- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- The Dark Arts
- Characters:
- Sirius Black
- Genres:
- Angst Drama
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
- Stats:
-
Published: 03/24/2005Updated: 03/24/2005Words: 6,973Chapters: 1Hits: 219
One Last Wish
Dopey
- Story Summary:
- Sirius Black has just lost everything in his life worth living for... now all he wants is revenge. (Takes place after the Potters' Death)
- Chapter Summary:
- Sirius Black has just lost everything in his life worth living for...now all he wants is revenge. (Takes place after the Potters' Death)
- Posted:
- 03/24/2005
- Hits:
- 219
- Author's Note:
- The events of the night in which the Potters died might or might not have happened this way. This is simply my take on it, everyone is entitled to their own ideas of what actually happened that night. With that said, enjoy!
One Last Wish
The news had hit him like a bludger to his stomach. He blinked. Once. Twice. Somewhere in his mind he could hear owls outside of his window hooting melodiously.
He realized he wasn't breathing. He couldn't breathe. He was transfixed and
couldn't move or snap out of his trance as much as he would've wanted to. He
suddenly felt like he was in a dream. Just floating in a
dream watching it all happen. He knew he'd soon wake up...wouldn't he?
His eyes stared past his old friend still trying to register what he'd just heard. How could it even be possible? Of all the times he had imagined what it would be like or what he would do if the situation ever came up...he never imagined that it would actually happen. It had seemed to him like one of those things people talk about constantly but never occur. Or maybe, he'd made it seem that way for his own good. Had he ever really entertained the idea? Really pictured what it would be like? Of course not, thinking about it hurt him, and he didn't like that feeling. He'd pushed it all out of his mind and subconsciously convinced himself that it wouldn't happen. But it had.
He swallowed hard as he repeated
the words in his head. Dead. Lily and James
are dead.
How could it have happened? Where
did they mess up? At what point did Dumbledore and the rest of the Order screw
up? How could he have allowed this to happen to his best friends? Air
entered his lungs again and burned his dry throat while hot tears began to well
up in his eyes.
"Sirius, I asked you a question," Remus said staring at him.
Sirius looked at him in the eyes
and saw that his friend looked worn out. He looked drained; his eyes were dull
and weary. He'd obviously given up on everything. He seemed to be trying to
understand, looking for answers in every place possible, just to match the
pieces and make sense out of that vicious puzzle that had become their lives.
"Did you or did you not, Sirius?" Remus insisted, closing his eyes as if gathering up
strength to ask the question just one more time; making a silent prayer in
hopes that he would finally make sense out everything.
Sirius could only stare. He tried
searching for his voice but he couldn't find it. He felt displaced from himself.
He felt like he had stepped into an alternate universe where everything went
wrong, where the good where doomed to a life of misery.
Remus had lost the last ounce of
patience that he had so dearly grasped on to. "Dammit,
Sirius Black, just answer the question! Did you or did you not betray Lily and
James?"
"How dare you ask such a question, Remus!"
Sirius suddenly bellowed. Where the strength to reply had come from he did not
know. But a surge of rage had suddenly erupted through his body and he felt alive
once again. He was back in his body. It was real. It was very real. Lily and
James were dead.
"How dare you come into my house
and insult me in such manner! You know nothing, Remus,
nothing!"
"Of course I know nothing! You made
sure I knew nothing! You pushed me out of your lives! How was I supposed to
know anything?"
What was he thinking coming into
Sirius's apartment accusing him of betraying his best friend and his wife? On what grounds? Remus had been
out of their group for so long, he couldn't even remember the last time they'd
spoken to each other outside of the Order of the Phoenix.
But now that he thought about it,
he remembered. He looked at Remus who looked angered
beyond reason. As a matter of fact, Sirius had seen no other side of Remus but his cold side since that last time when they'd
argued...when James had still been alive. Today, Remus looked beside himself; probably the most livid Sirius had ever seen him. What
happened to that shy and quiet boy he'd known at Hogwarts? The one who'd always
tried to convince them to back out of mischief. What had turned Remus into this monster that accused him of selling his
best friend, his brother, out to the most evil of wizards?
The answer was obvious: Lily. Lily
had happened to him. Lily had clouded his mind, his thoughts and his senses.
