The Road to Hell

27 December, 1995: Occlumency

The chiming of the door sounds like the clinking of Walden McNair's ax. A nice beheading would probably be a good deal less painful than what I'm going to have to do in the next hour.

//Albus, Albus. How do you manage to get yourself into these predicaments?//

My conscience long ago adopted Tom Riddle's voice as its own. I sometimes wonder if there isn't some form of obliviation that could correct that.

//Don't blame me for your problems, Albus. After all, you are the one who always has a plan.//

That's true. I always have a plan. Unfortunately, they never seem to quite work out the way I intend.

Severus strides into the room, his robes billowing. In a castle still decorated from tower to dungeon with glistening Yule baubles, he is a particularly grim Ghost of Christmas Past. The unrelieved black of Severus' clothing is a kind of stark statement, a deliberate rebuke to those of us who manage to find color and cheer in life. Meaning to me, especially. It has never been lost on me that, although Severus blames James Potter and Sirius Black for most of the horror that is his life, he keeps a large reservoir of complicated resentment for my actions, and Minerva's.

"Please be seated, Severus," I call cheerfully, as Fawkes chirps a muted (for him) greeting.

"Thank you, Headmaster." He folds himself into a chair across from me. I have chosen to greet him seated near the hearth, a bright fire crackling, a table of holiday pastries close at hand.

"I trust you have had a happy Christmas?"

"Passable." Snape helps himself to some of the wine I have set out specifically for his visit.

"I am glad to say that Arthur Weasley is well on the way to a full recovery."

"Most fortunate for him," Severus answers in his typical monotone.

"Mister Potter is also well-recovered." I am sure my eyes are twinkling more than I would like, so I quickly look over to the teakettle and motion for it to heat my cup.

"Most fortunate," Severus replies, his voice even more flat.

"I have spoken with Sirius Black recently." I suddenly feel very, very tired and my own voice is suddenly heavy. "I fear that the connection between Tom and Harry is growing progressively stronger. We have entered into a very dangerous situation."

"Indeed." Snape's lips barely move. His face might as well be formed of wax.

//He doesn't want to play, Albus.//

No, he does not.

"I think it is vital that Harry learn to Occlude his mind," I say firmly, adopting my brisk Headmaster tone. The severe "Head of the Order" tone will probably be needed soon, but I want to give Severus the opportunity to react with grace.

//As if he ever does.//

Well, hope springs eternal.

"Potter's mind is perpetually occluded, Headmaster. At least as far as his schoolwork is concerned."

"Mister Potter, Severus," I say wearily. Mister Potter. Professor Snape. I'm starting to feel like a cross between a parrot and a teacher in a Muggle kindergarten.

"Mister Potter has shown himself to be remarkably thick-minded, Headmaster. Especially where his own welfare is concerned, I must say."

"Mister Potter has a great many burdens to bear," I say softly.

"Don't we all, Headmaster?" Snape's lips are really a wonder to watch. Such economy of movement must be terribly difficult to maintain. He manages the absolute barest of muscular contraction needed to clearly enunciate his acidic tones.

"That is true, Severus." I motion for the kettle to refill my teacup yet again.

"I agree, Headmaster." Snape's sudden statement makes me look up is surprise. "Mister Potter is in need of Occlumency training. If you recall, I have strongly argued for this in the past."

"I do indeed recall, Severus," I say softly, careful to meet his eyes. "And I admit that I made a mistake in not heeding your urging."

"Then please heed me now, Headmaster. You should recall Potter to Hogwarts and begin his training immediately."

"Mister Potter, Severus."

"Mister Potter," he spits, "is a danger to us all."

He is that. And the person in the most danger is Severus himself.

When I do not answer, Severus steeples his fingers and regards me over the points of his fingernails, his black eyes gleaming. "Once again, Headmaster, I urge you to begin Mister Potter's training immediately."

"I think we can afford to wait a few days, Severus," I say softly. "After all, Tom has more than enough to occupy his mind at the moment."

"Gambling on the Dark Lord's intentions is risky, Professor Dumbledore," Snape drones. "I would have thought that would have been clear by now."

//Ouch! Those barbs on his tongue are getting sharper!//

True, but with good reason.

"I agree, Severus," I say carefully, "but Harry is under the watchful eye of Sirius Black and the Weasleys. I think they will be able to keep us apprised if Tom makes any further moves."

"If Potter ... excuse me, Mister Potter bothers to inform them. His lack of good sense in these matters is truly astounding."

"Sirius is under instructions to actively monitor the situation."

"Forgive me if I am less than reassured." Snape sips his wine. He is the only man I know who can express grumpiness with a sip. "However, it seems that everyone is determined to mollycoddle Mister Potter once again - even if it costs us all our lives, or worse."

I decided not to respond to that.

//Brace yourself, Albus. So much for the smooth sailing.//

"I wanted to talk to you because of your expertise in Occlumency, Severus."

Snape nods slowly, as if this is only logical. Which, indeed, it is.

