Dragon's Fire

For the first few days following our break up, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Part of me wanted to believe it was just a dream. Part of me was afraid it hadn't been a dream. I stopped going to both Arithmancy and Potions. Snape made noises about failing me, but I sweet-talked him into independent study, saying that I could no longer stand to be around mudbloods and blood-traitors. I didn't mean any of it, of course, but he didn't know that. He let me off the hook, with extra assignments and a look that said he, too, was tired of putting up with people who weren't worthy of learning magic. My Arithmancy class wasn't so forgiving, but the professor told me that, as long as I could pass the N.E.W.T. test at the end of the year, she didn't care whether or not I came to class. I did all in my power to avoid Ginny or anything that reminded me of her. I burned the sheets we'd slept on for so many long, love-filled nights and purchased new ones. I put anything that was hers into a box that hid itself in my wardrobe. I smashed the mirror that hung over my bathroom sink with my bare fists, shredding my hands. I hardly noticed the pain. Most of the rest of the month was spent in a drunken stupor, in which I allowed no one to see me, not even Pansy. In late April, Pansy finally broke through my door and stormed into my room.

"Draco Malfoy!"

"What?" I said, covering my ears.

"Get up! Get out of that bed!" She stomped over to me, heels clicking on the hard concrete floor.

"What for?"

"Greet the day, or some such bullshit. You have to get out of bed, smell something that isn't alcohol. Or piss," she said, pulling the covers off of me.

"What'd you do that for? I was fine, just the way I was," I slurred.

"Well, I just saw more of you than I've seen in a long time, Draco dear. Don't you ever keep the snake in a cage of some sort?" She laughed at her own joke.

"No point in getting dressed. Not going anywhere. No classes, no people. 'Cept you. Nosy bitch," I muttered.

"Play nice, or I'll get the hose."

"No. No play. Sleep. Sleep is good."

"Draco, please, stop being so self-indulgent for one damn minute and realize that I'm trying to help you, you stubborn ass!" she yelled at me.

"Ow. Don't yell, damn it. I'm right freaking here, Pansy. God." My head hurt and the rest of my body was just as compliant. Which meant not at all.

"I will yell if I want to yell. Damn you, Draco! I've been worried about you. I haven't seen you for months, you haven't been to classes. I thought maybe you were in trouble or dead when, all along, you were in here, drunk and passed out. I hate you!"

"That's a long speech. I'm still a little bit hungover, dear. And, you don't hate me; you love me. 'Cause I love you. Apparently, that's a bad thing."

"I'll try not to be insulted by that. Why is that a bad thing?"

"'Cause Ginny thinks that I'm in love with you and that we're getting married. And, that I was cheating on her with you the whole time we were together."

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. Why does she think that and how did she find out that we're 'getting married'?"

"Potter and Weasley knocked me out and dragged me to an empty classroom. I drank Veritaserum and they asked me lots of questions 'bout you. They asked me if we'd had sex and whether or not I loved you and where my ring was that I was s'posed to give Ginny. Couldn't find it. I think it's lost." I laughed.

"Draco! Snap out of it." She slapped my face, hard.

"Ow! Sonofabitch! What the fuck did you do that for?!" I grabbed my head, and shrank away from her.

"You need to wake the hell up. Grow up and move on."

"That's just mean. Even for you," I said.

"Rejoin the world, Draco. It misses you. So do I."

"Sweet of you, but I just want to stay here, like this. I don't want to go back out there and see her. Can't face her. Can't face the look she'll give me. Can't do it. Can't."

"Yes, you can. I know you don't want to, but you can. You have to get up, take a shower and go to classes. You have to talk to your friends again. You have to be you again. Please try, for me." She looked down at me, and her eyes pleaded with me. I couldn't refuse her. She was my best friend. Why would I bother? I moved closer to her face and leaned in to kiss her. It felt so right, so good. So easy and simple. She put a hand on my chest and shoved. It caught me off balance and I fell back against the bed.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because it's not me that you want to kiss. I'd just be a rebound-girl. That's not what you need, or what I'll give you. Plus, you're not my type."

