Chance

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Chance

Chapter three

By duva

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'Hiya,' came a perky voice and the couch I was sitting on sagged a little. I raised an eyebrow.

'Hi, Alexander,' I said, as she dropped her books on the table in front of us. I was sitting in the common room, taking care of some of the more unpleasant things you had to do as Head Boy. Of course, there was an advantage to this as well - Lily Evans was sitting in an armchair on the opposite side of the table. The small blonde shook her head violently.

'You can call me Sadie, now that we're almost friends and everything.'

I stared at her, perplexed. I hadn't talked to Sadie ever since the incident with the letter that summer. Lily seemed to be thinking the same thing, though hopefully, she didn't know anything about said letter.

'Friends?' she asked. 'Is there something that I missed?' I shrugged.

'Oh well, you know, you two are friends now, and I'm her friend, so by default, that makes us friends as well,' Sadie explained while rummaging through her book bag. Lily and I looked at each other in amusement. Sure, we had been spending more time together ever since we had been in Hogsmeade a few weeks ago, but all that time had been spent working. We hardly qualified as friends.

'You're off your rocker, Sades,' Lily said, smiling. My stomach churned. Every time I spent time with Lily Evans, I discovered something new I liked about her. It was becoming a bit annoying, really. I could hardly concentrate on anything else anymore. 'Anyway, Potter, I promised I'd help Sadie with her Arithmancy homework, so could we continue this tomorrow?'

'Sure,' I said, gathering my things and standing up. 'See you then.' She smiled at me, and it took me a minute to remember that I was supposed to be leaving.

*

'Oh, for crying out loud!' Sirius said loudly, smacking me in the head. A few heads turned to look at us, but Sirius either did not notice or did not care.

'What?' I asked, though I already knew the answer.

'Would you stop the staring, it's getting pathetic,' he said, helping himself to a piece of bread. I gave him an angry glare. The Great Hall during dinner was hardly the place or time for this discussion. Good thing most people hadn't gotten here yet.

'I wasn't staring,' I muttered under my breath. Sirius simply gave me a stare that quite sincerely told me that yes, I had been staring. Could you blame me? Lily Evans had just walked in to the Great Hall, devoid of company and looking simply fantastic. I was entitled to stare. 'I wasn't!' I said again, but fell quiet as she approached the place where we were sitting.

'Hi,' she said simply, sitting down opposite Sirius and next to Peter.

'No friends today, Evans?' Sirius asked, without bothering to swallow his bread. I gave him a swift little kick under the table; he whimpered, and Lily gave him an odd look.

'Actually, I came down early to talk to Potter here,' she said, and my heart gave a leap. Me? She wanted to talk to me?

'Really?' Sirius said in a suggestive tone, and I kicked him once again, harder this time. 'Ow! Dammit!' he yelped.

'Sorry, Sirius, my foot must've slipped,' Remus quickly said, and I gave him a silent thank you.

'Er, what did you want to talk to me about?' I asked, ignoring the look that Lily was once again giving Sirius.

'Oh, I just needed to discuss some school business with you,' she said, drinking a bit of pumpkin juice. I sighed. School business. Of course.

*

Don't get me wrong. It was lovely to be spending some time with Lily Evans. Wonderful, in fact. However, I was beginning to fear that this was as far as we were going to get. Sure, she didn't think I was an immature prat anymore, but she didn't seem to think much about me at all either. I sighed. I was sitting in the library, working on the same thing I had been working on the previous afternoon when Sadie Alexander had interrupted me. That was what Lily had wanted to talk to me about; she had been given a huge essay to finish by tomorrow and could not make it to our appointment, and had asked me if I could please finish it by myself. She had promised to do it all next month, but I knew that was never going to happen. I valued working with her too much to give it up, even if it would mean less work for me. With a sigh of relief, I slammed the thick book I had been writing in shut, earning me a stern look from the librarian. Exiting the library, I yawned and looked at my watch. It was already past ten and I still had homework to do.

