Without You, I'm Not Me

Chapter Two: Life Changes

When you see their eyes and the tears,

Will you know when to stop?

When you make the first move,

Will you see the fear?

Draco lived with Harry and Hermione a week before he witnessed a fight between them. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen and watched them trying to make dinner. Hermione was cutting up some carrots while Harry stirred something in a pot.

"Where is the butter?" Harry asked in a flippant voice.

"Probably in the fridge," Hermione's voice sounded angry. "It's usually where we keep those things."

"What is your problem today?"

"What is MY problem? I do not have a fucking problem, Harry. You and that ferret are always here in this tiny flat! I'm having cramps and I don't like sleeping next to you, you're a bed hog. You gave him my bedroom!" Hermione screamed.

"You said it was ok! Don't make me feel guilty because it's that time of the month!" Harry snorted.

"Clearly this isn't working out as you planned," Hermione said picking up a plate.

"It's not. Oh dear me, I hadn't noticed!"

"Leave the fucking sarcasm out of this argument!"

Harry rolled his eyes and a plate flew across the room. The plate smashed against the wall and the fighting stopped. There were three loud thumps from the floor. Draco looked down, "Um, what was that?"

Harry and Hermione turned around looking guilty at the blonde. Harry answered Draco's question. "Edna, the Muggle landlady. She lives below us."

* * *

Dinner was a quiet affair that night. The three sat eating, and when they were finished, Draco finally spoke, "I want to thank you guys for letting me stay. I can see that this is a real challenge for you two."

"You don't have to hurt yourself, Draco. Just shut up," Harry said as he gathered the dishes from the table.

"I'm going to go back to the hotel."

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"I can tell when I'm not wanted." Draco picked up his wineglass and drained the contents. "Amelie somewhat conditioned me to recognize the signs. I also heard your argument."

"Eh, don't mind that. It was hormones talking, Draco." Hermione waved her hand. "I'm just stressed."

"We should talk about this though. If I am in your way, please, tell me."

Harry came back with a tray of coffee. "If Draco, is going to be staying with us for a long amount of time, I think we should move."

"Move as in pack up all of this stuff and put it into a new flat?" Harry set the tray down and nodded and her voice got louder. "Harry we don't have the money to do something that life changing!"

"True, we don't have Muggle money. We have wizarding money," Harry set the tray down and smiled. "How long were you planning on staying Draco?"

"I don't know," he stammered. "I don't want to go back to Amelie's. I never wanted to be there in the first place."

"Good," Harry said. "Now all we have to do is find a nice wizarding landlord with a lovely, roomy flat."

"Oh lords! You're not going back into that mess!" Hermione stood up. "We gave that up after that stupid war! Why would you want to go back into it!"

Harry looked at her, still smiling, "Fine. You can stay here and deal with Edna and being feline-less. I think after living here for two years its time for a change. I'm tired of being Harry the Muggle."

* * *

"Stupid cat, that was my tuna!" Ron Weasley yelled at the orange fur ball curled up on his couch. Crookshanks looked at Ron with his big eyes and blinked slowly.

Ron became more irritated. "Bloody damn cat!" He strode over to the fireplace and picked up a small pouch of Floo powder. He threw a small amount into the fireplace, stuck his head in the fire and yelled, "Hermione Granger!"

* * *

Hermione was on the couch with Draco who was reading the newspaper. Her head was in his lap and she was teasing him by rubbing the inside of his thigh.. He wore a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a simple white t-shirt.

"Stop that," he said turning a page of the paper. "Unless you want molested, then it's a whole different game."

"Hehe," Hermione giggled. "What are the rules to this game?"

"Hermione! Hermione!" A male voice was screaming and it was coming from the other room.

"Ugh," she sighed as she got up from the couch then she yelled. "One moment, Ron."

Hermione walked into what Harry called a study, where the fireplace was. She was irritated, "What do you want?"

"You must come get this cat. He is driving me insane. He ate my tuna sandwich!" Ron's head was poking from the fireplace surrounded by green flames.

Hermione sighed again, "I told you Ron in a couple weeks we will be moving into the new flat and then you can give him back to me. The landlady does not like cats; therefore, I cannot keep him here. If it bothers you that much I'll buy you another tin of damn tuna!"

"You still haven't told me why you're moving." Ron's face turned into a pout.

