Alternatives

Killing could be very exhausting. This sounded awful, but it was true. In the course of last few weeks he had taken so many lives that he had lost count. It became a reflex: look around, see an enemy, kill him. Harry found himself wishing someone would cast a spell on him, something to prevent him from committing any more murders. Was there such a spell? Some do-not-destroy charm that would make him harmless? He knew he would not be able to stop on his own. It seemed that two months of imprisonment in the dungeon of Malfoy Manor, with occasional visits of Voldemort, had broken him, had damaged beyond repair the protection mechanism inside this body, ripped his soul to shreds leaving a worthless shell only capable of bringing further destruction to the surrounding world.

Harry walked purposefully through the ruins, approaching the last shrine of Malfoys: Lucius Malfoy's personal cabinet. He was paying no attention to fights of Aurors and Death Eaters around him, not giving a damn what side was winning. He had a goal to achieve, a debt to pay straight to the owner of this hell, and would not waste his energy on saving or killing anybody else.

The battle was coming to an end, all those he really had once cared for no longer alive. Harry would grieve later for Sirius, Hermione, the Weasleys, Remus, Dumbledore, half of the teaching staff of Hogwarts... people who taught him, loved him, cared for him. They fought and died striving to kill the Dark Lord. They succeeded, but now Harry was not sure if elimination of one dark wizard was worth so many deaths. Of course, if he had to give his life right now in exchange for the right to kill Lucius Malfoy, he would agree to the deal immediately.

A blinding flash indicated that he managed to break down the protection wards of the cabinet. The door exploded into a myriad of slivers, revealing two blond men inside, both with wands drawn and ready.

Lucius' reaction was fast. Harry did not know what Malfoy would do if somebody else appeared on the doorstep, but seeing Harry, the Death Eater pushed his son behind his back. Draco stumbled and fell. Obviously Lucius Malfoy regarded the one who killed his Lord as too dangerous for Draco. Harry would be touched with this gesture, clearly proving a father's desire to protect his child, if he had not witnessed other displays of this man's love not so long ago. The kisses he bestowed on Draco's face were anything but platonic.

Lucius brought his son to Harry's cell many times, and he never cared to hide the true nature of his relationship with Draco from the prisoner. Even weak and half-mad from pain, Harry had felt sick upon seeing a father shoving his tongue into a son's mouth in a passionate kiss.

A few times Draco was left alone in the cell with him, Harry attempted to ask him why he was not running away from his monstrous parent, why he was not seeking help and shelter. The only answer he got was an uncomprehending look and a discouraging "I love him". It appeared that Draco Malfoy did not see anything wrong with being his father's lover. His horrifying in its simplicity explanation that this was "the way Daddy showed that he loved him" shuddered Harry to the core. How sick was this man to do this to his own flesh and blood? And this had obviously been going on for several years...

All the more reason to do it, to kill the monster that had been torturing him day by day, making him scream and writhe in his own blood until any trace of hope had dissolved. It was just Lucius' bad luck that Harry had survived, that he had lived long enough to be rescued and to bring revenge.

There was no hesitation when Harry cast the curse. Lucius Malfoy's fate was predestined many years ago; all this time he had just been walking the path to his grave, every step, every crime against humanity bringing him closer.

The lifeless body crumpled down, and a piercing cry, full of despair, filled the air. "No, daddy, no! Nononono!"

The young man fell to his knees, grasping the hands of his dead parent, calling to him again and again.

Absentmindedly, Harry wondered how fast a proud boy turned into a nervous wailing wreck, in a matter of a few seconds since Harry had entered the room. He had never seen Draco Malfoy in such a state before. And the noise Draco was making... Harry could sense a headache coming.

'Stop it! He is dead, don't you see?"

It worked, although the reaction was not quite what Harry hoped for. Draco froze for a second and slowly turned, still kneeling by the body.

"You," he hissed. "You fucking bastard, you will pay for this." Draco's eyes darted to the side, searching for the wand he had dropped in his fall.

Anticipating the next move, Harry pointed the wand at Draco's forehead. "Don't." He warned his former school rival calmly. "Don't move unless you want to join him." He nodded at the still body.

The threat did not seem to frighten Draco. "Then do it! You just killed the only person I ever loved. If you don't kill me now, you will regret it, I promise you. I will find you anywhere and make you pay. You think what daddy did to you was bad? Just wait and see, Potter."

These were empty words right now, but they made Harry pause. What should he do now? It was simple to deal away with Lucius. The man deserved to die. But Draco? Could he be regarded as just another Malfoy?

These questions brought to Harry images he really did not want: of a child molested by his father throughout the years, of a little boy whose mind and conscience were slowly corrupted with wrong, perverted morals. Deep in his heart, he knew that Draco was as much a victim of Lucius Malfoy as he was. Harry could not kill an unarmed boy crying over the loss of his father. But what to do? Call the Aurors and let them arrest Draco Malfoy, so that he would be sent to Azkaban after a short trial? But even the Killing Curse was more merciful than a mind slowly rotting in the presence of Dementors. Sure, Harry could testify about Draco's past and persuade the Ministry that St. Mungo's was a better option. But it would be the same as to let him go right now: such a decision would be fair, yet lethal for Harry. Malfoys were good at keeping their promises, and Harry had no doubt he would meet a painful end very soon, were Draco to walk away right now, or after a couple of years of medical treatment.

Harry was so tired of killing and bringing suffering...He tightened his grip on the wand, making the decision. Draco looked him in the eyes with cold hate and despair, awaiting his death. Instead, Harry said one word: "Obliviate."

