All The Wrong Parts

E. G. Fitzgerald

Story Summary:
Nothing seems to get Hermione going lately. School isn't even interesting! Since she's a sixth year now, she's allowed to compete in the school-wide Magic Fair. Since she seems to always be wondering how boys work, she disguises herself as one, living, working and playing among them. What will she learn?

Chapter 01

Posted:
01/09/2004
Hits:
1,395
Author's Note:
Hello everyone! I plan on making this a pretty long fic! Please direct rants and raves to [email protected]. Thanks!


Hermione tapped her quill lazily on the table, staring at nothing in particular on the rug in the common room. She twirled an ink stained pinky in a rebellious strand of hair and sighed, leaning back in her chair. Her gaze drifted to the window and she noticed that a sluggish snow storm was brewing.

Yes, for once in Hermione Granger's life, she was bored with her schoolwork. Pushing her half completed Arithmancy assignment to the side, she stood up and wandered to the roaring fireplace. She laced her fingers together and stretched them above her head, yawning. She almost would have been relaxed if two loud voices hadn't barged into the common room followed by two chilly looking Gryffindors.

Harry and Ron shed their winter layers and tossed them to the floor, paying no attention to Hermione.

"Ugh..." Hermione thought to herself, rolling her eyes and slumping back into her chair. "More Quidditch talk..."

"Hey!" Ron exclaimed finally noticing Hermione and stretching his rather long body onto the sofa next to Hermione. "You'll never guess in a MILLION years what happened!"

"Yeah! It was amazing!" Harry said, joining Ron with an exuberant leap on the red and gold couch, kneeing him in the process. Ron cringed and let forth a painful sounding "Oomph!"

Ignoring Ron, Harry continued. "Ok...so Angelina was zooming up towards Marcus-"

"And Marcus just JUMPS off his broom in MIDAIR!" Ron interrupted, shoving Harry to the floor.

"Yeah and the-" Harry started, but he wouldn't finish.

"Ugh!" Hermione stood up in the middle of his sentence with a frustrated stomp, and walked out of the room.

"What's bothering her?" Harry whispered to Ron, afraid she might still be in earshot.

"Like I would know." It was now Ron's turn to roll his eyes. "Who knows how she works anyway?"

~

Hermione dragged her feet up the stairs. This was horrible! Absolutely horrible! First, she couldn't finish her favorite class work, second, she was moody for no reason, and third, she still hadn't come up with an idea for the Magic Fair.

Since the beginning of Hermione's first year, when she first learned about the sixth and seventh year exclusive Magic Fair, she would lie in bed staring at her stone ceiling, dreaming up different experiments to tinker with. A slow smile crept across her face. If only she could get a grasp on what was bothering her. Stopping at the very top stair to the girls' dormitory, Hermione slouched down against the wall and let out an aggravated sigh.

"What is wrong with me?!" Hermione grabbed a handful of frizzy brown hair and tugged in the most exasperated manner she could muster. After sitting for a few moments, she took a deep breath and slowly crept into her dorm so she could have some peace and quiet.

~ The Next Day in Potions Class ~

Ronald Weasley angrily scrubbed at some crusted bubotuber pus that he spilled in the process of making an acne antidote. Professor Snape peered over his shoulder, of course not helping, but just sneering. This was not in the slightest alleviating Ron's horrid mood.

He wouldn't have knocked over the measuring glass if he was paying attention to his surroundings instead of the weary look on Hermione's face. Her hair was pulled back in a hunter green ribbon, but it still struggled against it. Tucking a stray stand of curly hair behind her ear, Hermione reached across her table and turned a page in her book. The bags under her eyes were growing bigger each day, and lines were beginning to form on her forehead from her permanently furrowed brow. It seemed that nowadays, she was either studying or staring sadly into space.

"Ah-ha!" Ron exclaimed, throwing his now sad looking Brillo pad into the trash basket. He swept a hand through his unruly copper hair and turned to Harry, who was laughing with a girl from Hufflepuff.

" 'ey Harry!" Ron cocked his head and signaled for Harry to join him on the opposite side of the room. Harry checked to see if Snape was occupied, and having discovered he was fighting the last concoction Neville laid his hands on, he bounded across the room.

"Yeah?" he asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose. Ron tossed his potions book on his table and leaned against the wall.

"What do you suppose is bugging Hermione?" Ron asked, crossing his arms. "She seems..."

"Not herself?" Harry chimed in, nodding his head slowly. "She has been a bit odd lately."

"You think we should ask her what's wrong?" Ron asked, shuffling his feet. "I mean...she's our friend and all, you think she'd do the same for us..."

"Yeah, sure," Harry replied, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes. "But...bloody hell, I've got to work on my History of Magic essay due tomorrow."

"Oh...well...then some other ti-" Ron started. But Harry kept on talking anyways.

"So can you talk to her tonight?" Smiling, Harry continued, "That would be great, thanks."

Confused as ever, Ron headed back to his table and gathered his ingredients, seeing as class was ending in two minutes. Surprisingly, Snape had no homework for the class that night and Ron breathed a sigh of relief. Confronting Hermione was going to be a hassle, but having a Potions essay to write on top of everything would ruin his night altogether.

After what seemed like two minutes of Professor Snape purely staring down Ron and Harry, the bell finally rang. Ron was almost entirely down the hall when he realized he forgot his wand.

"Of all the dumb things..." Ron muttered to himself turned around sharply in the hall. With a loud "oomph!" though, he discovered Luna Lovegood, who was directly behind him, and now sprawled on the floor amongst her scattered schoolbooks.

"Ron!" Luna exclaimed, looking rather surprised, but not in the least angry.

"Oh!" Ron replied, equally surprised as Luna. He quickly crouched down to help Luna retrieve her belongings, setting his own on the floor next to her. "I'm sorry! I'm such a bumbling idiot sometimes."

"Aw, don't say that," Luna said, sticking her wand behind her ear for safekeeping. "I always thought you were rather smart." Luna smirked and grabbed for some multi-colored papers with her flourishing handwriting on it, all the while, keeping her silver eyes glued on Ron.

Blushing under her stare, Ron speedily gathered her remaining papers and stood up, sticking his hands deep in his pockets. "Well! I better be off now!" Ron ran down the hall, disappearing out of Luna's sight.

Sighing, Luna toyed with her butterbeer-cap necklace and trudged onto her next class.