More Than Just Friends

Quidditch practising over!

I was walking towards the castle, tired after the practice. I was all alone, which was unusual. Normally I had a whole bunch of friends around me, but now Peter was ill, Remus had some research to do and Sirius had promised to help him.

I shook my head, grinning. Even a thought about Sirius doing extra work was impossible. Okay, he always did his own work, and did it so well he always had top marks, but he never helped anyone or did anything useful if he didn’t have to. I assumed Remus was working hardly and Sirius was hanging around him, disturbing poor Remus with his stupid commentaries.

Because I had no homework to do myself, I started looking for them. I assumed I’d find them right away, because they were always in the Gryffindor tower.

How wrong I was.

When I came to the Common room, I looked around me. The corner Remus usually did his homework in was empty. Sirius wasn’t there, either.

I stopped on some first year girls who were just leaving. "Pardon me," I said, "but have you seen my friends anywhere?"

The girls looked at each other. Then one of them, a dark-haired girl looking like a leader of them, seemed to decide it was her task to talk. "Haven’t seen them anywhere," she told me. "Not after you left to the Quidditch pitch. They disappeared nearly on the same moment."

"I think they were going to the southern part of the castle," a tiny brunette said shyly. "At least they said something like that. I don’t know anything else."

"Thanks, girls," I told absent-mindedly and went forward. I went towards my dormitory to leave my Quidditch equipment there. When I was at stairs to go back to the Common room, I met Lily.

"Hello," she smiled. "I heard you were looking for your friends." Her red hair shone a bit in the dim light of the staircase. She looked even better than usually.

"Yes, I was," I replied. "And I still am. I have to tempt Sirius away, or poor Remus will never get his research done." I grinned to her.

Lily shook her head. "Poor dear Remus," she laughed. "If I was he, I’d lock Sirius in the wardrobe until I had my work done. I just don’t understand how he stands him. Sirius is today even worse than usually."

"I agree," I sighed. "I’d had him locked up on the first day of the school year and kept him there until the school is over, but for some reason Remus didn’t allow me to. Maybe he keeps Sirius as a little reminder. You know, ‘this is what you’ll be if you don’t work hard’."

Lily grinned. "Or then Sirius is some kind of pet to him," she suggested. "It sometimes looks like Remus had Sirius wearing a dog collar and was keeping the leads himself. When Remus leads, Sirius obeys. When Sirius tries to lead, Remus asks: ‘Why the hell should I care?’"

I laughed. Lily didn’t even know how right she had got it. "A dog collar," I laughed. "Maybe, but the dog has broken the leads and tied them around a tree, and is now running away as fast as he only can. And Remus doesn’t even notice it, because he has his nose in the book!"

"Or so you say," Lily smiled. "Next time Sirius is going to do something really odd and stupid and dangerous, let’s see who manages to speak him out from it: You or Remus." She nodded to me and continued her way. "I bet Remus," she still said over her shoulder.

I went on, grinning. A dog collar! Sirius would laugh madly at it. Oh, this was way too good!

I went to the southern part of Hogwarts. I swore. It’s the most complicated part of the castle. I had rarely been there. There was nothing to interest me. Therefore, I was totally lost there.

I was thinking fast. Where would someone like Remus go? He had surely known where he was going to. And because he had research to do, it was obvious where would he go.

"I’m sorry to disturb," I said to the nearest painting, "but does there happen to be a library somewhere near here?"

"A library?" the kind-looking woman in the picture replied. "Yeah, it definitely does. Look down that corridor." She pointed left.

"Thanks," I said and turned left. "Do you know if there are any people there right now?"

"Oh, yes," the woman smiled. "A very kind boy, really. He’s very clever. He comes here often. His friend also does," she continued, a disgust crawling into her voice, "but I don’t like him very much. He called me an old crow."

"I’m sorry to hear that." Although I had to admit the woman looked like a crow. "You’ve been really helpful. They are surely my friends." They surely were. A kindlooking, clever boy who goes to the library often? And an irritating one, following him? Remus and Sirius, or I would eat my socks.