A pale blue ray from his wand darted to Draco paralyzing him. Harry held the wand pointed at Draco, not letting the spell finish. He remembered what he had been taught about memory charms: that the charms were meant to destroy memories not of particular events, but of time periods, that the longer a charm was held on a person, the more memories would be erased, that the charm would wipe out only personal memories, leaving the knowledge intact. It went on and on, and Harry kept the wand aimed at the boy, watching the last remnants of consciousness abandon the large grey eyes.

When the Aurors finally came, they found a dead man and two boys sitting on the floor nearby, the blond one seemed to be sleeping, his head resting in the other boy's lap.

* * * * *

Draco puts out the fire under the boiling cauldron and casts a cleaning spell on his hands. It is time for dinner, and he does not want to make Harry wait. Especially not on Thursday, the day when Professor Snape pays a visit. Professor Snape teaches at Hogwarts School. Apparently, he is their friend. At least that was what Harry told him.

Draco has no reason to doubt Harry's words, of course. It is just that sometimes Draco finds Snape too... intimidating to be thought of as a friend. When he shared his impression, Harry laughed and replied that Draco had been Snape's favourite student at Hogwarts, and probably the only one who was not afraid of the Potions Master.

Sometimes he gets a feeling that Professor Snape does not approve of their relationship, as he glares at Harry and purses his lips when Harry pulls Draco into his lap, but Harry just drops a casual remark about finding Draco's toys in the attic or calls Draco "baby", and Professor Snape casts his eyes down. Almost as if he feels guilty about something. Draco is curious about those little scenes, he has a feeling that this means something, but he is too scared of Professor Snape to ask him, and Harry just replied once that Professor Snape had been the close friend of Draco's family and some memories were too painful for him for refreshing.

Harry always manages to surprise Draco with stories about his past, revealing things that Draco would never expect from himself. For example, it was Harry who organised this Potions laboratory in the dungeons, assuring Draco that he would love it. And he was right. Draco feels really comfortable here, surrounded by hundreds of jars and bottles. He never gets tired of spending long hours down here, experimenting with old recipes and brewing new complex solutions.

It is a real pity that Harry does not share his passion for potions. In fact, Harry has no tolerance even for the dungeons, always complaining about the chill and dampness. Whenever Draco tries to lure him to the laboratory, Harry "remembers" a book he has planned to read tonight. A few hours later Draco discovers him in the library, sleeping in an armchair with a book opened on a first or a second page. After a few futile attempts, Draco stopped inviting Harry to join him there. Sometimes Draco gets a feeling that Harry is scared of the dungeons. But it cannot be true, of course. Harry is not afraid of anything. He is the bravest person Draco has ever known. Well, aside from Professor Snape, Harry is the only person Draco knows, or remembers at least, but this is irrelevant.

Draco reaches the dining hall, a beautiful room with a Malfoy emblem above the entrance doors. There are plenty of those emblems all around the Manor. Harry explained to him that the whole mansion once belonged to Draco's family. Unfortunately all of his relatives died during Voldemort's reign. Voldemort was an evil wizard whom Harry killed. All Harry's relatives and friends were also murdered by this wizard. Draco was the only one whom Harry managed to save, although some Dark spell wiped Draco's memory, making him forget everything, even his lover.

Draco does not know much about this time. He can see that this topic upsets Harry, so he suppresses his curiosity. He does not want Harry to wake up in the middle of the night screaming, and this is what usually happens after those conversations. Draco hates Harry's nightmares. Afterwards Harry closes his eyes and lies on his back till morning, breathing evenly. But Draco knows that Harry is only pretending to be asleep so that he, Draco, would not worry about him. So after a while Draco stopped asking those questions. He rather asks about school and their first date, and when his birthday is, and what presents Harry gave him, and all other small details that once constituted his life.

He remembers his embarrassment when Harry brought him here and took him to bed for the first time. He tried to remember how it should have been between them, but, as the doctors had said, it was useless because the Death Eaters had destroyed his memory beyond resurrection. So he just let Harry show him everything, touch him everywhere, kiss him and hold him. It was awkward in the beginning, to get so intimate with a stranger. But he was already told how close he had been with Harry before, that they had been in love since their fourth year at Hogwarts and that they had been each other's first lovers. And Harry was very patient with him, explaining to him everything, teaching him anew. After a while Draco got used to sleeping with Harry, and now, in spite of having his own bedroom, Draco spends all nights with Harry. At first he was not very eager for this, and Harry had to lead him to the bed each night literally by hand, but now Draco comes of his own volition regularly.

Both Harry and Professor Snape took their seats at the table and seem to be waiting for him. Draco enters and joins them. Dobby, their house elf and the only resident of the Malfoy Manor apart from Harry and him, immediately begins rushing about with dishes. Dobby is a very funny creature, and sometimes Draco wishes to have more of those in their house. Although one house elf is more than enough to take care of two men's needs. Maybe Draco just wants to see somebody else, besides Harry and Professor Snape. But he knows that it is impossible. No Harry's or his friends have survived the war, so there is no one to invite but Professor. As for going out, Harry says that this is too dangerous, as there have been several attempts to kill them.

Draco raises his eyes from his plate and looks at Harry, the only person who cares for him and loves him. Draco cannot understand why he even thinks about seeing other people. After all, he knows how much Harry loves him. No one ever loved him as much as Harry does, Draco is sure of that.

The End