"Um, we need more space," she said hurriedly.

"You need more space. Why would you need more space? It's only the two of you living in that flat."

Hermione heard the door in the hall close and she knew Harry was home. "Look Ron, why don't you meet Harry and I, tonight, at that nice cafe around the corner from where you live?"

* * *

Hermione found Harry in the living room where she left Draco. He was straddling the blonde's lap, kissing him deeply. She watched for a moment, then cleared her throat. They broke away from each other, blushing.

"We need to get ready Harry."

Harry looked down at Draco like a child being told he could not have a piece of candy and asked, "Where are we going?"

"We have a sudden appointment to attend to," Hermione said. She turned and exited the room making her way down to the bathroom.

"Does this mean I have to leave also," Draco called out after her..

"No," she replied. "You're coming with us!"

* * *

The cafe was crowded so Harry told Draco to choose a table outside, under the awning. Hermione just sat down in her chair when she saw Ron's shock of red hair walking across the street.

"Why is Weasley here?"

"Shhh," Harry held a finger up to his lips. "Ron is not aware of the things that take place in our house. You've lived with us for three weeks. Ron has been dying to know why we're going back into our world. He also is aware that we have a houseguest. He just doesn't know it's you"

"Hello Harry, Hermione." Ron said coming up to the three that already sitting around the table. "And, bloody hell, is that Malfoy?"

"Hello to you too, Weasley."

"Why is he here?"

Draco rolled his eyes; "This is clearly a waste of time, Potter."

Hermione glanced at Draco then turned to Ron. "You asked me why we were going back into our world and now I am telling you the reason."

"Don't tell me that you're going back because of him?"

"No, not really," Harry said. "I'm tired of acting like a Muggle. Its really boring night after night just sitting at home."

Hermione looked at Ron who was still standing. "I told you earlier today we needed more space."

"Let me guess," Ron glared at Draco. "That thing is the reason why you need more space."

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, he can be taught," Draco laughed. "Are you jealous Weasley?"

Ron's face went as red as his hair. He then jerked Draco from his seat. "I don't find this amusing, Malfoy. He's obviously using some form of dark magic on both of you."

"I hardly think so, Ron," Hermione said trying to pry Ron's finger open. "We have wards all over the flat! You're quite aware that we have them!"

Ron let go of Draco, "Why him?" He asked before turning around to leave.

* * *

"So why doesn't Weasley hang around with you two anymore?" Draco asked as they walked back to their home.

Hermione grabbed both Draco's and Harry's hand, "It's a long story."

Harry leaned forward so he could look at Draco, "It's a basic girl meets boy story, except in this story the boy is stupid and cheats on said girl."

Draco cocked an eyebrow, "You mean Hermione and Weasley were dating and he cheated on her?"

Hermione nodded. Harry smirked, "They broke it off after something stupid was said. Then the next time we saw Ron he had his lips wrapped around Susan Bones."

"Susan looked very offended when I pulled Ron off her and slapped them both." Hermione said quietly. "I haven't spoke to her since then and I have only let Ron into my life on special occasions. Which has not happened often as he would have liked."

"When he heard we were moving into a bigger place he wanted to know if that meant Hermione forgave him."

Hermione gave a unladylike snort, "I told him once hell froze over I would consider forgiving him."

"If memory serves me right," Draco said. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

"Too right," Harry laughed. "Anyway Ron has been trying to get back into Hermione's good graces and her bed for a long time."

* * *

Footsteps padded down the hall and stopped in front of a bedroom door. The man knocked and opened the door a crack, "Harry?"

"Can I help you, Draco?" Harry murmured lying awake in own bed. He had been thinking about the blonde boy and had become quite aroused.

"I was wondering if I could come in?"

Harry's eyes got wide in the darkened room, "Sure."

Draco opened the door the rest of the way letting the light in the hall somewhat illuminate the room. Harry reached for his glasses on his bedside table. He found them and put them on his face and Draco became a sharper image.. Draco made his way over to the bed and sat down.

"Is there something on your mind?"

Draco fidgeted and stuttered, "Your kiss this afternoon. It shocked me.."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I just had been thinking about you all day."

"Why?"

"Like I told you when I invited you to live with us," Harry sat up. "I'm not into the female form."

"You're gay."