"But, I was. Once. Maybe I could be again," I said and sat up.

"Yes, you were. Once. But you can't be again. I love Lavender and you love Ginny. Even though you want to hate her, even though she broke that beautiful heart you keep hidden away."

"Don't want to hate her. I love her. She made a decision based on truth that fell out of my mouth. I can't really blame her for making the decision she did. I just can't face her. Can't do it."

"Well, if that's how you really feel, then you need to get out of that bed and go to classes. You need to face her. You need to show her that you love her. Need to tell her that she was wrong and that you still want her in your life. Get up."

"You really think that would work? That if I just waltzed up to her and told her that I wanted her back, that she'd take me back, just like that?"

"It may not be as easy as all that, but yes, I do think she'll take you back. Ask me why I think she'll take you back."

"Why?"

"Because, underneath everything else, she loves you. She still wants you."

"And how do you know that?"

"She's been walking around, crying. She's like a zombie in class and she keeps her head down. She wears sweats and tennis shoes underneath her robes. She sniffles through classes and her hair's a ratty mess. She has all the classic signs of a girl who's in love, but doesn't have that love anymore. She wants it back, she just doesn't know how to get it back and keep her dignity intact."

"And exactly where do I fit in, in this insane plan I know you're making?" I asked.

"You have to crawl back to her, beg her, plead with her."

"And what happens when that doesn't work?"

"If it doesn't work, we'll go to the Three Broomsticks, or the Hog's Head and get fall-down drunk."

"I'm already fall-down drunk. And getting shit-faced with you won't make me any less inclined to try to jump your body than I do now. And since we both know what I really want, sleeping with you would not get me what I want. I want to not hurt anymore. I want to not feel defeated. I want to not want Ginny back. I want to just have her back. I want to go back to February, before all this happened and not tell you to keep it a secret."

"I know, baby, I know. Come here." She sat down on the bed and I moved into her embrace. She hugged me close while I cried tears that I didn't think I had left. I poured out my soul into her arms and she just held me close, letting me know that she was there, that she would help me rebuild my world. When the last tear fell, she pulled away from me and stood beside my bed. I just looked up at her, unsure what to do next. I had spent the whole of the past month in a drunken haze, trying to nurse my broken heart. I'd never been heartbroken quite like this before, and as such, I had no idea how to go about repairing the damage done to me. I drew in a ragged breath.

"What happens now? How do I go back to being who I was without her?" I asked desperately.

"Well, you don't. Not really. You remake yourself and try to be a better person." Her voice had a sliver of pain in it, like she'd done this before.

"How did you get to be so smart?"

"My father was a good teacher of life's harsh lessons." That one sentence was filled with so much regret, so much hate. I felt sorry for her, not for the first time. I schooled my face to not show any of what I felt, because I knew she'd just resent the pity and probably start another fight between us. She was the only friend I really had, now that Ginny had left me.

"I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's fine. So, you go shower and shave. God knows you need it. I'll clean this mess and straighten up your beddings." Her face showed nothing but cold practicality, but her eyes held a long-standing hurt that was too deep for words. I slipped out of my bed and grabbed a towel on my way to the lavatory. And, just before I turned the water on, I heard Pansy's minute cries. I nearly shut the water off and went to comfort her, but I knew from past experience better that to interfere. I let the hot water sluice over my aching head and down my shoulders. The steam did wonders for the soreness in my neck and back, but my head stubbornly refused to clear. I supposed I deserved the pain I felt. After all, if I had never gotten together with Ginny, never allowed myself to feel so much, I wouldn't be in this pain. My heart wouldn't beg me to rip it out of my chest just to get some minor relief. I wouldn't blame myself for causing her undue pain, for hurting her in a way that not even Potter had managed. At that thought, I felt more worthless than I ever had before. I suddenly felt like traitor she claimed I was. Once clean, I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my hips as I did. I walked back out to my room, to see Pansy bustling about, putting things in order. I noticed that she did all of this by hand.

"Why aren't you using your wand? Some of that shit's heavy," I commented.

