When Harry Met Draco... or Maybe The Other Way Around

When Harry Met Draco... or Maybe the Other Way Around...

Mandy: HELLO AGAIN!!! Well, I decided not to call Harry and Draco here this time or otherwise they would have a cow. I mean they're already upset with me. This fic would send them up a wall. They argue that they are not together, but secretly I know. They think that I don't think that I know, but I know that they know. Muahahaha. Anyways, I'm going to go on with this fic and they'll just have to find out about it on their own. I'm putting the first day that they met in my own twisted way. Holy *#&$ this is going to be fun. Hey!! Where'd the *#^& come from?! Oh well. Least Harry and Draco aren't here to reprimand me. BTW, a lot of this stuff can be interpreted in different ways...if you know what I mean....ON WITH THE FIC!! ::whispers going on in the closet in the room that Mandy can't hear because she's half-deaf::

Harry: ::whispers:: I'm glad you found this closet before she came her.

Draco: She thinks we're not here! Hahaha! What an idiot!

Harry: Don't talk too loud or she might hear us.

Draco: Right. Well let's see what she has for us this time....

Once upon a time, long ago... well actually it wasn't that long ago. It might have been. I don't know. I just know that it happened... in some world... sometime... maybe. Anyways, Draco was maybe fourteen, maybe fifteen. Ah maybe fifteen. Yeah fifteen sounds good. Anyways as he just walked outside he went "WEEEEEEEEEE!!!" and fell to the ground. His friends stood over him, bewildered about his actions. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Haven't you ever seen an earthquake?!" Draco asked.

"What are you talking about?" Crabbe said.

"Good God, I fear I don't know!" Draco exclaimed. Suddenly Pansy ran up to Draco and gave him a hug as he stood up.

"::cough, cough:: WHORE ::cough, cough::" Goyle said.

"Oh, what's the matter with you? Need a soothing spell?" Pansy said compassionately.

"You try waaaaayyyyy too hard, Pansy," Crabbe said.

"What are you talking about? Draco, what is he talking about? Please help me!" Pansy pleaded. Draco rolled his eyes as he looked at the girl that was overly obsessed about him (NOT ME!!!).

"I don't know what he's talking about, Pansy," Draco replied monotonously. He looked straight at the sky as he could tell what Pansy was doing. "And could you please get your hand away from my ass?"

"Why, Draco, I don't know what you're talking about," Pansy said innocently as she smiled. Crabbe walked behind them and scanned for Pansy's hand.

"Pansy," Crabbe concluded. "Your hand is on Draco's ass."

"SEE?!" Draco argued. Pansy took her hand back and circled around Draco, as if examining him for a military inspection. "And STOP LOOKING AT MY VOLUPTUOUS ASS!! YOU'RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE!!" Draco screamed. Then other people started to show up and look at what Pansy was looking at.

"I don't know, Draco. It's a nice sight for me," one girl, hopefully, said. Draco's face turned pink with embarrassment.

"I'm going to have to agree," another said. Now steam was coming out of his ears from the anger and embarrassment.

"STOP LOOKING AT MY VOLUPTUOUS ASS!! THAT'S MY ASS, DAMNIT!!" After he got tired of everyone looking at his ass and not heeding his warnings, he ran away, and everyone ran after him. He finally ran down a secret hall he knew about and lost them. But as he looked back to see if anyone was following him he collided into another body that was in there too. He flew back and landed hard on the ground. His head hurt from the collision with whatever it was. As he looked up to the person, he yelled, "GOD DAMNIT!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE BLOODY-" Draco stopped in mid-speech as he saw who he had collided with. "Holy shit, you're Harry Potter!" he exclaimed as he saw the dark-haired boy with the lightening-bolt scar on his forehead. He stood up as Harry got off of the ground and brushed himself off.

"That I am," Harry said.

"Sorry about that," Draco explained.

"No, no worries. I wasn't watching where I was going. But by the looks of the way you were running, I probably should have chosen the other way to get lost," Harry said.

"No, there's nothing over there but horny people who like to look at your ass," Draco explained. Harry gave him a raised eyebrow. "Don't ask."

"Wasn't even thinking of it," Harry noted. "Well, you know my name. What about you?"

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy," he said, James Bond-ly as he held out his hand to shake. Harry shook. "Well, I am for certain I am not going back there. So follow me and I'll-"

"THERE HE IS!!!" Pansy shouted down the hall and ran towards him.

"Oh, shit..." Draco cursed.

"What the fuck?!" Harry asked as he raised an eyebrow at the oncoming crowd. He tilted his head in confusion. "Are those the people-"

"Notimetoexplaingottogonow!" Draco rushed and grabbed Harry's hand as he ran off in the other direction. They ran down the dark hall as Draco continually looked back to see if the crowd was behind him. They turned a corner and saw a cracked-open door. "Over there!" Draco pointed and Harry followed. They ran into the small room and locked the door; but as Draco looked into Harry's eyes and as Harry fell into his, they started to go at it right then in that closet.