Lily had turned Remus into a vile being, or at least
his feelings for her had. The shy and quiet boy had turned jealous, resentful,
and spiteful. His obsession with Lily had become irrational and it was plain
for every one to see. Remus had always envied James.
James was popular, charismatic and well-liked. But when James got the girl the
story had been a different one. Remus had become
distant and non talkative, always locked up inside himself...obviously hiding something.
Sirius had always known of Remus' love for Lily but
he never thought it'd push him to the limits of betrayal...or at least that's
what every one had suspected...
But now Lily and James were dead
and there stood Remus blaming him for the very thing
that Sirius had blamed him for only months ago.
"How could you do this, Sirius?
James was your best friend," Remus said, his voice
sounding weak.
"I did not do it, Remus!"
"Then who? Because we both know now that I
couldn't have been the one to do it!"
"You were in love with Lily! You
were the obvious suspect!"
"Yes, I was." Remus lowered his tone and calmed himself down, looking more now like the Remus Sirius knew. He closed his eyes once more as if he were in pain.
"You're right, I was in love with Lily...and I still am. But
I was never who you made me out to be, Sirius. I would've never hurt her...I
would've never hurt James."
Sirius dug his hands through his
hair and shut his eyes tightly as the room began to spin. Nothing was making
sense. How could Remus not be the one?
"You shut me out unjustly." Remus continued. "You never bothered to hear me out. You
made your own conclusions about me and just ignored whatever I had to say. I'm
not ashamed of admitting it, Sirius. I did love her; I love her more than life
it self..."
Remus paused and Sirius could hear him
breathing deeply trying to regain his composure.
"Heck, if I could I would rewind
time right now I'd go right to Godric's Hollow and
give up my own life for her!"
Sirius buried his face in his hands
and took deep breaths. He could feel the tears coming and he tried to fight
them. He wanted to scream and yell and curse everything in sight but there was
knot in his throat that would not allow him.
"I just wanted her to be happy! I
wanted her to be safe! All I did was keep my distance from all of you because I
just didn't feel right. I just wanted time for myself to sort my feelings out,
to overcome my feelings for Lily. But you and James could not see or understand
that. You assumed I was keeping secrets. You just stuck to your wands and
pointed fingers at me. You called me a traitor, you accused me of being greedy,
of wanting her for myself....you said I would do anything in my reach to separate
her from James...you said that and much more. You talked about me as if we hadn't
spent seven years living under the same roof...as if you had never known me!"
Remus stopped speaking and Sirius heard
him breathing heavily. He dragged his hands down his face as he looked at his
old friend once more. Tears were streaming down old Moony's face, and Sirius couldn't recall seeing him cry before. Yet through the tears
his face was red with fury.
"Why'd you do it, Sirius? Why? Was
it another one of your reckless adventures? Did someone put you up to it? Or
were you just bored?"
"I didn't do it," Sirius muttered
closing his eyes. Everything seemed so surreal. Remus was not being himself. The death of Lily and James had affected him terribly
and if once Sirius had thought he'd known Remus' dark
side he'd been wrong. This was Remus' dark side. This
was Remus pushed to the limit. Not Remus in love, secretly hurting in his miserable
solitude...solitude that Sirius and James had left him to. This was Remus hurting to the deepest part of his soul, the one and
only thing he cared about most in the world was gone. Sirius could understand
that, but why was he blaming him? Sirius was, after all, feeling the same pain Remus was.
"Sirius, I want to believe you, but
I can't...all the evidence points to you!"
"I didn't do it!" Sirius spat out.
"James was my friend! He was my best friend! I would never do that to him! I
would willingly give myself to Voldemort and his
Death Eaters before I did something like that to him!"
"Then why didn't you! You were
their secret-keeper! Why did you have to go and rat them out?"
Sirius's eyes widened. With one
word all the pieces fell into place. Everything was suddenly clear. He held his
breath as a million thoughts rushed into his head all so quickly but yet so
clear. The shock of James and Lily's death had blanked him out, but he
should've thought of that first. It was all starting to make sense to him now...
"Rat," he whispered as he stared
into space, his heart sinking even deeper.
"I hope you're happy now, Sirius. I
hope your cunning plan worked. Blame the werewolf; of course, who could ever
trust a werewolf?"
Sirius ran his hand through his
hair and though he could hear Remus, his voice
sounded distant. He should've seen it coming...
