Those Wrong, Yet it's Right, Things

Chapter 10

I like the fact that in ancient Chinese art the great painters always included a deliberate flaw in their work: human creation is never perfect.

~Madeline L'Engle

A Month Later...

The week following Pansy's encounter with the Order of the Phoenix, Pansy and Harry were separated from being partners in every class they'd been partnered in. Pansy instead found herself working with Parvati Patil, who was too sociable, too upbeat, too stupid, and all too much for Pansy.

Though Pansy hadn't slipped back into the shadows yet, she was becoming awfully close. She was once again the girl destined to be with Draco Malfoy, and Harry hadn't said a word or approached her in four weeks, and the lesser suited her just fine.

Having kept her promise, Pansy hadn't said a word about who all was in the Order of the Phoenix or the obvious betrayal of Snape, even when Draco complained about an information leak. By dinner every day, when it was obvious Pansy had kept their secret another day, she would see eyes silently thanking her from the woodwork; but never Harry's.

She'd been doing a pretty good job keeping Draco happy. He was always disappearing at night to attend to Death Eater business, so it wasn't that hard. It had been far too easy to restrain herself from disobeying him and she tried everything to become the silent hood ornament. Once again, Pansy Parkinson was becoming nothing more then a name and a face.

Pansy was happy to note that something she said had bothered Hermione Granger. Soft, preying eyes had taken notice that Granger had her nose stuck in a book less and less and seemed to be paying more attention to the world around her. At lunch, instead of reading, she'd listen to Parvati and Lavender's latest on what was going on around Hogwarts. At least Pansy had said something worthwhile.

Despite the fact that life seemed to be returning to normal around her, Pansy was still as uncomfortable as she had been the week her life had unraveled. She desperately missed the slight thrill she felt in going against her parent's wishes, no matter what the consequences, but she had accepted that she would never be anything but Draco Malfoy's.

That night however, she failed. Malfoy was for once not absent on Death Eater business and requested her presence. They were walking in the hallways when Draco told her he wanted her to cut her hair up to her ears as a show of her devotion to him. The thought was immensely entertaining to him, and he thanked Mr. Parkinson for giving him the idea. 'A little bit of punishment and embarrassment every now and then keeps 'em on a short leash, Draco' he had said. Pansy, unfortunately, didn't find the idea quite so hilarious and for the first time in a month the urge to revolt against him, to be her own person, surged through her.

"No," she said quietly before she had even thought the answer through completely. Slowly, the small smile slipped off Draco's face and he turned to her, gripping both her upper arms in his hands.

Fiercly, he asked, "what?" He knew she would try to snake her way out of it by telling him he had misheard her, so he cornered her. "I heard you question me."

"Perhaps you need to clean out your ears then, love. I said 'no' to be precise. That's not a question, that's flat out rejection." Pansy couldn't help it, that defiance had taken hold of her again and even though she knew it was very stupid to say the words, she said them anyway.

"I thought you had finally learned your lesson. Perhaps I'll teach it to you again?" Draco backhanded her until she was on her knees, too stubborn to crumple on the floor, weak, like he wanted her to. Angry, he picked her up and threw her into the other wall, satisfied to hear the stone crack a bit where her head had hit. This is how you control your women, Draco, he thought, recalling all his father had taught him.

Dragging her up from the floor, he barely let her find her feet before he picked her up by the neck of her robes, feet dangling an inch from the floor, her eyes terrified, and threw her at least five feet down the hallway where she landed with a horrible crunch on the floor.

Pansy pulled herself up using the wall and watched his figure walk dangerously towards her, smiling at his prey. She wouldn't run. Even as she stared at a sure near-death beating, she swore she wouldn't run. Running would give him too much satisfaction.

Harshly, he reached her and took hold of her hair. Pulling a knife from his pocket--where did he get that? she thought--he ran the blade tantalizingly down her cheek before setting the edge of it to her hair. Before he had the chance to cut it, however, he stumbled back from the force of a spell, surprise covering his face.

Pansy prevented herself from falling and turned quickly to her savior. Figures, she thought as she stared at the one and only Harry Potter.

"You're late," she said, remembering how he had saved her the past two times.

Harry smirked. "Sorry, love, but you know me, I have to make an entrance."

