Meeting You Again

Meet you again

***

Remus Lupin was working in his garden on a nice day in the beginning of summer. Suddenly he heard a barking noise against him. He turned around and saw a familiar form running towards him.

"Snuffles!" he exclaimed, laughing as the black dog jumped against him. "Come inside. I'll give you something to eat."

The dog gladly obeyed, skipping on his heels as he walked towards the little cottage. Once they got inside, it immediately changed back to Sirius Black.

For a while they just looked at each other. They had met in the Shrieking Shack, yes, but it had been only a brief meeting, and they had been far too occupied with other things to really concentrate on each other's current appearance.

Remus swallowed. Sirius looked thin and sickly. His previously stunningly blue eyes looked nearly black now; they were fathomless as they stared at him. Gone was Sirius's previous mischievious grin, gone was his silky, chin-length, smooth hair Remus had loved grasping on. Now his face was serious, his lips thin, and his hair on long, greasy tangles that hung halfway down to his back. His clothes were worn-out, hardly more than rags at all, and his hands were clenched on fists.

Remus sighed. How could this happen to such a beautiful creature as Sirius? He remembered him back at school - his silky hair even girls had envied; his piercing blue eyes, surrounded by long, dark eyelashes; a little bit pouty mouth any girl - and not a few boys - would have given their wands to get a kiss on; perfect, muscular body; strong, yet gentle hands...

And it had all been his.

He bit his lip to keep back a sob. Sirius didn't even probably want him anymore. It had been too long time, too much things had happened since then. Times had changed, they had changed.

He'd probably never get Sirius again.

~*~

Sirius let his eyes examine Remus. It had been long time after he had really seen Remus properly. Thirteen and a half years, to be exact.

He remembered Remus back then. His hair had been something between Sirius's chinlength and James's and Peter's short - he had sometimes let it grow a bit, but because they had always teased him to look like a girl, he kept it rather short in general. It had been an interesting mix of hunny and chestnut colour, with a few golden strands here and there. Sirius had always loved it - it made him think of a beach and sun, and he could nearly smell salty ocean every time he breathed in the scent of Remus's hair.

Remus had always been small and slender - the bite had distracted his growth. It had never bothered Sirius at all, he had always only laughed as he had easily lifted the werewolf on his arms, spinning him around like he were a little child. And Remus would laugh and yell him to let him down, and after that he'd first slap Sirius playfully and pull him into a breathless kiss, and...

And his eyes. They were the most wonderful golden colour he culd imagine - not the wolf's yellowish gold, but something between gold and amber. There had always been a gentle twinkle in them as he had smiled - Sirius had always loved it when he smiled, that little, perfect bow of his mouth curving upwards, releaving a glimpse of his white, shiny teeth.

Now it was different. Remus's hair was now rather long, down to his shoulders, and it was pulled on a low ponytail in his neck. It was nearly silver in colour, only few remaining colourful strands reminding of the previous golden and soft brown warmth of it. He looked much too old for his age, and it wasn't only his hair - his eyes were a bit too tired and experienced, like he had already lived through everything and was now only waiting to get away. Like an old man, tired of life.

For a moment he just wanted to grasp Remus on his arms and hold him, let all the burden go away from his shoulders. He resisted the urge, mentally pulling himself back. 'He probably doesn't even love me anymore,' he thought depressedly. 'I'm a total mess. How could anyone as wonderful as he ever love me?'

For wonderful Remus was, despite everything he had gone through, despite his extremely aged looks. The silver of his hair made a stunning contrast with his amber eyes - they hadn't changed that much, they still shone like before, but now there was also experience and wisdom among his natural intelligence and kindness - his body was still temptingly slender and fragile, if not a bit too skinny; and his little, yet full lips were just inviting him to kiss.

At last he could swallow the lump in his throat, cough, and break the awkward silence. "You look old," he said quietly, his eyes still fixed on his former lover.

"I know," Remus said with an unhappy smile. His previous cheerfulness was completely wiped off, and he looked grave serious. "I know I look old, Sirius. It's because of what I am - although werewolves usually live just as long, if not longer, than other people, we age much earlier and faster than you do."