Remus sniffed for a second and wiped his
cheek with the back of his hand. "I don't know why you did it, Sirius, and
honestly I don't think I want to know anymore."
He should've known from the very
start. He should've known from that very first day. How could he have been so
blind? Now James and Lily were dead...
"...and it's all my fault..." Sirius said out loud.
"At least you admit it," Remus said. "But I really doubt honesty is going to help
you now."
Sirius looked at Remus. How blindly he had judged him, how unfair he had
been! Remus had always been Remus.
He'd simply wanted Lily and James's happiness. He wouldn't have hurt anyone. He
had only been another tormented soul, caught in the middle of his affection for
James and his love for Lily. And Sirius had let himself be fed lies about him.
It had never been Remus...
"I'm so sorry, Remus..."
Sirius said and he felt the first tear roll down his cheek.
"I can't help you, Sirius." Remus replied. He was back to being himself, serene and
levelheaded Remus. "Even if I wanted to I couldn't. I
doubt I could even try."
"I'm so sorry, Remus...it's
all my fault...I should've stopped it...I should've known...please forgive me..."
Sirius fell slowly to his knees as
an immense mixture of emotions began to wash over him. His chest fell and rose
quickly, feeling as though he would soon stop breathing. His head was pounding
but what was worse was the feeling in his chest, as if someone had just stabbed
him and torn his insides. The tears began to come freely now. James and Lily
were gone. They were dead and it was his fault.
"I don't know if... if I could ever
forgive you, Sirius. Look to higher powers for forgiveness because you may
never find it in human kind. What you did was...the most monstrous thing you
could ever do; there is no name for it...you killed an innocent man and his
innocent wife...and now their helpless, innocent child has to wander the earth
without the love of his parents..."
Sirius looked up from where he was
kneeling on the floor. "Harry!"
He got to his feet and looked
around. He spotted his wand feet away on a glass table. He marched towards it
and picked it up.
"What are you doing?" Remus asked.
"I'm going to get Harry," Sirius
replied stuffing his wand into the back pocket of his jeans.
"Sirius, don't you dare hurt a hair
on that boy's head!" Remus exclaimed standing in
Sirius's path so as to block his way.
"I have to go for him, Remus, don't you understand? I'm his godfather!"
"You've already done enough damage!
I won't let you! The authorities will be coming for you soon!"
Sirius pulled his wand out but Remus was just as quick. They both stood there wands pointed
at each others' chests.
"I have no time to argue with you, Remus! I have to go and get Harry!"
"And I'm not going to let you!"
Sirius could not wait anymore he
raised his wand and exclaimed, "Petrificus Totalus!" at the same time that Remus began to say "Expelliarmus!", but this time
Sirius was a split second quicker. Remus' hands and
legs snapped stiffly at his sides as he fell hard to the floor.
"Forgive me, Remus,"
Sirius said as he walked over his friend's body and bolted out the door. He
found his black motorcycle sitting outside right where he'd left it. He'd only
last used it a few hours ago, never imagining that the next time he got on it
it'd be to go pick up his godson from what was left of what had once been his
hiding place. He threw a leg over the seat and grasped the handlebar tightly in
his hands. He'd already screwed up with Lily and James; he wasn't going to
screw up with Harry. He spoke loud and clear to his motorbike and said, "To Godric's Hollow!" And with a loud roar the black motorbike
took off into the night sky leaving a cloud of gray smoke behind.
Once again Sirius felt as though he were dreaming. He
stared up at the house picturing the different ways in which his friends had
fallen. Evil had left this house only moments ago. The
house was mostly destroyed. The roof had blown off and most of the east side of
it had completely crumbled.
"Oh God, please let this be a
nightmare," he said to himself. He placed his hand on the wall of the entrance
gate to the gardens for support. "How could I have let this happen?"
He looked around one last time and
took a deep breath. He then took one step forward and made his way slowly to
the front door. He felt that familiar knot return to his throat as he pushed
the door open and stepped into the house. Lily's perfectly neat house was in
shambles. Walking down the narrow corridor, amongst the rubble, a table had
been tossed to the middle of the floor and a shattered vase lay not far from
it, its white lilies scattered over the pieces. He followed a trail of large,
muddy footsteps past the table, vase and lilies to the staircase that lead to
the bedrooms upstairs. Its once beautiful mahogany banister was now completely
nonexistent. Pictures that had once lined the white walls of the stair case
were now strewn on the steps, mixed with the dust, rubble and wood that now
cluttered it.
