Qualms and Connections

Qualms and Connections

Chapter 2:

The Visit

*

"Stop being childish, James," said Alanna Potter strictly. "We're getting you a brother, period. No, you cannot make us change our minds. We've decided on this already. So, please stop."

"No, I won't," the boy said sharply. "I will not stop until you've come back to your senses. You already have me! I am your son! Whatever would you want another child for? It'd only be more trouble!"

"Well, at the moment we're pretty seriously considering giving you out in exchange of this new son," Gary said dryly. Then he, too, looked stern. "Try to understand, James," he said. "It's not that you weren't a good son, far from that. It's just that we can better than well support a bigger family, and we want to give some orphan a home. Imagine what your life would be like if you had no family, no parents, no home, not a thing to call your own aside from the clothes on you. What would that feel like? And why do you so badly wish that fate to whomever we're going to adopt and give a proper home to?"

To this, James didn't find an answer. However, he was far too spoiled to just give up at that. "I still don't want a brother," he said stubbornly. "Nor do I want a sister. Take in some mutt from the street if you want to make some stray bastard's life a bit better!"

"James Gary Potter!" snapped Alanna, fuming. "That was the last of it! If you say one word more, we will adopt five other kids and give you up, don't you doubt my words!"

And seeing how angry his mother was, James didn't doubt it. Neither did he doubt that he had just got himself into a very deep shit -- and that he most certainly would get a brother. No matter if his parents had to look through every single Wizarding orphanage in the whole country, he would get a brother.

Life sucked.

*

As soon as Gary and Alanna entered the St. Helen's Semi-Magical Orphanage, a happy-looking nurse hurried to greet them. "I'm afraid you cannot just walk around and pick a child to your liking, as that's the Wizarding standard only, and we're now having some Muggles on a visit," she said apologetically. Of course she knew who they were, as they had asked for an appointment. She nodded towards a truly Muggle-looking couple, who were talking with a little girl some way afar. "I'll take you to the head nurse, she'll surely let you look through the files of our children."

Alanna and Gary nodded, then followed the woman through the corridors of the orphanage. At last, they stopped in front of an oak door. After knocking on the door and briefly announcing the reason for their visit, the nurse opened the door and let them inside.

"So you are a Wizarding couple willing to adopt a child?" asked the head nurse, eyeing them questioningly. Her smile was a bit too sweet, making it very difficult for the Potters to trust her.

"Yes, we are," replied Gary. "A boy, preferably -- twelve years or so. Our son -- a biological one -- doesn't want to be the youngest in the family if he's going to have a brother."

"I understand." The nurse flicked her wand, and a pile of files flew from the nearby shelf. They were all of the boys between eleven and thirteen years of age. "Any more wishes?"

"Well, he should be a wizard," Alanna said. "That would be much easier." Another flick, and most of the files disappeared. "And intelligent, if possible, and not one to get angry too easily." Gary nodded at this. James was a hothead at times, and it would be good if the new boy didn't rise to the bait.

Even more files disappeared, leaving only two onto the table. Alanna reached out her hand to look at them, but to her great shock, the nurse just took the files and started to put them back to the shelf.

"Well, I'm sorry, but you're asking a bit too much," she said with an apologetical smile. "Maybe you should give up a couple of the qualities you hope to have in your new son?"

"But there were two files left!" argued Gary. "Who are those for, and why couldn't we adopt one of them?"

"Well, you hardly would like them," the woman said with another overly sweet smile, though now there was a hint of steel in her voice. "One of them is Severus Snape. Intelligent, yes, and not a hothead, but he hates everything and everyone, except for maybe his best friend."

"And the other one?" probed Alanna annoyedly. How could this nurse try to make the choice for them?

"The said best friend," the nurse said. "Remus Lupin. He's not a bad-mannered boy, far from that, he's kind to everyone who comes to his sight. However, he is --" she lowered her voice -- "a werewolf."

Now, Alanna blinked. "And?" she asked. "My cousin is a werewolf, too. I see no problem with that."

"Me neither," Gary said. "However, I do see a problem with the fact that you're treating the poor boy like he was a beast. You said that he is friendly and kind -- then why do you talk of him like a monster?"

