Zigzag

Zigzag

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Chapter 12

*

"If I ever get my hands at the Author, she's going to be so dead," muttered Remy, eyeing the scene in front of him. The Japanese brothers were currently fighting very loudly, their respective lovers trying to hold them back, exchanging desperate glances. "Just what we need: Some guys fighting in a language none of us speaks."

"Well, it hardly is their fault if the Author wants to keep them here, so you can't really blame them," Harry Lupin pointed out, casting a calm glance at the fighting foreigners. "It does get boring after a moment, though."

Just after he'd said that, however, a strong breeze flew through the hall. When it was gone, the Japanese men had also disappeared. There wasn't a single trace left of them all; it was like they had truly been wiped off with the wind.

"They -- they just disappeared!" exclaimed Father Harry, his eyes wide. "Why'd that happen?"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Cane Lucius dryly. "The Author thought they weren't funny enough so she made them disappear. Or she just got tired of dealing with too many people at the same time. Either way."

Now, Brave Severus and those from his universe swayed at an update. As they recovered, the Slytherin shot the others furious glares. The said others, however, merely smirked.

"Severus here isn't too pleased," Mated Remus told with a broad grin. "He was just re-Sorted into Gryffindor."

The mute boy started to wave his hands angrily. Nobody could understand what he was trying to say, though, so he then just folded his arms and pouted, continuing to glare at them.

"Like that was so bad," snapped Blind Severus. "At least he belongs there now. I, however, have to be on all classes with the Gryffindors -- and I'm still a Slytherin! That is a lot worse, if you ask me!"

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, not that Blind Severus could see that. "Why are you so grumpy?" he asked. "It's not like your life was too difficult -- well, aside from some sight problems, of course."

"Not too difficult?" repeated the young Slytherin hotly. "You try being pregnant and hiding it from your boyfriend!"

"...What?" asked Remus Pettigrew. "Did you just say that you are pregnant? With James's child?"

"Well, who else's could it be?" asked Blind Severus irritably. "I don't cheat on my lovers."

"Well, neither do I!" replied his friend sharply. "So do not even try implying it!" Then, however, his anger turned into a broad grin. "At least this explains why you've been so sleepy lately!" he exclaimed then.

"Being pregnant causes a lot of stress at you," Remus Potter said calmly. "So I do think it is indeed because of his pregnancy." At this, he placed a hand on his own slightly rounded stomach, a sad expression on his face.

Sirius Malfoy looked interested. "So is that why you've been such an ass at times, eh?" he asked from his friend.

This, however, proved to be a bad move. Almost all pregnant people turned from relatively calm to downright pissed at the same time. Then, after Remus Potter, who was nearest, had slapped Sirius Malfoy, they all strode out of the room, Sirius Lionsnake taking Blind Severus with him. For a moment, those left behind just stared after them.

Then Siri started to snicker. After a moment almost everybody was laughing. "Well," said Sirius Malfoy smugly, although his cheek was still stinging, "this certainly proves that I was right..."

*

Sirius Lionsnake glanced around, his eyes meeting a face after another, the expression ranging from calmness to anger. "I announce the first meeting of Pregnant People United to have begun," he said with perfect seriousness. "Everybody else is just making fun of us behind our backs. Therefore, we need to support each other! Do you agree?"

"Hell yes," muttered Severus Baby-Black. "And not only is everybody irritating, but the Author obviously hates me!" He folded his far too thin arms, eyeing challengingly everybody who dared to look at them for longer than a moment. The contrast between his slightly round stomach and the awful thinness of the rest of his body was startling.

"I don't believe she hates anybody," Remus Black said softly. "If she hated you, would she have given you a child?"

The Slytherin's expression immediately softened, and he placed a hand on his stomach and the bulge that was barely there. "Don't be so sure about that," he muttered. "I will not be convinced until this child has been born safely."

"That's a rather pessimistic view," Severus Malfoy said. "If she hated you, wouldn't she hate all us Severuses?"

His anorexic replica opened his mouth to speak. However, he never got the chance. At that moment, Remus Black swayed slightly. He then announced, "Guess what? Severus is pregnant, too!"

"Well, he certainly got what he deserves," Blind Severus said, grinning a bit. "We warned him that complaining about all his replicas would pay back at him, but did he listen to us? No. And now he's got just what he asked for!"

