose is going to fall off soon.

Dora: Can I have it please?

Ron: What about me? Am I not cool enough to get a rhyming name?

Harry: Maybe. How much money do you have?

Hermione: Harry! Give the girl her backpack.

Ron: How about Ron the Swan?

Harry: No. I rather like the purple.

Dora: Please, I need it back so I can go help children understand el lenguaje español!

Harry: Sorry, but I don't speak Spanish.

Hermione: She said--

Ron: (cutting Hermione off) Or Ron the Yawn? How about it Dora? Ron the Yawn?

Dora: Usted es muy estúpido.

Hermione: (snorts again)

Harry: (starts searching through her backpack, throwing out puzzles and games of all sorts)

Ron: (picks up one of the games) Oh! Look! A rhyming game!

Dora: Give me my backpack.

Harry: No.

Hermione: Harry just give her back her backpack.

Harry: No.

Dora: Then I will have to fight you

Ron: Look at this! 'Red' rhymes with 69 other words!

Harry: Fight me?

Dora: (calmly) yes.

Hermione: Harry! We can buy you a purple backpack tomorrow! Just give it back!

Harry: Fight me...and how do you propose you will do that?

Dora: By turning you into a pig that says 'moo'.

Harry: (confused) What?

Dora: (Takes out her wand that was hidden in her pocket, and points it at Harry, turning him into a pig that says 'moo')

Hermione: But Dora! Pigs don't say 'Moo'!

Dora: (mysteriously) I know.

Ron: This is so neat! Look, I can call myself Ron the Azerbaijan!

Hermione: Isn't that a country?

Ron: (shrugs) I don't know. But it sounds wicked cool!

Harry: Moo!

Ron: Sure thing Harry, you can be my sidekick, Harry the Fairy.

Harry: Moo!

Hermione: I don't think he likes that name.

Dora: Oh will you stop already! All of you!

(Everyone turns to look at Dora)

Dora: All I want is my backpack!

Harry: Moo! Moo! (Takes the backpack in his mouth and runs away with it)

Dora: Oh he is going to be so sorry he did that! El cerdo estúpido, no puede incluso conseguir el ' oink ' derecho.

Hermione: He is not stupid! He's my friend! And he's not really a pig anyway.

Ron: Hermione! This is devastating!

Hermione: What is?

Ron: There aren't any rhymes for your name!

Hermione: What? (Astonished) Let me see that! (Grabs the game out of Ron's hands)

Ron: Hey!

Dora: I will be back for my purple backpack! (Frowns because Hermione and Ron are too obsessed with the rhyming game to listen, and Harry the pig that says 'moo' has ran behind a garbage can. So Dora the Explorer just walks away.)

Hermione: Stupid piece of Muggle trash! (Throws the rhyming game on the floor. It breaks.)

Ron: HEY! I liked that game!

Harry: Moo!