Sirius nodded in understandment. Remus had once explained this all to him, when he had teased him of the silvery hair he had found from the werewolf's head - they had been hardly twenty back then. Afterwards he had of course had to prove that he didn't think Remus was old or ugly or anything else like that. And he had done it, gladly.

In fact in this just same lobby...

He swallowed. He felt Remus's eyes fixed on him, and raised his eyes to meet the other man's steady amber gaze.

After a while of eyeing each other Remus said, "You must be starving. Come on and I'll give you something to eat, then you'll take a bath, and then we can talk."

Sirius managed a little smile. Trust the old, sensible Remus raise its head up right away. Get people fed, bathed, and then talk - that was the policy both Remus and Molly Weasley respected.

Not that Sirius had anything against it.

He watched as Remus prepared a few quick sandwiches for him. Whilst eating greedily like a starving - er - Grim, he gave Remus a brief explanation of the recent events. The brunette listened to him carefully, his hands under his chin.

Occasionally Sirius caught the light shining in the rings in Remus's left hand and had to stop for a second without continuing his story. The werewolf didn't seem to notice the real cause of his pauses but thought it was due to his eating.

After he had finished both his explanation and meal, Remus stood up. "I'll go and draw you a bath," he said. "Wait in the living room, okay?"

"Okay," he replied with a slight nod. What else could he say?

Sirius walked a bit warily to the living room as Remus went to the upstairs bathroom. It was hard to walk around here, now that he wasn't sure about Remus's feelings towards him. This house used to be theirs; he had bought it for them with the money he had got from his uncle. Everything reminded him of their time together.

Sirius sat down on a couch and sighed. Just here he had sat back then, holding up a simble golden band with a round amber on it, waiting nervously for Remus to answer his question.

And Remus had answered. "Yes."

He glanced at the golden bands that were still in his hand - one simple gold and one with a shining sapphire in it. Oh, yes, indeed. He was surprised that the Ministy Official's hadn't taken them away - but possibly they couldn't. The rings were symbols of their marriage, their love towards each other, and because their marriage was a wizarding one, the rings couldn't be removed by anyone else but their mate.

He still remembered just how relieved he had been when Remus had answered, and then they had kissed, and he had been in the Heaven.

Afterwards they had reached their completion together, still laying on the same couch he was sitting on, screaming each other's name as the came -

"Your bath is ready," Remus's calm voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What? Oh, yeah. Indeed." He shook his head again, his thoughts still on the night so long, long time before.

He got on his feet and went past his friend, managing a little, yet somewhat shaky smile to him. He quickly made his way upstairs, entering the bathroom.

At the same moment as he saw the familiar tile floor and the same, old bathtub he knew he'd have hard time.

He swallowed. This was not any good for him.

He slowly undressed himself and slipped into the hot water. He tried to ignore all the old memories, but they were too strong. Far too strong.

In this very same bathtub they had lost their virginity to each other, clumsy first-timers but so young, so eager, and so much in love. Afterwards they had washed each other's hair and spoken soft words to each other. He still could hear Remus's voice asking -

"May I wash your hair?"

It took him a moment to understand that somebody had indeed spoken the words. He turned around and saw Remus standing in the door, looking cautious and uneasy.

He felt a sudden sting of hope, and some doubt as well. Was the other man just trying to be kind, or could he still love Sirius - after all these years?

He didn't know. He honestly didn't know.

~*~

Remus swallowed as he looked at Sirius, who seemed to be a bit out. He knew it had been a mistake to ask for it. He hadn't even planned it, he had only peered inside to see if Sirius had everything all right. And when he had seen Sirius there - in the bathtub where their first real time together had took place - he just couldn't prevent those words escaping his lips.

Sirius still hadn't replied. He sighed heavily, a blush of embarrasment and ashame creeping on his cheeks. How could he have assumed that Sirius could still love him after all these years? That he could feel the same about the old, shaggy Remus Lupin as he had felt about young and somewhat pretty - or at least Sirius had said he was pretty - Remus Lupin-Black so long time ago?

It was impossible. Just impossible.

"I'm sorry I asked," he said quietly. "I just - I don't know what I was thinking. I - I'll just leave." He turned around, but froze as he heard Sirius's voice.

"Care to join me?"

He turned back on his heels, staring at his friend, his former lover. He felt sudden rush of hope and longing and need filling him.