*

"I wonder what they're doing in there," muttered Sirius Malfoy, rubbing his still stinging cheek. "They've been inside that room forever. No doubt they're making up some plan to kill us all, or something like that."

"Well, if they do that," Harry Lovegood commented dryly, "at least we know who to blame." Then he, like several others, glared sharply at the teenager, making him wince. Seeing several older yourselves glare at you is definitely not fun.

"Hey!" exclaimed Sirius Malfoy in protest. "It's not like I did it on purpose! I didn't know they'd react that way."

"Well, this is the lesson number one on life for you, then," said Remus Malfoy calmly. "Never enrage a pregnant person."

Suddenly, the two Lionsnakes present both froze. Then Severus Lionsnake fell limply forward only to be stopped by his husband's embrace. A moment later the nearby door was banged open and their three other husbands arrived in hurry.

Quick explanations from the very startled Lionsnakes told the others that Severus had caught a rare disease, one that was unknown to most of their worlds. After hearing this, Father Remus immediately took him into the room where Severus Baby-Shacklebolt was residing. Remus and Lucius Lionsnake in their own universe were unable to go near their husband in fear of catching the disease. However, they figured that as their actions in this reality didn't affect their other selves in their own universes, they couldn't get ill unless their real selves did. Therefore, there was no need to restrict anybody from going near him, even if it would have been impossible in their reality.

However, before anybody had even got over their shock about this, it was Father Harry and Remus Potter's turn. As the others gave them questioning glances, Father Harry sighed. "Snape just visited his daughter's grave," he said.

"Oh." Wheelchair Sirius -- who no more was in a wheelchair, but didn't have a better name -- bit his lip, glancing at Cane Lucius. His friend simply sighed, lowering his eyes to the floor. Remus Malfoy placed a hand on his arm, looking sad.

The others casted them curious looks, no doubt wondering whether they had lost children, too. However, just then Severus Snape -- who a couple of moments before had announced that he was pregnant, too -- swayed a bit. For a moment, he looked different somehow -- and then, he vanished. The others stared at where he had been.

"Ah, isn't this good," said Dumbledore then, happy as ever. "Their story has come to its end, too. And now we can finally have a better name for Wheelchair Sirius -- he can be Sirius Black from now on."

"Oh, what a relief," the mentioned man muttered under his breath. Right after that, however, he swayed slightly, as did his friends. As they got over the update, all looked much happier -- well, except for Cane Lucius.

"I swear," the blond muttered, "if he dares to try anything funny with my daughter, I will kill you. I swear that."

"Now, calm down, Lucius," Severus Black laughed. "Malcolm's a good boy. Not that anybody would be good enough for Olivia as far as you're concerned, but..." As everybody else looked confused, he turned to explain. "Lucius just found out that my dear nephew Malcolm is dating with his precious daughter. So, of course, he wants to kill the boy."

"If I'm not entirely mistaken, you promised to do the same if he ever mistreats Olivia," Remus Malfoy remarked, raising an eyebrow. "Sirius and I promised that, too -- not to mention Harry, Draco, and even Christopher."

"Who's Christopher?" asked Siri curiously. "Is he another friend of yours?"

"Well, yes," the eldest werewolf admitted. "Actually he was Lucius's friend first, but he's quickly becoming a part of the extended family. The thing that makes him special, though, is the fact that he's a Muggle."

Now, everybody's eyes flew wide. "Lucius Malfoy making friends with a Muggle?" asked Batty. "No way!"

"That was quite accurately my initial reaction, too," Sirius Black said cheerfully. "It is true, though. And as if that wasn't enough, Severus's second sister, Lilian, is seemingly pretty determined to make him an official part of the family."

"Well, that's enough of a proof for me," muttered Confused Harry. "Your universe is just plain insane."

"Hey, don't blame us, blame the Author," chuckled Sirius Black. "We're just her helpless puppets."

"And that's the only reason why you married me, I'm sure," Severus Black said with deceiving calmness.

"Exactly! Er, I mean --" Suddenly the eldest Sirius paled, staring at his husband, who was looking very dangerous. Then, he decided that it would be wisest to turn around and run like he'd never done before.

Confused Harry simply shrugged as he watched Severus Black chasing his husband. "I rest my case," he muttered.

The attention turned away from them, however, as Vampire Lucius swayed a bit. As everybody then looked at him, he said, "Nothing important happened. I talked with Black, we bickered, that was about it."