Down the corridor I asked another painting for help. "Yes, the library," a fat wizard from a group picture said cheerily. "I know. It’s the door left to us."

"No, it’s the opposite one," said another wizard from the picture. He was very thin and sulky, and he was giving the fat man some angry gazes.

"No, left!"

"Opposite!"

"Don’t mind about those two," said the third person from the picture, an old witch, who was looking definitely bored about the two men. "It’s the one right to us. Two young men are there for now, so in case you want to be alone don’t go there."

"They’re my friends," I smiled, "and I’m looking for them. Thanks for your help!"

I opened the door of the library without a sound and looked around me. I saw Remus and Sirius on the same second I had stepped in.

I stared at them, shocked.

Okay, I had seen them together before. Definitely. Maybe even too much, they were always together. But I had never seen - I had never even imagined - something like that.

On the first glance, everything looked to be just normal. Remus was standing there, with a small-sized book in his left hand. Sirius stood behind him, his right hand on Remus’s shoulder. They didn’t seem to notice me, though.

They saw only each other.

It couldn’t be anything else. I only had to look at Sirius’s hand on his shoulder - it wasn’t that friendly, sometimes even too strong grasp Sirius sometimes gave me or Peter. It wasn’t a grasp at all. It was only his hand laying softly and gently on Remus’s shoulder. And Remus’s right hand was laying on his, warmly keeping it on the place it was.

Nothing else with Sirius looked normal, either. His left hand was climbing up Remus’s other shoulder. His face was calm and happy, his eyes closed, nearly leaning against Remus’s. Remus was looking towards his face with an expression I had never seen before - a mix of pure admiration, warmth and love.

They still didn’t notice me. I couldn’t move. I only stared, when Sirius slowly, gently bent his head and placed a little, light kiss on Remus’s neck. Remus leaned backwards, against him, bent his head as far back as he only could and nailed his gaze on Sirius’s face.

Then, nearly surprising me out from my skin, someone spoke. "If you only mind, James," Sirius mumbled into Remus’s hair, "could you please shut the door and stay outside for a while? It’s kind of a private moment we are having here, as you can maybe see."

I was absolutely shocked, both about what I’ve seen and that Sirius had noticed me. Before I closed the door Remus turned to look at me. In his eyes was surprisingly only amuse, not the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment.

I closed the door tightly behind me and breathed deep. I had to lean against a wall - I wasn’t sure if my legs would obey me. I slowly glided downwards, until I was sitting on the floor opposite to the door, thoughts going around in my head.

You have known, a little voice inside my head said. You have known definitely well. Can you even imagine one without the other? The voice irritated me very much. Mostly because it sounded a lot like Sirius.

And it was right, in fact. I had always sensed there was something special going on between my two best friends. Sirius was my best friend, yes, but for him, Remus had always been something... Something else. Like a brother, like a part of himself.

Like a lover, mocked the little voice, coming up again. They’re lovers, you stupid. They’ve been who knows how long. It still has been for long time.

I know, I replied fiercely to the voice. Don’t irritate me. Leave me in peace. I want to think.

You mean, ‘be terrified’. The voice faded away, and whoever the little speaker had been, I had a disturbing feeling he was grinning at me.

I don’t know how long time it was. I only sat there, my eyes tightly closed, my head bent down to my knees, odd thoughts coming up again and again. I only tried to think about something else, but the more I tried, the more I thought about them two... leaning against each other... Sirius kissing his neck...

I heard a quiet creak somewhere near. I still didn’t look upwards before I felt a hand touching my shoulder. On the moment it touched me, my eyes flew to the person who owned the hand.

Unsurprisingly, it was Sirius. He was slightly smiling, and his eyes were full of amusement, when he looked down at me. "Get up, Prongs," he told me, and I sensed he was struggling against laughter. "You can either go away or come to the Common room with us, you’ll decide. I’m definitely not going to stay in a cold corridor, if there’s better places to be in."