"Doing physical labor helps take my mind off things. It helps me stop feeling sorry for myself. Plus, if I relied on magic to give me everything, I'd be in a lot of trouble later on in my life."

"How's that?"

"I wouldn't know how to do anything for myself. What if I were stranded somewhere, wandless? I'd have no idea how to fix a meal, build a shelter, that kind of thing." It was reasonable, and not a Pansy-like thought.

"What's got you thinking like that?"

"Lavender's just mentioned that magic isn't something that we should expect to do everything for us. It's a gift, and should be treated as such," she replied gruffly, struggling with a particularly heavy box. I knew that box. It contained all of the things that reminded me of Ginny. I was half-tempted to just let her drop it, but couldn't bring myself to be that cruel. I walked over to her and took the box out of her hands and placed it on the top shelf, as far back as I could reach.

"What the hell is in that box? It's heavier than my entire makeup kit!" she exclaimed.

"Ginny's things."

"Oh. God, I'm an idiot. Open mouth, insert foot." She put her head down.

"No, really. It's okay. You didn't know what it was. Ginny left a lot of her clothes here. She also left a few books that she was letting me borrow and some homework assignments. I owled those to the professors, though."

"What was that box doing down here?"

"Every time I got drunk, I decided that I needed to see that stuff again. I needed to see if I was immune to how it made me feel. Never was. The sight of the box, even now, makes my heart beat a little faster. I feel a rush of love and then, almost immediately the strongest sorrow follows it. It's like my emotions have decided they all need chasers. Sort of like I shouldn't feel too much of one emotion at once." I laughed woefully.

"Okay. Well, I understand the impulse, but you'll never be completely immune to how she made you feel. You'll always feel the pull of her body, her laugh will always make you want to laugh."

"You aren't really helping me feel any better. You know that, don't you?"

"I know, but would it help you if I lied to you?"

"You know it wouldn't."

"Then, shut up. I'm only telling you this because I know it to be the truth. I still feel Ariel's kiss. I still wonder if she's over me. I still want to know if she regrets what happened between us." Ariel had dated Pansy shortly after Pansy and I had agreed to be just friends. They had fallen in love with each other, and seemed blissfully happy. Until one day, Pansy came back to the dormitory they'd shared to find Ariel in bed with another girl.

"How do you deal with it?"

"Mostly, I ignore it. I remind myself that I have Lavender."

"Well, I have no one. What do you suggest I do?"

"Not give up. You can still win her back, Draco. It isn't over yet."

"Might as well be. She won't take me back, Pansy."

"You don't know that. And you won't know if you don't try."

"You don't know. You didn't see her face that night. It was more than a let-down. It was like she'd just found out that I was wanted for murder in three counties."

"Did she find out anything that you hadn't already told her?"

"No. She knew that you and I had slept together once. She knew I loved you as a good friend. But the way Potter interrogated me, it sounded like more than it was. And she fell into their trap. I wasn't given a chance to defend myself. She never heard my side of the story. She just looked up at me with sad eyes and walked out of my life. She'll never know the truth," I said dejectedly.

"She'll hear the truth if you can make her listen to you. She still loves you, I'm telling you that. She just needs to know that you love her, too."

"And how exactly am I supposed to get her alone? Because you and I both know that Potter and the other Weasleys won't leave her alone."

"Yes, that's true. But maybe if I were to create a distraction..." she trailed off.

"What are you thinking of, Pansy? I can practically see the wheels turning in your head," I said. She laughed, a full-throated affair.

"Just that maybe I could con Blaise into something and then cry 'foul' on him," she said, still chortling.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would. And I would enjoy his reaction greatly." An evil-looking smirk crossed her face. She rubbed her hands together in glee at the 'plan'.

"Okay, say Blaise actually falls for it. What do I do once you've distracted the whole of Slytherin? You know as well as I do that no one else in the bloody school gives a damn about our house. Especially not Potter and the Weasleys. Or Gryffindors as a whole, for that matter." Her smile faltered for a second.

"That's true. But I will find a way to involve the other Houses. Trust me on that," she said, grin back in place.