The nurse was a bit taken aback by this. "Very well," she said then stiffly. "I'll take you to him, if you truly insist. All the better for me if I get that beast out of my hands." Then she started to lead them to the actual orphanage from her office, ignoring their angry glares.

When they walked into the playroom of the orphanage, the noise was horrible. Some children stopped their games to look at the Potters interestedly, but when the nurse just led the couple past them, they returned to their previous doings. Some, however, gave them longing glances, ones that Alanna had to force herself to ignore. These children were young, these children were human. They had a chance to get adopted. Remus, however, most probably would never have another chance, thanks to all the stupid prejudices.

At last they reached the far corner of the room. There they saw a lonely boy, who was seemingly just heading to a nearby door. A sharp word from the head nurse, however, stopped him. "Severus Snape!" snapped the witch. "Where is that good-for-nothing friend of yours?"

"He's in the garden, Ma'am," the boy replied, raising his eyebrow. "What do you want of him? Neither of us has done anything wrong. Not that it mattered, anyway, as you'll punish us regardless of whether we've done something bad or not." It was rather obvious he didn't notice the two visitors immediately.

"That's none of your business," snapped the nurse. "Now, this couple wants to talk with your friend. And if you dare to interrupt their conversation, Merlin's the only one who can help you!"

"I don't doubt that," the boy said lazily. However, there was a sharp glint in his deep-black eyes. Those eyes seemed to look right through them, so sharp they were. Despite the fact that the Potters no more thought much of the nurse's words, they had no problem believing that this boy disliked most people.

And, when they were led outside through the nearby door and the nurse had pointed at a small-sized boy, muttering something too low for them to hear properly, they had already made their decision.

The boy was far skinnier than anybody his age should have been. Alanna couldn't help but wonder whether it was because of his werewolf transformations or because they didn't give him enough to eat in the orphanage. Considering the head nurse's attitude about him, it was pretty probable. Werewolves did need more food than normal people, and probably these monsters didn't think it wise to use more resources on the "beast" than their beloved human children. Really, the only beasts in the whole place were the nurses.

Remus was also pale. His golden hair was a bit messy, like he had spent the whole day outside in the wind. Maybe he didn't want to be inside; Alanna herself certainly wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere near people who treated her like the nurses treated the poor boy. Now, the boy was sitting on a little bench, a thick book in his lap, seemingly wholly concentrated in whatever it was he was reading. A pair of reading glasses was perched on his nose, and there was a tiny frown between his brows that the witch found absolutely adorable. Just as well she adored the boy's habit to chew his lower lip when he was deep in thought. Yes, she definitely wanted to adopt this little, skinny boy and make him all happy and healthy again.

Alanna glanced at her husband, and got a nod in return. Seemingly Gary's thoughts were running along the same lines as hers, and he, too, wanted to adopt Remus. Good. Now she wouldn't have to argue about it with him. Of course she would have won, but it would have been a bit annoying.

So, both equally determined to make this badly hurt boy theirs, they stepped forward.

*

Remus was startled from his reading as somebody crouched in front of him, taking the book from his lap. For a moment he thought that it was one of the bigger boys again, and that they would throw his book away and taunt him, but to his surprise, the book was put gently to his side, not losing the page. A quick glance to the person in front of him showed him a friendly-looking woman, who was smiling. And who had the most familiar hazel eyes. Remus had many times seen those eyes -- on James.

'Oh, shit,' he thought. 'So they did come here... What do they want?'

"Hello, Remus -- that's your name, isn't it?" The woman smiled warmly at him as he nodded warily. "I am Alanna Potter, and this is my husband Gary. We're interested in adopting you, little one."

Now Remus raised his eyes to the man standing next to her, startled. As the man, too, just smiled reassuringly at him, he cowered a bit. "But -- you cannot possibly want to adopt me," he said quietly. "I am --" He swallowed and shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

"We know what you are, Remus," Alanna said soothingly. "I have a cousin who is a werewolf, I know you cannot help it. It's anything but your fault, dear boy."