"There will be great danger in teaching Harry Occlumency. As you are aware, the early stages of Occlumency training entail a major lowering of mental barriers. This will be an exceptionally critical period."

Snape sips his wine again. "All the more reason you should not coddle Mister Potter, Headmaster. The quicker he becomes proficient, the quicker this period will pass."

"You are correct, of course, Severus. However, there is another danger. As I have remarked before, it would seem that my presence within Harry's sight or hearing seems to draw Tom's attention."

Severus freezes with his glass halfway to his lips. "Yes, Headmaster?"

//Ah, the Slytherin instinct for survival, truly a thing of beauty to behold.//

"I believe it would be far too perilous for me to tutor Harry in Occlumency." Best sometimes to be direct.

"Dangerous for whom, Headmaster?" I swear he actually got that out without moving his lips at all.

"For Harry, Severus." I say that calmly and in a matter-of-fact tone. But I nevertheless maintain eye contact. Severus deserves no less.

"I see," he sips his wine pensively. "And whom did you have in mind to serve as Mister Potter's tutor?"

//Look out.//

"I think there is only one alternative, Professor Snape." I stress the 'Professor' as lightly as possible, but I can tell by the curl of his lip that he heard me.

"Headmaster, what you ask is impossible!" He sets his glass down firmly - so firmly that I am surprised he doesn't snap the stem.

"Severus, I am not requesting anything." A great sadness blossoms in my chest. This bids well to be painful for everyone involved.

"I am gratified to hear that, Headmaster."

"I am afraid that I am insisting, Professor Snape."

Severus places his hands down carefully on the arms of his chair. His lip twists into a sour bow. "Headmaster, I don't think that is a wise course of action."

"Wise or not, Severus, it is the only course of action available to us." I feel like I'm walking on a bridge of razors.

"Given Mister Potter's lack of respect for my instruction in the past, I don't think this bodes well for success."

"We have no choice but to succeed, Severus," I say quietly.

"I understand the importance, Headmaster. However, Potter is unlikely to pay heed to those who have his best interests in mind."

"I have every confidence that Mister Potter will grasp the importance of mastering Occlumency once its purpose is explained."

"Your confidence may well be misplaced, Headmaster." Snape lifts his nose in a silent sniff, a reminder that I have been mistaken before. "After all, Mister Potter has found that these... episodes... contribute to his fame and sense of entitlement."

"Harry has no love of fame, Severus," I reply wearily, "quite the opposite."

"I am afraid we disagree on that, Headmaster."

"It is your privilege to have your own opinions, Severus," I say quietly.

Severus sits like a stone for several heartbeats. "Headmaster, if I teach Potter... the Dark Lord may well observe our lessons."

//Aha! Let it never be said that Severus doesn't know the value of his own skin.//

"I am aware of that, Severus. However, you may inform him, truthfully, that I have ordered you to undertake this task."

"And how, Headmaster, will I explain succeeding in 'this task,' as you call it?" His voice is so hard that you could crack eggs on it.

"Tom is well aware that I am skilled at Occlumency," I say softly. "Given his own nature, he would easily believe that I would keep close watch on Harry's progress."

Severus does snort now. "You are naively confident of the Dark Lord's ability to be reasonable, Headmaster." His voice is bitter. "He will be extremely unhappy with my success, no matter the excuse I give."

"Severus, I know it is a great risk. Believe me, I would teach Harry myself if I did not believe this course of action to be absolutely necessary."

//And if you weren't too afraid of what kind of memories you might be forced to see in Harry's mind.//

Yes, that is a prime motivator for my decision, as well.

I reach over and place one of my hands on his. "If there were anyone else available, I would ask them. But no other member of the Order has the necessary skill."

"I believe that William Weasley is rather accustomed to the exercise of Occlumency," Snape says slowly.

//My goodness, praising a Weasley? I'd sooner believe a snake praising a mongoose!//

"Yes," I acknowledge, patting Severus' hand slowly, "a curse breaker does have to use Occlumency from time to time. But rarely and not to the extent that Harry will need."

Severus sighs heavily and brushes my hand away irritably. "Very well, Headmaster."

"You know," I say with perfect truth, "that I trust you completely."

"I said, very well!" Severus snaps. Then he shakes his head. "My apologies, Professor."

"Quite all right, Severus, quite all right."

"I assume that this ... exercise... will be completely between Mister Potter and myself?"

"The rest of the Order will know of it, but you will be the only member involved, yes."

"Good." Snape takes an inelegant gulp of wine. "I won't have Potter running to Black constantly complaining about how cruel and unfair I am."

//That's a problem.//

"Severus," I say carefully, "I am aware of your feelings for Sirius Black. However, he is Mister Potter's godfather, and a member of the Order. I am afraid that he has a right to information in this regard."

"Professor, I WILL NOT have that mutt constantly berating and threatening me over the way his pup is treated!" The glass comes down again with a loud crack.

"Severus, please be reasonable," I plead.