I don’t know how I got on my feet. Probably Sirius was helping me, probably it was Remus, but I knew it wasn’t I myself. After the first shock had gone, I found it very hard to do anything. I think they mostly dragged me to the Common room. Gently and friendly, maybe, but still dragged.

The only thing I remember from the way is one short moment I noticed Remus looking at me. He was keeping my left shoulder, gently pushing me forward while talking with Sirius. Now Sirius was speaking - I don’t remember what, I think it was something about Slytherins - and his eyes were wandering around, so Remus looked at me.

I looked back to my old friend. A little smile was playing on his lips, and he had a cunning expression I had never seen before on his usually so calm face. His eyes were looking straightly towards mine, locking my eyes into his.

His mouth was slightly moving. I don’t know if he quietly whispered something, or if he only talked inside his own mind, the lips unconsciously following the words. Either way, I didn’t hear anything at all. For a moment he stared at me, still smiling.

Then his glance glided towards Sirius, and in his eyes was so great amount of pure love and something-more-than-only-being-best-friends I could only wonder how I hadn’t noticed anything before.

Next thing I really remember was when they put me on an armchair in the most peaceful and lonely corner of the Gryffindor Common room. Sirius sat opposite to me on a little sofa, and Remus settled next to him. Without waiting a second, Sirius lifted his legs on the sofa’s back and let his head down to Remus’s lap. Moony calmly took a lock of his night black, long hair and started to fiddle with it.

They had done it before. In fact, that was the position Sirius spent most of his time in the Common room. It was so lazy and relaxed and Sirius-like he seemed to be born to lie that way. It looked only natural for them to be like that; Sirius being just so lazy as he always was, Remus sitting calmly, his back straight, unable to only sit without doing anything.

Now, when I knew... more... about them, I saw something so clear I didn’t know how I hadn’t noticed it before. The position of both of them was familiar to me personally. That was exactly the way I and Lily were sometimes. And she always played with my hair, twining it around her fingers.

Sirius started to speak. "Sorry about that, Prongs," he told me, his eyes halfly closed in a full relaxation. "I know you had no time to prepare for that." A cunning grin spread slowly on his face. "Although I’m very surprised you haven’t had a clue about it before. I’ve always thought you’re clever."

"I’m not so surprised at all," Remus pointed out calmly. "You forget one thing, Padfoot, like you always do." He smiled a bit for Sirius’s sulky expression. "It’s not being clever. Not everyone is as curious and cunning and doubtful as you are. You would have definitely found out in two days. As you can see, James hasn’t." He lifted his eyes to me and smiled warmly. "He’s not the kind of person to see even what isn’t in sight."

Sirius grumbled. "It wasn’t necessary, Moony," he murmured. "Let me be alone in my own view of the world. That’s I being the cleverest and all the others only as clever as I think they are. That means, dumb."

Remus twitched hardly the hair lock he was playing with, making Sirius groan a bit. "Beware of your words," he told him, acting angry. I still noticed he was just going to laugh, when he glanced at me, smiling with amusement.

"Ouch!" Sirius exclaimed. "I didn’t mean you! I swear I didn’t! Let go now!" He made angry faces to grinning Remus, until he softened at last and released his grasp from the lock. He still didn’t let go from it, only went on rolling it between his fingertips.

Sirius gave him the last, angry gaze and murmured something about "sensitive sissy maids". Remus said nothing to reply, but he grinned even more widely than before.

Sirius returned his eyes towards me. "Like I said before the... disturbance," he looked sideways to Remus, who had no luck hiding his laughter, "I’m very sorry you found out that way. I s’pose we’d tell you some day, but it would have happened a little easier to you. Crushing to the place and seeing us in action... I don’t think I could make up any worse way to find out."

"That’s - that’s okay," I managed to say. "I was only... surprised. Yeah, surprised. Never assumed anything like that."

"That’s exactly what I was saying," Sirius grinned. "The worst way to find out, by surprise. If you didn’t have even clue about it, it’s even worse." He shook his head and looked accusingly at Remus. "Although I thought you said no one would come there," he blamed. "’People never come there’, that’s what you said."