I gave the password to the Fat Lady, walked up to my dormitory and dumped my bag there, and then made my way downstairs to the common room again, the thick book in my hand. Glancing around, I spotted Sadie Alexander sitting in a corner with some other girls I didn't know.

'Hey,' I said, walking over to them. 'You wouldn't happen to know where Evans is, would you?'

'Lily?' Sadie said, glancing up at me from the braid she was making in someone's hair. 'Yeah, she's right over there.' She nodded towards a secluded part of the common room near the windows. I caught a glimpse of light reflecting on her red hair, but couldn't see anything else other than that.

'Alright, thanks,' I said, and made my way over there. I noticed that someone else was sitting opposite her, but I didn't really care. I was just going to drop the book off, then be off to do homework.

'Hey, Evans,' I said as I approached, and her head flew up to look at me. I frowned. She looked almost a little... guilty. But why would she look guilty? I shook it off and handed her the book. 'All done.'

'Thanks, Potter,' she said, but she wouldn't quite meet my glance. 'I hope it didn't take too long?'

'Nah, it was fine,' I half-lied. 'The library was pretty empty, so I got to do it in peace and quiet.'

'So there's where you've been all this time?' said the person who was sitting on the other side of the table. 'The library? We were looking for you.' Slowly, I turned around, feeling completely numb, staring at Sirius's grinning face.

*

'What are you doing?' I asked angrily.

'What?' Sirius asked, looking puzzled.

'Don't give me that crap!' I snapped, slamming the dormitory door shut behind me. 'Just what are you playing at?'

'What are you talking about, Prongs?'

'Evans! Down there, with Evans!' I spluttered, feeling decidedly sick at the image.

'You know, I could ask you the same thing,' said Sirius, his voice raising. 'You're the one who hauled me out of there without a word!'

'Yeah, well, what did you expect?' I said angrily, not looking at him.

'I was just talking to her!' Sirius said in an equally angry tone. 'I'm sorry, I didn't know that that wasn't allowed. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have homework to do.'

I watched his retreating back and the door that he slammed shut behind him. Still fuming, I turned around and threw myself onto my bed, pulling the hangings shut.

Damn him.

Damn him and his good looks. Damn him for the fact that his brain didn't turn to mush whenever Lily Evans was around. Damn all of him.

I couldn't believe that Lily would do that. Not after I had told her that this had happened before, and that she was different. How could I have been so wrong? I sighed. Right now, having gotten to spend time with Lily Evans was not a good thing. It only made this so much more painful.

*

During the next few days, I tried to stay as far away from Lily Evans as possible. Sirius was harder to avoid, especially when Remus and Peter kept trying to persuade me to talk to him, and trying to get me into situations where it would become inevitable. They finally succeeded on a Friday afternoon, three days after the incident in the common room. It was the longest period of time I had ever not spoken to Sirius for years.

I was walking down a hallway with Peter, when suddenly, he turned and walked into an empty classroom, dragging me after him. As soon as I got inside, Remus, who was standing right inside the door, performed a full body-bind on me.

Great friends I have, eh? Sirius chatting up the girl I fancy and Remus hexing me. I'd hate to know what Peter would do.

Sirius was sitting at a desk in the other end of the classroom, looking as though he had not slept for days. As Remus propped me up to a standing position, leaning against the wall, he slowly approached me.

'Listen, Jim,' he said, stopping just a few inches in front of me. 'I would never touch Evans. I wouldn't dream of it. I'm a better friend than that, I thought you knew that.' He nodded at Remus, who performed the counter-curse, making me almost tip over as it was lifted.

'Yeah?' I said, grimacing. 'That's not what it looked like to me.'

'For the last time, we were talking!' Sirius hissed. 'Just... please, James, you have to believe that. I would never touch her.' I looked up into his eyes. He looked completely sincere, and also quite a bit hurt. I lowered my gaze again, feeling a bit ashamed. He was right; he was a better friend than that, and I knew it.