//As soon ask the sun to come up in the west.//

Thank you, Tom.

"I will speak with Sirius. But you must realize that he has a legitimate interest in this situation."

Severus snorts, but does not argue. I breathe a little more easily.

"Besides," I continue with a fond smile, "I think you will find Harry just as reluctant as you to have Sirius intimately involved."

Severus growls softly, giving a passable imitation of a hound himself. But still he does not protest.

"Very well, then." I smile at him and absently take a lemon drop into my mouth.

"Yes, Professor?" He asks wearily. His eyebrows and arched and something that faintly resembles a smile plays about his lips.

//Severus growing a sense of humor? My goodness, we will have to eject him from the House.//

"Pardon, Severus?"

"Your silence is pregnant with meaning, Professor. What else do you have to say?"

I suck on the lemon-drop for another moment while I gather my thoughts. "As you well know, Occlumency training is an extremely uncomfortable process, Severus."

"Yes, Headmaster." He frowns darkly. "I think you know what my opinion on coddling students, is Headmaster."

I work very hard not to sigh. "Yes, Severus. And I agree that pushing someone repeatedly to their limits is sometimes," the qualification comes out with much more stress than I had intended, "a good way of teaching."

"But," his hands clench, "the delicate and precious Mister Potter is not to be treated that way?"

"Severus, I did not say that." Although that is exactly what I am about to say. "However, surely you agree that particular circumstances have to be taken into account?"

"So you and Professor McGonagall constantly tell me in the case of Mister Longbottom. And Professor Sprout, although what business she has with regard to Longbottom I do not know."

"Severus," I raise my hands automatically to try and stem his tirade, "please calm down. I am merely pointing out that Mister Potter has a good many real tragedies in his memory. Many more than anyone his age should have. Many more than anyone any age should have. Occlumency is likely to be very difficult for him to learn under any circumstances."

And that is one reason, a secondary reason to be sure, that I want Severus to undertake these lessons. I had hoped, foolishly, that over time he would learn to see the true worth in Harry. That has not happened, but I am sure that when he sees what dwells in Harry's mind and memory, that he will be forced to regard Mr. Potter with more respect.

//Face it, Albus. You don't believe anybody who truly knows Harry could fail to love him.//

That's true. I also want Harry to see what dwells in Severus' mind. I don't think anyone who really understands what resides beneath the surface of our embittered Potions master could fail to respect him.

"Occlumency training is like one of Madam Pomfrey's more intrusive examinations," Snape observes coldly. "It is uncomfortable and humiliating but whining does not make it better."

//Well, that isn't promising.//

"Severus, please." I reach over and rest my hand on his once again. "You understand how important this is, I know."

"Of course, Headmaster." He regards me with something like wariness.

"Then Severus, you understand how vital it is, how absolutely necessary, that Mister Potter be treated with patience and respect." I look him directly in the eye, refusing to look away as anger glistens in his pupils.

"RESPECT!" he spits. "When has POTTER shown ME respect?"

"Severus, I am well aware that there is some very bad history between you and Harry. But this is ABSOLUTELY VITAL." I lean forward, still looking him in the eye. "I trust you completely, Severus. You know that."

He stares at me for a moment longer, then seems to slump. "Very well, Headmaster."

I lean back, satisfied. I really do trust Severus completely. If he has sworn he will do what is necessary, I have every faith that he will, however painful it may be.

"Excuse me, Headmaster. I want to consider this and ... make plans." Severus rises like a looming storm cloud.

"Of course, Severus."

He turns to go. I feel a deep tension in my shoulders lessen.

"Headmaster," he pauses and turns to look back at me.

"Yes, Severus?"

"You are aware of the risk I will be taking, are you not. I am, perhaps, putting my life on the line."

"Yes, Severus," I say with perfect truth, "I understand that. I would not ask it...."

"I know, Headmaster. Mister Potter is absolutely essential to our cause."

"Yes, Severus." I look at him solemnly.

"But, Headmaster," his eyes narrow, "what if he were not?"

"Pardon, Severus?"

//Look out, Albus!//

"If we were to find that the prophecy is wrong...."

"It is not, Severus," I say, trying to cut off the conversation.

"But if we were to find that it is," he looks at me, eyes like slits, "and we find that Potter is not necessary, would you agree that this is not a legitimate risk?"

"Excuse me, Severus?" I ask, feigning ignorance.

"If I could show you that the Dark Lord is wrong, and Potter is not the key to his destruction, would you still insist that I take this risk?"

In other words, he wants to know if I would risk his life to save Harry, as opposed to the Boy Who Lived.

"But Harry is the key to Voldemort's demise, Severus."

He looks at me silently.

//Albus, you surely have blown your own foot off.//

Shut up, Tom.

"I see, Headmaster," Severus says in a low voice. Then he whirls on his heel and stalks out.

I sit sipping my tea for a long time. I am sure that Tom is wrong. He does not know Severus.

No, he does not know Severus at all.