"Yes, but I will try new things," Harry plucked the bed sheet. "I'm sorry."

Draco felt around in the darkness for Harry's hand. When he found the hand, he covered it with his own. "Its okay. I wasn't used to it. Would you--"

"No."

"You don't even know my question."

"I can guess. Would I stop thinking about you? Would I kiss you again? Well, my answer to both are no." Harry pulled his hand away from Draco's touch.

Draco gave a quite chuckle, "Very presumptuous of you. Would you let me sleep in here tonight?"

* * *

After he gave his consent that Draco could sleep in his bed, Harry took off his glasses and lay down again. Draco folded back the blanket, sheets, and eased his legs under the coverings. He shifted in the bed so that when he lay down his head was sharing the same pillow as Harry's head.

"You do know that there are two pillows on this bed, don't you Draco?" Harry said, wide-awake.

Draco nodded and slid his arm around Harry's waist, "Why were you apologizing? I didn't say I was offended by what you did, just surprised."

"I don't know."

Draco let his hand trace the hard muscles of Harry's stomach. "Its nice to experience new things."

Harry rolled over onto his back and turned his head so he could face Draco. "Lets get one thing straight. When you flirt with me, make sexual comments, or hit on me, you're fair game."

"All right," Draco smiled. "What are the rest of these rules?"

Draco's hand had traveled farther down and now his fingers were tracing the waistband of Harry's pajama bottoms. Harry licked his lips and grabbed the blonde's hand.

"Do not tease me," Harry said.

"Who said I was teasing?"

"No one, it feels like you're teasing," Harry released Draco's hand then sighed.

"What?"

"It's nothing. I'm tired, that's all."

Draco let his index finger slip under the elastic of Harry's pajamas. Harry gave a small shiver.

"Cold?"

"No," he gasped. "That is a very sensitive area."

Draco let another finger under the fabric and Harry shivered again. Draco smirked and put his lips against Harry's ear. He drew in a breath and slowly exhaled.

"Do you like this?" He whispered, making sure that his lips stayed in contact with the ear. Harry gave a small moan and thrust his hips up. Draco smiled, "Patience is a virtue."

"Yeah, well, patience isn't waiting for this so it can sod off."

Draco slid the rest of his hand under the waistband. Harry gave another small moan and thrust up again. Draco's hand brushed Harry's erection.

"My, my, my, Potter, you're about as subtle as throwing a brick through a window," Draco chuckled as he grabbed the flesh. It throbbed in his hand and made him smile. "Did I do this to you?"

Harry sputtered and continued his thrusting. He regained his composure and said in a low voice, "Dammit Malfoy! If you are going to do something, do it. Don't tease me."

"I plan to do something," Draco murmured, letting his tongue slip past his lips and trace Harry's ear with the tip. Harry's voice escaped his throat again.

Draco laughed but it was cut short, because Harry flipped on top of Draco.

"The tables have turned," Harry said staring at the blurred human below him.

"So they have, Potter." Draco smiled. "You're forgetting something though."

"What?"

"Seeker reflexes," Draco said as he rolled over quickly and taking the other male with him.

"You do realize if we change positions again, we're going to end up on the floor?"

"Yeah," Draco said. "The floor is hard and who wants to fuck on something that uncomfortable?"

Harry gasped and pulled Draco's head down so that he could attach his red lips to Draco's much paler lips. He gently pried the other's mouth open using his tongue so he could explore what wonders the other had hidden for so long.

Draco ended the kiss and continued his explorations of Harry's body. He let his fingers trail down the smooth tan skin of the neck. His lips found the nooks and crannies of his collarbone area and fingernails scraped over nipples. Harry issued a moan when Draco did this, so he performed the action again. Harry moaned louder.

"Tease."

Draco slid up to where he could whisper into Harry's ear. The friction of skin on skin made Harry gasp. "I have no intention of teasing you, Potter."

The blonde let his left hand trail down to Harry's bellybutton while supporting himself with his right arm. Long, pale, slender fingers made slow circles around the indentation that left Harry wanting to scream at Draco for this frustration. The hand went lower where a fine line of hair started and disappeared below the pajama bottoms.

Harry gave a small whimper and tried to grind his hips into Draco's hand, but failed as Draco's weight was holding him down. Draco grabbed Harry's erection again and started slowly pumping his hand, up and down.