"Potter," Malfoy leered, recovering from whatever Harry had thrown at him. "How is it you always seem to find yourself in other people's affairs?"

"Just yours, Malfoy."

Draco started down the hallway towards Harry, Harry preparing himself for a dual. Unexpectedly, Draco took a hold of Pansy instead, his wand at her heart.

"Tell your boyfriend to leave, Pansy," he whispered. When she didn't respond, Draco said loud enough for Harry to hear, "tell him to leave or you die!" Harry lowered his wand, but looked determined to stay.

"Go ahead and kill me," Pansy spat, trying to free herself from Draco's chokehold. "I dare you."

Out of frustration, Malfoy launched her into the nearest wall, spat on her, and took off down the hallway.

Pansy struggled quickly to her feet so Harry wouldn't have the chance to help her.

"You know," she said, "he's just going to punish me worse later. Why do you always have to show up?"

"I have a bad sense of direction I guess," he said, leaning against the wall casually. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Picking up her wand from where it had fallen out of her robe, she turned back towards him. "Think these acts of chivalry are going to get me to join you or something?"

"No," he said honestly, staying planted against the wall. "It's your conscience that'll make you join us. I just do the other things for fun."

"You are so...." Instead of finishing her sentence however, she turned and took off down the hallway.

Harry quickly detached himself from the wall and followed her. "So what?"

"Annoying," she answered without hesitating in a step.

"Really? Most people find me charming."

"Yeah, well I'm not most people."

"You're not very good at keeping Malfoy from snapping are you?" Surprising Harry, Pansy halted her steps.

"Like you do better? Dreadfully sorry to disappoint you, but obviously I'm terrible at being an obedient wife and far from the image of the perfect Slytherin."

"Nobody's perfect."

"Except you, right? The Almighty Harry Potter?" Pansy rolled her eyes and started off down the hallway again.

"If I was perfect perhaps I would've been able to convince you to join us."

"Potter, I know I'm not your vision of a Death Eater, but that doesn't make me right for your stupid Order." Pansy stopped again, feeling the need to finish this conversation. Looking at him, she tried to keep her stare on his eyes, but instead they roamed his body, taking in his form and his built. Gaining control over herself she brought her eyes to his, waiting for his barely audible answer.

"You just have too much of a heart to be a Slytherin."

She responded quickly, "I really believe the entire world would disagree with you on that."

"You pretend to be the perfect Slytherin, the perfect candidate for a Death Eater's wife, but it's not who you are."

"And after one week of weird encounters and a month of ignoring me you think you're qualified to make that assessment?" Harry didn't answer; instead he studied her. The way her forehead wrinkled when she wasn't sure what to say and the way her tongue would trace the outline of her lips when she had the perfect comment and was trying to restrain from saying it, but she never did. "Save your theories and philosophical shit for your mindless followers, Potter. It's no use saying it to me."

"Why? Because you're afraid I'm right?"

Tongue traced lip again. "What is it with men and always thinking they're right? All of you are seriously too self-absorbed."

Harry hesitated not even a heartbeat. "You're afraid, Pansy."

"Pray tell, of what?" Masking all other emotions she let pure curiosity shine in her eyes, knowing he would see it. A million answers ran through her head--of Malfoy, of her parents, of the future--but none like the one that rolled off his tongue.

"Of doing something you actually want to do for once."

Surprised, she quickly gathered herself and spit out less then a second later, "join your little happy, go-lucky family? No thanks, I'll pass."

"Merlin, you're stubborn!" Harry said, letting out a frustrated laugh. The lines around his mouth curved as the soft tone emerged from his lips and Pansy wondered how it was people could find that emotion so easy to show.

"I'm stubborn? You're the one who won't give up. Thinks I'm a changed soul or whatever. Just give up, Potter, and leave me alone." Ready to take off down the hall she saw him smile again and waited for the witty remark undoubtedly waiting on his tongue.

"And give you the satisfaction of besting me?"

Rolling her eyes, Pansy stated in a clear voice, "this isn't a damn competition! You're a Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin, you are the Boy-Who-Lived, and I'm engaged to a Death Eater. We're two completely different people, Harry. Go back to your cozy little tower and all your friends and forget about me already."

Pansy really didn't like the look that passed through Harry's laughing eyes.

"I can't."