Right after this Father Harry and his universe got updated, too. He smiled a bit, then drew his husband into a warm embrace. "Everybody knows about Remus's pregnancy now," he told those around. "However, to keep him and the child safe, the Order was told that the baby is Sirius's. You know, lengthened werewolf pregnancies and other lies like that."

"Well, isn't this nice," muttered Severus Snape-Black. "Some of us seem to be updated quite more frequently than the others." As soon as he'd said that, however, he swayed slightly. For a moment, he looked shocked -- probably more about the fact that he'd been updated than about whatever had happened. Then he said, "Oh, well... We got forward a few days. That is definitely an improvement, considering that a few hours has been the best we've done this far."

"Well, what happened?" asked several people at the same time. They had all noticed that his universe was one of the most tragic ones, and thus also rather interesting. At least they noticed that somebody else was having a worse life than they did. So, Severus Snape-Black answered their questions, every now and then exchanging glances with Remus Lupin, who was currently busy trying to get little Harry Pettigrew fall asleep in his arms.

Not all were interested in this, however. Remus Malfoy noticed as Remia -- who, like all pregnant people, had left their "conference room" after the incident with the Lionsnakes -- started to shy away from the crowd that included most of the replicas. Noticing that she looked rather upset, he followed her as she walked towards the Room of Requirements.

"What's wrong, Remia?" he asked quietly as she finally stopped in the Hall of Present -- like they'd decided to call it -- watching wistfully the bubble of her own world. "I noticed that you are pretty upset."

The younger female "clone" of him sighed, turning around to look at him. "I'm so lonely," she whined, pouting slightly. "I'm the only female around here, for Merlin's sake! True, many of the others are pregnant, but they still can't understand me. They're all men. Can you imagine how irritating that is?"

"Well, I won't lie and say that I can completely understand your situation," Remus Malfoy said with a small smile, "but I guess I can somehow figure what it must feel like. I was lonely for many years, after all."

"But you're no more lonely," the girl replied, pouting. "You have your husband and best friend and whatnot here!"

"And you have your boyfriend and friends," the werewolf reminded her calmly. "Besides, even though I am indeed glad that I have Lucius and my friends here with me, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still miss Olivia, too. Random flashes of what have happened to her are simply not the same thing as having her here all the time."

"Well, I wish she was here, too," Remia muttered. "At least then I'd have somebody to talk to!"

As soon as these words had left her mouth, there was an odd tingling feeling in the air, one that passed through them both. The next moment a human form came to be from thin air, dropping down to the floor in front of them. For a moment they both just stared at the newcomer, their eyes wide with shock and surprise.

"Well, this at least proves something," the wizard then sighed with a small smile, kneeling down next to his unconscious daughter. "The Author indeed is watching us." Drawing his wand, he pointed it at her and whispered, "Enervate."

*

"But how can she be here?" asked Laugher for the hundredth time. "Nobody has summoned her, right?"

"But the Author quite obviously sent me here," replied Olivia. "Would it be beyond your brain capacity to stop talking about me like I wasn't present?" The girl gave the clone of her godfather a sharp glare.

"Well, she's a Malfoy all right," muttered Remus Pettigrew. "At least there's no doubt about that."

"Hey!" exclaimed most of the Luciuses simultaneously, glaring at the offending teenager. This same reaction was also given by Sirius Malfoy. Remus Malfoy, however, simply smiled in slight amusement at this.

"Oh, Olivia is a Malfoy indeed," he said affectionately. "And she won't let anybody forget that."

"Just pray you will never have to face her in PMS," muttered Cane Lucius quietly.

However, it wasn't too quietly to be heard. This soon became obvious as Olivia shot her father a glare, too, Remia soon joining this silent protest. Then the two girls glanced at each other, huffed, and strode out of the room.

Dark Lucius shook his head in amusement. "And I thought that having a son is difficult," he chuckled, raising an eyebrow at his older replica. "Seems like I got the easy part of fatherhood after all."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Harry Malfoy commented. "From what Draco's told me, he most certainly wasn't an easy child. At least Olivia has never tried to set the entire Manor in fire just because she'd like to be a real dragon."

Cane Lucius shrugged. "Well, considering that she slipped a truth potion to my mother-in-law and drugged me in order to have a successful family dinner, I just thank my luck that I didn't have her around when she was five."