"Fuck."

"Is that an invitation Potter?"

"I don't care!"

The blonde man let his mouth travel down the much darker man's chest. The swollen pale pink lips went lower and Draco had to move his body to keep the contact with Harry's flesh. When he got to the waistband of the pants, Draco yanked them down off Harry's hips.

The pants caught on his erection and Harry lifted his bottom off the bed slightly. "Off," he mumbled and Draco complied.

As the flesh became free from its cloth prison, Draco felt the firm skin slide across his cheek. He touched the silky weight with his hand again. Harry moaned. His moan became louder as Draco gently guided the tip between his lips.

Slowly the blonde made his throat relax so that he could proceed with his task. Draco moved his head up and down, occasionally making eye contact with Harry. His pace was gradual and soon Harry had thick handfuls of Draco's fine hair in his fist.

Harry felt the tension building that signaled an orgasm was eminent. The feeling started in his thighs and worked its way through his whole body. As if Draco could sense that his job was almost completed he stopped his action to Harry's rigid shaft. Harry gave a small outraged cry as Draco pulled himself into a sitting position.

The look on Draco's face was one of delight, lust, and greed. Harry stared at him, quickly becoming angry. He decided to make use of his reflexes and quickly rolled from the edge of the bed. Draco was quite surprised when Harry tackled him so that his body was pinned to the mattress.

"You're a fucking tease, Malfoy." Harry growled as he brought his lips down to the other man's lips. He retracted for a few moments so that Draco could draw in a breath.

"Meep!" Draco managed to utter before Harry resumed his attack.

Harry took Draco's head into his hands and brought his lips to the pale skin of the neck. Draco made some appreciative noises and Harry continued. Draco had completely melted against Harry's body. Harry could not explain why but he panicked, sat up and the kiss was broken again.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I don't want--"

"You don't want to do this? Why not, Potter?"

Harry became aware that he was sitting on Draco's lap and he was very hard. The blonde glared at the other man. He was breathing as hard and Harry could feel his own heart pounding. Harry reached out and let his fingers caress over the silk pajama top Draco wore.

"It seems to me I'm not the tease," Draco muttered and his fingers made pale bracelets around Harry's wrist. He pushed Harry off his lap and released the other man's arms.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. When the panic subsided he opened his eyes and stared at Draco. He cast his eyes downward, trying to think of something to say.

Draco raised his eyebrows, his gaze, aimed at Harry, was skeptical. He finally pulled himself into an upright position for the second time. His first instinct was to say something cold and berating. The second instinct that came to his mind was to throw himself back into Harry's arms.

"Sometimes I get panicky," Harry whispered.

Draco didn't answer; instead, he reached out to touch the hand that was beside him. "It's okay."

* * *

Hermione woke up to a loud thumping and groaning sound. She arose from the bed slowly to investigate. She was about to stop and knock on Harry's door when she heard the noises again. This time it was louder and it sounded like it was coming from inside Harry's room. She was about to leave when she heard, "Don't stop! Potter, dammit, I was about t-- Oh Merlin!"

* * *

Harry awoke the next morning, alone. He groaned as he thought about what happened in the early hours of the morning. He got out of bed and pulled his pajama bottoms back on his body. He went into the hall and into the bathroom. When he came out of that room, he made his way to the kitchen.

Hermione stood at the counter reading the paper. She was holding a cup of coffee in her hand. She glanced at him and took a sip from her cup. "Sounded like you had an interesting night," she remarked.

"Shut up, Hermione," Harry growled. "Where is he? He's not here, is he?"

"I imagine he's at work. Which is where I must be going," Hermione put down her coffee cup and folded the paper. "It must be a lot different when he's not drunk."

"How did you know?"

"Your headboard was thumping against my wall. I got up to investigate because I thought it was something much more serious. I was about to go back to bed when I heard Draco's voice."

Harry picked up a coffee cup and filled it with the dark brown liquid, "I feel like I've made a mistake."

"Then you probably have made one, Harry."

Harry set the cup down and snatched Hermione's wrist. "Are you mad?"

Hermione removed Harry's hand from her arm, "We'll talk about it later.. I have to leave."

She turned and walked from the kitchen into the hall. Harry heard the door slam shut and sighed.