Sirius stood on the last step and
looked towards Lily and James' bedroom. He sucked in his breath at the sight of
a lifeless hand protruding out of the room over the threshold.
"James," he whispered.
He approached the hand and stood at
the entrance of the darkened room looking in. He kneeled next to James' body.
He stared at him for a while feeling tears begin to sting his eyes. He wiped
his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket and sniffed loudly.
"Oh God, James... oh God, oh God, oh
God..."
"Who's there?" asked a familiar
gruff voice.
Sirius stepped into the room and
saw the shadow of an enormous figure standing at the far corner of the room pointing
a pink umbrella at him.
"Hagrid!"
The half giant was holding little
baby Harry in his arms. He looked around and saw Lily's body on the floor
behind him, her red mane covering her face. There were black smoke lines on
what was left of the wall above her as if an explosion or a fire had taken
place.
"Sirius, I didn'
know yeh was comin'," Hagrid said. Harry looked and Sirius and smiled showing off
four little white teeth. He began to clap his hands and Sirius managed to give
him a faint smile.
"You've got Harry," Sirius said
walking over to where Hagrid stood.
"Poor thing was lying in a pile o'
rocks," he replied.
Sirius looked around. That's all
there was left now - rocks and bits of things that were no more. His eyes
darted over to Lily's body once more and he felt chills running up and down his
spine. How was this possible? How did he let things get this far? His best
friends were dead and it was his fault. He could've stopped this tragedy from
happening. He leaned over Lily's cold body, and pushed her hair away from her
face.
"Lils..."
Sirius whispered. Her once bright green eyes were open and dull, a look of
fright still upon her delicate face. He placed a hand over her eyes and closed
them.
"It's horrible, ain't it?"
"Horrible isn't the word." Sirius
replied. He looked at tiny Harry in Hagrid's large
arms and he felt a tear escape his eye. He raised a hand to wipe it away.
"Yeh okay, Black?"
Sirius didn't reply. He just stared
in awe at the images around him. It was real. So real that just looking at it
hurt. His body was numb and he could feel himself grow sick to his stomach.
"Oh, Lily, I am so sorry..." Sirius said
his voice hardly audible.
A sob escaped his throat as he
kneeled next to her body. He took a couple of deep breaths and stood upright
trying to control himself.
Sirius felt a huge weight fall upon
his shoulder and he jumped, turning around to see what it was. Hagrid had placed his massive hand on his shoulder. "I'm
sorry, Black. I wish der was sumthin'
I could do. But yeh'll be alrigh'.
Little Harry here is going to be alrigh' too. A hero
he is. Killed...You-Know-Who tonight."
Sirius looked at Harry and his eyes
fell upon his forehead. He noticed something that hadn't been there before, a
scar in the shape of a lightning bolt.
"Harry, I'm so sorry," Sirius said
reaching out to touch the baby's forehead.
"Don't blame yerself,
Black."
Sirius nodded politely but found
himself holding his breath once more as he stared at the scar on Harry's
forehead.
"We should get out of here."
"Righ',
the muggles should be comin'
soon."
"Here," Sirius began extending his
arms out to Hagrid. "Give Harry to me, Hagrid, I'm his godfather. I'll look after him."
"Sorry, Black, but I've got me
orders from Dumbledore. He said ter go take Harry ter his aunt and uncle's." Hagrid explained.
"The muggles?" Sirius asked. "Hagrid,
you can't take him there!"
"It's not up ter me; if it was I'd give him give ter yeh, but Dumbledore said--"
"But I'm his godfather! Those muggles are not going to treat him right!"
"Sorry, Black, orders are orders."
Sirius closed his eyes and took a
deep breath. How could Dumbledore even consider sending Harry to live with
those people? He knew he was Harry's godfather, why wouldn't he let him take
him?
Then something Remus had said echoed in his head. The authorities will be coming for you soon.
The sick feeling returned to his stomach. Sirius stepped away from Hagrid and Lily's body. He turned around leaned over and
this time he wasn't able to keep himself back. He coughed and threw up over
broken perfume bottles, broken picture frames, and more rubble.