Okay, you're right. That didn't happen. That only happened in my little fantasy world that I love so much. ^_______^ . Anyways, what really happened was this:

Okay so Harry and Draco are running down the dark hall to save Draco from total humiliation from his sweet ass. But Draco took a secret passageway that only he knew about which ended them on a dark-marbled hall that held in a cage a phoenix.

"Bloody hell! That's a phoenix!" Harry exclaimed.

"Your point is what?" Draco asked. He went down here all the time and saw the bird all the time. He did not see why Harry was so fascinated.

"It's a bloody PHOENIX!" Harry cried out.

"It's not that big of a deal," Draco explained. "Watch." Draco walked to the bird and started to baby-talk to it. "Polly want a cracker? Huh? Polly want a cracker?" Draco said.

The phoenix replied, "Polly wants yo' momma's sweet ass!" Draco was taken aback as he stared at the bird that had just talked.

"Holy shit! The phoenix just talked!" Harry said amazed as he pointed to the bird.

"YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA LIKE THAT!!" Draco argued.

"Oh, you kiddin', boy? I just saw yo' momma last night oooooooohhh BUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNN!!!" the phoenix argued back.

"Draco, back away from the bird...." Harry said.

"I'll use your legs for toothpicks, bitch!" Draco yelled.

"Oh my God, I'm shaking!" the bird replied. Harry grabbed Draco around the waist and pulled him away from the bird.

"Yeah, I'll be back for you, you size-challenged parakeet!" Draco threatened as he waved his fists at the bird. Harry threw Draco over his shoulder to keep his eyeballs from getting plucked out. Draco continued to threaten the bird and wave his fists at it until the bird was out of ear-shot. "What the hell are you doing?!" Draco said as he realized where he was.

"I didn't want that stupid bird picking your eyes out," Harry said.

"I would have kicked his-"

"Anyways, show me out of here. I'm beyond lost."

"Right. This way," Draco pointed and they headed down the dark-marbled hall as their steps echoed throughout it while Harry was still carrying him on his shoulder. "And would you mind putting ME DOWN?!"

"Yes, yes I do as a matter of fact," Harry replied and smiled at the blonde thrown over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

"PUT ME DOWN!! THIS IS NOT DIGNIFIED!!" Draco shouted as he started to beat Harry's back.

"Oh, shut up," Harry replied.

"Naaaaaahhhhh!! This isn't fair!" Draco whined.

"Want some cheese to go with that wine?" Harry sarcastically suggested.

**********************

It was a while after they talked a lot and walking down the endless hall, they finally found a door. There had not been one for a while since they had seen a door. In fact, it had been a really long while since they saw a door. Actually, it was a really really long time- okay, I'll stop.

Anyways, Harry had put Draco down after threatening to curse him with a very bad spell. Harry may have been new to the whole Wizarding thing, but he wasn't stupid. He put Draco down and let him walk on his own two feet. "Well this is one way out. The next door's not for a long time. I forgot where this leads to but we'll see in a little bit," Draco stated. Suddenly, a gigantic draft came through the hall and all the torches in the hall went out. They could barely see what was a foot in front of them, let alone what was at their feet. Harry fumbled about for Draco to lead him to the door. But as Harry started to walk, he tripped over a giant mutant rat that was squirming throughout the hall. Hey, it was a huge rat, alright? It was as big as a pineapple and weighed as much as a small dog!

Anyways, Harry tripped over the rat and ran into Draco, who ran into the old wooden door. Due to the hinges being as rusty as they were, the door collapsed and Harry and Draco landed into a completely different room. Harry and Draco were lying in a very certain position on the floor. But as Draco looked to his sides, he saw that the tile looked awfully familiar. Then it came to him: he was in the Grand Hall. He looked to his side to discover a number of students giving him strange looks with piles of food in front of them. The room was in total silence as the people looked at them. Then some started to snicker. Then the snickers turned to giggles. Then the giggles turned into full-fledged laughter. Draco finally realized what was so funny and pushed Harry roughly off of him as he stood up. Then two flaming red haired twins belonging in Gryffindor put up a sign with their wands that said:

Potter and Malfoy sitting in a tree,

S-H-A

But then the letters that were put up were crossed out, the red-head twins noticing that their letters of choice did not fit into the rhyme. They looked to one another, then had the most mischievous smile anyone could come up with. They put up the new letters which spelled out:

Potter and Malfoy sitting in a tree,

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

They put it up for the whole school to see, which made everyone laugh even harder.

