To Be a Father

"Ah, Severus!" Dumbledore exclaimed as he saw who was entering his office. "What was it?" Then he noticed the little girl beside the Potions Master, and his eyes widened.

"May I introduce you to my daughter, Headmaster?" Severus asked dryly. "Sandrine, this is Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Albus, this is Sandrine Lupin-Snape, my daughter."

"Lupin-Snape, eh?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a bit. "I didn't know that you and Remus were... such close friends."

"Well, we were," he snapped. "Until I had to leave him in order to keep him safe from the Dark Lord. Apparently, he was already pregnant at that point."

"Oh, yes." Dumbledore nodded. "And nobody ever knew... Not a surprise, considering how alone he's been living." Then he glanced again at the girl. "Well, Sandrine... How Severus came aware of you now?"

"Mommy was hurt at full moon," she replied. "Andromeda and Ted came and they took him to hospital. Then they asked father there and I told him he is my father."

"I see." Dumbledore nodded. "I take it that you're looking after her at least until Remus gets better, right?"

"Right," he nodded. "But I don't want anyone other know her true identitety yet. I think she'll go as my niece."

"Sandrine Snape," the girl added. "We talked about it already."

"I see." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "A lemon drop, Miss Snape?"

Sandrine wrinkled her nose. "No, thanks," she said, trying to hide a shudder as she looked at the candies.

The Headmaster chuckled. "You're really Severus's daughter, I see," he laughed. "He never could stand lemon drops, either."

"Mommy says that lemon drops are bad for your health," the girl replied calmly.

Severus smirked slightly at Dumbledore's shocked expression. "I always thought that Remus had a good taste," he murmured quietly. "Obviously it goes as well to other things as to his taste of men."

"I, personally, think that you corrupted him," the Headmaster replied, raising his eyebrows, as he'd got over the worst surprise. "You see, anyone who doesn't like lemon drops has to be sick. And because it's some kind of illness, it can be sexually transferable."

"That was tasteless, Albus," Severus replied with a dry snort. "Please, remain in the topic. I suppose she can stay in my quarters?"

"Of course, of course," the old wizard promised right away. "It's only nice to have some more life around here. Students of course bring a lot of lively laugh to these cold corridors, but even the first-years nowadays think they're too old to play - which is not true, of course. But, it'd be lovely to have Sandrine stay here."

"You're pathetic," the Slytherin said smoothly, with no malice behind his words.

"That I am," Dumbledore replied with a little twinkle in his eyes. "Could you excuse me for a moment while I send a letter? Then we can go to the Great Hall for a dinner."

Severus had little options but agree. So, he watched attentively as Sandrine - after Dumbledore's cheerful permission - examined curiously all weird apparatuses around the Headmaster's office, while the old man himself wrote a short note, fastened it to Fawkes's leg, and sent the phoenix to his way. Then, they left the office, starting to make their way towards the Great Hall. Sandrine kept tightly on Severus's hand, answering more or less shyly to the Headmaster's questionings about she and Remus's life alone in her Mommy's little cottage.

As soon as they entered the Great Hall, Severus felt somebody watching him. Not Sandrine, but him. He looked towards the Staff Table and noticed several eyes locked on himself - one Anna Sinistra's particularly attentively.

"Oi, Severus!" Sinistra exclaimed with a self-satisfied grin. "I heard you had a daughter around, but I didn't believe. Looks like I was wrong, though. What is her name?"

Severus glared at Dumbledore, who merely chuckled, looking so innocent that he for sure had arranged this. Sandrine looked up at him, a question evident in her eyes.

Severus took a deep breath. If Albus had indeed decided to spill it around, there was no use keeping it secret anymore. "Yes, this is my daughter," he said clearly, keeping his voice as calm as he could. "Sandrine Snape. Does this satisfy your curiosity, dear Anna?"

At least half of the current occupiers of the Great Hall turned to stare at him at those words. He purposefully ignored them as he walked with his daughter and the Headmaster to the Staff Table as gracefully as only he could manage. He noticed with a slight satisfaction that Sandrine moved with just equal grace as he, looking like she'd been sliding instead of walking.

They made their way to the table, where three chairs in the middle were unoccupied. The Headmaster sat down on his own. Severus put Sandrine on another, whispering into her ear, "Try to avoid telling who your Mommy is by now, okay? We'll tell them later as it's the time for them to know."

She nodded, without saying anything. Severus glanced around at the other teachers. They were all staring at him in disbelief and suspicions.

"I'll murder you for this, Albus Dumbledore," he muttered under his breath as he sat down between the Headmaster and his daughter.

