Never Alone

Never Alone

***

Part One:

To Bond or Not to Bond

*

"Severus?" asked a quiet voice.

The Potions Master turned rapidly on his heels. "Yes, Lupin?" he asked snappishly, watching the werewolf intently.

"Albus sent me," Lupin said, still hesitant. "He thought that you might need some companion."

"I need nothing," Severus replied bitterly. "I need nothing, and nobody. I'm just fine."

"Albus thought something else," the werewolf remarked, raising an eyebrow. "And he's right more often than not."

"Well, now he is wrong," the Slytherin said, wanting to get the werewolf out of his quarters. "I don't need anybody's company. Definitely not yours."

Lupin's golden eyes flashed with anger. He opened his mouth to reply, but then froze, his mouth still half open. He was staring at something behind Severus.

Severus turned around and saw what Lupin was staring at. In the doorway to the next room stood a man. He was wearing black robes that hang loosely on his thin body. His skin was pale and his face expressionless. The only thing that looked well in him was the platinum blond hair that fell down to his midback, seemingly freshly combed. His eyes, however, merely looked in the air in front of him, blank and lifeless.

"Is - is that -" Lupin managed to say, then gasped again.

"Lucius Malfoy?" Severus finished for him, sighing in quiet defeat. "Yes, he is." He walked to the blond man and took his hand. "Now, Lucius, let's get back to the living room," he said, slowly and clearly, like one would speak to a little child. Over his shoulder he said, "Come on. You saw him already, and I guess you won't leave until you get the answers you'll obviously be demanding."

"Oh, definitely," Lupin said, seemingly getting back to his senses. He walked to the small living room right on Severus's heels. There he sat on the couch Severus showed him, and the Potions Master himself sat opposite to him, Lucius next to him.

For a moment, they were both quiet. Then Lupin decided to break the silence.

"They gave him the Kiss," he said, examining the blond man with the disturbingly sharp golden eyes.

Severus didn't say anything for a reply, just sighed and nodded. He let his fingers intertwine with Lucius's and squeezed the hand slightly, knowing all too well that Lucius would not squeeze back.

"So why's he here, then?" the werewolf questioned further. "Why he's not in Azkaban?"

"They pardoned him," Severus said quietly. "It was no use to keep him there after the Kiss. Narcissa didn't want anything to do with a soulless man - she's only interested in his will, which he's no longer able to change against her. So, I got to take care of him."

"Oh, Severus," Lupin sighed. There was no pity in his voice. It was just a resigned sigh, filled with a slight sense of equality and understanding. Then, after a slight moment, he added, "You loved him... Didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," Severus admitted. "And I still do - it doesn't matter that he can't love me back anymore. He wasn't that bad a man, you know - not evil by any means."

"Not evil?" Lupin echoed, sounding vaguely amused. "Oh, so he's not really the Dark Lord's right-hand man - he's really a little flower girl, right?"

Severus gave him a sharp glare. Then he said, just as quietly as before, "Lupin... If I told you that he was telling the truth about being under Imperiatus all those years ago... Would you believe me?"

"He was?" the light brunet man asked, now surprised more than anything. "Well, well... That explains quite a lot of things, actually."

"Oh?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter." Lupin eyed Lucius again, then asked, "I take it there isn't any way to... ah... bring him back, is there?"

"Well... Actually, there is," Severus said, a bit hesitant. "But, it's impossible."

"Really?" Lupin asked, raising his eyebrows. "Why so?"

"Because the only way to bring him back is to create a bond," Severus said softly, allowing his fingers to gently stroke the unmoving hand of his former lover's. "A bond between him and someone else. But... only one other participant isn't enough to pull his soul back; the bond wouldn't be strong enough. And there's nobody who would voluntarily enter a bond with me and Lucius, of all the people, as the other participants."

"I would do that."

Severus's eyes snapped back to him. "You would?" he asked, disbelieving.

"Of course. I know what it is like to lose a mate. I don't wish that fate to anyone." He raised an eyebrow, adding, "Not even to you."

"You would do it," Severus whispered, still not really believing what he was hearing. "You really would allow yourself to be bonded to us both."

"I would." Lupin nodded slowly, then continued, "I take it the bond doesn't need to be... ah... completed in order to pull him back?"

"No," Severus confirmed. "The mere creating of it is enough. But... are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I'd want nothing as much as to have Lucius back, but are you absolutely sure? You know what it would mean. You'd need to be near to us both for the rest of your life."