"Well, that's not a very nice way to talk about your daughter," Lucius Snape commented, raising an eyebrow. "You've got it easy, after all. You only have one son and one daughter; I have five of each -- by now."

Sirius Snape whistled. "That's bad. I truly pity you when they become teenagers." This, of course, got him an angry glare from his teenager son. However, he happily ignored Remy's glare. "I can't even imagine having ten kids!"

"Well, I don't have to imagine," the blond replied, smirking a bit. "And if anything goes well, I'll soon have thirteen."

Sirius Black raised his eyebrows at that. "Well, I truly pity your husband," he said.

This, however, proved to be the wrong thing to say. Not only all people of Lucius Snape's universe currently present glared at him, but also Severus Black stepped forward and glared at his husband. "Well, at least he has been pregnant once and has some kind of an inkling as of what it is like," he hissed. "You can't really say the same, now can you?" Without waiting for a response, he then turned around and stormed away.

"Hey... wait a minute," said Sirius Malfoy, staring at his eldest replica. "I thought that you didn't have children!"

"Well, we don't," the elder man sighed, running a hand through his long hair. "But he would have, if not for an unfortunate accident. Severus was over five months along when the baby died... the same goes for Lucius here." Then he shrugged, a small, wistful smile on his lips. "Well, I guess I'd better find Severus," he said. "He never actually gets openly angry at me before he's collected grudges for quite some time. Better get it over with." And then, he left.

For a moment, everybody was silent. Then Straight Sirius said in perfect seriousness to Severus Junior, "Next time I say that getting along with Remia is difficult, kick me. And don't be too gentle about it."

"Only if you promise to return the favour," the other teenager replied.

Even though this conversation might have gotten even more interesting, it was now interrupted. The reason for this was the fact that Severus Potter's universe was updated -- and the results were not like usual.

"No..." whispered Remy, suddenly dropping to his knees as if his legs could no more carry him. "No, it can't be true!"

"I'm afraid it is, cousin dearest," muttered Harry Lupin quietly, his gaze now sliding from his genetical half-brother to his uncle. Severus Potter had also dropped to the ground, his expression unreadable -- and Sirius Snape's unmoving body now cradled in his arms. Some way from them lay Remus Shacklebolt, seemingly just as lifeless.

"What the Hell happened in your world?" asked Confused Harry, staring at the scene with wide eyes.

Harry Lupin sighed, now facing all the questioning stares targeted at him. "Voldemort happened," he said softly. "It looks like we've managed to take him down permanently -- but doing so costed us Samantha, Sirius, and Father."

"Samantha? You mean Remy's girlfriend?" asked Straight Sirius. As the older wizard simply nodded in confirmation, the teenager paled slightly and muttered, "Oh, fuck." He unconsciously drew Remia nearer to himself and hugged her.

Dumbledore frowned. "Something must be wrong," he muttered. "The Author has never killed anyone before."

"Well, now she seemingly did," Cane Lucius pointed out coolly. "Though I have to wonder." As the others looked at him with questioning expressions, he continued, "Well, those who were already dead never appeared here, right? So, why are these supposedly dead people still here in our midst? Shouldn't they have disappeared as they died?"

Nobody had an answer to that, but they had to admit that he was right; it was indeed odd. However, they never had to find the answer to that. After a moment, Harry Lupin and all of his universe wavered a bit, then disappeared. Before they were completely out of sight, however, most of those around managed to see one thing.

Sirius Snape's eyes had opened. He was alive.

"It seems like you were indeed correct, Cane Lucius," Dumbledore said, a slight smile on his lips. "The Author might shock us, but she won't kill us. If a body remains, there is no death."

As if on cue, however, one of the small doors was slammed open and Father Remus ran out. As he saw Father Harry and Remus Potter, he paled. "Oh, no," he muttered. "So it is indeed true."

"What is true, my dear boy?" asked Dumbledore with a frown. "What has you so distressed?"

"Severus Baby-Shacklebolt disappeared," told the lycanthropic mediwizard. "He didn't leave or anything, just disappeared, like those the Author has finished with disappear. I didn't believe that his story could be ended already, and before he disappeared -- just before it happened, I glanced at him, and he seemed to be in pain --"

Suddenly a silence fell over them. Nobody dared to look at anybody else.

Their assumptions had been wrong. The Author could, and would, indeed kill one of them.

*