Sirius met his gaze, steadily this time. "Care to join me?" he repeated his offer.

Remus swallowed once again. Then, very slowly, he nodded and smiled. "I'd love to," he whispered.

Sirius looked attentively at him as he got rid of his clothes. Sirius's gaze on his naked body felt a bit awkward, but he chose to ignore the feeling. It wasn't like Sirius hadn't seen him without clothes before - no matter that the last time had been over thirteen years ago.

He carefully slipped to the bathtub, avoiding looking at Sirius. After a while of intense staring at his body the other man reached out a hand and lifted his chin, forcing him to meet his gaze.

"Beautiful," Sirius whispered. "Just beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful," he muttered. "I'm dreadfully ugly."

"No you aren't," Sirius said firmly. "You're just as beautiful as you were when we were young." He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Remus's lips. Remus shivered under his touch, too stunned to reply the kiss.

After a while of kissing without getting any response Sirius drew back, looking worried. "Remie - do you still love me?" he asked, sounding almost desperate.

He felt shocked. How could Sirius ask something like that? He was the one who had been cautious, worried that Sirius might not care of him anymore, that he was only playing with Remus and his feelings, and now this black-haired beauty sat in front of him and asked if he still loved him?

There was only one possible answer.

"Yes," he said, taking Sirius's hand in his own under the water. "I still love you, Sirius, with all my heart. But - do you still love me?"

"Of course," the taller man replied, before leaning forward and kissing him again. This time Remus replied the kiss eagerly, moving his lips underneath Sirius's. When the other man licked his lower lip demandingly, asking for entrace, he opened his lips without hesitating, letting Sirius explore his mouth.

At last they broke off the kiss. Sirius looked at him, and for a while that mischievious grin was back on his face. "I believe," he murmured, pressing his mouth near Remus's ear, "that I heard something about hair-washing?"

"Oh, yes," Remus said. "Indeed." He reached out for a bottle of shampoo. "Turn around, will you."

Sirius obeyed, settling in front of Remus, his back towards the werewolf. Remus spread his legs a bit to allow Sirius nearer himself. The touch of Sirius's hips on his inner thighs almost made him moan aloud. Merlin, it had been so long time without Sirius!

He poured some of the shampoo on his hand. Then he carefully ran the fingers of his other hand through the shampoo, spreading it over his both palms. Then he began massaging Sirius's scalp, spreading the shampoo all over his hair. He tried to untangle the long, raven hair, determined to make it just as soft and smooth and shiny as it had been before Azkaban.

Sirius slowly relaxed, leaning his head backwards to him. Remus smiled slightly as he rinsed the shampoo out of his lovers hair. Sirius always loved his hair being washed.

He placed a tiny, light kiss on Sirius's neck. "I like your hair long," he said, quite truthfully. Just looking at those long, black tresses running down Sirius's back, curlying a bit on the tips, made him want Sirius and Sirius's love even more desperately than before.

"And I like your hair long," Sirius said teasingly. "Turn around, it's my turn now."

Remus did like he he been told, facing the wall as Sirius turned around behind him. He heard the familiar 'click' of the shampoo bottle's lid being opened. After a while he felt the cool liquid in his head, along with Sirius's warm, strong hands.

He couldn't hold back a moan as Sirius's gentle fingers began massaging his scalp. He heard Sirius chuckle a bit, then the Animagus kissed him on the both shoulders before continuing washing his hair.

It took a longer time from Sirius to wash Remus's hair than the werewolf has used on his hair, despite the fact that Remus's hair was a lot shorter and cleaner than Sirius's hair and completely untangled. One probable explanation was that Sirius used a lot more time on kissing and whispering to his lover than actually washing the hair.

At last he rinsed Remus's hair and leaned over his shoulder to place a little kiss on his cheek. "Well?" he asked. "What shall we do now?"

Remus swallowed. He felt better than well Sirius's erection against his back. He knew what Sirius wanted - and he knew that Sirius would never do anything unless he was sure that Remus truly wanted it also.

Fortunately, he was also well aware of his own raising arousal.

"Guess twice," he murmured, reaching his hand behind his back to touch slightly Sirius's erection. The other man shivered at his touch.

It took them three whole hours to get out of the bathtub.