"I'm aware of that," the werewolf said, and shrugged. "It isn't like I planned to live very long anyway."

Severus gave him a sharp glance. "You aren't planning suicide, are you?" he asked suspiciously.

"I don't need to," the other man replied. "If I live in an uncompleted bond, sooner or later I'll die. You know that. Even though a simple touch every now and then is enough to keep me alive, the wolf will eventually tear itself apart from an uncompleted bond. In the process, it'll drain me."

"Why would you do this, then?" the Slytherin asked, a bit confused. Why'd Lupin sacrifice that much?

"Everybody would be happy then. Don't you see? You could be together with Lucius. Only you two, without me. And I, I could be with Sirius. You wouldn't lose a mate, I would get back mine."

Severus hesitated for a moment. This was really much to ask from Lupin. What if the werewolf would later regret dooming himself to eventual death? And what would the others say about it?

Then he glanced at Lucius. He saw the silver, bottomless eyes that were empty of all life, the beautiful face that no longer expressed any feelings, the rosy lips that would never again voice promises of love to him.

"Okay," he said, suddenly making up his mind. "We'll do it."

*

Severus voiced the incantation clearly, Lupin's clear tenor echoing his deep baritone. They both were holding one of Lucius's unmoving form's hands in their one hand and each other with the other hand.

At last, they came to the last word. There was a flash of light that forced them to close their eyes for a moment. Then there was a sudden wave of power that flung them all backwards to the floor, apart from each other.

As Severus at last got back to his feet, he eyed Lucius hesitantly. He assumed that the spell had worked, but there were no signs of waking in the blond man. He just lay there, unmoving, and with a sinking heart Severus thought that they had dismanaged.

Then, suddenly, there was a little movement. Lucius's hand moved an inch, another. Then he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position, holding his head.

He was back.

"Lucius," Severus whispered, feeling like it wouldn't do to speak aloud. The blond's eyes rose to him. Painfully slowly, Lucius stood, then walked in front of Severus. Then he stopped there, watching intently the dark-haired man. Severus looked back.

Unnoticed by both men, Lupin had slipped away from the room, leaving them alone. Therefore, they both just stood there, watching each other.

"Severus," Lucius said, his voice raspy. "I - I remember..." He shook his head like in an attempt to clear his mind, then said softly, "I remember Azkaban."

"You're not in Azkaban anymore, love," Severus said quietly, feeling suddenly very nervous in front of his old lover. "You're pardoned, Lucius. You're free."

"W-what?" the blond man stammered, obviously taking a great effort to comprehend his words. "Why'd they let me free?"

"Because you were already punished," Severus said quietly. "They'd given you the Dementor's Kiss."

The taller man blinked in surprise. "The Kiss?" he repeated. "Yes, I remember something like that... But... How am I sane now, then? How I'm in my body?"

"A bond powerful enough can pull the soul back to the body," the dark-haired man explained, his eyes cast down to the floor. "An unbreakable bond."

"You did that?" Lucius asked in amazement, his voice still a bit harsh from the time it'd been unused. He watched Severus intently with his stormy grey eyes.

"Well..." Severus hesitated at first, then said, "It wasn't me alone, to be honest. Remus Lupin, also, allowed himself to be bonded with you - and me. Otherwise, the bond wouldn't have been strong enough."

If Lucius had been surprised before, now he was far beyond that. "Remus Lupin?" he repeated, sounding shocked. "Why'd he ever do that?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You don't have anything going with him... Do you?" he asked.

"No! No, Lucius," Severus hastied to say. "If I was cheating on you, do you seriously think I'd bring you back to this world?" Then he sighed deep. "Lupin has decided to die," he said blankly. "After Black died, he's had no purpose in his life. This was a perfect occasion for him - he could both save me from the bitter fate of losing a lover, and die without committing a suicide. An uncompleted bond will eventually drain a werewolf, you know."

"Oh." Lucius nodded slowly. "I understand... At least I think I do."

Severus didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled Lucius into a tight embrace, pressing his face against the taller man' shoulder. Lucius embraced him back, resting his chin on top of Severus's head.

"I love you," Lucius whispered, stroking his back gently.

"I love you, too," Severus murmured back.

They both felt full and content on each other's arms. The bond that now tied them together made their love even stronger, allowing them to feel each other's presence even better than they'd used to.

Still, neither could get rid of the nagging feeling that someone was missing from their bond.

Some particular Remus Lupin.