'I believe you.'

The next moment, he had me wrapped in a bear-like hug. 'See, I knew you would!' he said happily.

'Yeah, yeah' I mumbled, a small smile tugging on the corners of my mouth. 'Let me go, would you?' He grinned at me and I shook my head. 'You're an idiot, Padfoot.'

'So are you,' he said, letting go and taking a step back.

'Don't push your luck,' I warned, brushing off my robes. 'What were you talking to Evans about, anyway?'

'Afraid I can't tell you,' Sirius said, and I looked up at him, surprised. 'Sorry,' he offered, shrugging.

*

During the following days, I was very confused. I also felt very stupid for believing that Sirius would have anything going on with Lily. I was used to feeling stupid, though, so the confusion won out.

'Hi,' I said, sitting down. It had become routine; we always worked at this table, me sitting on the sofa, she in the armchair across the table.

'Hi,' she said, sounding surprised. 'I didn't think you would show up.'

'Why wouldn't I?' I asked, feigning ignorance.

'I've felt as though you've been avoiding me lately,' she said, looking curiously at me.

'Me? Avoiding you? Why would I do such a thing?' I lied, almost managing not to blush. Maybe I just imagined things, but I could've sworn she blushed a little too.

'No, no, of course not,' she said quickly.

'Alright,' I said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. 'What do we have today?'

'A few things,' she said, handing over a few pieces of parchment. 'Mostly about Hallowe'en. This is a list of different dishes; we have to choose one, and then go down to the kitchens and inform the house elves of our decision.'

I smiled. 'The kitchens?'

'I have no doubt that you're perfectly aware of where the kitchens are situated, Potter,' she smiled at me. 'However, there are a few other things we have to go through first. Here, have a look at this...'

We worked in silence for a while, occasionally asking each other questions. I had never even suspected that there were so many decisions that had to be made for the Hallowe'en feast.

'Right, I'm done,' Lily announced just as I jotted down the final note on my scrap of parchment. 'Ready to go?'

*

'A lot of firsts today for me,' she said as we were walking back towards the common room. 'First time I've ever been in Dumbledore's office, and first time I've ever been in the kitchens.'

'Well, it was the first time I was in either of those places without feeling nervous,' I said, and she laughed a little.

'How come that doesn't surprise me?'

'Ah, but I'm full of surprises,' I said, trying to sound mysterious. She laughed again.

'I'm sure you are.' Then her note turned more serious. 'In fact, I know hardly anything about you.'

'There's not much to say.'

'James Potter, reluctant to talk about himself? Pinch me, for I must be dreaming,' she said, laughing.

I smiled back at her. 'What would you like to know?'

'Well, we've already established that you're an only child,' she said. 'What else? Pure-blood, I suppose?' I nodded. 'Thought so. What are your parents like?'

I looked at her in surprise. This had not been what I had been expecting. 'Er, they're alright, I suppose.' She nodded.

'What do you like doing in your spare time? Except for playing Quidditch, of course.'

'You mean there's anything besides Quidditch?' I asked, feigning shock. 'Just the usual. You know, being with my friends. Sleeping.'

'Hexing people?' Lily offered. I felt my ears go a bit red.

'No. That was a long time ago.'

'I noticed,' she said. 'I'm glad.' The blush spread all over my face. Great.

'What do you really hate?' she asked, ignoring the colour of my face. We were still walking towards the common room; Dumbledore's office was quite some way away from it.

'Tripe,' I replied, trying to control the blush. 'Tripe and the Dark Arts.'

She smiled at me again. 'Interesting combination.'

'Yeah. Enough about me, what about you? What do you really hate?'

'Injustice,' she said immediately. 'Though I can't say I'm all that keen on tripe, myself.'