"They never do," Remus answered calmly. "It’s not my fault you were late and James started looking for us. If he hadn’t, we’d be there alone for the next hundred years."

"Or so you say." Sirius returned again to me. "But... however... please don’t tell anyone, will you?" He asked me with a slightly embarrassed smile. "We were going to tell you, honestly, but if anyone other found out... If Slytherins found out..." He shivered.

"I swear I won’t," I promised. "It’s wholly your own business who you want to tell about it. But what about Peter?"

They looked to each other for a moment. Then Remus spoke. "I think it’s better not to," he said. "Okay, I know he’s one of us and all that, but..." He shrugged. "Sometimes I only don’t feel so good about him."

"The woman’s instinct," Sirius grinned. " Hey, wake up, Moony. If he wanted to cause us some problems, he could easily only tell about you. There’s no need to hold this back from him - and there’s no need for you to feel bad about him."

Remus looked firmly at him. "Padfoot, I mean it," he said a bit angrily. Then his expression became so childish and innocent I was just about to start laughing. "Don’t tell him anything, would you? Please?" He asked as nicely as he only could.

Sirius laughed. "I promise not to," he assured. "You know very well I can’t refuse when you’re looking at me like that. I’ll obey your odd feelings." He grinned at me. "Does Lily ever do anything like this?" He asked.

"Continuously," I replied. "She knows I can’t say ‘No’ if she acts a pretty little girlie." I smiled. "It looks like it isn’t any easier to you, though," I said. Remus gave both him and me some angry gazes. On the moment his expression was so like Lily being angry I nearly laughed.

"You bet," Sirius said and rose to the sitting position. Remus still didn’t let go of his hair. Sirius himself took all Remus’s hair into his hands and dug something from his pocket. "Turn around," he asked. "I’ll tie you a ponytail."

Remus mumbled something angrily. He still obeyed, but before that he demanded to see what he was going to tie it with. When he saw a simple leather band, he nodded. "Last time he had stolen some girl’s hair doughnut," he told me.

"You looked cute with it," Sirius grinned while he struggled to tie the band tightly. "It suited you very well."

"Pink one with red roses in it?" Remus snorted. "Oh, yes. Definitely. Anyone would look good with it. Heck, no one would! I can’t imagine even a girl who would!"

"But you did," Sirius said joyfully. "And you look even more cute when you get angry."

"I - am - not - angry!" Remus exclaimed. "But I’ll soon be, if you don’t stop that!"

"We’ll see," Sirius smiled. "Okay, it’s ready." He tied the last knot to the band. "Only one last thing..." He took something else from his pocket and quickly put it in his hair.

"What do you... Hey!" Remus in fact screamed. "Take it away! Take it away right now!" He looked like he was tearing his own hair off from his head.

"I’ll do," Sirius said happily. "If you only stop that. I can’t get it away if it’s afraid of you slapping it!" He reached his hands to Remus’s hair. From there he took a rather big spider. He kept it from a leg and showed it to Remus. "Look at the cute thing. It would never harm anyone!"

Remus rose up, turned around and slammed him firmly on the face. In my mind I was very, very sorry for Sirius. Being a werewolf, Remus was much stronger than any other of us. Too strong. I once saw him tearing a tree from the ground with his bare hands.

Remus walked furiously away. We looked after him until he disappeared to the stairs. Then we looked again around us, noticing that everyone in the Common room was staring at us.

Sirius grinned cheerfully. Unfortunately, the big, red trace of Remus’s hand spoiled his happy expression. "It’s the time of the month, you know," he said happily to the staring people. "Remus is always a bit angry while it."

Most of the girls looked furious. Jemenna Delaney, a girl one year younger than we, gave Sirius an angry gaze. If a glance could kill, Sirius would be taken away in very, very little pieces. "You’re just as childish as usual," she said bitterly. "If you don’t even know the difference between a girl and a boy, I’m not very surprised you don’t have a girlfriend yet."

They were all unable to understand, why we both laughed from the top of our lungs when we made our way after Remus.