Daco and Panty

"Your hair looks nice."

"Draco, we're supposed to be listening to the minister."

"Yes, I know, but your hair looks nice."

"Trying to butter me up?"

"For what reason would I butter you up?"

"I don't know. I'm not the one doing the buttering."

"You're making me hungry."

"You don't get to eat until the reception."

"Let's skive off the reception."

"Skive it off? Yeah, you're right. Nobody will notice if the bride and groom are missing."

"It's better than being in a stuffy room with all those Death Eaters."

"Your parents would kill you, and then they'd feed me to their dogs."

"They don't have dogs."

"They'd get them, if it meant eating me."

"You're too skinny. They wouldn't find any meat."

"Oh, and they would on you?"

"Well, I've got plenty of muscle. Not that I'm the one being fed to the dogs."

"You're weaker than I am."

"I am not!"

"Yes, Draco, you are. Am I not the one who moved the couch because poor you couldn't move it?"

"My arm hurt! I had thrown it out earlier that day."

"Excuses, excuses."

"Whatever, Pansy."

"Draco?"

"Oh, what?"

"Do you take Pansy Parkinson to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, I do."

"Real smooth, Draco."
"Shut up, Pansy. You distracted me, as usual."

"Yes, put all the blame on me."

"Exactly."

"Oh, I do, minister."

"Ha, yours was smooth too."

"We're supposed to be kissing now."

"Oh? Me, kiss you?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It could be."

"Shut up and kiss me."

-

"Sign it, please!"

"I don't know why you want a stupid horse anyway."

"Because I like to ride them. And since I don't get to have a job, I have nothing to do."

"You can get a job if you want, Pansy."

"Not according to your mother. I'm destined to be a housewife until I wither away and die."

"You won't be doing any withering anytime soon."

"Not if your mother can help it."

"Why do we have to sign this to get a stupid horse?"

"It's a contract. You know, saying we'll take care of it, yadda yadda. Some horse owners are all picky about this stuff."

"Can't imagine why."

"Just sign it."

"Do I have to ride this thing?"

"No, but I'll probably talk you into it."
"As if you're that persuasive."

"I can be."

"I'd like to see that."

"Draco, sign the paper, pleeeeeaaassseeee."

"Stop whining. I'll sign it."

"'Daco?'"

"What are you talking about?"

"You put 'Daco' down."

"I did not."

"Yes, it says 'Daco Malfoy.' You can't even spell your name!"

"I didn't do it on purpose."

"Sure, you didn't. I think I'll sign my name now."

"'Panty'?"

"I did it on purpose."

"'Daco' and 'Panty'. What a great couple."

"That's what I thought too."

"You think they'll accept it?"

"Probably not, Daco. They'll end up sending it back."

"Don't call me Daco."

"But it's so cute."

"I don't want my name to be cute."

"Too late. It already is, Daco."

"Shut it, Panty."