The Ministry of Magic was out
looking for him. Everyone still thought he was the secret keeper. They all
believed he had been the one to betray the Potters. Everyone thought he was the
traitor...and now they were looking for him.
Sirius wiped his mouth with the
sleeve of his jacket. He stood upright but felt as if he was about to lose his
balance. He was seeing spots and he rubbed his eyes with his hands to make them
disappear. He took a few deep breaths and turned back around.
Sirius looked at Hagrid, his face fallen and every ounce of strength left in
him was gone. He didn't know how he managed to keep himself on his two feet. In
one day his world had managed to turn upside down. Why was his happening to
him? He'd just lost his best friend, Remus thought he
was a traitor, he had to give his godson to muggles,
and now he was going to lose his freedom?
Everything was that rat bastard's
fault. He'd planned everything so accurately...who could've ever imagined that
the sniveling, pathetic fool could ever come up with such a clever plan. But
Sirius wasn't going to let him get away with it. If he was going to give up his
freedom, it would not be unfairly to the death of those he loved...it'd be to the
one he'd grown to hate in just a matter of minutes, the one responsible for the
whole catastrophe. If Sirius was going to be accused of murder then so be it,
but it would be for the rightful one.
Blood began pumping through his
veins faster and faster. He could feel it boiling inside of him. He was
suddenly overcome with such hatred so quickly that for a second it scared him,
but he pushed the fear aside. He didn't care anymore; there was nothing left to
fight for. But he would make him pay. The bastard would pay for the innocent
lives he had taken, and for the ones he had ruined. Sirius would make sure of
it.
"Black?" Hagrid said snapping Sirius back to reality.
Sirius found himself balling his
fists tightly at his sides. He looked at Hagrid, his
chest rising and falling quickly. He suddenly had so much energy he felt that
he could run to where ever the slimeball was hiding
and kill him with his bare hands.
"I'm taking little Harry now," Hagrid said.
"Take my motorbike, it's parked
right outside."
"Yer motorbike?" Hagrid's small beady black eyes widened. "But yeh love that bike!"
"I won't be
needing it anymore."
There were a few seconds of silence
in which Sirius just looked around the room and Hagrid started at Sirius in amazement.
"Alrigh'
then, we're gonna get goin'.
Say goodbye to Sirius, Harry." Hagrid said holding
the baby out to Sirius.
Sirius looked at Harry and took him
in his arms. The rush of hatred he had been feeling left him and he was taken
over by the feeling of that small creature in his arms. He would never be able
to give Harry the kind of life he deserved. He felt so responsible and so
guilty for everything that was happening.
"Please, don't grow up to hate me,"
Sirius whispered in Harry's ear as he held him close to him. He pulled back and
kissed his forehead. "I'll always keep you in my heart, don't forget that
okay?"
Harry placed his tiny hand over
Sirius's eye from which a tear had just fallen and rolled unto his cheek.
"Goodbye, Harry."
Sirius handed the baby back to Hagrid, who wrapped him up tightly in a blanket.
"See yeh around, Black."
"See you."
With that Hagrid turned and began walking carefully over the rubble, crushing it more with his
large feet. Sirius watched as he left the bedroom with Harry waving goodbye
over his shoulder. Sirius raised his hand to wave back but they were already
out of sight. He checked his back pocket and there his wand still was. He
pulled it out and stared at it. Where would that bastard go? Where would he
hide? He'd proven to be much smarter than anyone had given him credit for...but
how smart was he really? The little conniving vermin...it didn't matter if he
had to go to the ends of the earth to find him, in the end he would, and then
Peter Pettigrew would pay.
With a loud crack, Sirius Apparated on Johnstains' Street and faced the old, decaying
building. The once green paint had turned gray and was peeling off the walls.
It wasn't a big building but it looked exactly like the person that had resided
within it --revolting. Sirius's heart was pounding against his chest. He was
anxious and nervous and had to keep himself concentrated or he might've hurled
all over his shoes again. He hoped against all hope that at least in this
situation, Peter had turned out as predictable as he'd always been. It'd only
been a few hours since James and Lily's death and the most reasonable thing
would be for him to be packing his things and getting ready to scram. But over
the last twenty four hours Sirius had come to realize he didn't know who Peter
Pettigrew was. He'd never known. He didn't know what to expect anymore, and
that scared him a little, but he pushed the feeling away. He thought of James
and Lily's lifeless bodies, and Harry, only one year old and already orphaned.