"Why so? It's about the time you claim your daughter," the older wizard told calmly, his eyes never lacking the unnerving twinkle, but a little hint of steel flashing in them with those words.

"Father?" asked a tiny voice next to him, and he froze for a second. Then he turned around to look at the little girl. He felt as if his heart would melt as he looked at the amber eyes, so similar to his long-lost lover's eyes.

"Yes, Sandrine?" he asked back, forcing himself to stay clam. His voice was lacking its usual sharp, cool tone, however, like it had been every time he'd been talking to his daughter. This didn't go unnoticed by the nearby teachers, who exchanged surprised glances.

"Why are so many people staring at me?" she asked, looking nervously around the Great Hall.

"Well, they rarely see other children but students here," he explained her, not daring to tell her that most people in the school had right now very hard time believing that anybody might have been willing to sleep with him even once, leave alone have a child with him. "I think the last time was before you were even born. The first year I was teaching here, our old Charms teacher, Professor Batwing, had a little girl. She was ten years old. When it was her time to go to a wizarding school, well, both the professor and her daughter left to Beauxbatons."

"Why?" Sandrine asked, puzzled. "That's stupid! They could as well have stayed here!"

"So they could," he agreed. "But, well, Batwing didn't really like me. The thought of having to stay at least the next seven years here was seemingly too much for her."

Sandrine chuckled, sounding so much like her other father that Severus had to fight down the urge to glance around him and search for Remus. Then she concentrated on her meal, not saying another word for quite some time.

After some time, however, Sinistra, who was sitting next to her, decided to try and have a little discussion with her. "Where you've been staying until now?" she asked the little girl.

"I've been with my Mommy," Sandrine told. "Now Mommy got sick and went to hospital. So, I had to go to my Father."

"Why hasn't Severus ever mentioned you?" asked Sprout, who was sitting on the other side of Sinistra. "You would imagine he'd talk about his daughter, after all. Especially if the daughter was as pretty as you are," she added with a little smile. Unknown to herself, and to everyone other, since Severus would have never admitted it to anyone, her points in Severus's eyes raised quite a lot at that comment. Even though she was a Hufflepuff.

"Father didn't know about me," Sandrine said calmly, trying in vain to cut her beef. "Mommy never told him about me. They weren't keeping contact." She tried again cut the beef, failing again. Not a miracle. Although Remus had kept sure she got fed properly, Severus doubted they'd had beef for meal too often.

He watched the girl's efforts for some time. Then he gently took the fork and knife from her hands and cut the beef to neat, small pieces, just the right size for the girl to be eaten. "There," he said, and then continued eating his own meal, determinedly ignoring the disbelieving stares he was receiving from half the teachers and the majority of the students.

He followed closely the little conversation that was born between Sandrine and the nearby teachers. None of them dared to ask anything from Severus himself, but they were all trying to milk information from Sandrine, listening closely to every and each of her answers.

Sandrine didn't give away anything, though. She managed to keep to herself even the fact that her 'Mommy' was actually male. She was a smart girl, really - although that wasn't a miracle. Both her fathers had got full twelve OWLs and NEWTs as they'd still been at school.

Severus noticed that he hadn't been careful for nothing. Not a few students were closely listening to the conversation. Everything that was said would be known by the whole school before the night. He knew that before or later everyone would know about Sandrine's true parentage, but he was going to push that moment as far to the future as only possible. It would bring too much questions, too much suspicions, too much breaks to the mask he'd carefully built and maintained for all these years.

At last, the meal was over. Severus had planned to get Sandrine to his own quarters as soon as possible, but Dumbledore insisted that they should go to the staff room for a moment. "Don't worry," the twinkle-eyed old wizard said as he tried to refuse. "I'll have an extra room created for Sandrine while you're there. And Andromeda is currently collecting her things from her previous home. Everything will be taken care of. Now, let your daughter be spoilt."

Dumbledore was right. Even though teachers in majority didn't like Severus particularly, and some were even scared of him, they all were charmed by Sandrine's big golden eyes and slightly shy behaviour. Well, almost all of them - the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Simmons, and the DADA teacher, Professor Hamilton, kept giving the girl suspicious glances. Also, even though Sinistra was cooing around her just like the other female professors, Severus sometimes caught a calculating glint in her eyes as she looked at him. Well, once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin.

Argus Filch looked like he didn't know what to do. He hated children in general. True, more true than anybody might even guess. But, Severus was one of the rare people he might call even relatively friends of his, and he definitely was, leave Dumbledore and McGonagall, the only one he had any respect for in the other staff.