"We'll make sure you are as comfortable as possible during the full moons," continued the man -- James's father, like Remus knew very well. James had told that the eldest son in every generation of the Potters looked exactly like those before them, although they always had their mother's eyes; it was some kind of a family curse or something. And truly, Gary Potter looked exactly like his son did.

Of course, Remus was still hesitant to even consider accepting their offer. "But I'm dangerous to be around on full moons," he said. "And I have to be locked up. It'd be much easier to you to just get a human child."

"You are human," said Alanna firmly. Suddenly she drew Remus into a warm embrace, startling the werewolf by this sudden touch. After a moment, the stiff, uneasy boy slowly relaxed in her arms. He couldn't remember ever being hugged by anybody else but Severus, and the feeling was new to him. Was this what James got every day from this woman -- his mother?

'James,' he remembered, and stiffened again. James had said he would hate whomever was his new brother. Remus didn't want James to hate him, since it would mean that Sirius and Peter hated him, too. James was the leader of their group, and if he hated someone, so did Sirius and Peter. That's why they also hated Severus, who had never done anything bad to them.

And there was another reason, Severus. His best friend, his only friend until he went into Hogwarts and met James and Sirius and Peter. Becoming James's brother might mean that he couldn't meet Severus anymore, that he couldn't be his friend anymore. And besides, he had promised.

"What do you think, Remus?" asked Gary softly when Alanna finally released the young werewolf. "Would you want to become our son? We already have one son, his name is James, and we'd really like him to have a brother. You probably have at least heard of him already, you both go to Hogwarts, after all. And do not worry, he won't mind that you are a werewolf, he knows better than that."

Of course James wouldn't mind the fact that he was a werewolf, he already knew that. But James would mind that he was an orphan, that nobody had wanted him. And he would mind that Remus had come to his home, taking away his position as the only child. And that Severus was his friend.

Maybe James would come to live with that by time. Maybe they could be friends, and even brothers in the end. That might happen -- if Remus accepted the offer and became a Potter instead of a Lupin. (Not that he'd ever really been Lupin, he'd just been given the name after he'd been bitten.)

But Remus couldn't do that. He just couldn't. He'd promised Severus he'd never leave him -- just like Severus had promised the same thing to him. And accepting this offer would have been betraying his friend, forgetting the promise he had made and had always kept, at least until now.

Oh, he did know that Severus would have most probably wanted him to accept, just like Remus would have wanted Severus to accept, if anybody had wanted to adopt the Slytherin. True, then he would have been left alone into the orphanage, but that didn't really matter much.

"I'm sorry," he thus said softly. "I've promised my friend that I won't leave him alone here, and I won't."

"Oh!" Alanna looked surprised, and, to his great surprise, understanding. "You don't want to be separated from your friend? Don't worry, we can arrange that," she said. "He attends to Hogwarts, too, doesn't he? You'll surely meet him there. And you can visit him here whenever you like."

"But I can't," Remus protested. "It would be betraying him, if I got a family and he'd still be alone here. So, although I'd really want to become your son, I can't accept your offer. I can't leave him alone."

"Well, we cannot adopt two boys," Gary said slowly, then glanced at Alanna. "But we have a couple of friends who certainly wouldn't mind another child. Their names are Molly and Arthur Weasley, and they have two children, Bill and Charlie, but they would want more. We could ask them to adopt your friend, so you wouldn't be betraying him, and could still meet him often."

"What does that sound like, little one?" Alanna asked, now smiling again. "Would you then accept?"

Unable to resist anymore, Remus nodded. "Yes, I would," he said. "If your friend truly adopts Severus, I will become your son. But I doubt anybody would like Severus, he hates anybody but me," he added quietly. It was true, after all -- as much as he loved Severus, he had to admit that.

"Oh, have no worry," laughed Alanna. "Molly has a way with people, nobody can hate her for long. I'll firecall her tonight already. And if she accepts -- like I know she will -- we will come to pick you and Severus from here tomorrow. So, be ready for that."

Again, Remus nodded. However, he did fear -- fear that this Molly wouldn't want Severus anymore once she saw his friend. And if the Potters had adopted him already by that point, he would be separated from Severus. And this time, it would be forever -- he just knew that.

*