I smiled at her, thrilled. We were having a real conversation, and she seemed to be enjoying it. I hadn't been this happy since... well, since the last time we had had a real conversation, which had been in Hogsmeade, almost a month ago.

'How about -' I began, but then broke off suddenly, looking around in terror. I had just heard footsteps, footsteps that I knew only too well.

'What?' Lily asked.

'Filch!' I hissed. 'Quick, in here!' I grabbed her around her upper arm and pushed her inside the first place that looked as though you could hide in it that I could see, before I followed. I squinted. It was very dark, but we appeared to be standing underneath a staircase of some kind.

'What are you doing?' she hissed and pulled her arm from my grasp.

'I didn't want Filch to see us!' I hissed back. I think she rolled her eyes, but due to the darkness, I couldn't really tell.

'Just what do you think he'd do about it? We're Head Boy and Girl, on our way back from helping the headmaster!'

I stared blankly at her.

Alright, so I hadn't thought about that.

'Old habit,' I shrugged. She shook her head, although I couldn't tell if it was in annoyance or amusement.

'Where are we, anyway?'

'I'm not sure,' I replied, squinting even more in order to make something out. 'I'm pretty sure we're standing under a staircase, but I have no idea which one.'

She gave me a wry grin and my heart gave a little skip. 'Well, wherever we are, it doesn't appear to have been cleaned for quite some time. You've got dust in your hair.' She leaned over. I stopped breathing. She reached up, put her hand to my hair for a second or two while I silently prayed against all hope that it wasn't too messy, and then drew back again, the small dust-ball clutched between her fingers. 'See?'

I exhaled rather loudly, earning an odd look from Lily. 'You've got some in your hair as well,' I informed her.

Alright, so technically, maybe she didn't have any dust in her hair, but it was just too good of an opportunity to let it pass me by.

I stepped a little closer, feeling my damn heart doing that little skip again. My hand slowly reached towards her head, gently clutched at the dust that wasn't there, and then, for reasons unknown, stroked her hair. Stupid hand.

Now, I'm not exactly the master of self-control, and her hair was oh so soft... so I stroked it again. She looked up at me, raising an eyebrow questioningly and pursing her lips.

Her lips.

Lips, just a few inches away, barely visible through the darkness, looking softer than silk, calling out for me. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but the next second, my head was dipping towards hers while my hand tightened its grip on her hair. I saw her eyes widen, and then my lips touched hers.

My own eyes flew open in shock then. What the hell was I doing? Then, the fact that she hadn't slapped me registered in my head, and shortly thereafter, the fact that she hadn't pulled away. In fact, she was just standing there, her eyes closed, arms hanging limply at her sides, her lips against mine.

I may be an idiot, but I do know some things. Like the fact that just standing there, limply pressing my lips against hers, was not going to impress her. At all. So, I did the only thing I could do at that moment. I kissed her. Very, very gently, sliding my lips over hers ever so slowly.

And then, mother of everything that is holy and sacred, she responded. My eyes nearly flew open in shock once more, but somehow I managed to control myself enough to keep kissing her.

Kissing. I was kissing Lily Evans. Lily Evans was kissing me. I got a rather unpleasant feeling in my stomach at that thought, but then it vanished, because she did something I had never expected. She parted her lips slightly, and her tongue gently touched my lower lip.

Did I mention that I'm not exactly the master of self-control?

The next thing I knew, I had her pinned up against the wall, both of my hands entwined in her hair, kissing her like there was no tomorrow. My tongue was crashing into her mouth almost desperately; like this was the only chance I would ever have to do this. Then I realised what I was doing, and the fact that this probably was my only chance to kiss her like this registered in my head. I pulled away quickly, removing my hands from her hair and taking a step back. I stared at her for a moment, at her huge eyes, messed up hair, reddened cheeks and wet lips.

Oh, shit.

'I'm sorry,' I managed to croak out, before stumbling backwards out of our hiding place and running as fast as I could back to the common room, not caring at all if anyone would see me.

***