Tale of Two Wars

Tale of Two Wars

The First War

1990 - The year when the war against Voldemort was at a climax. Remus Lupin was not exactly a youth, but nonetheless considered among the younger ones who took part in the fight against evil. And the one thing on Remus' mind was Severus Snape.

Severus was a Death Eater, and one not by force, but by choice. But the raging war showed that Voldemort was no champion for the pureblood but a mindless killer who wants domination. And just a month ago, while Voldemort had his mind on other things, Severus decided to turn to the Light, joining Dumbledore and his allies as a spy.

It was only then did Remus accept the relationship that Severus had offered ever since he was 15. Though they had hardly a month to be together, with the work the needed to do, their love was deep and strong. But war gives no time for love, and Severus had a mission to complete.

The concept was simple - Severus had to go back to Voldemort and make a rough list of the people, and creatures, on Voldemort's side. But though the planning is easy, the actual carrying out was highly dangerous. Voldemort had been suspecting Severus' loyalty for a week now, and a slight slip will cost Severus' life. Severus is willing to take the chance, for with this list, Dumbledore will find it very much easier to beat the enemy. But the price to pay was high, for Severus may well die without getting the information back, and the enemy will strengthen his defenses even more. Dumbledore has asked Remus to help Severus make his choice.

And this lands Remus in a wonderful dilemma that he knew would come from the minute Severus switched sides.

Remus

"Remy... You needn't worry about me. I'll be fine, really. Just a matter of remembering to clear my mind. You know what a good Occlumens I am..." The silky soft voice, the onyx black eyes, both pleading to be allowed this chance to prove... But the danger...

"Sev, it is no longer like last time... He is fully on guard now that the time is drawing near..." It's too dangerous... Far too dangerous...

"But, Remy... You must trust me! You know I can do this! You know that very well! Just let me go!" Trust... Of course I trust you. But I cannot trust fate... Or destiny...

"I cannot. The price is too high to pay. Your life is not worth a silly list." Cannot... Must not... Will not...

"REMY! It is NOT a silly list! It is important!" Important... But not as important as you...

"I know... But -"

"Remy... For our sake, for the Potters' sake, for Dumbledore and everyone else's sake. LET ME GO!" Our sake? But wouldn't it be better for us if we just stayed here as it is? And we can just ignore everything else...

"I canno - I... I... But..." Think! Think of something! He mustn't go! He mustn't! He mustn't...

"Remy, please... For us." He kneels on the floor, hands on my lap, eyes twinkling with unshed tears. Us. Me and Severus. The final straw. I close my eyes, knowing very well that I am giving in. I have to. There is no way I can refuse...

"I will not let you go. Unless you promise..." A condition. One that is so pointless, I know not why I am making it. But nonetheless...

"Promise what? As long as it is within my means, I will definitely do it! Just name it!" Anything? Well... Then take me with you...

"You will not expose yourself no matter what happens. Even if Dumbledore or I am captured, you must remain acting, do your job, and leave. You will not try to help, even if it is just something so small it is practically negligible. You will do no such thing. Understood?" Hopefully, he will be safe...

"I..." He drops his head, thinking up an excuse, or some warped reasoning. "I will not get hurt -"

"That is for me to decide. Do you promise not to interfere, or do you choose to not go?" I must be firm. On this, I will not give in.

"Remy..." He tries. Again. I shake my head firmly. "I... I promise."

I sigh. It is done. Sev gets up and gives me a kiss. Softly, tenderly... I respond with equal lightness. And hold him tight, an embrace which will hopefully last for awhile.

Severus

The kiss was sweet. Remy tastes like chocolate. Probably eating to calm himself and help him think. He always does that whenever he is vexed.

And then I feel something wet.

I blink in surprise, but am still locked in the kiss. And I see his tears. Remy is crying. The second time I see Remy shed his tears. And I know that this is not good.

The first was the day after the Shrieking Shack incident. I had planned to sneak up on the Marauders and curse them into oblivion for the prank they played on me. But Remus had seen me coming. And stupidly, he approached me.

"Severus! Severus! I need to speak to you!"

"Aren't you already doing that?"

"I mean, in private."

"What is so private about a conversation between enemies? Or is it that you are afraid I will let out your secret? About WHAT you are?"

"Severus, I didn't mean that...I wanted to apologize..."

"All the more we should do it here! So that everyone can see that you Marauders are at fault and I am the victim!"