Pettigrew had to be there, life couldn't be that unfair.
The sun was rising and the sky was
slowly turning to a light shade of pink. Sirius gripped his wand tighter in his
hand as a chilly breeze blew and he marched towards the building.
A gate made of metal with a lock was the building's entrance. He'd only been
here once before, but he and his friends had avoided it, due to the fact that
it was a muggle building in a muggle neighborhood and they had to be extra cautious using magic around them. Why
Pettigrew would choose to live there was beyond him. After all, wasn't hating all non purebloods and muggles his new life-style? The one for which he'd betrayed his lifelong friends for?
He pitied the muggles that lived in that same
building with Pettigrew. Sirius felt disgusted at the thought of sharing a dorm
for seven years with the bastard.
Sirius pointed his wand at the lock
and whispered, "Alohomora..."
The lock clicked open and he pushed
the metal gate in. He stepped inside and stared at the door with a rusty brass
number 3 nailed to it. Sirius inhaled and walked towards the door. He took a
few steps back and said, "Bombarda!"
The run-down wooden door with the
number 3 flew open and Sirius stepped inside to find that he had been right.
Even the cleverest of plans had to have a flaw. And there it was standing just
feet away from him.
"You filthy, stinking..." Sirius
hissed.
"Sirius!" Peter squeaked. He was standing
over a small, black and battered suitcase with parts of clothes sticking out of
the edges. "What a pleasant s-surprise. I wasn't expecting you..."
"Oh, you were expecting me alright,
you pathetic parasite."
Sirius was aiming his wand at Peter
as he stood in the doorway.
"W-what's the matter, Sirius? You
seem ups-set..." He cast his eyes around the room as if looking for something. He
fumbled with the button on his robes and took small and cautious steps
backwards. His watery eyes were filled with fear as they darted all over the
room.
"Thought it was going to be easy,
didn't you, Peter? Thought you'd get the job done and then wash your hands
clean and leave? Well, guess again."
"Sirius, you're not being
yourself..."
"Well, maybe because it turns out nothing
it like it is anymore!" Sirius bellowed taking a few steps forward.
Peter's eyes seemed to find what he
had been looking for but Sirius didn't look; he didn't dare take his eyes away
from him. Peter leaned over and grasped the backrest of a wooden chair that lay
next to him by a small wooden table. He looked at Sirius then looked at
whatever it was that was on the wooden table. He stood up straight again and
stared at Sirius. Beads of sweat had begun to cover his forehead and his hands
were clearly shaking as he held on to the chair's back rest.
"Let's be reasonable, Sirius." Peter
took a few steps forward. "I really...think we...need to...talk!"
As he pronounced the last word he
picked up the chair threw it in Sirius's direction. He dashed towards the table
he'd been looking at before and picked up what Sirius could clearly see now was
his wand. But Sirius saw the chair coming right for him and he aimed his want
towards it making it explode into tiny pieces that began to fall now as bits of
wooden rain. It was too late; Pettigrew had already gotten the advantage.
Quicker than Sirius had ever thought him to be, he pointed his wand at Sirius
and exclaimed, "Expelliarmus!"
Sirius was thrown backwards, out
into the hallway as his wand flew out of his hand and landed a few feet away
from him. He didn't have a second to waste though, as he rolled on his side and
reached out for it, but chubby Peter was already darting through the door,
through the main entrance to the building and into the street.
Without hesitation he aimed blindly
towards the gate through which Peter had left and yelled in return, "Expelliarmus!"
Sirius sat up to see Peter trip and
fall face flat on the ground, wand flying out of his hand. He rose to his feet
and ran to where the loathsome, pathetic rat lay. He picked him up by the back
of his robes and turned him around. With one leg at each side of the blubbery
idiot he stuffed his wand in his back pocket; he kneeled over him, grabbed him
by the collar of his shirt with one hand and smashed his fist against his fat
jaw.
"You bloody bastard!" Sirius yelled
as he continued to disfigure Peter's face with his fist. Peter groaned with
every hit as blood began ooze out of his mouth.
"We trusted you, you traitor! How
could you do that to them? How could you sell James and Lily out to Voldemort like that?"
