Helter Skelter

GINNY

He smashed the door with his fists, kicked the wall with his leg.

He pounded the wall with his hand, ignoring the cuts that were opening.

Screaming curses and whispering his dangerous words to no one.

Frustration and anger boiled in him.

Heaved his soul.

He was so tired.

So tired of being everyone's hero.

Every one's perfect role model.

He squeezed the head boy badge in his hand, trying to melt it into nothing.

'No more,' he whispered, 'no more.'

That is how Ginny Weasley found him in her closet, with blood running down his arm and tears pouring down his face.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

Hisses of pain escaped from his lips as her cold hands pressed against the broken skin.

She ignored his sounds and haled him into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

He looked at her with angry, untrusting eyes.

Disregarding his non-effective looks she grabbed his hand and dabbed his torn skin.

Then, still silent as he quietly hissed things she could not understand, Ginny bandaged his hand.

She moved to his other hand that was still clenched around the badge and found she could not open his rigid fingers.

'Open you hand.'

'Fuck off.'

'Get over yourself. Open your hand before you go right through it.'

Ginny, indifferent.

He loosened his grip, eyes dull, let the metal fall to the floor.

Clang.

Ginny snatched it and put it in her pocket.

A gasp jumped from her throat.

She pulled out her wand and started to whisper healing spells over the mangled hand, risking a letter from the ministry.

'I can't any more, I can't.'

He looked up at her, cold eyes.

'I am no one's hero.'

'You stopped being my hero a long time ago Harry Potter.'

He smiled.

Ginny didn't tell Harry right then that what she had just said was a lie.

She still worshipped him, more discreetly then the past, but the desire to be his was still burning strong.

The only reason she had said is was because she had thought that it sounded slightly poetic.

Years later, when she told Harry the truth, he had laughed and said he was glad she had said it even if it was a lie.

But her want for him didn't go away.

And at night she would burn for his touch, waking up sweating form dreams of him.

HARRY

It really wasn't meant to turn out this way.

I was really supposed to fall in love with Ginny. Really fall in love. Like they do in muggle movies.

Everyone waited for me to ask her to Hogsmede. Or they waited for Ginny to grab me and kiss me in front of the whole school.

After I had just won a match or something.

I was supposed to stay Head Boy.

I was supposed to win best smile in Witch Weekly.

I guess it really messed up their plans when I stopped smiling.

Then I was caught smoking. Lost me Head Boy.

Oh the horror, I wish I never touched a damn fag!

In both ways I guess.

Because when I touched that fag, I knew I could never have Ginny.

Not in that perfect muggle movie way.

I could pretend. Especially when I wasn't sober. And she could pretend when she was high on that shit Blaise gave her...

The only thing that went right is that I beat him, I finished him.

There are you happy?

I did something right, you fuck heads!

He's gone...the lucky one.

All of you unaware of what's to come

I said tell me what's to come
green is the color of my envy
it's the color of fame
so I'm gonna write it down to scream it out
and I'm never gonna be the same again

Only one thing seemed to go as expected.

Cameras and Quick Quote Quills flashed.

So now I'm fucking even more famous before.

I've lost myself again
soon my face will be on every magazine
and then my voice will be on every frequency
take my heart while you're at it

Why don't you sign me up to sell me out
I am my angel 'til death I do
I saw my first angel and it was you

DRACO

Fear is the color you've all exposed
now I gotta get up here
and prove the importance

Of my clothes

Of my pose

I suppose

The words rolled off my tongue like daggers, but they turned into feathers when they hit Potter.

Tickled him.

Made him smile with that wicked grin.

I'd even say it was slightly lop-sided but then that might sound a little strange.

Might sound like I was looking too hard.

But Potter can shove that grin up his arse, because I know he's not really smiling, even at my expense.

He can't laugh.

So I picked up my book, and he sat across from me, and then the girl Weasley came in and sat beside him, then Blaise came.

We were enemy, two vs. two.

But it didn't matter anymore, we didn't care.

The only people who gave a shit were the people who wanted everything to stay the same.

The people who walked past the room as Potter and Weasley played cards and I read, and Blaise slept.

They pretended they weren't looking.

Not too subtle though.

Potter got annoyed, told Fletcher to fuck off, then he put his head in and slammed the door.

Then he started fidgeting with his hands, glancing at Weasley.

"Oh go on then, just one, but move by the window."

Potter sighed and pulled out a mettle case and a lighter.

Move by the window, beside me.

Started smoking.

I was shocked and I hid it well.

But he knew I was anyway.

I knew he knew, just like he knew I was shocked.

That worried the shit out of me.

It was there, in my mind.

We knew each other too goddamn well.

"She hates it when I smoke. Hypocrite though. You should see the shit she does."

Weasley rolled her eyes and flipped him off.

"Like you don't."

"Quite right," said Blaise who had woken up by then. "If it wasn't for them," He thought for a moment. "I'd loose 33% of my business."

I just smirked.

To hide my surprise, but again Potter saw through me.

"We all have our ways of escaping."

He didn't say it to me directly, but I knew it was really only meant for my ears.

I started to read my book again.

My whole life revolves around your absence

Until I can't remember

What I was,

What I am

What I know,

Or where I go

I was scared as shit.

Everything I ever knew was gone.

I was angry too.

Maybe more then I was scared.

Potter had made a brave new world and I didn't know the rules.

I was lost, because I wasn't on top.

Malfoy was at the bottom.

There was no more good and evil, because what Potter had done couldn't be described as good.

What he did, what I did, it wasn't good.

It was what we had had to do.

Potter was playing with Weasley's hair and watching me.

I didn't bother to stop him.

Granger came in, and left with the two of them.

I didn't really see him again, until Blaise and Weasley forced us into their love lives.