Poppy Pomfrey insisted to check her health. As she announced that Sandrine was in perfect health, Severus puffed and muttered under his breath, "Of course she is." This gained him not a few curious glances, but he didn't care.

The other women were just as hopeless. Vector gave her a couple of Chocolate Frogs, winning the girl's heart to herself, and Sprout promised - although only after a questioning glance to Severus and receiving a brief nod in response - to give her some of her nicest plants. "To give some life to the dungeons," Hooch added, earning a sharp glare from Severus. Flitwick even charmed a chair to dance, making Sandrine giggle happily.

Thorough the evening Severus nodded that he'd started assorting his collagues by their behaviour towards his daughter. Flitwick, Vector, Pomfrey, and Sprout, whom he'd mostly ignored before, didn't seem quite as bad as before even though they were from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. McGonagall, who'd broken her usually strict mask to give the girl an approving glance, also got points from him. The others, however... Hooch and Kettleburn, who in general ignored Sandrine, had to be somehow stupid. Filch also lost himself by saying a couple of nasty words, which he'd regret later as Severus let Peeves into his office. Trelawney, who almost scared Sandrine out of her skin and then kept saying that the girl was "talentless and pitiful," as well as faking Sinistra and the openly hostile professors Simmons and Hamilton, well, they were in for some quite hard time very soon. That meant that most of his human relationship had just took a turn to better or worse over completely irrational reasons and favoritism - and nobody would even blame him for it, taking it as just natural behaviour in that situation.

Severus noticed that he might like being a father after all.

*

"Good afternoon," said a voice behind Andromeda.

She swung around and saw a young woman in Muggle clothes. She had brown hair and equally brown eyes, and she was glancing at her curiously.

"Good afternoon," Andromeda replied. "May I ask what you're doing here?"

"May I ask the same?" the woman asked back. "I am Juliet Warton, the local social worker. I was asked to come here when Sandrine had been a week away from school and we couldn't contact her father."

"I'm Andromeda Tonks," she replied, "a family friend. Mr. Lupin had to go to a hospital for some time. Sandrine is staying with her... uncle." She noticed at the last second that she couldn't tell that the girl was with her other father.

"Oh, I understand," the woman said, looking sympathetic. "Nothing serious, I hope?"

"I'm afraid so," she said, and sighed. "You can tell the teachers not to be worried. Even when Mr. Lupin has recovered, I don't think Sandrine will be returning to her old school."

"I see. You know, a month ago I was here also."

Andromeda eyed her suspiciously, but didn't say anything. She just waited for the other woman to go on.

"A neighbour contacted me," the Muggle continued. "He'd been on a walk late one night as he'd heard some suspicious noises from here - like a human screaming, he said. So, I had to come and check."

Andromeda swallowed. So this woman, although unknown to herself, had caused the overdrive of Remus's wolf senses. "And what was the result?" she asked, forcing her voice to keep even.

"The result? Nil. Sandrine seemed to be a very happy and healthy little girl. Mr. Lupin looked a bit sick, but otherwise he, too, was great. He truly loves the girl, I could see it in the way he treated her. They seemed to have just enough money for living, but she had nice clothes and toys, and even a pet owl. A pet owl! I never even knew they could be kept as pets."

"My cousin has one also," the witch told her, deciding to keep quiet about her own three owls. "They're really quite interesting creatures. So nothing was wrong around here?"

"No, absolutely nothing. That neighbour most probably imagined it all. Everything showed that they were perhaps the happiest family I've ever checked on."

"You're right," Andromeda said softly. "They truly are a very happy family."

"Yeah. It looked like he didn't do anything else but hugged his daughter and called him by pet names. There was one funny thing though..."

"What funny thing?" the witch asked, although she had a rather good suspicion as of what it could be.

"Sandrine kept calling him 'Mommy.' I mean, I know she's grown up without her mother, poor thing, but still, calling her father 'Mommy?'" She shook her head and chuckled. "It was cute, though. He called her 'Princess.'"

"Sounds just like something that Remus would do." Andromeda smiled. "Now, if you would excuse me, I should collect some of Sandrine's things she needs while staying with her... uncle."

Miss Warton nodded. "Go ahead. So Sandrine won't return to the school?"

"No. I'll make sure the proper papers get filled as soon as we get the other things set." With this said, Andromeda entered the house, leaving the Muggle woman behind.

*

"Severus, Sandrine," Dumbledore called from the staff room's door. "Your things have been brought."

Severus snatched his eyes away from his beaming daughter and looked at the Headmaster. "Very well," he said calmly. "Sandrine?"

"Yes, Father?" she replied immediately.

"We're going to my quarters now," he told her. "We have to put your things to your new room, after all."