"Sirius--" Peter began but another
one of Sirius's punches interrupted him.
"You fed lies to us about Remus! Told us he was so crazy about Lily he might betray
us! Then agreed to switch secret-keeper with me so you could run to your Dark
Lord and rat them out, you filthy stinking rat!"
Sirius clutched his large throat
with both his hands and squeezed with every bit of strength that he contained.
"Did you honestly think you could get away with it? You bloody traitor! I'll
bloody kill you right here!"
Peter's face was slowly turning
from red to blue and Sirius though he was almost gone. But the next thing he
knew Peter was swinging his arm upwards and smashing a rock against the side of
his head. Sirius let out a shriek and fell sideways holding his throbbing head.
For a second he thought Pettigrew had cracked his skull and that he was done
for. He'd die right there in the middle of the street without having avenged
his friends.
Sirius suddenly felt the warmth of
the early morning sun prickling the back of his neck and he decided that while
he still had some life left in him he'd fight. Pettigrew would not get away. He
wouldn't let him.
He rolled onto his back still
holding the side of his head, his eyes squeezed shut. His hand was wet and he
knew it was blood because he could already smell it. He pushed himself up with
his other hand and saw Pettigrew not far off on all fours trying to get up.
Pettigrew stood upright and turned
to face Sirius who was scrambling to his feet. Several people had begun to
gather around them, all staring in terror at the two men who were beating each
other senseless in the middle of the street. Sirius stood and looked around. He
took several steps back as he tried to regain his balance. Just then his back
hit something flat and hard. Sirius turned his head to see a tall, white wall
behind him. He rested a few seconds against it taking in short quick breaths.
Peter had fear plastered across his
face. His eyes quickly scanned the streets at the muggles that were witnessing the spectacle.
"They're not going to save you now,
Peter. I'm not afraid of them watching me kill you...because this...this is where
you die..."
"No!" Peter cried. He had begun
shaking and sobbing. "I won't let you...after everything you've done...after
betraying them like you did...I must seek justice!"
Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. What
on earth was he talking about? Had he finally gone completely mental? Had Sirius
beaten him out of his mind?
"Lily and James, Sirius! How could
you?"
Sirius was about to open his mouth
to speak but he saw Peter's hand move slowly behind him, but Sirius was smarter
than him, he could detect any suspicious movements before an attack. Without
waiting a moment to think Sirius reached behind for his own wand. But Peter had
been just as quick. Just as Sirius pointed his wand at Peter, with one quick
and swift movement of his wrist, unnoticeable to the untrained wizard's eyes,
Peter pointed his wand behind himself and the last Sirius saw of him was a
malicious smirk on his face.
The earth moved beneath them all
and trembled like an earthquake. Asphalt, dirt and rocks had begun flying
everywhere. The explosion was so intense that Sirius was thrown back against
the wall behind him. Dust and smoke had risen everywhere and Sirius closed his
eyes and coughed. All that could be heard were the screams and anguished yells
of the people standing around them.
"It was magic! I saw it!"
"Somebody help us!"
"They had real wands!"
The dust began to settle and Sirius
sat on the ground with his back against the wall. His whole body ached, the
side of his head throbbed. He swallowed and tasted dirt on his tongue. What on
earth had just happened? Had Peter killed himself?
He tried pushing himself up, but he
slid back down. He inhaled then coughed as dust went up his nose and into his
throat. There were water droplets falling on him; was it raining? He pushed
himself up again, stood up and leaned against the wall. He began to look around
through squinted eyes.
There was an enormous crater in the
middle of the street and Sirius saw the source of the water. The crater was so
deep that it had cracked the sewer below making water sprout out of it. He took
a few wobbling steps closer to the crater closing his eyes to the remaining
dust in the air. He felt his foot step on something that didn't feel like hard
ground and he stepped back. He opened his eyes and stared at what lay in front
of him on the ground. Peter's blood stained clothes...and his finger.
Sirius looked across the crater. People were running around yelling and screaming. There were bodies scattered on the ground and people crying over them. Down in the sewer several scared rats were running for safety. Sirius felt a chuckle rising in his throat, and it surprised him when he heard it out loud coming from his mouth.