"I - Fine! Listen carefully! I, Remus Lupin, sincerely apologize for what I did yesterday. I was at fault for harming you and almost taking your life. I promise I will not repeat any of the mistakes I had made ever again. Are you happy now?"

"Happy? Why should I be happy about an ANIMAL apologizing to me? It is not as if animals had any morals and keep to their promises..."

"You -"

Remus had turned away and ran all the way back to the Gryffindor Common Room. But not before I saw his tears.

And now, he is crying again. I break this kiss.

"Remy? Remy? Remus!" I lift up his head, which had automatically drooped down in hopes of hiding the fact that he was crying from me. He eyes refused to meet mine, turning away.

The fireplace bursts into flames, blue twinkling eyes peering out at us. "Have you two come to a decision?"

"Yes. I am going."

Dumbledore does not look a least bit surprised. "You will have 10 minutes to prepare. I will be waiting at the gate." He disappears. The green flames die down into nothingness.

"Go away." Remus' voice sounded strained, but the words were curt.

I look at his face. His features were normally very smooth, and mouth always smiling. Now he wears a frown and he looked weary, and alarmingly old. I reach out for his hand. "Remy..."

"Go. Before I change my mind." He does not swat my hand away, however. I gather up whatever courage I have, and being in Slytherin and not Gryffindor meant I did not have much.

"I have to do this. I have to go. But I can't just leave like this. Not with you crying." I gather him in my arms, but he does not respond. "Please, don't cry for my sake. Don't let me go knowing you are in sorrow. Please. Don't be sad."

"How can you expect me to not be sad?" He is very weak. He leans against me and takes a deep breath. "What do you want me to do? Rejoice?"

"No. Trust me. Believe in me. I want you to wait for me, wait for my return. I will return. Please, be there for me. My love will be with you, never leaving. I will be back."

He looks at me, doe-eyed and so lovely. I suddenly feel an urge to stay. But I have to go. I untangle myself and go to my room, packing whatever I need.

"Why are you always so happy?"

"Because I am hopeful, Sev."

"Hopeful of what? Of everyone dying and the world coming to an end?"

"No. I am hopeful, that one day all will be peaceful. That there will be no more wars. And we shall hold hands, strolling on a grass plain...Listening to the song of birds..."

"Stupid, romantic Remy."

"Stupid, unromantic Sev."

Will that ever happen? I wonder... I exit the house, never looking back... Not wanting my reserve to crumble and tears to fall... Dumbledore hands me the portkey and I hold it... One more minute... I finally look at Remus...

"I love you."

The Second War

2007 - Voldemort is finally defeated, once and for all. As expected, Harry killed him with a single Killing Curse, and without his horcruxes, Tom Marvolo Riddle is no more. With Voldemort's defeat came celebrations, parties, and great rejoicing. But no war is without its casualties.

On the whole, only three people died. Sirius Black, for his rash decision to rush to the Department of Mysteries; Albus Dumbledore, who had to die so as to let Voldemort fully trust Severus thus leading to Harry gaining entrance to Voldemort's secret lair; and Percy Weasley, who decidedly sacrificed himself for his parents' life, and died by the Avada Kadavra from Peter Pettigrew. But there were many injured, and some were in critical condition.

Thankfully, the Golden Trio, Harry and his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, managed to survive roughly unscathed. Of all the Hogwarts students, only Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy got badly injured. Ginny had the bones in her hand removed, while Draco suffered both legs being broken when Voldemort discovered he and his parents changed sides. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy both had rounds of Cruciatus, but survived. Many others had minor hurts and some aches.

Unfortunately, all Order members sustained some serious injury in one way or another, with its new leader, Minerva McGonagall, coughing out blood for the last few hours. She is in critical condition, as is Kingsley Shacklebolt and, sadly, Remus Lupin.

Remus had been fighting Fenrir Greyback, another werewolf, and had been bitten while Greyback was wearing silver braces. He managed to kill Greyback, but only realised that the bite had been deep too late. The silver poisoned his bloodstream and he passed out soon after. Severus found him an hour later, and brought him to St. Mungos as fast as his legs could carry him. He could not apparate for apparating someone seriously injured will only aggravate the injury. But it did take him a long time to get there from the deep forests near Voldemort's lair and by the time he reached, the war was over. But not his troubles.