"Okay. Well, when this doesn't work, how will I get her alone?"

"It will work. Just give the plan some time to work, please. Rome wasn't built in a day, after all," she pointed out.

"Fine. Now, I have a slight favor to ask you."

"What is it? Because if it's even the tiniest bit sexual in nature, I'll--"

"No, it's not sexual. I need you to help me shave." She gave me a look that said I should know how to shave by now.

"I think you're a big enough boy to do that all by yourself, thanks."

"I don't have a mirror, Pansy."

"What happened to the one in your bath?" I held up my cut hand, wrapped in bandages. I had a tan version of a mummy's hand.

"I got tired of looking at the face that caused her so much pain." She took my hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. I jerked my hand away from her and cradled it against my chest.

"You have got to be the dumbest person, ever. It would serve you right if I just walked out of here, without helping you."

"You're right."

"You're a hard one to insult these days. You take all the fun out of a fight."

"Sorry."

"Fine. I'll help you. But promise that you'll get yourself another mirror. I'm not helping you every other day. I don't have that much pity for you." She walked over to my wardrobe, where I kept my shaving kit and pulled out my razor.

"Sit down, and hold still," she commanded. I sat down and let her have my throat. Part of me wished she'd accidentally slip and slice me, but I knew she wouldn't. She was nothing if not very careful.

When she was finally finished, I got up and rinsed off my face, amazed to find no nicks or blood. Maybe I should have her shave my face from now on. I always managed to cut myself somehow. I splashed some aftershave lotion on my face. I walked back to my room, to find that Pansy had left. I padded to the wardrobe and began pulling out items at random, not caring if they matched. As a Malfoy, I was expected to dress well, like any witch or wizard of pure blood. Today, I didn't give a damn. I could care less about the name I carried, or the expectations that went along with it. I pulled on black slacks and a silver dress shirt. I grabbed my tie and robes. After getting those sorted out, I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door. I passed a lot of my housemates in the Common Room. I received a wide variety of looks, ranging from relief to disgust. I gave them all a blank face and walked out.

It turned out to be fairly early in the day. I was only minutes late to Charms. The professor gave me a brief glare as I walked past him to my seat. I sat down and tried to concentrate on a Banishing Charm. But I could only think about Ginny. I couldn't banish any of the objects in the room. I made the seemingly-long trip to Arithmancy about an hour later. I sat at my desk and kept to myself. I looked up and saw Ginny walk in. her head was down, her hair covered by a hat, sticking out at odd places. She had on grey sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt. Her shoes we old, beat-up sneakers that had clearly seen better days. My heart went out to her in that moment. It was obvious that she was suffering as much as I. The evidence was only a few feet from me. On one hand, I desperately wanted to talk to her, convince her that Potter and Weasley were the bad guys, not me. And on the other hand, I knew that if I tried to approach her, Hermione would stop me cold and I'd never get any closer to her than this. It seemed that I was going to have to rely on Pansy's plan to be able to get anywhere near Ginny and just get her to listen to me. I didn't really think that Pansy's plan had much chance of working, but I hoped. It was a fool's hope, I admit, but it was all I had to keep me going, so I clung to it with all I had left.

A few weeks later, Pansy entered my room again, this time with a smile on her face. She quickly closed the door behind her and glided to my bed, where I sat, doing homework.

"I have news," she said excitedly.

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm not going to like this?" I asked.

"No, this is good news, I promise."

"All right, then. Spill it."

"The plan has officially been given a test run, and it works like a charm."

"What are you talking about? What did you do?"

"I caused a small explosion in Potions today, and the whole class clamored around me to see what had happened. Even Professor Snape came to see. Ginny stayed at her cauldron, as did you, but no one else remained. That's the best shot we have."

"You want to pull this stunt in front of our Head of House, in the middle of his least favorite class? You're insane." I shook my head.

"It's the only class I have with both you and Ginny, unless you'd rather conduct this experiment in the Great Hall, that is," she said matter-of-factly.

"No, I'd rather not."

"As I figured."