Little, harmless Peter Pettigrew
had struck again. Sirius stared in disbelief at the remains of Peter and he
chuckled again, this time louder and with more gusto. He'd outsmarted them
again. Innocent, unsuspecting Peter Pettigrew had finished off what he'd started.
Who would've ever thought that someone as insignificant would turn out to be Voldemort's loyal servant, a spy in the Order of the Phoenix, the one to betray
his best friends, frame him for all of it, and then make such a smooth,
unquestionable escape?
He couldn't even believe his own
eyes. Who would ever believe that story? Sirius laughed louder now. There was
no justice in the world. It was as unfair as it could get possibly get. The rat
had gotten away. He'd slipped right through his fingers.
Sirius had now set on a manic,
frantic laughing frenzy. He didn't know where this was coming from. Maybe it
had been the last straw for him. Maybe this is what it felt like to finally go
insane. As much as he thought about stopping he couldn't. He was completely
disconnected from what was reality and what was not. Nothing made sense
anymore, absolutely nothing.
There were several sounds that
resembled gunshots, but Sirius did not bother to glance around, he already knew
what they were. The crowd let out several frightened yelps, while others
watched Sirius in utter bewilderment.
"Sirius Black!" yelled a loud male
voice. "Drop your wand and put your hands behind your head!"
Sirius looked at the man
approaching him, wand aimed directly at him. There were several others who
stood around him doing the same. Sirius simply watched them and laughed even
harder. The men looked at each other.
"We're Hit Wizards from the Magical
Law Enforcement Squad and you are under arrest for the murder of Peter
Pettigrew and twelve other muggles and for being
suspected of collaborating to the Potter's death and having dealings with
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." The man continued as they got closer to him.
One man pointed his own wand at
Sirius's which hung loosely in his fingers and said, "Expelliarmus!"
The wand flew out of Sirius's hand
and into the man's but Sirius didn't even seem to notice. There was a loud bang
and soon ropes were flying towards Sirius and tying his arms together behind
his back. He continued to laugh as the men safely approached him now.
"He's mad." He heard one of the men
say.
Everything had been in vain. He'd
lost his best friends. James and Lily were dead, and to Remus he was dead too. To Sirius, Peter had better die soon because if he ever came
across him again he would kill him and that time he wouldn't fail. He'd lost
his godson and now he would probably grow up to believe him a murdering
traitor.
Sirius knew, as the men grabbed him
by the arms and dragged him along to where someone was apparently charming a portkey, that he would probably never see daylight again.
He'd heard of Azkaban prison and had only heard horrors of it. He'd heard of
the Dementors, those vile beings that fed on your
happiness, drove you mad and sucked out your soul. But to the horrors of the
real world that didn't sound half bad. What happiness would they suck out of
him? He had none left. He had nothing left out here. Azkaban might be a step up
from a world of injustice, where evil always came out on top, where the ones
who fought for the good and well being of mankind were always stepped on. Who
wanted to live in that kind of world? Not him. He deserved to be locked up
because everything that had happened was his fault. He should've seen the truth
from the beginning. He should've known that the sniveling, cowardly rat was not
to be trusted. And Remus, how could he have misjudged
him so badly? He was alone now too and that was also his fault. He'd cursed Remus' love for Lily and made it into a horror tale.
James's jealousy had contributed to that, but he should've known better. He
should've been the one to remain level headed, but in truth it had always been Remus, but he hadn't seen that and now he would pay the
price.
And of course there was still
Harry. It was his fault his parents were dead. If he had remained secret-keeper
none of this would've happened. He should've never switched with Pettigrew. Of all people, not with Pettigrew. That had been his biggest
mistake. He should've never trusted him.
Fury, incredibility, guilt and
grief were all swelling up inside of him and Sirius could not take it anymore.
He stopped laughing and began yelling and struggling against the grip of the
Hit Wizards. They, in turn, held on to him tighter and pointed their wands at
him. It was over for him. It had been over from the minute he befriended that
bastard rat. If he could have one wish it'd be to never have met Pettigrew.
Their lives had been doomed from the moment he'd walked into them. Peter
should've just killed him. Why hadn't he been the one to die? Why did he have
to live on for the rest of his days to endure the torment of all that he had
caused?
To Sirius Black there was nothing left in the world worth living for. There was nothing left to look forward to. There was nothing left to fight for. There was nothing left for him at all.