Severus

The sunset had never looked so red, so bloodied before. Perhaps it was the blood of the innocent ones, painting the sky as a reminder to all who commit evil, that one can never escape one's guilt. A heartless person may not care, but I do care, for I have a heart. A heart that is elated at the news of victory, a heart that is grieved at the loss of life. And a heart that is shattering, right now, for the one I love.

The birds return to their nests, their young welcome their homecoming. Likewise the many students from Slytherin greeted me, most who were comforted by my appearance once again. Most were fearful that I had turned to the Dark Lord, abandoning them to their own fates. But all were glad to see that I am back, that I had triumph over all obstacles and was back to be with them. And the most delighted student, the most pleased with my performance, would be Draco Malfoy.

Dear Draco. I had gone to visit him earlier on and was pleasantly surprised that he was in such good spirits despite his injuries. Lucius and Narcissa were both keeping watch over him, and for once, he said, he felt like he was fully loved by all that he loved. He smiled, and I was glad I had been there. His smile was delightfully radiant, and uncommonly rare. The last time it appeared was when he was seven, and I gave him a boomslang as his birthday present. But at least this smile was for a more worthwhile cause.

And then I returned to this room, to keep watch over my love. My Remus. Lying on the hospital bed, he looked so fragile, so helpless. I desperately wanted to cuddle him, comfort him, hold him in my arms. But he was covered with tubes, transporting food and drink into his body. He can no longer move his mouth. And though he is awake most of the time, he hardly responds. Not that he does not want to. His amber eyes tell all.

It tells of his pain and suffering. It tells of his fear of death and separation. It tells of his love for me.

And as his breathing weakens with each passing minute, I know from his eyes, his tender loving eyes, that he is saying goodbye.

Remus

Severus, you must eat. You must rest. You must sleep. How I long to tell him that, to let him know that I am all right. To let him know I will not go. Not yet.

Ever since he stepped in an hour ago, all he has been doing is sitting in the armchair beside me, stroking my hand, and watching me. Watching me endlessly with the deep onyx eyes of his. It really felt like an eternity. And I wished it were.

Though I could not reply, Sev still speaks to me. He entered speaking loudly of how happy he was to see his Slytherins again. He spoke of Draco smiling and being loved. And now he whispers of how he wished I would get well. I want to tell him this. It is only a wish.

But fortunately I cannot talk, for I know if I told him that his heart will probably break. In fact, it might be already shattered. And I did not want it to be so. I want mend it, bit by bit, until it was whole again. And then we would be together as one, for as I mended his heart, I would link it with mine. But I have no such luck.

It may not seem so, but really, Sev was always the optimist. He would hope even when others despaired. I was the opposite, the eternal pessimist, seeing the black patch when around it was sunlight. But even as I lost hope, Sev becomes ever more optimistic. I used to say that as long as I had Sev, I would be hopeful as he had enough for the both of us.

And then, I see it. His eyes were glistening in the red glow of the sun. And I knew. Sev had no more hope left. Time was running out.

His hand held on firmly to mine. He refused to let go still. How strong he is, I can never imagine. Sev, the strong one. The hopeful one. And now without hope. I wonder how long his strength will hold.

Forever, perhaps. Or at least till I die. Not long now.

Tears blur my vision. But I do not need to see. Images of Sev are ingrained into my head. Sev laughing, Sev angry, Sev hurt, Sev playful, Sev sulking... And Sev crying. Like now.

And suddenly I can speak. I forced my mouth to open and close, using up every ounce of strength I have.

"Stop... Tears... No... Sad..."

"Remy! Remy, you can speak! Are you feeling better?" His eyes, his beautiful mesmerizing eyes. Tear-filled and glistening eyes. Onyx eyes.

"Trust... Wait... Forever... Time..."

"Remy! What do you mean? Forever? Time?" Frustrated, fearful... So beautiful... Onyx...

"Time... Up... Up..."

"Up? Times up? No... No... Hold on Remy..." Onyx pools... Pools... Water... Lake...

"Grassland..."

"No... Not the grassland... Don't go... Don't leave me..." Holding hands... Strolling along... Peace... And comfort...

"Birds..."

"Remy... Remy, listen to me... Don't let go... Whatever you do, don't let go... Don't leave me..." Holding my hand... Holding on tight... Birds singing... Chirping... So pretty...

"Love..." So pretty... Peaceful... No more war... No more troubles... No more... Onyx pools... Onyx... Black... Black... Darkness... Nothingness...

"I love you..."