"Wait a minute, mastermind. How does Blaise figure into this?"

"Ah, Blaise. I needed a fallback person, someone to blame for the explosion. He was standing at the next cauldron, so I blew his up along with mine, and it was determined that since Blaise is inept at Potions that it must have been his fault and the explosion from his cauldron distracted me enough that I knocked the wrong ingredients into my cauldron and caused another explosion." She sounded very pleased with herself. Any minute, I expected her to break out into song.

"That's very sneaky of you. But won't Snape be suspicious if it happens again?"

"That's why I'm the genius and you're the ant in this equation. It won't be mine and Blaise's cauldrons next time. I'll pick two other unsuspecting idiots to take the fall."

"Who did you have in mind, and how are you going to get close enough to make a potion blow up from far enough away that it doesn't look like you did it?"

"I was thinking Potter and Weasley. Weasley is hardly better at mixing volatile chemicals together than our dear Blaise, and you know Potter gets all his help from Granger, who will be gone from class on the day in question. As far as making it look like an accident, I'll simply mutter a spell when I walk past them and give it a delayed reaction. One will blow minutes before the other, and everyone will be too confused to see you and Ginny walk out of the room and make nice with each other. Say it, 'I'm brilliant'."

"Slow down, Machiavelli. As much as I hate to say it, you can't use Potter and Weasley in your little scheme."

"Why the hell not?" she huffed at me.

"Because if Ginny thinks that either of them is hurt, she'll run to their side."

"All right, fine. I'll come up with someone else. But, in lieu of any further complications, do you agree to this plan?"

"As long as you don't hurt yourself doing it, then yes, I agree."

"Fantastic. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go rework a spell for delayed reaction from far distance." She moved to leave.

"Uh, Pansy?"

"Yes, love?"

"You do know what you're doing, right?"

"Of course, love. I'm excellent at Charms and I'm damn near a goddess at spell-writing. This will work, even if I have to invoke other gods."

"Just don't do anything illegal, okay?"

"Oh, you're no fun." She frowned at me.

"Please, just promise me, nothing illegal."

"All right, all right, I promise. Nothing illegal," she said resignedly. She put her hand over her heart.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you, love. Within reason, of course."

"Of course." With that, she sauntered out of the room, and I was left to my homework again. And of course, I couldn't concentrate on my homework. I thought of Ginny and how I could win her back. Could it be possible? Did the gods favor me enough? I wasn't sure I had any clout with anyone who might have a say in whether or not Ginny and I could end up together. But damn if I didn't hope there was, and that he or she was on my side. As the night wore on, I tried to do homework, but nothing that was in any of those books was half as appealing as the idea that I might get Ginny back. Finally, at about a quarter til one, I gave up any hope of inspiration to finish my work and got up to get a potion for dreamless sleep. I downed the little vial and fell instantly asleep, warm underneath the covers.

The next day began in an interesting way. I woke up to Pansy standing over me, staring down at me.

"God! Do you ever knock?"

"Do you ever wear night clothes?" she returned.

"No. I'm more comfortable without them, thanks."

"Have any good dreams?" she asked, making a point of looking down.

"Plenty. You were in...none of them."

"Be nice. Besides, what makes you think I'd want to star in your twisted fantasies anyway?"

"Because no one can resist the Sex God of Hogwarts. Even you quiver under my gaze," I joked.

"I'm all a-tingle with warm, fuzzy feelings, Draco."

"Did you actually want something, or did you come here to laugh at me?"

"Now why can't it be both?"

"Mmm, a dual-purpose visit. If I were less secure, I'd think you wanted me to do something bad."

"Not bad, per se, just not as honest as you normally might be."

"What do you want, Pansy?"

"Today's the day, my love."

"Day for what, a crazy person?"

"No, to execute our plan. Hermione has fallen ill, Ginny still seems to be in a trance, and you are back on your feet. Sort of," she said bluntly.

"Oh, that."

"Not the rousing start I'd hoped for, but for now, it'll do. Now get up out of that bed, shower and shave. We have to get moving." She busied herself with tearing the covers off my naked body yet again.