She nodded with a happy smile, then slid off the chair she'd been sitting on. With a cheery goodbye to her admirers, the little girl followed Severus and Dumbledore out of the room.

As they got to Severus's quarters, they were met with a heap of things lying on the floor. "Looks like Andromeda found everything," Dumbledore said after a quick glance. "Her room is behind that door to your left. I have to settle some things, so I'll leave you to your work."

Severus gave him a suspicious glance, knowing that the older wizard had something up to his sleeve. But, he didn't say anything but bid his goodnights to the Headmaster.

As soon as Dumbledore had left, Sandrine ran to the pile of her possessions, starting to dig into it franticly as if in search for something. Watching her curiously, Severus just stood on his place, until the girl jumped up with a cheerful shout.

"She found him!" Sandrine exclaimed, hugging something raggy and worn-up against her chest. "I told her to find him, and she did!"

"What did she find?" asked Severus curiously.

"Mr. Moony, of course," Sandrine replied calmly. "Look!" She showed him an old, ragged stuffed toy that could with a lot of imagination maybe resemble something.

Then Sandrine turned the toy over, and Severus was staring a grey toy wolf right in the eye.

"It looks to me that Mr. Moony is a bit worn-out," Severus said carefully. "Do you want me to repair him?" He pulled out his wand, but put it back as Sandrine shook her head.

"I like him the way he is," she said, hugging the toy even tighter. "I wouldn't let Mommy repair him, either. I told him that he shouldn't try to fix Mr. Moony before he's falling apart."

"Then I won't try to fix him, either," Severus promised. "He's your wolf, after all. It's up to you to decide what you want to do with him."

"Right," Sandrine said, and beamed. "And I'm going to keep him just like he is." Sahe hugged the wolf again, then examined it closely. "He looks a bit like Mommy at the full moon, don't you think?" she asked then.

Severus startled a bit. "I wouldn't know," he said then carefully. "I've never seen your Mommy as a wolf."

"You haven't?" she asked, frowning. "He's not dangerous."

"To you, he isn't," Severus said patiently. "You're his cub. To everyone other, he is very dangerous. To me, also."

"No, he isn't," Sandrine argued. "Not to you, at least. You're my father, and as I'm his cub, it makes you his mate. The werewolf doesn't harm their mate, either."

Severus raised his eyebrows slightly. "For such a young child you know a lot," he remarked.

"Mommy has taught me," the girl replied with a shrug. "We never went anywhere, other than to work and school, so we spent a lot time together. He told me all kind of things, whatever I only asked." Her beautiful golden eyes held a bit sad glint to them as she said this.

"You can ask me, also," Severus promised, wanting to cheer her up at least a bit. "I promise to tell you anything you want to know."

Sandrine nodded, but didn't say anything. For a moment they both stood there, not saying a word.

"We need to get your stuff to your room," Severus reminded her. "Let's at least have a look at it, shall we?" He went to the brand-new door and opened it, looking inside. Sandrine came to his side and peered to the room also.

Severus couldn't help but allow himself a little smile at the sight. There was a small children's bed in the room. There was also a little table in the corner with a tiny chair in front of it, as well as a toy basket, a bookshelf and a closet. The little door in the furthest corner obvously led to her own bathroom. All in all, it had anything a little girl could want and need.

The amusing thing was that the walls were a pale green colour, while all the furniture was forest green with silver details.

"Slytherin colours," Sandrine said observantly. "Of course! You're the Head of the Slytherin House, after all."

"Yes, I am," Severus said, a tiny smile still tugging the corner of his mouth. "And I like to make people remember it. Looks like Albus wanted to give me some back about it." He turned towards the girl, a bit hesitant. "Do you like it?" he asked carefully.

"Do I like it?" she echoed. A broad smile lit up her features. "I love it. It's beautiful!"

"That's good," the Potions Master replied, sighing inwardly with relief. "Now, let's get your things inside and on their places, shall we?"

There wasn't much to move in. Sandrine brought the very few toys of hers in, dropping them to the bottom of the toy basket. Mr. Moony sat on her bed, "watching" as Severus started neatly arranging all the girl's little dresses and robes to the closet. It seemed that even though Remus could not afford much, he made sure his daughter was well clothed.

Then Sandrine ran again outside, bringing back an armsful of various things. She dropped them to the floor, starting to put them in piles. Severus watched from the corner of his eye as she put her books into alphabetical order on the bookshelf. Then the girl placed some papers, a notebook, and a couple of old-looking pencils on the table. A couple of other stuffed toys also got sorted - two to the toy basket, one to her bed to keep company to Mr. Moony.