"SORRY EVERYONE!! WE LOST A FEW LETTERS!!" one of the twins shouted.

Suddenly, Crabbe and Goyle confronted Draco. "You aren't... are you?" Goyle asked shakily to Draco.

"Oh my fucking God no!!!" Draco shouted in embarrassment.

"WOO HOO!! SHAKE IT TO LEFT!! SHAKE IT TO THE RIGHT!!" somebody cheered.

"COME ON!! YOU KNOW WHAT EACH OF YOU LIKE!!" another joined in.

"WOOOOOOO!!! TURN HIM ON!!" everyone chorused. How they knew that song and on queue I don't know.

Harry's face turned beet red and it looked as though he might have had a few grey hairs in his messy raven-hair. Malfoy was red with embarrassment and anger at the crowd. "Hey, I didn't know you went so fast, Draco. When can I fit in?" Pansy went up to him and suggested. He exploded from all the embarrassment. He wasn't even thinking when he said it....

"YOU ARE A STUPID WHORE!! YOU CAN GO FAST ON YOUR OWN BLOODY TIME!! I WOULD RATHER HAVE A GO WITH POTTER THAN YOU, PARKINSON ANY DAY!!!" That only made matters worse. Now some of the faculty were smiling and trying to hide their snickers. After that, he gave up and ran away. Harry went with him, because he was new and did feel like being further humiliated. Draco ran down to the end of the hall and collapsed on the floor. His face was still red, either from the run, embarrassment, or the fact that Harry was really hot right now as he saw his face. Draco looked to Harry with a mischievous gleam in his eye. Harry didn't see that Draco was on the verge of pouncing on him and sat down beside him, which was a big mistake. "God, talk about a grand entrance for 'The Great Harry Potter'." Harry laughed.

"Oh, no one could make that kind of entrance ever again," Harry responded. Draco looked at him with the same devilishness that was in him. Harry glanced at him. Then Harry did a double-take. Harry raised his eyebrows. "Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Draco started to laugh evilly.

"If what you're thinking requires a private room, some binding spells, and an
American cowboy hat, than yes," Draco replied. He smiled with the little devil that was inside of him, itching to get whatever he could get of The Great Harry Potter. Harry got up from the wall and stood in front of Draco. "So... are you up for it?"

"Only if you can get your lazy ass off the floor and catch me!!" Harry replied and started to run.

"Biiiiiggg mistake, Potter!" Draco floored Harry in less than seven seconds. "Looks like I win...." Draco turned Harry on his back and looked into his eyes. He could not hold himself back any longer. They started going at it in the middle of the hall, when someone came around the corner, screamed bloody murder, and ran away.

"I need you to do something," Harry said between kisses.

"Anything," Draco replied.

"Get us out of here before we get arrested."

"Arrested? Here we get notified by the Ministry."

"Either way, get us out of here."

"With great pleasure," Draco replied seductively and Apparated themselves out of the hall to someplace nobody knows. Hey, I don't even know! That's left to your imagination. I provided enough.

Oh, and the reason they used to hate each other was because Harry had trouble sitting the day after, and he got mad at Draco for it, because he didn't tell him that was going to happen. Draco thought Harry was ungrateful and they left it at that. So... there you go.

Mandy: YAY!! Well, they'll figure this out on their own.

Draco: ::pops out of the closet:: WTF?!?!

Harry: SERIOUSLY!! IT'S BAD YOU DIDN'T NOTIFY US BUT TO PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT?!?!?

Draco: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MIND OF YOURS?!?! YOU NEED TO BE IN PSYCHIATRIC CARE!!!

Mandy: Actually, people there are funny as hell. I wouldn't mind. Just don't put me with any people who I think are psychopaths, then I'll be fine.

Harry: GOOD! WE'LL PUT YOU IN RIGHT NOW!!

Mandy: Nah, I don't feel like it. I'd rather stay here and annoy you two. It's so much more fun.... Wait...

Draco: What?

Mandy: You said 'we'. ::points to Harry suspiciously::

Harry: So?

Mandy: ::laughs manically::

Draco: That doesn't mean anything, you stupid idiot! It meant that he was going to drag me along, even though I would have hexed him to his Grandmum's place.

Harry: Would not!

Draco: Would to!

Harry: Would not!

Draco: Would to!

Harry: Would not!!

Mandy: Children, children! Calm! Just because I discovered you two-

Harry and Draco: HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU?!? WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!!!

Mandy: Geez, you two are really good at acting!

Draco: You're too stupid to see the truth.

Mandy: Oh, I know the truth, you just don't want me to know.

Draco: Forget you! I'm out of here! ::Draco leaves::

Mandy: ::whispers to Harry:: So... are you?

Harry: Not no, but HELL NO!!! ::Harry walks out::

Mandy: Poor children. So naïve.