"Pansy, potions isn't for another four hours. What the hell?"

"The class isn't for four more hours, but the preparation begins now. In order for this plan to succeed, you must look your sexiest, you must smell divine and you must be awake and alert to dazzle her with the apology you should have come up with. Go and shower. I'll wait."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a little too demanding in the morning?"

"Lavender loves my demands. You seem to be the only one who complains. Now, go."

"Yes, master. As my lady bids, so I go." I got up and walked to the lavatory. After I was cleaned off, Pansy appraised me. She made me go back and shave again, claiming that I'd missed some.

"After three years, I think I know how to shave properly, thank you."

"Apparently not. There's stubble just there," she said, pointing to a vague spot on my face. I grumbled all the way back to the bathroom. I was forced to agree that I had indeed missed a spot near my left ear. Damn it. When I returned, she had laid out my clothes to wear.

"What is this? Are you taking up where my mother left off? I don't need you to pick out my clothes for me. I know what makes me look good."

"No, you have outfits meant to seduce a girl, not to win one back. You have no experience in this area. Just trust me when I say that I know how to win a girl back. You don't." I looked down at the clothes she'd chosen. It was my favorite sweater, a deep grey that seemed to show off my eyes and accent the color of my hair. And my best black slacks lay next to them, pressed and ready to wear. My black silk boxers and black socks completed the look. I quickly dressed, as I didn't really like the sensation of being naked in front of a girl I was no longer intimate with.

"Well, Doctor, how do I look?"

"Doctor?"

"You're trying to fix me, so Doctor it is."

"All right then. You look hot and you know it. But there's one more thing we must attend to before I let you loose in public and the masses decide to chase you about."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"Your hair."

"The hair is perfect. Don't mess the hair."

"How did Ginny like your hair? Did she mess it up? Did she comb it straight? Did she spike it up?"

"She was always running her fingers through it, saying that it was the one part of me she liked to see messy."

"Muss it about then." I did as she instructed and finger-combed my hair until it sat on my head in a messy, but brushed sort of way.

"Now are we done?" I asked, not too patiently.

"Yes, I'm done. Gather your things and meet me outside the Common Room." She turned and walked out the door. I picked up my backpack and shoved all my books and notes into it and stomped out the door. I breezed through the Common Room and out that door. I immediately spotted Pansy, who was trying to be nonchalant, standing half-hidden in the shadows.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, amused.

"Unlike some, I know how to be covert," she snapped at me.

"I know how to be subtle, thanks."

"Not when it comes to things like this, apparently." She smirked at me. I gave her my own trademark smirk in return.

"Fine. Did you choose someone acceptable?"

"Yes."

"Well, who was it?"

"Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. They're hopeless. That does seem to be a popular thing among the Gryffs," she said.

"Indeed it does. All but Granger seem to need special help." Even Ginny had come to me for help.

"Are you ready to go through with this, then?" she asked eagerly. I knew she was excited.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever hope to be. Let's just get through this, okay Pansy?"

"Of course, dear. Now, I have one last detail to attend to. So, I'll see you in Potions." With that, she walked off, leaving me to my confusion. What the hell could she possible have to maneuver this late in the game? I didn't know, and wasn't sure I cared, as long as this plan got me back with Ginny. I walked to Charms, head held higher than I had for the last month. I was able to successfully perform the charm and its countercharm with ease several times. I enjoyed myself for the first time in a long time. It's amazing what a little hope will do for you. I felt lighter, more carefree, like I had when I was with Ginny. And, after today, I would be again. I got out of my chair and walked to Arithmancy. This was the first class I shared with Ginny. I was eager to see whether she felt a change coming, whether she knew that we were about to be happy again. I opened my book as I sat down and pulled out a quill. I was just beginning to start dating my notes, when I felt Ginny enter the room. I looked up, and saw my world narrow to one girl. Ginny's hair was longer than it had been since I'd seen her last, and it was brushed into soft curls that fell to the middle of her back. Her shirt was a favorite one of mine, as was the shortest skirt she owned. She was breathtaking, and it was all I could do to just sit and stare. I wanted to run to her side and snog her senseless. All through class, I envisioned what it would be like to be with her again. My imagination got carried away with me and I damn near broke out in song.