"Do you like it when things are in a clear order?" Severus asked, a bit amused by her exactness in this.

Sandrine nodded. "Mommy does, too," she said. "And he's told that you do, too. That's what is the worst after the full moon - before Mommy gets up, the places that weren't locked are so messy."

Severus nodded, unable to come up with a reply to that. Instead, he just watched as Sandrine arranged her few markers to colour order.

After yet some things had found their places, she only had left a tiny, wooden box. Carefully she opened it, lifting up a chain with a golden ring on it. She watched it for a moment, then put it back and shut the lid. She placed the box carefully on the highest shelf.

"What's that?" Severus asked curiously.

Sandrine glanced at him. "It's a ring," she replied simply. Then she added, "Mommy got it from his mother, and I got it from him. It's still too big for me, but I may sometimes wear it as a necklace." She smiled proudly, then said, "It's my own jewellery, all of it. It's very valuable."

Severus nodded slowly. There was so much of his daughter he didn't actually know. Like, what she held most treasurable in her life - other than her Mommy, of course. Somehow, Mr. Moony and this ring both reminded Severus of each other. They were both old, and wouldn't maybe look like very valuable to someone - the ring was golden, true, but still it was so tainted and worn with time that a quick glance would miss that. Still, these two were both very dear to Sandrine - and she'd got them both from her Mommy.

Severus promised to himself to look through his mother's old jewellery once Sandrine'd went to sleep. He didn't want to overdo Remus's gifts, since he knew that wouldn't be right and would only upset Sandrine. But, he did want to give her some "treasure" that would remind her of him. Even if Remus recovered, and if he would neither leave Sandrine to his care nor have anything to do with Severus, there'd be something that would make Sandrine think about her Father, not her Mommy.

And, if Remus died, nothing Severus gave could overdo the value of the werewolf's gifts to his daughter.

At last, they got all Sandrine's things on their places. "Now, young lady," Severus said with a half-stern tone, "we're going to eat something. Then you'll wash and go to sleep."

To his great surprise Sandrine didn't argue, she just nodded. Seemingly, she was a very obedient little girl.

Severus ordered them a small supper from the house-elves, and they ate it in a comfortable silence. Then he watched as she washed herself, changed to her nightgown, and climped to her bed.

"Will you read me a bedtime story?" came suddenly a quiet question.

Taking one gaze to his daughter, Severus nodded. "Of course, little one," he replied. "What would you want to hear?"

"Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig."

Smiling at the girl's choice, as well as the truth that he could indeed find the addressed book in her book shelf, Severus started to read the story. Halfway through it, he saw that Sandrine seemed to be sleeping, so he stood and started to leave.

Just as he was about to blow the candle off, however, he heard a sleepy voice, "You didn't read it wholly..."

Shaking his head in amusement, Severus sat back. This time, he read the story to an end. Seeing that Sandrine was now truly sleeping, he put the book back to the shelf, blew the candle, and left the room. He left the door a bit ajar, however, allowing some dim light from the corridor to cast to the room.

After a moment of thinking, Severus left his quarters. He sweeped through the dungeons, then to the upper floors of the castle, where most of the teachers resided. Reaching professor Vector's quarters, he knocked on the door, hoping that Vector wouldn't be asleep - not because he was afraid of disturbing her, but because he didn't want to bother and wake her up.

Fortunately, she was awake. Just as he raised his hand to knock the second time, the door opened, and Vector looked at him. She looked very surprised and even a bit shocked to see him, but beckoned him inside all the same.

"What's the matter, Severus?" she asked, watching him curiously.

"You have a daughter, right?" he asked back, deciding to skip all the polite phrases. It was expected of him, after all.

"Yes, I do," the Arithmancy professor replied, meanwhile leading him to the area she used as a sitting room. She gestured him to sit down. "Tea?" she asked.

"Yes, please," Severus replied. Then, he returned to the questioning. "So, what does a little girl in the age of seven need?" he asked, watching the witch intently.

"In Sandrine's age?" she said, frowning a bit. "Well, toys, of course. And other things - anything nice and girly and princess-like makes most of them happy. Healthy food, proper sleep, the basic stuff. And..." She hesitated for a moment, then said, "What they most need... What any child most needs... Lots and lots of love."

Severus calmly sipped his tea. Then he raised an eyebrow and glanced at the witch while saying, "You think I can't give that to her." It wasn't even a question.

"Well..." She hesitated for a moment, then said, "No, I don't think so. I happen to believe that all human beings are capable of loving. I just think that you'll have some very hard time doing so."

Severus didn't say anything.