I got up as the class ended, and practically danced to my Potions class. Excitement began to build inside me and I could barely contain it. I saw Pansy come into the room and she smiled her usual smile and I nodded. I was glad that my face never showed anyone what I was feeling, because in that moment, any of my Housemates would have never let me live it down. I grabbed the necessary ingredients as Snape's handwriting scrawled onto the blackboard behind him. We were making a potion that would cure all ills of the mind. Or at least give a temporary relief from them. I personally, had seen this particular potion fail before, but I made it anyway. I scarcely looked at the directions, as I had made this potion enough times to be able to make it by memory. I was finished long before others had gotten all of their ingredients on the table. I poured some into a small vial and set it aside, before magically cleaning my cauldron. I looked over to see Pansy also finishing up and getting ready to place her vial on Snape's desk. I walked up at the same time she did. I saw her mutter something just as she walked past Finnigan and Thomas. She placed her vial next to mine and we turned to go back to our seats. Once again, I saw her mouth something as she passed Finnigan and Thomas. When we were nearly back to our respective seats, Finnigan's cauldron blew.

"What the hell?" Seamus said loudly. Not five minutes later, the cauldron next to him exploded as well.

"Finnigan, what have you done? This potion is not meant to explode. I know that things have a tendency to incinerate around you anyway, but if you could kindly not take us with you, that would be much appreciated. Now, clear out your cauldron and start again. This time, I beg you do not cause a disturbance of any kind, or so help me," Snape threatened. I walked out of the room, along with most of the class, who'd left due to the smell from the explosion. I spotted Ginny, and made my way over to her. She looked up and saw me coming. She tried to evade me, by walking back toward the door, but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the next room. Thankfully, no one was inside. I let go of her arm and she turned away from me.

"Ginny, please hear me out. I just want to talk to you. If you still want to leave once I'm done, then you can." Not the best plea I'd ever made, but it was a good start.

"No."

"Come on, Ginny. If I ever meant anything to you, please listen to me," I begged.

"No. You have nothing to say to me that I'd want to hear. You said everything that day, about a month ago. They were your words; you can't unsay them now that you've had time to think about it. I have no doubts that you are sorry, and that you regret getting caught, but make no mistake, I do not care anymore."

"Then why have you been walking around like a zombie? Dressed like a homeless person? You are just as unhappy without me as I am without you. I miss you, Ginny. Please come back to me. Please let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I swear, it's all I want to do. I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you until nothing else matters. I know that somewhere, deep down, you want that, too. I know you, Ginny. Please. Don't leave me." I held out my hand to her. She stared at me, as if nothing I'd said penetrated her ears, her heart. She gave me cold eyes and an even colder heart. This wasn't my Ginny.

"I've been walking around like this because you broke me. I am unhappy without you. And I want to have you back, as horrible as that sounds. But I keep picturing you with Pansy. I keep seeing you together behind my back. The real bitch of this whole thing, Draco, is that I do still love you. And that is the sad truth. But I can't love you. I don't trust you anymore. Please, leave me alone. Don't try to contact me. Just, don't," she said and walked past me to the door.

"But I love you. How am I supposed to just give that up? 'Teach me how I should forget to think'." Her hand paused above the doorknob.

"I love you, too. But that's gone now. Regret that you lost me, and feel sorry that you hurt me," she said and walked out the door, out of my life. A huge cloud of sadness washed over me and I just stood there, staring at the open door. I knew my face probably betrayed what I was feeling, but for the first time in I don't know how long, I didn't care who saw me. I walked back out of the room and ran toward my own room. I quickly packed all of my things into my trunk and left a note for the house-elf. I raced up to the owlery, and sent one to Pansy with a note, explaining that her plan failed miserably and that I'd see her next term. With a heavy heart, I sought out my broom, and hopped on it. I didn't care where I went, as long as it was away from here.